Tag Archives: arkansas

  Aren't you jealous of IBM?

IBM Punches Gov. Bobby Jindal In Scrotum Sac Over Gay-Hating Executive Order

Which one is the face he makes when he gets punched in the dick? ALL OF THEM KATIE.
You are probably so excited about this post, because the mere idea of ANY person, place or thing punching Louisiana Gov. Bobby Jindal in the nuts — metaphorically, of course — brings unfettered joy into the hearts of all patriotic Americans. Last month, Jindal was reeling from the fact that the Louisiana legislature wasn’t willing to heap embarrassment upon the state, by passing a fake “religious freedom” law, similar to the Fuck The Gays laws that passed, and were subsequently gutted by big business and butthurt Republicans, in Arkansas and Indiana. But because Jindal is probably the stupidest governor in US America (and also thinks he has a shot in hell of winning the GOP presidential nomination LOL), he decided to go ahead and issue an executive order, saying that Louisiana is TOO the Fuck The Gays state, and not just in the fun sexy way that happens in New Orleans. Read more on IBM Punches Gov. Bobby Jindal In Scrotum Sac Over Gay-Hating Executive Order…
  Dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb

Big Banks Won’t Stop Cramming Homosexuals Down Franklin Graham’s Throat

Jesus loves the little children, unless they're super-duper gay. SING ALONG!
Poor persecuted Franklin Graham, insane wingnut son of evangelist Billy Graham and president of his daddy’s association, saw a Wells Fargo ad on the teevee, and the ad had lesbians in it, and this shall not stand! So he took his mad right to the Facebook and announced what he was gonna do: close the Billy Graham Evangelistic Association’s Wells Fargo accounts (because he controls them now that his dad is 96) and move them to a better, more gay-hatey bank: Read more on Big Banks Won’t Stop Cramming Homosexuals Down Franklin Graham’s Throat…
  New investigation maybe?

What Are Dumb Duggars Trying To Hide Now?

Terrible people
If your family was once famous for making babies all day long, every day, for Jesus, but now it’s known as that sick reality TV star family that covered up the oldest son’s repeated sexual molestation of his kid sisters, you know what you should definitely NOT do? You should definitely NOT refuse to cooperate with a fresh new investigation into your family. But apparently the Duggar Homeschool Textbook of Homeschooling doesn’t cover that. Read more on What Are Dumb Duggars Trying To Hide Now?…
  You'll have nothing and who cares if you like it?

Fifth Circuit Protects Texas Ladies From ‘Unsafe’ Abortions By Letting Them Have None At All

You didn't want those clinics, did you?
Good thing Texas-Americans of the lady persuasion are accustomed by now to courts opening and closing their abortion clinics, so they won’t be shocked when most of their clinics are shut down again. In the epic, years-long legal battle to decide whether and how and when abortion providers may provide abortions in Texas, a three-judge panel of the Fifth Circuit Court of Appeals issued an opinion Tuesday saying, basically, “How about never? Is never good for you? TOO BAD!” Read more on Fifth Circuit Protects Texas Ladies From ‘Unsafe’ Abortions By Letting Them Have None At All…
  NSFW because Huckabee

Mike Huckabee Wants You To Know He’s Still Mighty Proud To Be A-Hole

Not sorry one bit
Grinning sack of deep-fried squirrel meat Mike Huckabee is a jerk and a pervert, and he’s damn proud of that, mister. Damn proud. Last week, we learned about his EWWWWWW GROSS fantasies of pretending to be transgender in high school, to sneak into the girls’ locker room and ogle their lady privates, like a pervert, HAW HAW. Read more on Mike Huckabee Wants You To Know He’s Still Mighty Proud To Be A-Hole…
  Point and laugh at the Arkansas idiot

Arkansas Senator Dude Tired Of Homos Parading About During Sunday Church Services

Jason Rapert points at homosexuals.
Arkansas state Sen. Jason Rapert has had thoughts again! We last heard from him when he was helpfully trying to get a Ten Commandments monument constructed on the grounds of the Arkansas state capitol, for “historical reasons,” because, like, all of our judicial system is based on those ten suggestions. (DUH.) Well, this week, he’s pissed off about the fags and fag-adjacents (read: lesbians) who decided, for the 12TH YEAR IN A ROW, to hold the Conway, Arkansas, gay pride parade on a Sunday, because he knows those gays picked that day in order to persecute godly Bible-believers like Rapert, who simply wish to get to church on Sunday unscathed by glitter or joy. Rapert logged on to the Facebook to tell us all how the gays hurt him in his no-no parts. Let’s mock him: Read more on Arkansas Senator Dude Tired Of Homos Parading About During Sunday Church Services…
  softball interviews

The Duggar Interview: Why Won’t The Liberal Media Stop Molesting Our Kids?

