JON MCNAUGHTON WOULD LIKE TO ADDRESS HIS CRITICS: The mastermind behind the greatest painting ever, Jon McNaughton, would like to go on the record: “Some of the chatter going around on these liberal blog sites I feel is unfounded.” Also: “Why Satan? I don’t for a second believe he looks like that, but I do believe he is real.” [Jon McNaughton Art]

Well how about this! Jacksonville artist David Durrett sends this “real painting” (super-sized) to your Wonkette and writes, “I love Wonkette, and was inspired to do an acrylic response to the Jesus painting yesterday! Hope you like it!!” Yes it is very nice! Maybe Obama can steal this one too, for his house. Also, we’re awarding first-time commenter Shortpacked with an “iPhone” for his take, which was quite a hit yesterday, in the comments. What have the rest of you slobs done lately? [Yes You Canvas, Shortpacked]

So the Obamas are replacing a lot of the landscapes and marble busts and whatever in the White House with new art that they actually like. For example, this thing over there to the right depicting two very different people who are united by their shared interest in murdering a buffalo. The Times, the British one, calls this a “cultural revolution.” This is true! Very soon all families in America will be required to own several Rothkos, or the equivalent in buffalo murder landscapes. Anyway, let’s skip pretending we’re not going to do this and just go ahead and extrapolate Barack Obama’s policy initiatives based on the First Lady’s selection of interior decoration. MORE »

Thinking in the heat must be bad for you because every major think tank  seems to be MIA this week. Can you get Palinized for thinking? MORE »

It’s too hot to be outside, SO INSIDE you shall go. And where to? Turns out that DC is quite the cultural destination with over 10,000 museums (give or take a few) and you should go to all of them, and you have time to because August is hot and boring.  What’s more, super expensive museums, like the Newseum, are offering discounted tickets in August leaving you NO excuse not to go inside and get cultured. MORE »

IMPORTANT UPDATE ON OBAMA-JOKER POSTER: Even though creative people are liberal by nature and street artists played an interesting role in the election of liberal Barack Obama, who is widely supported by creative people, because they are liberal, “the art community is not meeting its duty of always questioning those in power,” because they have not immediately turned on Barack Obama, the president they just elected because they want him to be president. But just as a wife beater must always beat his wife, even if he loves her and doesn’t want to beat her, an artist MUST hate Obama, even if he loves Obama. Now where would such rote/contrarian insanity be published? [Reason]

Friday, August 7: While it may not be nearly as exciting as the Air Sex Finals that were held in DC this past June, the US Air Guitar Championships at the 9:30 Club tonight should still be an entertaining evening. Watch people awkwardly strum their stomachs for a chance to be crowned Champion and the opportunity to travel to Finland to participate in the World Championship. 8PM. $20. [9:30 Club] MORE »

Your Wonkette usually spends its Friday nights attending John Boehner beach parties or Sarah Palin wolverine sniper hunts, but you know what? It’s been years since Wonkette has attended Hirshhorn After Hours. So on Friday, July 24, 2009 AD, Team Wonkette partied with the hipster underbelly of DC. And everyone had fun, except Jim. [Untrue, Riley; you are fired -- Ed.] MORE »

The mass exodus of interns from DC is right around the corner, and it’s often preceded by the obligatory visit from mommy and daddy. Considering that these interns have provided us with numerous entertaining moments this summer, and organized the hell out of file cabinets, and did such an amazing job stapling, we figured we could do at least one nice thing for them before they leave. MORE »

Well crap. Somehow it’s almost the end of July. This is when you start thinking, “what the hell have I been doing with my summer?” DON’T LET YOUR SUMMER GO TO WASTE. Our political leaders have traveled, had affairs, and resigned; stars have died; Iran blew up; Honduras went all crazy. You deserve to have just as fulfilling and scandalous a summer as the rest of the world. MORE »

Oh hey did you hear crazy dwarf-alien Kim Jong-Il has been shooting rockets into the sea, by North Korea? No? ARE YOU SILLY AMERICANS SO OBSESSED WITH THE DEATH OF KING-POP MICHAEL JACKSON AS TO NOT FOLLOW NORTH KOREA’S MIGHTY THREATS? Well, Lil’ Kim wants you to know he is twice as weird as Wacko Jacko, with the additional freaky habits of kidnapping regional movie stars and starving his people, because why not, right? Dwarf motherfucker got to have his Cristal & ‘hos. MORE »