Tag Archives: arlen specter

  washington romance novels

Arlen Specter Has Creepy, Sexy Thoughts About Sarah Palin’s Knees

Poor old fart Arlen Specter spent thirty years ambling around the Senate floor sneaking up on slow-moving colleagues and torturing them with sermons on political moderation, so we expressed a duly moderate skepticism when the Huffington Post promised us the “steamiest moments” from Specter’s new memoir, about politics. Because, since when do Supreme Court nomination fights make anyone horny? (Quiet down, Chuck Grassley.) But okay, let us fap along to Arlen’s memories: “Still, she [Sarah Palin] was a total charmer, very friendly. The few things she said were intelligent. We were sitting virtually knee to knee in the cramped bus, and she radiated sensuality. Her skirt rode above her knees — not exactly short, but close.” GAH. Unfap! Unfap! Read more on Arlen Specter Has Creepy, Sexy Thoughts About Sarah Palin’s Knees…
  losers

Arlen Specter Manages To Complete Final Senate Speech Without Switching Parties

Arlen Specter, still talking, but for one last time: “The spectacular re-election of Senator Lisa Murkowski on a write-in vote in the Alaskan general election and the defeat of other Tea Party candidates in 2010 in general elections may show the way to counter right-wing extremists,” he said. “By bouncing back and winning, Senator Murkowski demonstrated that a moderate-centrist can win by informing and arousing the general electorate. Her victory proves that America still wants to be and can be governed by the center.” Read more on Arlen Specter Manages To Complete Final Senate Speech Without Switching Parties…
  good night sweet prince

Arlen Specter In News Headline For Last Time Before He Dies

Arlen Specter has an editorial in USA Today today (today) telling the world that he will vote to confirm Elena Kagan to the Supreme Court. The world, of course, does not care. Arlen Specter holds no power over Supreme Court nominations anymore, but even if he did, the news media has finally stopped covering Supreme Court hearings as they are nothing more than a boring marathon of trying to not say anything that means anything for days on end. But that doesn’t stop Arlen from trying to wow us with the amazing suspense of whether he will support his new party’s Supreme Court nominee or not. Read more on Arlen Specter In News Headline For Last Time Before He Dies…
  it's morning in america

Wonkette To Accept Chinese Buyout, Become ‘People’s Glorious Political Sexytime Humor Blog’

Oh, Elena Kagan confirmation hearings, you finished before you could even really get started! Where were your memorable moments, your lunatic grandstanding, your insights into softball strategy? All we have is some outraged testimony from some military guys saying that at Harvard Law Kagan made them “use the back door by the garbage” (i.e., by the gays). Looks like she’ll be confirmed, but with not many Republican votes, and maybe not with Specter’s vote either, since he thought her answers were “pure prepared pabulum” and not substantive like hearings used to be back in the day. Read more on Wonkette To Accept Chinese Buyout, Become ‘People’s Glorious Political Sexytime Humor Blog’… Read more on Wonkette To Accept Chinese Buyout, Become ‘People’s Glorious Political Sexytime Humor Blog’…
  watergate x 1 billion

Legal, Normal Political Dealing With Sestak Made Sleazy By Bill Clinton’s Involvement

Ha ha, how’d that “White House investigation” go, Barack? Pretty good, we bet: “It has been suggested that the Administration may have offered Congressman Sestak the position of Secretary of the Navy in the hope that he would accept the offer and abandon a Senate candidacy. This is false.” Hooray! But what about the other thing, the part everybody’s actually jabbering about? “The White House Chief of Staff enlisted the support of former President Clinton who agreed to raise with Congressman Sestak options of service on a Presidential or other Senior Executive Branch Advisory Board. Congressman Sestak declined the suggested alternatives, remaining committed to his Senate candidacy.” Who is reporting this made-up sleaze? Oh, the White House counsel? Okay. Read more on Legal, Normal Political Dealing With Sestak Made Sleazy By Bill Clinton’s Involvement…
  the new nixon

Obama Won’t Answer Simple Yes-Or-No Question About Sestak Offer

Did the White House offer Joe Sestak an administration job in exchange for dropping his Senate primary run against Arlen Specter? Very simple yes/no question, “Yes” for “Yes we did,” and “No” for “No we didn’t.” Easy? Guess not. Some reporter (New York Times?) just asked Barack Obama, in a very clear and simple question, whether or not Sestak was offered a sweet-ass appointment in exchange for letting a 400-year-old Republican win the Democratic primary in Pennsylvania. And Obama said … nothing. Read more on Obama Won’t Answer Simple Yes-Or-No Question About Sestak Offer…
  the *real* watergate

Are Obama And All Democrats Going To Jail Because Joe Sestak Got Floated A Job Offer?

