What a fantastic spring it’s been in DC, what with the terrible muggy spell in early May, and now there’s nothing but terrible swampy grossness ahead! Fortunately, DC’s “celebrities” can be spotted both in- and out of doors, where they engage in elite activities such as air travel, grocery shopping, lunching, and even watching sports events. After the jump: Find out which famous politician hums loudly to himself in public bathrooms.

Ever been waiting around to pick up your deli sandwich or your luggage or collect your mail or whatever, and you see some very put-together man or lady giving you the eye like they would like to take you up to Eliot Spitzer’s room at the Mayflower? It’s probably one of those terrible people you’ve seen on O’Reilly’s show talking about the sanctity of post-marital sex. Tell us about these encounters, and other more boring encounters please! Write to tips@wonkette with subject line “Wonk’d.” MORE »

That President Obama sure knows how to throw a party! Last night he entertained 250 of his favorite famous friends, plus “the entire Avant family” which we have never heard of, at a swank Beverly Hills fundraiser that featured coked-out midgets on swings and flying horse tricks. MORE »

Noooo this is not fair to poor Arlen Specter, who debased and humiliated himself by switching over to the Democrat party and cavorting with filthy hedonists like Earth, Wind and Fire in exchange for a permanent Senate sinecure. In fact Joe Biden agreed to personally mash the reproductive organs of anybody who dared mount a primary campaign against Specter. But looky here, Democratic Rep. Joe Sestak is apparently writing fundraising letters to his “dear supporters” to let them know that yes, he intends to run for the Senate against Specter. Scandal! [TPM DC]

Arlen Specter, what’s up with that guy, right. He’s a Democrat now! And being a Democrat means you have to do terrible abortion things in Hollywood, all the time, with Muslims: “Sen. Arlen Specter (D-PA) will make his debut appearance this evening at a national Dem event since switching parties. Specter will join Pres. Obama at the Beverly Hilton in LA for a DNC fundraiser… It marks his first outing with Obama — and with Jennifer Hudson, we should note. The Academy Award winner will sing at the event. As will Earth, Wind and Fire.” And it only costs $1,000 to $2,500 to attend! Or if you’re super rich like Tom Cruise and the famous Movie Stars, there’s “another dinner” for, uh, $30,400 (but it’s a DEAL because that’s the PER COUPLE price.) [Hotline]

WHY? Why, Tom? Why do you refuse to run for the Senate when you have already served in the House and as governor of Pennsylvania and even the First Dauphin of the Terrorism Rainbow? Because, says Tom, this was “a difficult personal decision.” Well, that clears it up! [MSNBC]

• TOM RIDGE ALSO TOO SCARED OF PENNSYLVANIA REPUBLICANS: The few Republicans who actually want to have representation in the United States Senate are screwed yet again, as their best chance in the 2010 Pa. Senate general election, popular moderate abortion lover Tom Ridge, will not run. As with Arlen Specter, Ridge was shown trailing the “Real American” candidate Pat Toomey in potential primary match-up polls, so why even bother with that shit. [Ben Smith]

• VENGEANCE IS BRIEF: Arlen Specter, the Senate’s littlest Democrat, has been promised the chairmanship of the Crime and Drugs Subcommittee after the 2010 election. Dick Durbin currently holds the position, which he’ll give up anyway to chair “a newly restored human rights subcommittee,” which was dissolved because everybody on it was too busy to ever go to meetings. The point is this: Specter, in a year and a half, will get to preside over a Judiciary subcommittee, in the hopes that he will not angrily sink President Obama’s Supreme Court nominee this summer. [Washington Post]

Senator Arlen Specter, the newly minted Democrat from Pennsylvania, is officially one of the most junior members of the five Senate committees he sits on, even though he’s a million and a half years old and has spent a million of those years as a senator. The Senate voted unanimously to strip him of his 30 years of seniority accumulated as a Republican because, ha, he is not a Republican anymore. MORE »

Ha ha the very liberal Arlen Specter wants Norm Coleman to fight it out, up there in Minnesota! He tells the New York Times, “There’s still time for the Minnesota courts to do justice and declare Norm Coleman the winner.” Hmm not really. Libtards are going nuts about how Arlen Specter isn’t saying everything the Democratic leadership wants him to say. But who gives a shit what Arlen Specter says about Norm Coleman? Party hacks, everywhere. UPDATE: HAHAHA, Arlen Specter was really just making a Jew joke. [TPM]

Oklahoma Sen. Jim Inhofe is a maniacal anti-science oil-eating death ogre, a.k.a. the smartest person in the Republican Party, except for Ronald Reagan and, hmm, Michael Goldfarb. He is so brilliant at life that the liberal New York Times invited him to weigh in on its discussion blog, “Room For Debate,” about the possible repeal of Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell. Instead of writing about this issue, however, he just threw down some hot-shit psychobabble about Arlen Specter that makes no sense at all to us, the idiots. MORE »

• AWFUL DEMOCRATS WILL NOT IMMEDIATELY CROWN ARLEN SPECTER: It seems some psychopaths in the Left Wing didn’t get the fucking memo (as shouted by Joe Biden) that NO ONE IS TO RUN AGAINST ARLEN SPECTER for the 2010 Democratic nomination for the Senate, and now Glenn Greenwald has something new to go insane over. [NYT/The Caucus]