Tag Archives: arkansas

  Here have some news n stuff

Senate Can’t Find Time To Get Anything Done, Goes On Spring Break For Two Weeks

Homer Simpson for Senate Majority Leader?
Being a member of Congress really is the sweetest gig. You can suck at your job, get nothing done at all, collect a six-figure salary plus great benefits, and then take a vacation, because hey, you just worked so hard at not getting anything done, you’ve earned that break. Again: Read more on Senate Can’t Find Time To Get Anything Done, Goes On Spring Break For Two Weeks…
  Nice state you've got there -- shame if something were to happen to it

Corporations And Celebrities Agree: Anti-Gay Indiana Can Get Bent

On Thursday, wingnut Indiana Gov. Mike Pence signed his state’s Fuck The Gays bill into law, which basically says that as long as your religion tells you Jesus’s first and only question on Judgment Day will be “and how many of my gay children did you personally abuse?”, you are free to use those beliefs to deny LGBT people service and accommodations in the forgotten, godforsaken state of Indiana. Gov. Pence did so because apparently the threat of losing tourism dollars and business is less important than making sure nobody forces Aunt Lurlene to bake a pie for a fag. This is called Religious Freedom, and it is somehow what this great nation was founded upon, according to idiots. Read more on Corporations And Celebrities Agree: Anti-Gay Indiana Can Get Bent…
  he sounds nice

The Gentleman From Arkansas Will Give Poor Women IUDs To Stop Birthing Trash

She just needed a breather to think about her life choices
You are not going to believe it, but there is a very conservative Republican state representative in Arkansas who wants to give taxpayer-funded birth control to ladies. Hooray and high-five, fellow feminazis, we have won the war at last! Let us now live in our misandrist matriarchal utopia happily ever after, the end. Read more on The Gentleman From Arkansas Will Give Poor Women IUDs To Stop Birthing Trash…
  There's No Place Like Rehome

Justin Harris Diddles Kids’ Welfare Committee, Must ‘Rehome’ It To Better Vice-Chairman

He Stopped Making Sense long ago
Get out your hip boots and emesis basins, because it’s time for more news about horrifying human/pond scum hybrid Justin Harris, the Arkansas state representative who “rehomed” two adopted daughters with Eric Francis, a guy who raped one of them shortly before her sixth birthday. But despair not! Today’s Justin Harris news only involves him abusing power, not children, so it’s all good! Read more on Justin Harris Diddles Kids’ Welfare Committee, Must ‘Rehome’ It To Better Vice-Chairman…
  grab that cash with both hands and make a stash

Child-Regifting Job Creator Justin Harris Got $4 Million In Tax Funds For Jesus Pre-School

These big David Byrne suits dont' just grow on trees, you know.
Hey, we bet you’d like to read a story about sleazy child-regifting monster Justin Harris that isn’t about his sleazy child regifting for a change, wouldn’t you? Lord knows we have plenty of those already, and the whole sordid mess isn’t nearly finished playing itself out. Instead, let’s learn a bit more about Justin Harris, the small-government entrepreneur who says that government never created a single job — no, really, he said that — and who liked to brag in campaign ads about all the jobs he created at his “Growing God’s Kingdom” preschool in West Fork, Arkansas. Turns out he and his wife, Marsha, had a little help creating those jobs! Read more on Child-Regifting Job Creator Justin Harris Got $4 Million In Tax Funds For Jesus Pre-School…
  fingerpointing blamegame

Who’s To Blame For Godly Justin Harris Dumping His ‘Demonic’ Kids? People Like You

A member of the truth-challenged community
Everybody is being pretty mean to Justin Harris, the Arkansas state representative who just wanted to help some children have a good home and family, and show them some love and tenderness and stability before he decided that since even an exorcism couldn’t make them behave, they were way too much trouble, and so he “rehomed” them with a man who rapes children. They are saying really, REALLY mean things. They are saying things like “put him in jail” and “put him in jail forever” and “what a bad father” and “he should really resign” and also things that would get them banned from the comments section several times over for “violent ideation,” so we will pretend they did not say them. Read more on Who’s To Blame For Godly Justin Harris Dumping His ‘Demonic’ Kids? People Like You…
  Tom Cotton for president

GOP’s Letter Totally Worked, Iran Will Do Whatever They Say Now

We sure showed 'em
Good job, Senate Republicans (and honorary Senators Rick Perry and Bobby Jindal, of course). You did it! You full on told Iran what is what, with your “cheeky” HI-larious letter Sternly Worded Letter, and now Iran is going to do whatever you say, since you warned them they’d better not do any deals with President Obama or else you will say some mean words! Read more on GOP’s Letter Totally Worked, Iran Will Do Whatever They Say Now…
  the best and the brightest

The Long And Dickish History Of Tom Cotton (R-Dick)