But Jesus forgave us!
Did you watch the EXCLUSIVE Megyn Kelly interview with Jim Bob and Michelle Duggar last night? The one where Megyn Kelly said she wasn’t going to give them some sort of interrogation about how their son Josh molested his sisters, because hey, look over there, Bill Clinton? If you have been living inside a rock, all you need to know is that Josh Duggar, eldest son of Jim Bob and Michelle, molested five girls, including four of his sisters, starting when he was a teenager. One of his victims was 5 years old at the time. His parents did very little in the way of reporting the crimes, and everybody has been forgiven by Jesus now, HALLELU! Read more on The Duggar Interview: Why Won’t The Liberal Media Stop Molesting Our Kids?…
  gross

Duggars Could Have Been Jailed For Ignoring Josh Duggar’s Three Sister-Touching Confessions

Was 19 Kids And Counting also the name of Josh Duggar's bucket list?
In Touch Weekly is doing the journalism again, having obtained ANOTHER police report through a Freedom Of Information Act request, pertaining to young Josh Duggar’s sister touching. A lot of it rehashes what we already know, but we get a couple of new, specific details, to help us all put a fine point on how grossed out we are by this. For one thing, the report states that Jim Bob and Michelle Duggar were told not only by their daughters, but by Josh himself, on three separate occasions, that he just couldn’t stop fondling his sisters –one of whom was only five years old — in their beds at night. And his parents still waited 16 MONTHS to do anything about it, even after being told “multiple times.” The new report claims Ma and Pa were just shrugging it off all those times Josh told them, “I am so sorry, for I have fallen short and diddled your younger girl children once again.” What did they say, those “multiple times?” “Oh, Josh, we’ve told you TIME AND TIME AGAIN. The only girl you’re allowed to diddle against her will is your Christian Wife, when you are older. You’re GROUNDED from homeschool, for a week!” Read more on Duggars Could Have Been Jailed For Ignoring Josh Duggar’s Three Sister-Touching Confessions…
  Trigger warning for Mike Huckabee's fantasies

Mike Huckabee’s Secret Trans Fantasy: High School Sex Boobies For Everyone!

Let us tell you our sex fantasies.
Hahaha, you know what’s funny, you guys? Transgender people! At least, if you are Mike Huckabee or any of the dildo-brained malcontents who respect him. Back in February, Huckabee spoke to the National Religious Broadcasters Convention, but WorldNetDaily just uploaded the video to its YouTube account, so now we get to see it! Huckabee’s speech was about, of course, “religious freedom!” and how Christianity is under attack from all corners. And of course, some of those attackers are transgender people, who would like to use the restroom please. Of course, since Huckabee and like-minded wingnuts are equal parts stupid and bigoted, the scientific reality of transgender people is reduced to “I wanna pretend I’m a lady so I can go in the girls’ locker room and see the boobies!” Read more on Mike Huckabee’s Secret Trans Fantasy: High School Sex Boobies For Everyone!…
  Not One Of These People Is A Duggar Either

Arkansas Family Values Rep Who Regifted Children To A Rapist Still Sure He’s The Victim

Still has that Derp in the headlights look
In with all the excitement around gross child-bad-touchers Josh Duggar (admittedly) and Dennis Hastert (allegedly), we also got an update late last week on terrible human being and Arkansas state Rep. Justin Harris (R-Ewww), the super-Christiany guy who adopted two little girls, then “rehomed” them with a friend and employee who would later go on to rape one of the girls. After the initial flurry of reporting and OMG/WTF stories about Harris, the Arkansas Times has kept on the story, and published a substantial follow-up on Harris Friday. And what do we learn? Justin Harris is still a big Jesusbag in the Arkansas House, he voted himself a pay raise, and as of right now, it sure looks like he’s not going to face any consequences for discarding a couple of adopted children. Maybe he’ll manage to lose in 2016. He’s still quite certain that he’s done nothing wrong; when he returned to Twitter after a few months — with his messages only available to approved followers, of course — he posted a couple of lines from Psalms 37:12-13 to make it clear that He Will Survive: Read more on Arkansas Family Values Rep Who Regifted Children To A Rapist Still Sure He’s The Victim…
  let's gossip about the week's top stories

If The Duggars Love Hobby Lobby So Much, They Should Gay Marry It. Your Weekly Top Ten.

