June 19, 2013
Freedom, where have you gone? Why has careful gun steward Clark Aposhian had his weapon seized by notorious Second Amendment haters (Utah cops) just for, like, doing some domestic violence (ALLEGEDLY) at his ex and her husband, and being a total (ALLEGED) screamy violent psycho? And how is he supposed to do his dayjob of [...]
Oh, Air Force. Oh, Lieutenant Colonel Jeffrey Krusinski, chief of the Air Force’s sexual assault prevention and response branch. You have been arrested for (ALLEGEDLY) getting drunk and grabbing the tits and ass of a woman you did not even know in a parking lot. And yet it is in fact your job to prevent [...]
Welp, just finished up watching MAD BAMZ shame and scold and lecture and BULLY the United States Senate for kowtowing to the NRA — and Mad Bamz is, of course, our favorite Bamz, as he makes us feel less alone. (Fox, of course, didn’t run Bamz at all; you’d think they’d have jumped at the [...]
UPDATE! Now with video stolen from Mediaite! CNN, after spending almost an hour getting more and more frenzied while trumpeting its scoop that law enforcement had identified a suspect and had either arrested that suspect or were on the verge of arresting that suspect, just had the terrible misfortune of having to retract its entire [...]
Nevada Assemblyman Steven Brooks (a Democrat!) did not threaten to murder Nevada Speaker Marilyn Kirkpatrick with a loaded gun that he was carrying, said Nevada Assemblyman Steven Brooks. Instead, Nevada Speaker Marilyn Kirkpatrick is trying to kill him! What else should we know about Brooks’s interview with the Las Vegas Review-Journal? A) It was “disjointed.” [...]
Nevada Assemblyman Steven Brooks is in jail for threatening to shoot his fellow Democrat, Speaker Marilyn Kirkpatrick, with the loaded gun he was carrying. We are assuming this will be the first case of the NRA and Gun Owners of America agreeing that this law-abiding citizen should not have access to a gun!
Hey ladies! When we reported on Rand Paul’s drunky underage son’s pre-11 a.m. bout of airplane awesomeness, we somehow missed that he was also charged with assaulting a stew! Whoops!
What’s up, “William Hilton Paul,” if that even is your real name? (What, “Ramada” was taken?) Oh, you just got hauled off from the airport to the pokey for being too rad? Let us examine, together, your charges: When the plane landed about 10:49 a.m., Paul was charged with consuming beer/wine underage, disorderly conduct and [...]
Massachusetts has discovered a new place to try to hunt down its wanted criminals: the Rhode Island state legislature! It seems kind of obvious in retrospect, only because the Ocean State is kind of a sad, drug-addled dump from what we hear. Rep. Daniel Gordon Jr. was arrested in Rhode Island for failing to appear in Massachusetts [...]
Oh jeez we will have to rewrite this lede to cover the (allegedly!) drunken Democrats who will all be arrested in Hollywood every night until Jesus’ birthday and the New Year are safely behind us: “It’s the holiday season, which means the Northern Virginia suburbs Hollywood are is going to be particularly deadly until January [...]
It’s the holiday season, which means the Northern Virginia suburbs are going to be particularly deadly until January 3 or so, as Republican congresspeople and their drunken wives and rent boys wreak havoc on the icy suburban streets. Congratulations to Charlene Lugar, wife of Republican Senator Dick Lugar, for winning the “First of the Season” [...]
Everybody thought it was so awesome when President Obama invited over the hostile white cop and the indignant black professor for domestic beers at his house, but did you know he is not even letting these people inside? “‘[W]eather permitting, the three men will meet at a picnic table outside the Oval Office,” reports the [...]
As approximately 15 bajillion tipsters have excitedly emailed us, Sarah Palin’s daughter’s soon-to-be-baby-daddy’s mom has been arrested for something having to do with drugs. On the one hand, this is totally non-news, because trashy white ladies get arrested every day for — well, whatever Sherry Johnston was arrested for, nobody’s saying. Dealing pot? Cooking meth? [...]
A famous national Democratic leader, “State Sen. Derrick Shepherd, D-Marrero,” in Louisiana, has been arrested for … well, we can’t really figure out what for, exactly, but it involves lap dancers, in his house, plus maybe his mom and sister? Punching an ex-girlfriend in the stomach, after breaking into her house? Oh, and he is [...]
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