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Let’s All Enter Utah’s ‘We Love Oil And Gas’ Poster Contest, For Earth Day!
This post brought to you by the auspices of the Patty Dumpling Endowed Chair for Oil-Spill Blogging. Attention, Wonkrinis! The Beehive State is throwing an Earth Day poster contest, with the very excellent theme of “Where Would WE Be Without Oil, Gas & Mining?” and we know ever so many of you would like to [...]
Michelle Obama Does Topless Magazine Cover For Filthy Europeans
Here is the great news for those of us who have longed for some FLOTUS in our lives these past few days: Michelle Obama is involved in another scandal again, and surprise surprise, it involves Spain and France and being an African and, oh wait, NUDITY. And once our nation’s bucket hat-wearing slobs and zombie [...]
Wasilla Authorities Censor Giant Vagina
Local authorities in the exurban slush slum of Wasilla, Alaska, have taken direct action to stop a large, weird vagina from getting any additional media attention. The Mat-Su Frontiersman (?) reports: For Wasilla High School Principal Amy Spargo, she said she doesn’t view her decision to cover the sculpture as censorship. After receiving complaints from [...]
Wal-Mart’s Billions and the Art Museum of Cruelty: A Christmas Carol
Here is a number we’ve seen bouncing around this week that really makes us want to fire up the old Yule Log, in the sense that the “Yule Log” is a tightly bound human centipede of the richest hundred humans in America, lit on fire: The six heirs to the Wal-Mart fortune have about $93 [...]
Birther Who Described Orly Taitz’s Sex Parts Sells Nude Painting of Her
In an effort to keep yourself from vomiting, you should probably close your eyes as you read this post. Birther Lucas Smith, who was last seen in an affidavit claiming Orly Taitz asked him to perjure himself and also recounting another birther guy’s claims about the narrowness and viscosity of her womanly passages when she [...]
REVEALED: Homophobic Hag Who Attacked Gauguin’s Topless Ladies
The lunatic who attacked the Paul Gauguin masterpiece “Two Tahitian Women” screamed about her hatred of lesbians as she impotently pounded on the clear plastic cover protecting the post-impressionist portrait of a pair of topless Maori gals. The suspect, 53-year-old Susan Burns, screamed “This is very homosexual!” as she attacked the painting on exhibit at [...]
Pentagon’s $600K Toad Fairy Art Least Expensive Thing Pentagon Ever Bought
A $600,000 frog sculpture that lights up, gurgles “sounds of nature” and carries a 10-foot fairy girl on its back could soon be greeting Defense Department employees who plan to start working at the $700 million Mark Center in Alexandria, Va. this fall. That is unless a new controversy over the price tag of the [...]
Maine Governor Broke Law By Removing and Hiding Labor Mural
Teabagger-piglet Paul LePage, who somehow became governor of Maine this year despite winning just 38% of the vote, has been aggressively trying to destroy the public worker unions as per his instructions from the Tea Party (Koch Industries). Just to make sure everyone knew he was going to be an incredible jackass in this attack [...]
Maine’s New Teabagger Governor Axes Labor Mural From Dept. of Labor
Still don’t believe it’s a full-on war against workers? It is: “Gov. Paul LePage has ordered the removal of a 36-foot mural depicting Maine’s labor history from the lobby of the Department of Labor. Worker advocates described the move as a ‘mean-spirited’ provocation amid the administration’s high-tension standoff with unions.” LePage is the new GOP/Tea [...]
America’s Muslims To Redress Statue of Liberty, Put a Burqa On That Hussy
America’s new favorite Thomas Kinkade—a brave “fifth-year” art student at the Pratt Institute, is being CENSORED because his message is TOO TRUE and POLITICALLY INCORRECT for the sissie limp-wrists of the art world. [The New Criterion] Evil Muslims (is there any other kind of Muslim, really?) want to destroy the Statue of Liberty and turn [...]
Alabama: BBQ Restaurants ‘Safest’ Because Muslims Don’t Eat Pork
If any art form can truly be called American, it’s offensive text on the signboards of churches and places of business. The latest masterpiece comes to us from an electronic repair shop in the Florence for this kind of art, Alabama: “BBQ PORK RESTAURANT IS SAFEST NO MUSLIMS INSIDE SEWER CAM REPAIR.” That’s right, if [...]
Remembering Our Fallen Week: Giant Babies Invade Congress
Michele Bachmann and Steve King stood up for the antebellum south, who have been totally ignored since that runaway Kenyan slave became president. Perfect virgin Bristol Palin memorized some new vocabulary words to defend her honor against the ruler of Dictionopolis, Keith Olbermann. The elite state of science reporting was threatened by ignorant bloggers who [...]
National Portrait Gallery Removes Ant Crucifix Art After GOP Threats
The Smithsonian’s National Portrait Gallery has removed a video exhibit portraying the suffering of an AIDS victim because the Catholic League complained and John Boehner and Eric Cantor whined and threatened the institution’s funding. The video in question features a bit of footage of a crucifix sitting on a pile of dirt and ants, some [...]
Silvio Berlusconi Attaching Penises To Ancient Italian Statues, With Magnets
Italy’s culture ministry on Friday defended Premier Silvio Berlusconi for giving ancient marble statues in his office replacement body parts, to the horror of art restorers. The ministry, which is led by a close ally of the premier, said in a statement there’s no cause for alarm: The hand added to Venus and the penis [...]
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A Children’s Treasury of Sincere Comments Praising Wal-Mart
by Wonkette Jr.
Last week we mentioned that a half-dozen heirs to the Wal-Mart fortune own more than the 100,000,000 Americans at the wrong end of the U.S. Pyramid of Poverty, which is gigantic on the bottom and narrow in the middle and just a teeny tiny point on the top that controls all the wealth in this [...]