Tag Archives: arizona

  Vendetta? What Vendetta?

Of Course Joe Arpaio Sent A Private Dick After A Federal Judge’s Wife. He’s Sheriff Joe!

He IS Justice!
Here’s one way to tell that maybe your contempt of court hearing isn’t going your way: When the judge in your case asks if you hired a private investigator to look into that judge’s wife, and you have to admit that, well, yes, but only because you’re a paranoid creep who always investigates his political enemies. It’s not like Maricopa County Sheriff Joe Arpaio was singling out U.S. District Court Judge G. Murray Snow or anything. Read more on Of Course Joe Arpaio Sent A Private Dick After A Federal Judge’s Wife. He’s Sheriff Joe!…
  nice time!

Sorry Nutbags, Even AZ’s Hard-Right Gov Thinks Keeping Foster Kids From Gay Homes Is Dick Move

We're fine with gay adoptions, but not with naming innocent children 'Arwen'
Is there a tinfoil hat shortage in Arizona? Republican Gov. Doug Ducey issued an executive order Wednesday rescinding a Department of Child Safety policy prohibiting legally married same-sex couples from adopting children or becoming foster parents, bringing actual state policy into line with a pledge Ducey had made last week to encourage more adoptions, regardless of whether adoptive parents were gay or straight. Read more on Sorry Nutbags, Even AZ’s Hard-Right Gov Thinks Keeping Foster Kids From Gay Homes Is Dick Move…
  It also helps if you clap real hard

Now Arkansas Says You Can Reverse Your Abortion With This One Weird Trick

What's science got to do with medicine?
Arkansas has been very busy this week protecting The Children. In addition to the bill to prohibit “rehoming” adoptive children to rapists, the state enacted another two anti-abortion laws this week, for the kids! (Oh, and the ladies, haha, suuure.) That’s a total of six abortion bills since January because IT’S JUST THAT IMPORTANT. Read more on Now Arkansas Says You Can Reverse Your Abortion With This One Weird Trick…
  You Come At The HENGHHHH? You Best Not Miss

John McCain Has An Announcement To Make Too, Pick Him, Pick Him!

My friends, my friends, my friends...FIVE AND A HALF YEARS, ALAN
After that thrilling speech by Rand Paul (mostly we just heard the trombone-voice of the teacher from Charlie Brown cartoons), are you Wonkers ready for some real excitement? Then you should probably go see a matinee of Furious 7, because this article is about John McCain announcing that he’ll run for a sixth term in the Senate. Wait! Come back! Maybe there’ll be sideboob in here somewhere! Like, not even gross old man sideboob, either. Read more on John McCain Has An Announcement To Make Too, Pick Him, Pick Him!…
  Nice state you've got there -- shame if something were to happen to it

Corporations And Celebrities Agree: Anti-Gay Indiana Can Get Bent

On Thursday, wingnut Indiana Gov. Mike Pence signed his state’s Fuck The Gays bill into law, which basically says that as long as your religion tells you Jesus’s first and only question on Judgment Day will be “and how many of my gay children did you personally abuse?”, you are free to use those beliefs to deny LGBT people service and accommodations in the forgotten, godforsaken state of Indiana. Gov. Pence did so because apparently the threat of losing tourism dollars and business is less important than making sure nobody forces Aunt Lurlene to bake a pie for a fag. This is called Religious Freedom, and it is somehow what this great nation was founded upon, according to idiots. Read more on Corporations And Celebrities Agree: Anti-Gay Indiana Can Get Bent…
  You Got Your Jesus In My Gun Bill!

Arizona Wingnut Senator: We Can’t Make You People Go To Church, So Have Some Guns Instead

Jesus is actually registered in her district
Look, all you screamy liberals, Arizona state Sen. Sylvia Allen is NOT introducing legislation to make going to church on Sunday mandatory, so stop your exaggerating and whining. She just thinks that such a mandate would be an excellent idea, is all. Read more on Arizona Wingnut Senator: We Can’t Make You People Go To Church, So Have Some Guns Instead…
  Not intended to be a factual law

Arizona Passes Bill To Make Doctors Lie About Abortion To Ladies For Ladies’ Own Good

Just lay back and enjoy the bullshit
Oh hey there, Arizona, how are you being terrible this week? Trying to help poors by taking away their health care so they learn how to not be poor? Nah, that was weeks ago! This week, the Arizona House and Senate have passed a bill to restrict abortion — yes, again — that includes a creative amendment requiring abortion providers to inform their patients: Read more on Arizona Passes Bill To Make Doctors Lie About Abortion To Ladies For Ladies’ Own Good…
  But in a good way!

Christian Church Will Take Convention To Better State Than Anti-Gay Indiana, For Religious Freedom

The Disciples of Christ denomination's cup runneth over, even for gays!
Yesterday we learned that the organizers of Gen Con, a huge gamer convention that brings about $50 million a year in tourism moneys to Indianapolis, are threatening to pick up and leave Indiana once their contract with the state expires, because Gov. Mike Pence promised to sign a backward bill that says it will guarantee “religious freedom,” but is in a reality a license for the most horrible residents of Indiana to discriminate against LGBT people by denying service, accommodations and whatnot. Gov. Pence has now made good on that promise, signing the bill Thursday morning in a “private ceremony.” Good for the Gen Con folks, because an Indiana with a “Fuck You Gays” bill doesn’t deserve tourism money. But now a true House Of The Lord is ALSO threatening to take their convention to a better state. Yes, you read that right. A Christian denomination, the Disciples Of Christ to be exact, wrote a letter to the governor saying, “Sorry, we follow Jesus,” because apparently a law designed to discriminate against a minority goes against their Sincerely Held Religious Beliefs: Read more on Christian Church Will Take Convention To Better State Than Anti-Gay Indiana, For Religious Freedom…
  This Fuckin' Guy

