arizona

Well HI Arizona, what are you doing to be the greatest state in the union today? In one corner, we have Louisiana, which allows your child to learn about the Loch Ness monster in science class (except if your child is Islamic, and thus doesn’t deserve to learn about the Loch Ness monster), and in another [...]

Samuel Wurzelbacher emitted one of his periodic publicity-grunts the other day while campaigning in Prescott AZ for Republican state House candidate and pointing-guns-at-people enthusiast Lori Klein. Since the self-designated Raging Id of Conservative America found himself in Arizona, he apparently thought it a good location to say something inflamatory about Mexicans, so he said this: [...]

So, this guy. Drivin’ up in his Prius, bursting with joy and righteousness about his purpose-driven life of haughtily lecturing minimum wage workers who should be ashamed of themselves for daring to have a job at a place that gives corporate donations dude does not agree with. And then, at the end, explaining to the [...]

Hello Arizona, how many children are you going to save from the whims of their cruel, ignorant, feminist, baby-murdering mothers? Answer: none! Or maybe: a lot! It’s tough to say, because U.S. District Judge James Teilborg is confident that abortion restrictions after 20 weeks of pregnancy will not really lead to less abortions but Maricopa [...]

Well, you finally found a dead voter besides the one James O’Keefe found, who wasn’t actually dead. But sad face, that is because your candidate for Pinal County, Arizona, supervisor, was voting for his dead girlfriend for five years. Oops. John Enright, a Republican running for Supervisor of Pinal County, Arizona, ended his campaign on [...]

O HAI JOHN MCCAIN! Sometimes you seem to understand that your party (AND YOU) have thrown in your lot with a bunch of neo-Nazi troglodytes of terror. And then usually you go right back to cynically exploiting these dumb biddies and their lunatic leaders for your own political gain. Hey that’s just how it is, [...]

Why is our socialist Kenyan Marxist Muslim president being so NEGATIVE, hmm? The richest 1% of Americans are doing great! Corporate profits are at an all time high! It should be champagne and caviar for EVERYONE but NO, Obama is insisting on talking about something called the “Middle Class.” Of course, as Senator Jon Kyl (R-Arizona) [...]

You could say a lot of things about the words of former Arizona state senator Russell Pearce, the lead sponsor of SB 1070, the ol’ “get ridda the browns” law. Most of them have something to do with racism. None of them resemble “consoling” or “reasonable.” So when he issued a statement about the Dark [...]

When South Carolina defunds services for rape victims, Florida closes its only TB hospital during a TB epidemic, and Pennsylvania says voter suppression is happy news, either Arizona or Texas has to be next in the rotation. No idea what madness Texas will pull today, but Arizona is appealing to the US Supreme Court to [...]

And here is a fine how-de-ye-do, as word slips out of Arizona that Raul Castro, a 96-year-old former governor and ambassador to everywhere and apparently tyrannical dictator of Cuba as well, was detained by the Border Patrol in hundred-degree heat outside Nogales for being a nuclear terrorist. Oh but he’d had a service done on [...]

The Supreme Court conducted a vile smear against the noble state of Arizona today by shooting down most of SB 1070, the law that restricts illegal Mexicans from existing. Our old pal Antonin Scalia, writing the dissenting opinion, simply didn’t care for his peers’ decision. As Scalia sees it, states = sovereign, so states can [...]

The big decision we’ve all been waiting for is finally in: “The Supreme Court ruled Monday that it is unconstitutional for states to require juveniles convicted of murder to be sentenced to life in prison without possibility of parole.” DOWN WITH THE COURT. Then what’s the point of waking up in the morning, now? “Monday’s [...]

Listen to that honeyed voice, belonging to one Barbara Espinosa, a sweet old grandma type who loves nothing more than to go on her radio show, “Hair on Fire,” and say things about how she voted for the white guy and how she doesn’t call Obama “the first black president” but prefers to call him [...]

Top Arizona horse’s ass Russell Pearce, the former state Senator known for his awkward testicle jokes and his authorship of the state’s anti-immigration law that codified higher levels of skin pigmentation as a form of suspicious behavior, was rejected by two Mexican restaurants in Phoenix upon trying to hold a fundraiser at each to help [...]

Sad news from Arizona. Menacing idiot Jesse Kelly has lost the special election to replace Gabby Giffords in the House. Giffords’ former district director, Ron Barber — who was also injured the day Giffords was shot — will serve the remaining six months of her term. Luckily, the next election is only six months away! [...]


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