Richest member of Congress and vicious fraud-clown Rep. Darrell Issa has been going on for months about how he will investigate claims of the White House offering Joe Sestak an administration job — Secretary of the Navy? — to not run against Arlen Specter in this year’s primary. (Sestak very wisely turned this down, and now he has a 50-50 shot of becoming a powerful back-bench junior member of the world’s most dysfunctional and useless governing body!) But the thing that doesn’t make sense about this is, let’s see, who the hell cares at all? Besides the Washington Post editorial board? Read more on Are Obama And All Democrats Going To Jail Because Joe Sestak Got Floated A Job Offer?…
  that'll show 'em

SOMEONE’S GOT SENIORITIS REAL BAD: Oh, hey, check out who was one of the two Senate Democrats who didn’t bother showing up for last night’s financial reform vote! HA HA VOTING ON THINGS IS FOR PEOPLE WHO GIVE A SHIT (and haven’t had their hearts broken by a fickle electorate, boo hoo). The other Dem absentee was Robert Byrd, who may well have died weeks ago for all we know. Specter’s surly, petulant absence required who knows what last-minute desperate promises to Chuck Grassley, the only non-New England Republican to vote for the bill. (A ban on criticism of Twitter misspellings? Sure, let’s say that.) UPDATE: Smarty-pants commentor “rafflesinc” points out that Specter and Byrd were there for the cloture vote, which Grassley voted against. Christ, the Senate is confusing. I suppose the two of them just decided that since passage was assured they’d just go out behind the Capitol and do lines of Dutch Cleanser off the sidewalk. [NYT] Read more on …
  ha ha get it it's a girl's name

ALSO, UH, THAILAND IS HAVING A CIVIL WAR? EH, BORING: Here’s the BBC news front page from earlier this morning, as sent in by a sharp-eyed Wonkette reader. Those cheeky Brits did some kind of trans-Atlantic gender reassignment surgery on ol’ Arlen Specter! (When pressed, they will blame this on “volcanic ash.”) Would Pennsylvanians have been more likely to have voted for a cranky, wizened, party-switching lady? We’ll never know now. Read more on …
  it's morning in america

Someone Left My Aged Party-Switching Senator Out In The Rain

As a stunned America begins to prepare itself for an Arlen Specter-free future, we all must ask ourselves: What killed Arlen Specter? Pennsylvania Governor Ed Rendell knows! “‘The rain killed Arlen,’ Mr. Rendell said dejectedly. ‘Whatever chance he had went down with the rain.'” It is a well-known fact that old people shouldn’t go out in the rain, because they are prone to catch pneumonia and/or lose primaries. But was there more to Arlen Specter’s defeat? Read more on Someone Left My Aged Party-Switching Senator Out In The Rain… Read more on Someone Left My Aged Party-Switching Senator Out In The Rain…
  philadelphia phmackdown

SESTAK WINS: The AP has called it for Sestak, and now Arlen Specter’s political career is over. Shows him for switching sides and getting big Democratic legislation through! But whatever. Congratulations to Joe Sestak for “taking down the Establishment,” by just saying that Arlen Specter used to be a Republican, in response to everything. Oh god Chris Matthews looks MISERABLE. Read more on …
  bellwethers of our time

Liveblogging Part III of the Season Finale of Arlen Specter

Well, this will go down in Liveblogging History as “the night we shouldn’t have bothered,” but what the hell, let’s wrap it up. This liveblog will continue until ALL THE VOTES ARE COUNTED, or when we go to bed, whichever comes first. Meanwhile: Is Lost Island all a hologram? Only Jim Newell knows for sure. He loves this show! Your editor has never seen it, but read a blog or whatever the other day suggesting that the hit show of LOST is actually a ripoff of Philip K. Dick’s alternate-world sci-fi literature and also the old computer game, Myst, which does rhyme with LOST. Anyway, Rand Paul won with 59% of the hillbilly GOP vote, someone named “Gritz” or whatever seems to be winning something in Pennsylvania, and nobody will say the Truth about Arlen Specter because he’s so gosh-darned old nobody wants to bum out his feelings. Read more on Liveblogging Part III of the Season Finale of Arlen Specter…
  establishment lost

Still Liveblogging Arlen Specter And Joe Sestak’s ‘Lost’ Battle, And The Other One Too, Arkansas

Will the Liberty Bell ring thrice for old Arlen Specter, who illegally became a Democrat last year but is still on the loose? Or will Joe Sestak smash Specter’s head in a Dutch Oven and then refuse to clean it? Will this liveblog be over by 9 o’clock so your editor can watch the second-to-last episode of this terrible ABC Island Horror show that he for some reason is still watching? Yes, yes, and yes. Let’s see what folks are saying on the television. Oh great, Mark Halperin on CNN. (Mark Halperin used to have a terrible show on ABC, too, called “The Note.” Now someone else does that!) Read more on Still Liveblogging Arlen Specter And Joe Sestak’s ‘Lost’ Battle, And The Other One Too, Arkansas…
  america votes in pennsylvania 2010

