arrests
Former Iraq Ambassador Ryan Crocker Arrested For DUI, Hit-And-Run
They say that astronauts become alcoholics after returning from space, because they were in space, which was better. This is perfectly analogous to the situation of former U.S. Ambassador Ryan Crocker — the man who SAVED IRAQ along with Gen. Petraeus and then… [somethinged] Afghanistan with Gen. Petraeus — who returned from seeing constant murder [...]
Mitt Romney, Homewrecker, Is ‘Other Man’ In 300-Pound Fellow’s Facebook-Love-Triangle Rage
FACEBOOK. And MITT ROMNEY. There they go again, putting people in JAIL. And all because the nice young man to the left did not like seeing tall, dark, and handsome Mitt Romney smiling his suave smile from the young man’s girlfriend’s Facebook page. So he smashed her computer into the wall and punched her in [...]
Illinois GOP Lawmaker Arrested in Animal Feed Bag-Related Incident
Illinois crazytime state lawmaker update alert newsbreak: GOP state Senator Suzi Schmidt, the curiously thrilled human pictured at left, was arrested for, uh, “damaging” an animal feed bag belonging to the neighbors and was later served with an “emergency stalking no contact order.” This is the same Suzi Schmidt who last year preemptively phoned 911 [...]
Why Is The Jack-Booted Government Arresting All These Nice White Supremacists?
Hello, it is called “freedom to assemble” and “freedom of association” and “freedom of speech” and “freedom to try to manufacture ricin” and it is IN THE CONSTITUTION, SHEEPLE. Why is the government illegally arresting all these various white supremacists just because they are trying to start a race war? Because Barack Obama wants your [...]
Oppressed Wall Streeters Do Not Care For These Mean Protesters
Here is video from Salon’s Justin Elliot of protesters having a merry little tussle this morning near the New York Stock Exchange, where cops have arrested as many as 75 protesters so far, for the crime of making it slightly more difficult for Wall Street employees to get to work, the most illegal thing in [...]
Occupation Dispatch #7: Mass Arrests & Total Craziness At Brooklyn Bridge
A full report is coming shortly (?) about today’s insanity on the Brooklyn Bridge, but in the meantime here’s a video … and then, after the jump, some Exclusive Wonkette Protest video your day editor shot on Friday.
Black Man Arrested, Fired From Job For Trying To Cash Large Check
Post-apocalyptic America has a few rules still, like “stay out of trailer parks at night,” and “personal mobility scooters are hilarious, in every context.” Did we have to say that? NO, on to the real issue: America also has some very awful rules, like “automatically assume a black man walking into a bank with a [...]
Evil Judge Removes All of the Nice Racism From Arizona Law
Oh look, actual news: Judge Susan Bolton of Federal District Court in Phoenix has blocked the most controversial parts of Arizona’s popular new immigration law right before it is to take effect, because she hates white people. Bolton has issued “a preliminary injunction against sections that called for police officers to check a person’s immigration [...]
Ex-Florida GOP Chair Arrested For Something Involving Large Sums Of Illegal Money
Former chair of the Florida Republican Party Jim Greer, most “famous” nationally for flipping out over Obama’s socialist plan to tell American children “education is good for you” on their first day of school last year, was “arrested Wednesday morning at his home, though charges against the disgraced chairman were not immediately available.” Indeed, anyone [...]
POTENTIAL SEASON TWO CAST MEMBER? “Gov. David Paterson’s 15-year-old son was arrested for possession of a stolen credit card after cops caught him shooting dice near his Upper West Side school, law enforcement sources confirm.” A textbook case of “boys will be boys,” to be sure. Hopefully he bought some cool shit before they caught [...]
*ALLEGED* Violent Rapey Sex Criminal Rod Jetton Dissolves Lobbying Firm
Former Missouri House Speaker Rod Jetton, who was arrested Monday night for allegedly beating the fucking shit out of a ladyfriend during a case of BDSM gone wrong — possibly because he had roofied her, which made it super hard for her to say “green balloons” during the fifth or sixth donkey punch and/or choking [...]
Everyone In New Jersey Arrested — Capitalism Now Illegal??
Were you in northern New Jersey this morning? Ha ha, now you are in jail, maybe! Seems the FBI arbitrarily decided that today would be a good day to just arrest every powerful person for their obvious, constant corruption crimes, and so they did, and now most mayors, rabbis, and “men from Brooklyn” are in [...]
New Details On Gates Arrest Make *Slightly* More Sense
One detail in the “famous Harvard professor whom even non-academics may have seen on that TV special with Oprah looked like scary intruder to neighbor” story that did not make sense was that part where the neighbor — the lady who called the cops was a neighbor — did not recognize the famous Harvard professor [...]
blog advertising is good for you
