“I’m only 19 BUT as you can clearly see from my big red badge, I have an internship yanking the goose hairs off Congressman Blowhard’s back — you know, THE Congressman Blowhard? — So, my friends and I would like a pitcher of Poland Spring Vodka but you don’t need to bring extra glasses, a few straws will be fine. Wait, do you have Crazy Straws? YOU DO?!” [Spotted: DC Interns] MORE »

Wednesday, May 13: If you’re in the mood for an evening filled with drinking and debauchery, and you have no desire to watch the Caps game, check out the Beyond Happy Hour in the upstairs lounge of Skeweres and Cafe Luna.  From 6:30PM-11PM they offer great deals on beers, cocktails and martinis and DJ’s spin an interesting mix of electronic, house, techno, and hip-hop music. [Beyond] MORE »

Brunch buffets are usually overpriced hot plates of dried-up food sitting out all morning. Liberty Tavern, in Clarendon, is an exception. MORE »

Every store, bar and restaurant on Clarendon Boulevard reflects the fact that the Arlington is a total a bro town, except for one: Galaxy Hut. MORE »

This fantastic McCain Campaign fire sale doesn’t just provide gadgets and office supplies on the cheap — you can also buy enough Republican VIP personal information and incriminating emails to run your own failed presidential run! Local teevee station Fox 5 sent somebody over to the Everything Must Go sale, and while most of the good stuff was gone, there were still 10 Blackberry fancy-phones selling for $20 each. The teevee reporter bought as many as she could afford (two?) and raced back to the newsroom. MORE »

Wonkette hobo operative “Virginia” went all the way to a state called “Virginia” (??) to cash in on the McCain-Palin used junk firesale advertised here yesterday, and sends this note: “I got all the way here!! but the elevator won’t take me to floor ‘m’. I am proud of trek, but saddened by the end result. Any advice from that last tipster on how to get in?” …Stairs? Ha ha just kidding, that would be so exhausting. Poor Virginia!! Any other similar reports?

Yo bitches check out the details about this FIRESALE at McCain-Palin headquarters, according to a report from an anonymous operative in Virginia: “I just came back from the McCain-Palin regional headquarters in Arlington, VA. They are selling all of their office equipment - it was very depressing, but I did lay hands on a nice 19″ LCD screen for only $113!” More infoz after the jump! MORE »

Hey college kids, are you looking for an exciting internship opportunity that’s guaranteed to launch you into the successful career of your choice? If you answered “No,” then we’ve got the perfect dead-end solution: John McCain is looking for interns! In Arlington, Virginia! It’s unpaid, but don’t worry about that: if you display a basic competency in Microsoft Word — you understand how to change fonts when required, for example — you could be managing the campaign all by yourself within a matter of weeks! The forwarded job description e-mail, after the jump. MORE »

IT COULD HAPPEN TO YOU: “Pygmy Rattlesnake” jumps out of Arlington high school coach’s gym bag, sinks its venomous fangs into his hand, man goes to hospital, rattler frozen alive by firemen, South Carolina blamed. [WTOP]

Hey everybody, it’s a Wonkette Contest! Here’s the deal: Beloved blogger/author and Nobel/Pulitzer winner Dave Barry has a new one-man theater/comedy show that’s coming to GWU’s Lisner Auditorium. And two lucky Wonkette readers can go to the one-night-only February 6 performance for free. You can even bring somebody with you, if you know anyone. MORE »

Mongolian babies are invading Washington, D.C’s own sanctuary city of Arlingnton, Virginia. And apparently, that’s OK. In fact, the invasion is welcome. Because in Arlington, everyone is treated with dignity and respect, regardless of immigration status. So, Mongolian babies are safe. For now. Immigrants Haven’t Worn Out The Welcome Mat in Arlington [WP]