Arlen Specter Demonstrates Youthful Energy With Strange Old-Person Insults

Democratic polls close in Pennslyvania at 8 o’clock. The big question on MSNBC earlier today, from Andrea Mitchell, was can Arlen Specter even stay awake that late? A question of that nature, at least, to which Specter replied, “If you talk about Sestak being more vigorous, you must be smoking Dutch cleanser.” Can’t Specter just win the primary for saying that epic thing? Read more on Arlen Specter Demonstrates Youthful Energy With Strange Old-Person Insults…
  america's worst tragedies

Arlen Specter May Lose Next Week, Because Of Angry Hippies

Primary season is underway like hotcakes! Next week, the “very hyped” Democratic Senate primary race between Arlen Specter and Rep. Joe Sestak will reach its terrifying conclusion, and the old man appears to be on his way to a loss. It doesn’t help him now, either, that Sestak is going around yapping about how Specter voted against Elena Kagan’s confirmation as Solicitor General last year, when he was a Republican, even though no one on the left really likes Elena Kagan anyway. Then again, do any voters really care about Arlen Specter’s vote in a mid-major confirmation process last year, when they’re currently unemployed? Read more on Arlen Specter May Lose Next Week, Because Of Angry Hippies…
  whaaaa?

Arlen Specter Maybe Not So Much Of A Loser After All

Arlen Specter is such a loser he would do anything to win, such as RADICALLY shifting his positions from those of a liberal Republican to a conservative Democrat! Just so that he could stay a senator, which offers zero perks except the secret underground supertrain! For a while it looked like he was going to get slaughtered at the polls by perennial enemy Pat Toomey, but now maybe not so much, because of Polling Science. Read more on Arlen Specter Maybe Not So Much Of A Loser After All…
  uhh... racism?

Nice Lady May Finally Be Confirmed For Job After Ten Months

Looky-pants! One of the 575 bajillion executive branch appointees that Republicans have kept nice ‘n’ filibustered for the past year, Dawn Johnsen for head of the Justice Department’s Office of Legal Counsel (a.k.a. TORTURE MEMO SCRIBBLER ACTION FORCE), may finally make it through the freaking Senate now after Barack Obama’s re-appointment. Read more on Nice Lady May Finally Be Confirmed For Job After Ten Months…
  rumors on the internets

Jesus Died For You, But He Totally Could Have Put You In A Headlock If He Hadn’t

If the Phillies win the World Series, Charles Schumer will give Arlen Specter a cheesecake and Kristen Gillibrand. BUT, if the Phillies lose the World Series, Charles Schumer will give Arlen Specter Kristen Gillibrand. Quite the wager. [The Caucus] Read more on Jesus Died For You, But He Totally Could Have Put You In A Headlock If He Hadn’t…
  terrible news

Evil Liberal Bloggers Strain Grassley, Specter Friendship, On Twitter

The clone armies of Markos Molasses, Matt “David” Yglesias and others are still in Pittsburgh playing grab-ass with the supposed racist Bill Clinton at this year’s Netroots Nation conference. What the dickens are they hoping to achieve? Well this morning, during an address from former Republican sack o’ cancer Arlen Specter, they were able to get the Pennsylvania senator to prank-call and prank-Twitter his old friend Chuck Grassley — who is now furious! Does it make your day to know that you’ve RUINED a friendship, communist bloggers? Because it would make ours. Read more on Evil Liberal Bloggers Strain Grassley, Specter Friendship, On Twitter…
  let's please end medicare!

Oh Please Health-Care Jesus Stop Televising the Racist Old People

For 25 horrifying minutes, CNN has been broadcasting awful old white people yelling at another awful old white person (Arlen Specter) about the African who is going to (hopefully) euthanize all the awful old white people, and how the white American god will soon “stand before” Specter and other senators and representatives, and kill them. Read more on Oh Please Health-Care Jesus Stop Televising the Racist Old People…
  rumors on the internets

‘Tora! Tora! Tora!’ Barack Obama’s Torpedo Sneak Attack Thwarted By Squadron Leader Palin

Ding ding ding! Whatever you’re doing right now, stop doing it, and call your congresspersons! Don’t let the blue dogs kill this historic piece of legislation. [Think Progress] RedState caption contest! Can you think of a clever caption for the famous Norman Rockwell painting, Barack Obama torpedoes Hawaii (1941)? [RedState] Read more on ‘Tora! Tora! Tora!’ Barack Obama’s Torpedo Sneak Attack Thwarted By Squadron Leader Palin…