• If the Phillies win the World Series, Charles Schumer will give Arlen Specter a cheesecake and Kristen Gillibrand. BUT, if the Phillies lose the World Series, Charles Schumer will give Arlen Specter Kristen Gillibrand. Quite the wager. [The Caucus]
• Remember that part in the Bible — Chapter 3? — when Jesus decides to clothesline a downtrodden leper, who only wanted a glass of water and maybe a few soothing words to ease his suffering? That was really out of character, but a superb plot twist. [True/Slant: Harmon Leon]
• Gorbachev talks about the Nobel Peace Prize, Barack Obama, and his upcoming solo album. [The Cable]
• You have every right to be angry that Columbia students made a very offensive rap about FOX news, but at least be happy that you are not flushing $80,000 down the toilet in J-school. [Gatway Pundit]
• Hezbollah cooked up a two-ton bowl of hummus and then invited the entire Middle East to the grandest hummus party in recorded history, while Israel — who for obvious reasons was not invited — sat at home and sulked. [Matt Yglesias]

• Heavens to Betsy! Illegal immigrants are trying to steal Lou Dobbs’s job! [True/Slant: Marcelo Ballve]
• HE DID IT. He did it. Matt finished Infinite Jest, the novel. He read all of it. And he did not care for it. [Matt Yglesias]
• Barack Obama will create a special death panel for your beer. [TPM]
• Web 2.0 is here! And Jesus Christ, it sounds hella boring. [The Caucus]
• Arlen Specter is a rotten traitor! Where to begin? Okay, first of all: he switched sides with Benedict Arnold during the Revolutionary War. And then he helped the Russians build Sputnik. And then he attacked the USS Cole. And then he defected to the Democrats. Enough is enough. Boo Arlen! Yay Toomey! [RedState]

The clone armies of Markos Molasses, Matt “David” Yglesias and others are still in Pittsburgh playing grab-ass with the supposed racist Bill Clinton at this year’s Netroots Nation conference. What the dickens are they hoping to achieve? Well this morning, during an address from former Republican sack o’ cancer Arlen Specter, they were able to get the Pennsylvania senator to prank-call and prank-Twitter his old friend Chuck Grassley — who is now furious! Does it make your day to know that you’ve RUINED a friendship, communist bloggers? Because it would make ours. MORE »

For 25 horrifying minutes, CNN has been broadcasting awful old white people yelling at another awful old white person (Arlen Specter) about the African who is going to (hopefully) euthanize all the awful old white people, and how the white American god will soon “stand before” Specter and other senators and representatives, and kill them. MORE »

• Ding ding ding! Whatever you’re doing right now, stop doing it, and call your congresspersons! Don’t let the blue dogs kill this historic piece of legislation. [Think Progress]
• RedState caption contest! Can you think of a clever caption for the famous Norman Rockwell painting, Barack Obama torpedoes Hawaii (1941)? [RedState]
• David Vitter has accused Congressman Charlie Melancon of being “soft on whores.” Louisiana deserves better! [TPM]
• Arlen Specter can talk the Democrat talk, but can he walk the Democrat walk? Apparently yes, 97% of the time. Impressive. But will Arlen still be able to walk that well, after Barack Obama breaks his leg? Unlikely. [AMERICAblog]
• California is poor. How poor? Panning-for-gold-at-Sutter’s-Mill poor. But they’re not the first state to issue IOUs written on toilet paper! During the roaring ’30s, a lot of states had their own special peso-currency. [Hit & Run]

Catfight, Pennsylvania-style! Several months ago, Arlen Specter made the very principled and selfless decision to switch parties so as to avoid an ugly primary battle with a “real Republican,” which is to say, a vicious and crazed wingnut who would win the GOP nomination and then lose the election to any Democratic candidate short of a goat. It was the perfect plan: Specter could stay in the Senate, as Democrat, as long as nobody ran against him in that party’s primary. MORE »

What a fantastic spring it’s been in DC, what with the terrible muggy spell in early May, and now there’s nothing but terrible swampy grossness ahead! Fortunately, DC’s “celebrities” can be spotted both in- and out of doors, where they engage in elite activities such as air travel, grocery shopping, lunching, and even watching sports events. After the jump: Find out which famous politician hums loudly to himself in public bathrooms.

Ever been waiting around to pick up your deli sandwich or your luggage or collect your mail or whatever, and you see some very put-together man or lady giving you the eye like they would like to take you up to Eliot Spitzer’s room at the Mayflower? It’s probably one of those terrible people you’ve seen on O’Reilly’s show talking about the sanctity of post-marital sex. Tell us about these encounters, and other more boring encounters please! Write to tips@wonkette with subject line “Wonk’d.” MORE »

That President Obama sure knows how to throw a party! Last night he entertained 250 of his favorite famous friends, plus “the entire Avant family” which we have never heard of, at a swank Beverly Hills fundraiser that featured coked-out midgets on swings and flying horse tricks. MORE »

Noooo this is not fair to poor Arlen Specter, who debased and humiliated himself by switching over to the Democrat party and cavorting with filthy hedonists like Earth, Wind and Fire in exchange for a permanent Senate sinecure. In fact Joe Biden agreed to personally mash the reproductive organs of anybody who dared mount a primary campaign against Specter. But looky here, Democratic Rep. Joe Sestak is apparently writing fundraising letters to his “dear supporters” to let them know that yes, he intends to run for the Senate against Specter. Scandal! [TPM DC]

Arlen Specter, what’s up with that guy, right. He’s a Democrat now! And being a Democrat means you have to do terrible abortion things in Hollywood, all the time, with Muslims: “Sen. Arlen Specter (D-PA) will make his debut appearance this evening at a national Dem event since switching parties. Specter will join Pres. Obama at the Beverly Hilton in LA for a DNC fundraiser… It marks his first outing with Obama — and with Jennifer Hudson, we should note. The Academy Award winner will sing at the event. As will Earth, Wind and Fire.” And it only costs $1,000 to $2,500 to attend! Or if you’re super rich like Tom Cruise and the famous Movie Stars, there’s “another dinner” for, uh, $30,400 (but it’s a DEAL because that’s the PER COUPLE price.) [Hotline]

WHY? Why, Tom? Why do you refuse to run for the Senate when you have already served in the House and as governor of Pennsylvania and even the First Dauphin of the Terrorism Rainbow? Because, says Tom, this was “a difficult personal decision.” Well, that clears it up! [MSNBC]