Let's buy pipe cleaners. Kids like pipe cleaners.
Happy Sunday, you scrappy weasels. We hope you had a nice week, enjoying all the gross news yr Wonkette had to report, because all the news was just terrible and gross and bad. We thought we had our fill of kid-touching stories with Josh Duggar, but then Denny Hastert came in and was like ME TOO, I TOUCHED KIDS TOO. ALLEGEDLY. So it’s time to take a look see at the top ten stories of the week, as chosen by you, the wise Wonkers. Read more on If The Duggars Love Hobby Lobby So Much, They Should Gay Marry It. Your Weekly Top Ten….
  bless their dumbass hearts

Fox & Friends: Hillary Clinton Can’t Talk Southern, She Only Lived In Arkansas 18 Years!

One dipshit, two dipshit, three dipshit ...
Let’s Make A Stupid about Hillary Clinton, with the cast of teevee’s Fox & Friends. You see, Wednesday, Hillary Clinton spoke in South Carolina, and not only did she make a joke about how her hair won’t go white in the White House, because she’s been coloring it for years (it was actually pretty funny!), but she said it in a Southern accent, FAKER!!!! She also said that she ate chicken and waffles, which is an obvious lie because Hillary Clinton only eats at Chipotle, and she doesn’t tip. The Fox & Friends couch … well, let’s just say her accent confused them very much. Read more on Fox & Friends: Hillary Clinton Can’t Talk Southern, She Only Lived In Arkansas 18 Years!…
  let's all throw up together some more

Sister-Molester Josh Duggar Sued Arkansas DHS, Probably For Calling Him A Sister-Molester

Tell us about the abused, neglected kids, Josh.
BREAKING NEWS! There was a missing detail in the accepted timeline of events surrounding Josh Duggar’s molestation of five girls, including four of his sisters. As we previously understood, the sex-criming happened in 2002 and 2003, the Duggars reported it to a “family friend” cop in 2003 (who turned out to be a pedophile), and it was officially investigated in 2006. At that time, there was no chance of Josh being prosecuted, because, even with Arkansas’s extended statute of limitations, the original pedo-bear officer in 2003 had done nothing about the allegations besides give the young boy a “stern talk,” so the statute of limitations was expired. Oops, technicality, end of story, right? APPARENTLY NOT! Read more on Sister-Molester Josh Duggar Sued Arkansas DHS, Probably For Calling Him A Sister-Molester…
  Officer Entirely Too Friendly

Thanks To Pedophile Cop Pal, Sister-Touching Josh Duggar Will Never Be Prosecuted. Thanks Cop Pal!

Hotline? What hotline?
So here’s a twist on the Josh Duggar Saga of Shame and Grossness that’s just become clear: Back in 2006, when the Arkansas Department of Human Services was contacted by an anonymous tipster and the family was interviewed by law enforcement, it would have been possible to prosecute young Josh for the offenses that he’d allegedly committed against his sisters in 2002, because Arkansas has an extended statute of limitations on sex crimes against minors. There’s just one catch: that extended statute of limitations only applies in cases where the abuse has never been reported to law enforcement. And as we all know far more than we wish we did, the Duggar family did report the alleged abuse to a member of the Arkansas law enforcement community in 2003, a year after it occurred. Conveniently enough, they reported it to a good personal friend, Corporal Joseph T. Hutchens of the Arkansas State Police, the guy who gave young Josh a “stern talking-to” — and apparently never reported the alleged abuse any further. Read more on Thanks To Pedophile Cop Pal, Sister-Touching Josh Duggar Will Never Be Prosecuted. Thanks Cop Pal!…
  But what about the Bible story about the prodigal son?

Jim Bob Duggar: Incesters Like My Oldest Boy Should Be Put To Death

Dad's gonna KILL me when he finds out what I did LOL
HERE IS A JUICY THING. Way back in 2002, when Jim Bob Duggar was running in the Republican primary for the U.S. Senate (and losing), the part of his campaign website labeled “abortion” said that no, ladies should not be allowed to abort their rape babies, but the rapist should be killed. Oh, and also that the “heinous crime” of incest should be a capital crime as well. Look what Defamer duggared up: Read more on Jim Bob Duggar: Incesters Like My Oldest Boy Should Be Put To Death…
  everybody in this story is the villain

Guess Who’s Mixed Up In Duggar Family Sex Crimes Now? Hobby Lobby, Of Course!