Skinny-necked fuckwit Sen. Tom Cotton has gotten all sorts of press lately for his lame audition to write for Wonkette. Luckily there is a whole archive of Cotton’s writing online over at the Harvard Crimson, where the newest prominent example of American psychopathy served on the editorial board during his tender undergrad years in the late 1990s. Based on his work, Cotton seems to have been just as much of a callow, narrow-minded, jingoistic, chest-thumping, self-righteous, brain-dead cretin as he is today. The difference is that he went back to his native Arkansas and got a whole bunch of like-minded hog-fucking idiot cretins to elect him to be America’s most important voice on foreign policy. See, this is what happens when you have a president dumb enough to want to keep the Union together. Read more on The Long And Dickish History Of Tom Cotton (R-Dick)…
  Parental Rites

Ark. Rep. Justin Harris Had Daughters’ Demons ‘Exorcised’ Before ‘Rehoming’ Them With A Rapist

The power of Derp compels him
The sad, ugly saga of Justin Harris and the “rehoming” of his two adopted daughters just morphed into a B-movie horror flick. According to several people who knew the Harrises, the super-Christian Arkansas state rep. and his wife, Marsha, believed the young girls were possessed by demons and hired “specialists” to drive Satan from the children’s tiny bodies. They also kept their six-year-old adoptive daughter locked and isolated in her toyless room with just a video camera to watch her so she couldn’t “communicate telepathically” with her four-year-old sister. Read more on Ark. Rep. Justin Harris Had Daughters’ Demons ‘Exorcised’ Before ‘Rehoming’ Them With A Rapist…
  Monumental Stupidity

Shiny 10 Commandments Sure To Distract Arkansas From Godly ‘Rehoming’ Kid-Dumper Guy

They totally used these sets again in Star Trek, didn't they?
Hey, how about we take a short break from the loathsome child-abandoning Arkansas state Rep. Justin Harris, so we can bring you another completely different loathsome member of the Arkansas House, state Rep. Jason Rapert? Mr. Rapert apparently worries that there might be some folks out there who haven’t heard of the Ten Commandments, so he’s helpfully introduced a bill to place a big ol’ Ten Commandments monument on the grounds of the Arkansas Capitol. You know, for purely secular reasons (wink-wink-wink!): Read more on Shiny 10 Commandments Sure To Distract Arkansas From Godly ‘Rehoming’ Kid-Dumper Guy…
  Arkansas Unraveler

Girls’ Foster Parents Not Impressed With Kid-Dumping AR Rep Justin Harris’s Sob Story

A member of the truth-challenged community
The bizarre story of Arkansas state Rep. Justin Harris and his decision to “rehome” his two adopted daughters with a family friend and employee, Eric Francis, who later raped one of the girls, continued to unfold in High Weird Mode over the weekend. Following his press conference Friday, Harris gave a 35-minute interview to Drew Petrimoulx of TV station KARK in which he continued to place most of the blame for the troubled adoption on the Arkansas Department of Human Services (DHS) and, continued to insist that the children were so seriously emotionally disturbed that they put his entire family in danger. Read more on Girls’ Foster Parents Not Impressed With Kid-Dumping AR Rep Justin Harris’s Sob Story…
  The Christian Lawmaker And The Devil Children

Kid-Dumper AR Rep Justin Harris So SO Sorry … That DHS Screwed Him And His Family (Video)

Marsha and Justin Harris
  After the older of his two adopted daughters — at the mature age of six — was raped by the man to whom he had “rehomed” her, Arkansas state Rep. Justin Harris (R – “God’s Kingdom”) gave a press conference today to attempt to justify it. (He did not attempt to justify the rape, by family friend Eric Francis, to whom he had turned over his two adopted daughters in late 2013; he merely attempted to justify the rest of it.) Harris started by “clarifying” that “the victims here are the children,” since the country and the Internet did not take well to his sad claim yesterday that it was he and his wife who had “suffered a severe injustice.” While the girls were “the real victims,” he back-pedaled, he and his wife had been “failed” by the Department of Human Services, which is really to blame. Read more on Kid-Dumper AR Rep Justin Harris So SO Sorry … That DHS Screwed Him And His Family (Video)…
  Won't Someone Please Think Of The Neglectful Parents?

Justin Harris Had To Abandon 6-Year-Old Daughter Before She Ax-Murdered Whole Family

Ugly doesn't begin to describe these. The sweaters are pretty bad, too
Here’s your morning update on Arkansas state Rep. Justin Harris, who naturally had excellent reasons for giving up on his two adopted daughters and “rehoming” them with another family in 2013. Harris issued a statement late Thursday to explain that he and his wife, Marsha, are the real victims here. Oh, yes, in addition to that unfortunate business with his 6-year-old daughter getting raped by Eric Francis, the man they “rehomed” the girls with. My, yes, that was sad. Read more on Justin Harris Had To Abandon 6-Year-Old Daughter Before She Ax-Murdered Whole Family…
  Ordinary Everyday Small-Government Advocate & Tax Leech

