arlen specter
Arlen Specter Has Creepy, Sexy Thoughts About Sarah Palin’s Knees
Poor old fart Arlen Specter spent thirty years ambling around the Senate floor sneaking up on slow-moving colleagues and torturing them with sermons on political moderation, so we expressed a duly moderate skepticism when the Huffington Post promised us the “steamiest moments” from Specter’s new memoir, about politics. Because, since when do Supreme Court nomination [...]
Arlen Specter Manages To Complete Final Senate Speech Without Switching Parties
Arlen Specter, still talking, but for one last time: “The spectacular re-election of Senator Lisa Murkowski on a write-in vote in the Alaskan general election and the defeat of other Tea Party candidates in 2010 in general elections may show the way to counter right-wing extremists,” he said. “By bouncing back and winning, Senator Murkowski [...]
Arlen Specter In News Headline For Last Time Before He Dies
Arlen Specter has an editorial in USA Today today (today) telling the world that he will vote to confirm Elena Kagan to the Supreme Court. The world, of course, does not care. Arlen Specter holds no power over Supreme Court nominations anymore, but even if he did, the news media has finally stopped covering Supreme [...]
Wonkette To Accept Chinese Buyout, Become ‘People’s Glorious Political Sexytime Humor Blog’
Oh, Elena Kagan confirmation hearings, you finished before you could even really get started! Where were your memorable moments, your lunatic grandstanding, your insights into softball strategy? All we have is some outraged testimony from some military guys saying that at Harvard Law Kagan made them “use the back door by the garbage” (i.e., by [...]
SOMEONE’S GOT SENIORITIS REAL BAD: Oh, hey, check out who was one of the two Senate Democrats who didn’t bother showing up for last night’s financial reform vote! HA HA VOTING ON THINGS IS FOR PEOPLE WHO GIVE A SHIT (and haven’t had their hearts broken by a fickle electorate, boo hoo). The other Dem [...]
ALSO, UH, THAILAND IS HAVING A CIVIL WAR? EH, BORING: Here’s the BBC news front page from earlier this morning, as sent in by a sharp-eyed Wonkette reader. Those cheeky Brits did some kind of trans-Atlantic gender reassignment surgery on ol’ Arlen Specter! (When pressed, they will blame this on “volcanic ash.”) Would Pennsylvanians have [...]
Someone Left My Aged Party-Switching Senator Out In The Rain
As a stunned America begins to prepare itself for an Arlen Specter-free future, we all must ask ourselves: What killed Arlen Specter? Pennsylvania Governor Ed Rendell knows! “‘The rain killed Arlen,’ Mr. Rendell said dejectedly. ‘Whatever chance he had went down with the rain.’” It is a well-known fact that old people shouldn’t go out [...]
SESTAK WINS: The AP has called it for Sestak, and now Arlen Specter’s political career is over. Shows him for switching sides and getting big Democratic legislation through! But whatever. Congratulations to Joe Sestak for “taking down the Establishment,” by just saying that Arlen Specter used to be a Republican, in response to everything. Oh [...]
Liveblogging Part III of the Season Finale of Arlen Specter
Well, this will go down in Liveblogging History as “the night we shouldn’t have bothered,” but what the hell, let’s wrap it up. This liveblog will continue until ALL THE VOTES ARE COUNTED, or when we go to bed, whichever comes first. Meanwhile: Is Lost Island all a hologram? Only Jim Newell knows for sure. [...]
Still Liveblogging Arlen Specter And Joe Sestak’s ‘Lost’ Battle, And The Other One Too, Arkansas
Will the Liberty Bell ring thrice for old Arlen Specter, who illegally became a Democrat last year but is still on the loose? Or will Joe Sestak smash Specter’s head in a Dutch Oven and then refuse to clean it? Will this liveblog be over by 9 o’clock so your editor can watch the second-to-last [...]
Arlen Specter Demonstrates Youthful Energy With Strange Old-Person Insults
Democratic polls close in Pennslyvania at 8 o’clock. The big question on MSNBC earlier today, from Andrea Mitchell, was can Arlen Specter even stay awake that late? A question of that nature, at least, to which Specter replied, “If you talk about Sestak being more vigorous, you must be smoking Dutch cleanser.” Can’t Specter just [...]
Arlen Specter May Lose Next Week, Because Of Angry Hippies
Primary season is underway like hotcakes! Next week, the “very hyped” Democratic Senate primary race between Arlen Specter and Rep. Joe Sestak will reach its terrifying conclusion, and the old man appears to be on his way to a loss. It doesn’t help him now, either, that Sestak is going around yapping about how Specter [...]
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