Terrible people
According to the official police report, after Josh Duggar’s parents found out he was molesting his sisters, and they spent a year doing NOTHING about it, Jim Bob Duggar sent his son for counseling with a “family friend” who was renovating a building in Little Rock, Arkansas. It turns out the program Josh went to was the Basic Life Principles Training Center, led by none other than Duggar family BFF Bill Gothard, the creepy man who, as your Wonkette reported Sunday, “coincidentally has been accused of sexual abuse and harassment by more than 30 teenage girls.” Gothard’s Advanced Training Institute (ATI), the homeschooling cult the Duggars love so much, teaches, among other things, that little girls who get sexually abused probably share some of the blame, for being gross and naked sometimes. Read more on Guess Who’s Mixed Up In Duggar Family Sex Crimes Now? Hobby Lobby, Of Course!…
  here comes honey oh fuck it

TLC Pulls Gross Duggars Off The Air Because Honey Boo Boo’s Mom Wanted Equal Molesting Time

18 kids and the rapey one
It would seem that TLC, which revels in taking weird, fucked up people and making them teevee stars, isn’t too keen on sex criming kids. They cancelled Here Comes Honey Boo Boo after it was revealed that the show’s matriarch, Mama June, was shacking up with a dude that child-molested one of her kids. And now TLC has pulled all scheduled airings of 19 Kids And Counting, after revelations that Josh Duggar molested his sisters. We don’t know if TLC is looking for a new slogan, but Wonkette is willing to sell them “Standards: They’re Low, But We Have Them!” for $100,000. Read more on TLC Pulls Gross Duggars Off The Air Because Honey Boo Boo’s Mom Wanted Equal Molesting Time…
  redemption stories

Huckabee: That Duggar Boy Made A Mistake, Just Like When My Son Murdered That Dog

You STAY in her lap, where you're safe.
Expressions of wingnut support for Josh Duggar and his molesty past are starting to drip in, now that they’ve remembered that the focus of the narrative is REDEMPTION, because they have Jesus and you don’t. They are saved, you are going to hell. They can fuck kids, and you don’t fuck kids in the first place, but they said sorry to God, so ALL BETTER. Read more on Huckabee: That Duggar Boy Made A Mistake, Just Like When My Son Murdered That Dog…
  When You're In A Hole Stop Dugging

Hey, Remember All The Times Those Duggars Warned Us How Evil Gays Threaten Children?

Dirty sex crimer or just a asshole?
Now that gross admitted child molester Josh Duggar has been outed as a gross hypocrite who molested his own sisters, we thought it might be useful to bring you a quick recap of some of the Duggar family’s noteworthy warnings about the Evils Of Homosexuality, which is a threat to YOUR FAMILY. Read more on Hey, Remember All The Times Those Duggars Warned Us How Evil Gays Threaten Children?…
  Like On A Trail You Know?

Boy Scouts President Says Gay Scout Leaders Just Fine, Haters Can Take A Hike

It will look just like this.
Hurray, we have a Nice Time, and it is about the Boy Scouts! If you search your noggin, you’ll remember way back in 2013, when the entire Boy Scouts of America (BSA) got homosexual agendaed, because they lifted the ban on gay scouts, but kept the ban in place for adult members of the organization. Despite the fact that we are talking about KIDS, this did not stop religious right goons like Bryan Fischer and Kevin Swanson from making juvenile rage jokes about sodomy badges and also Boy Scouts’ firm young buttocks, because Bryan Fischer and Kevin Swanson probably need professional help. Read more on Boy Scouts President Says Gay Scout Leaders Just Fine, Haters Can Take A Hike…
  Fuckabee if you're nasty

Mike Huckabee Will Be President Of Making All The Ladies Stop Saying Gay Cusses!

Gonna teach America some manners again!
Former Arkansas governor and current traditional values hall monitor Mike Huckabee announced his candidacy for the Republican nomination for president today in Hope, Arkansas, because he is from there, just like Bill Clinton! The theme of the day was “going from Hope to Higher Ground,” because using “hope” as a theme has never been done before, by a presidential candidate from Hope, Arkansas. There was nice uplifting music, like that Tony Orlando stuff Huckabee loves, and quite unlike that whore Beyoncé music the Obamas love, which Mike Huckabee knows is from the devil. Unfortunately, Ted Nugent was not there to help Huckabee sing about bitches’ pussies, BY WHICH WE MEAN KITTY CATS. Read more on Mike Huckabee Will Be President Of Making All The Ladies Stop Saying Gay Cusses!…
  also something something about transgender people using the bathroom

Serial Rapist Says Gays Are THE WORST

On May 12, voters in Eureka Springs, Arkansas, will vote on whether to repeal Ordinance 2223, an anti-discrimination measure protecting LGBT people. And of course, there is a group of pastors and assorted wingnuts who want to make sure their little oasis is protected from the scourge of gays, throat-cramming everybody with their “lifestyles” and their “marriages,” and from the transgender people, who insist on going to the bathroom, so they can do sexually predatory things to innocent women and girls. Read more on Serial Rapist Says Gays Are THE WORST…