Let’s Meet Justin Harris, The Arkansas House’s Godly Child-Abandoner

These big David Byrne suits dont' just grow on trees, you know.
Yesterday we introduced you to the honorable Justin Harris, a proud Republican member of the Arkansas House of Representatives, who kinda-sorta hid from the public the fact that he’d adopted two little girls out of foster care, tired of them after a year in his home, and given them to another family to raise. The other family wasn’t so great, seeing as how the new adoptive father, Eric Francis, raped the older of the girls, all of six years old. Francis had also briefly taught at the Christian daycare owned by Harris and his wife, “Growing God’s Kingdom Preschool,” and when the news of the sexual assault broke last year, that was the only connection Harris admitted publicly; the Arkansas Times broke the full story this week. It’s a horrible story, and the more we find out about Rep. Harris, the more charming he seems. Read more on Let’s Meet Justin Harris, The Arkansas House’s Godly Child-Abandoner…
  That's Not What 'Suffer The Children' Means

Arkansas State Rep Probably Had Good Reason For Giving Adopted Daughter To Guy Who Raped Her

Rep. Harris speaks fluent Godly
Arkansas state Rep. Justin Harris seems like a pretty godly kind of guy. Last week, the Republican from West Fork, Arkansas, was very sad when the House Education Committee voted down a bill he’d introduced to ban schools from punishing children for religious expression, like to protect kids from atheist teachers who put them in detention for saying “bless you” after a sneeze. Coincidentally, Harris and his wife, Marsha, happen to run a preschool called the “Growing God’s Kingdom Preschool,” where they teach kids how to be good and godly. Read more on Arkansas State Rep Probably Had Good Reason For Giving Adopted Daughter To Guy Who Raped Her…
  Born Arky sneering at you from just the other side of the Mississippi

Arkansas Does Not Need Your Gay Business, Gays!

Oh, we are SNEERING at our home state of Arkansas right now, so hard. You see, we grew up in Little Rock during the days of Bill Clinton, back when Arkansas was Democrat Tuff, in a very blue dog way of course, but never mind. Now it’s been overrun by the same extremist wingnuts who have taken over state legislatures and governors’ mansions all over the South and beyond, with all the stupid that naturally follows those takeovers. Right now, Arkansas is ready to let a horrid, stupid bill become law, SB 202, wherein towns and hamlets and cozy, scenic criks will be banned from passing ordinances protecting LGBT citizens from discrimination. Why this big government intrusion from Little Rock? Because, of course, gays are gross, and we have to protect reg’lar Arkansans from the “chaos” that would ensue if LGBT people were treated equally: Read more on Arkansas Does Not Need Your Gay Business, Gays!…
 

Judge To Obama: Stop Letting In All Those Immigrants Who Are Already Here!

Screw you, huddled masses
Wednesday was supposed to be the day President Obama officially rolled out the Kenyan welcome mat for all them illegals who’ve already snuck across our border to infect us with diseases and their strange foreign languages. But oh no, you can un-unfurl that Hispanic flag over the White House, Mr. Thinks He’s So President, because United States District Judge Andrew S. Hanen has put a stop to that nonsense, at least for now. Read more on Judge To Obama: Stop Letting In All Those Immigrants Who Are Already Here!…
  How I Learned To Start Worrying Again

Arkansas State Senator: Liberals Love ISIS So Much They Don’t Even Want Nuclear War

EEEEEeeeeeeee haaaaaaaaaw
Arkansas state Sen. Jason Rapert posted an excellent idea to the Facebook for how to beat ISIS once and for all: Just nuke them! What could possibly go wrong? After all, everyone agrees that they’re evil and need to be stopped, so Let’s Drop The Big One Now! Here’s his post — or at least his original version of the post: Read more on Arkansas State Senator: Liberals Love ISIS So Much They Don’t Even Want Nuclear War…
  Does Maureen McDonnell Know About This Amazing Product?

Jackbooted CPS Thugs Remove Kids From Wingnut Home Over Dad’s Snake Oil Cure-All

Poor kids!
Planet Wingnut is in quite a lather this week over the decision by Arkansas child protection authorities to remove seven children from their parents’ home in Hot Springs after deputies found quantities of a bogus “miracle cure” in the house. State and Garland County officials served a warrant at the home of Hal and Michelle Stanley Monday and removed the children after finding “Miracle Mineral Solution” (MMS), a “nutritional supplement” sold as a cure-all for cancer, AIDS, malaria, the common cold, and pretty much everything else. The FDA warns that the substance can cause serious health problems. Read more on Jackbooted CPS Thugs Remove Kids From Wingnut Home Over Dad’s Snake Oil Cure-All…
  An Act Of Face

Supreme Court Says Muslim Inmate Can Grow Beard, Sharia Law Now In Effect

America now officially over
Get ready for another round of whining about “creeping Sharia,” America. The Supreme Court has ruled that an Arkansas prisoner can grow a beard because he’s a Muslim. The justices said that inmate Gregory Holt could maintain a half-inch beard because Arkansas prison officials could not substantiate claims that the beard posed a security risk. Read more on Supreme Court Says Muslim Inmate Can Grow Beard, Sharia Law Now In Effect…