Tag: arson

This aggression against our nuts will not stand, man

Charming Oregon Militia Dudes Totally Harmless, Except For The Murderer Maybe

What up, revolutionary white dudes camped out in Oregon? You still doing that or did you run out of vegan jerky and that one granola bar? Oh, you are still doing that. Maybe you're enjoying all those free sex toys. That's...
Sheriff Ricky Gervais will leave the standoff briefly to host the Golden Globes

Bundy Militia Dudes Meet With Sheriff, Will Continue War With Feds For Now

Here's a heck of a surprise: The Bundy Bunch Armed Resistance And Glee Club has decided that, despite the local sheriff's offer to escort them safely out of Oregon, they'd prefer to continue squatting at the federal wildlife refuge...

White Armed Militia Dudes Are Human And They Need To Be Loved. Also Snacks

For the record, this is the exact moment when we lit'rally OMG SO DEAD DIED laughing at the gang of criming-while-white dudes who've barricaded themselves in a federally owned cabin in Oregon, with nothing but their wits and a bag of...
They're not even sure what they're arguing about anymore

Fox News: Armed White Militia Dudes Not Thugs Because Come On, You Guys

If you want a clear explanation of what all the militia hoopla in Burns, Oregon, is about, don't go reading comsymp mommyblogs. Look no further than Fox News, where we learn that the real reason for the armed takeover...
Not a smart man.

Fox News Hardly Mentions Bundys’ Latest Armed Standoff, Go Figure

So here we are in Day Three of the Bundy Bird Sanctuary Armed Standoff and not much has changed. The brave gun-fondling protectors of freedom are still holed up in a wildlife refuge in Oregon, law enforcement continues to give...

Ted Cruz Suddenly Has A Problem With Law-Breakin’ Freedom Fighters, Weird

Ted Cruz, America's greatest defender of True Patriots who know Big Government is not the boss of them, at least when it comes to the homosexbian stuff, has found the one battle against tyranny that makes his bacon-wrapped freedom pole go limp: Republican...
Why yes, we are mocking his abuse at the hands of a tyrannical federal government.

Who Are Oregon’s Wildlife Sanctuary Occupiers And What Do They Want?

Now that the news is infected with Bundys again, let's take a few minutes to bring you up to speed on some basics of this latest Armed Militia Patriot Idiocy Outbreak, in which an unknown number of morons with...
Good show guys.

Bundy Family, Sovereign Citizen Loons Have Special Constitution That Says They Can Steal All Our Sh*t

Oh, what a grand way to start an election year! With a bunch of militia loons holed up in a federally owned building, in defense of convicted criminals, demanding to start a new American Revolution against federal tyranny! It's...
May 2015 was like a whole century ago in Trump Time

Maybe Donald Trump Should Pay To Repair All These Mosques

It's been a busy seven days for people who want to protect America from the Muslim Threat! Since Donald Trump announced his completely impossible policy proposal to ban Muslims from entering the USA on December 7, there have been...
Yes, yes, it's from Fahrenheit 451, just roll with it

Second Planned Parenthood Hit By Arson In A Month. Those Videos Are Working!

Looks like the anti-Planned Parenthood hysteria is inspiring some fine Americans to make the world a safer place for fetuses by taking direct action. In Thousand Oaks, California, somebody tried to burn down a Planned Parenthood clinic. While initial...
Yes, we know none of the churches were in Mississippi. But YOU try finding a movie called 'Georgia,Tennessee, Florida and Both Carolinas Burning'

African American Churches Sure Burning Down A Lot, Probably War on Christians

This is a bad thing: Six African American churches have been burned, since the June 17 murders of nine people at Emanuel AME Church in Charleston, and arson is suspected in at least three of the fires. The FBI...

Michigan Hairdresser Burns Down Porn Shop For Jesus

We were just saying that we wanted to find a Funny to write about for Friday afternoon, and HERE is a funny for you. Actually, it is not all funny, because the owners of the Hollywood Nights porn shop...

Darrell Issa F**ks Up Contempt Charges Against Lois Lerner, Because He Is Bad At His Job

Crybaby car-robber firebug Darrell Issa sucks. We could really end this post right now, but you are probably wondering why we are writing again about the sucktastic exploits of the World’s Worst Arsonist-and-Car-Robber-(and Crybaby!)-Turned-Congressman. Well, here is why: House Oversight...

Derp Roundup: Your Weekly Cornucopia Of Creeps & Crazies

Welcome to another edition of Derp Roundup, the weekly feature where we take a good stiff metaphorical cleaning tool to our browser tabs, collect the stories that are too stupid to ignore altogether but not enough to deserve a...

Hero Pro-Life Arsonist Guy Apparently Just Wanted To Save Fetuses For Later Use

So let's say you are super against abortion, so you decide to light a whole bunch of women's clinics on fire, to save the babbies. But, after your prison bit for that (a cool dozen years in the federal...

Sun Rises In East, Darrell Issa Lies About It

We have let you down, Wonkeroos. It has been weeks -- WEEKS -- since we have brought you news of the Liarest Liar of all Liardom, Darrell Issa (R-Satan’s Scrotum). But fear not! He’s slithered out from whatever unholy...