This Is Just Getting Ridiculous: Obamacare-Hatin’ Sheriff Ups His (Not-Begging) Ask To A Cool $60 Grand

Ritchie Mack, he's a sheriff down in 'Zona
Obamacare-hatin’ Sheriff Richard Mack has already clarified that he is not looking for charity, and also, thank you for all the charity, please send more charity. Now, Sheriff Mack’s supporters have reached down, grabbed the Sheriff’s bootstraps, and announced that they want DOUBLE the amount of other people’s money they originally said they wanted. Read more on This Is Just Getting Ridiculous: Obamacare-Hatin’ Sheriff Ups His (Not-Begging) Ask To A Cool $60 Grand…
  Aggravated Doing Unto Others

Christian End Times Family Band Gunfighting With Cops For The Lord

C'mon Get Raptured!
Several members of a Christian family band from Boise, Idaho, got into a brawl and gunfight with police in a Walmart parking lot in Cottonwood, Arizona, on Saturday night, leaving one member of the family dead and the rest in police custody. The group, which called itself “Matthew 24 Now” (GET IT???*) looked forward to the coming End Times, and apparently felt the need to hurry up the schedule a little when they attacked police and fired on them. Maybe they just loved the smell of cordite in the evening. Read more on Christian End Times Family Band Gunfighting With Cops For The Lord…
  Nepotism Is A Family Value

Arizona Wingnut Senator Not Big On Worker Rights Except Maybe For Her Son-In-Law’s

Syvlia llen at a 'Nullify Now!' event in Phoenix
Arizona state Senator Sylvia Allen is a wingnut’s wingnut who likes guns and state militias and “constitutional conservative” sheriffs like Richard Mack, the guy who wanted women and children up front at the Bundy Ranch in case shooting started. In 2009, she supported uranium mining in Arizona because uranium and people and animals have all been together for the entire 6,000 years of the Earth’s existence, and God never saw fit to require regulations on uranium in the Garden of Eden. Read more on Arizona Wingnut Senator Not Big On Worker Rights Except Maybe For Her Son-In-Law’s…
  Ain't Too Proud To Beg But Definitely Too Proud To Admit To It

Obamacare-Hatin’ Sheriff Begs For More Filthy Liberal Money, Is Not A Beggar

Obamacare-hatin’ Sheriff Richard Mack called into the Thom Hartmann Program, and while the Sheriff’s cardiovascular system is still recovering from a heart attack, his balls still appear to be plump, healthy, and clad in the highest-quality brass. Mack insists that he don’t need no handouts, and also thank you for all the handouts, please keep ’em comin’. Read more on Obamacare-Hatin’ Sheriff Begs For More Filthy Liberal Money, Is Not A Beggar…
  Just heal yourself with bootstraps

Arizona Wants To Help The Poors By Taking Away Their Medicaid

He's here to protect the taxpayers
Arizona’s new Republican governor, Doug Ducey, sure is in a hurry to undo all the socialism the state’s previous radical liberal Marxist Obama-lovin’ governor, Jan “Judas” Brewer, did when she was still in charge of the place. Read more on Arizona Wants To Help The Poors By Taking Away Their Medicaid…
  how many rounds per minor?

Arizona Not About To Take Away Kids’ Rights To Accidentally Shoot People With Uzis

=what i shot on my summer vacation
Last summer, a nine-year old child accidentally killed an Arizona gun range instructor who let her fire an Uzi, because isn’t it every little girl’s dream to experience the recoil of a large automatic weapon? And Holy Mother of Pearl! We finally have an Arizona politician attempting to address the senseless death. Read more on Arizona Not About To Take Away Kids’ Rights To Accidentally Shoot People With Uzis…
  Ten Thousand Applicants One Cup

Welfare Drug Tests Don’t Work, So Now Republicans Want Them Everywhere

We might go see a band named 'Welfare Piss Test'
In an enormous surprise to nobody who saw it fail miserably in Florida, it turns out that drug-testing applicants for welfare doesn’t work well anywhere else, either. Think Progress reviewed the seven states that currently require applicants for Temporary Assistance for Needy Families (TANF) and found that they’re all spending a huge amount of money to “ferret out very few drug users.” Imagine that! In addition to being found unconstitutional, at least in Florida so far, the programs don’t find many drug users: a far smaller percentage than in the general population. But that’s not stopping about a dozen other states — including Montana, Texas, West Virginia, and the libertarian paradise that is Wisconsin, of course — from proposing such programs, because slapping poor people around is always politically popular. Read more on Welfare Drug Tests Don’t Work, So Now Republicans Want Them Everywhere…
  takers

Obamacare-Hatin’ Sheriff Wants You To Pay His Medical Bills For Him, Because He Ain’t Got No Obamacare

Ha, and also ha.
Former Arizona sheriff Richard Mack is the man who proposed using women as human shields at the Bundy Ranch last year. As you might expect, he’s an older “gentleman,” and he does not care for Obummercare. Pity that, since both he and his wife are recovering from serious illnesses, and they’re learning firsthand just how painful medically induced bankruptcy can be. Unfortunately, Sheriff Mack’s principles simply will not allow him to save tons of money and also maybe his own life and that of his wife by enrolling in an ACA-approved plan. So, like any self-reliant rugged individualist, he is begging people to give him money. Talking Points Memo tells us more. Read more on Obamacare-Hatin’ Sheriff Wants You To Pay His Medical Bills For Him, Because He Ain’t Got No Obamacare…