arizona
Hero Gov Jan Brewer Protects Arizona From Scourge Of DREAM Act Kids Getting Drivers Licenses
Well HI Arizona, what are you doing to be the greatest state in the union today? In one corner, we have Louisiana, which allows your child to learn about the Loch Ness monster in science class (except if your child is Islamic, and thus doesn’t deserve to learn about the Loch Ness monster), and in another [...]
‘Joe’ The ‘Plumber’ Will Shoot All Your Mexicans For You, Arizona
Samuel Wurzelbacher emitted one of his periodic publicity-grunts the other day while campaigning in Prescott AZ for Republican state House candidate and pointing-guns-at-people enthusiast Lori Klein. Since the self-designated Raging Id of Conservative America found himself in Arizona, he apparently thought it a good location to say something inflamatory about Mexicans, so he said this: [...]
Breaking News: A Liberal Acted Like A Total Jerk
So, this guy. Drivin’ up in his Prius, bursting with joy and righteousness about his purpose-driven life of haughtily lecturing minimum wage workers who should be ashamed of themselves for daring to have a job at a place that gives corporate donations dude does not agree with. And then, at the end, explaining to the [...]
Arizona Republicans Manage To Combine Wars On Women, Math
Hello Arizona, how many children are you going to save from the whims of their cruel, ignorant, feminist, baby-murdering mothers? Answer: none! Or maybe: a lot! It’s tough to say, because U.S. District Judge James Teilborg is confident that abortion restrictions after 20 weeks of pregnancy will not really lead to less abortions but Maricopa [...]
Good Job, Republicans, You Finally Found A Dead Voter!
Well, you finally found a dead voter besides the one James O’Keefe found, who wasn’t actually dead. But sad face, that is because your candidate for Pinal County, Arizona, supervisor, was voting for his dead girlfriend for five years. Oops. John Enright, a Republican running for Supervisor of Pinal County, Arizona, ended his campaign on [...]
Calm, Judicious Tea Partier Seeks Total Recall Of Traitor Muslim-Lover John McCain
O HAI JOHN MCCAIN! Sometimes you seem to understand that your party (AND YOU) have thrown in your lot with a bunch of neo-Nazi troglodytes of terror. And then usually you go right back to cynically exploiting these dumb biddies and their lunatic leaders for your own political gain. Hey that’s just how it is, [...]
Dark Knight Shooting Victims Practically Shot Themselves, Says Prominent Arizona Idiot
You could say a lot of things about the words of former Arizona state senator Russell Pearce, the lead sponsor of SB 1070, the ol’ “get ridda the browns” law. Most of them have something to do with racism. None of them resemble “consoling” or “reasonable.” So when he issued a statement about the Dark [...]
Arizona: Cutting Domestic Partner Benefits Can’t Be Anti-Gay Because We Hate Straight Unmarrieds Too
When South Carolina defunds services for rape victims, Florida closes its only TB hospital during a TB epidemic, and Pennsylvania says voter suppression is happy news, either Arizona or Texas has to be next in the rotation. No idea what madness Texas will pull today, but Arizona is appealing to the US Supreme Court to [...]
Do Not Be Brown In Arizona Even If You Are The 96-Year-Old Former Governor, Obviously
And here is a fine how-de-ye-do, as word slips out of Arizona that Raul Castro, a 96-year-old former governor and ambassador to everywhere and apparently tyrannical dictator of Cuba as well, was detained by the Border Patrol in hundred-degree heat outside Nogales for being a nuclear terrorist. Oh but he’d had a service done on [...]
Scalia: If States Can Resrict Those Freed Slaves, Then Why Not Messicans?
The Supreme Court conducted a vile smear against the noble state of Arizona today by shooting down most of SB 1070, the law that restricts illegal Mexicans from existing. Our old pal Antonin Scalia, writing the dissenting opinion, simply didn’t care for his peers’ decision. As Scalia sees it, states = sovereign, so states can [...]
Supreme Court Wusses Out On Sending Kids To Jail For Life, And More
The big decision we’ve all been waiting for is finally in: “The Supreme Court ruled Monday that it is unconstitutional for states to require juveniles convicted of murder to be sentenced to life in prison without possibility of parole.” DOWN WITH THE COURT. Then what’s the point of waking up in the morning, now? “Monday’s [...]
Ha Ha, Leading Arizona Mexican-Hater Wingnut Kicked Out of Mexican Eateries
Top Arizona horse’s ass Russell Pearce, the former state Senator known for his awkward testicle jokes and his authorship of the state’s anti-immigration law that codified higher levels of skin pigmentation as a form of suspicious behavior, was rejected by two Mexican restaurants in Phoenix upon trying to hold a fundraiser at each to help [...]
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