Tag: arizona

Wonkagenda: Wednesday, August 24, 2016

You get in here and read your news brief, RIGHT NOW!
myfriends, my friends, my friends..FIVE AND A HLAF YEARS, ALAN!

‘Oath Keepers’ Militia Loons Pretty Sure John McCain Needs To Be Executed For Being Tortured

A rightwing militia group is certain that a recording of John McCain's 1969 forced confession proves he needs to be executed for treason. Protip: "patriot" groups who want to overthrow the government give lousy legal advice.
No, Bill, we haven't forgotten.

DNC Night Two: How Many Hours Will Bill Clinton Talk Tonight? Here Is Your Livebloog!

Night Two of the DNC started with the formal nomination of Hillary Clinton as U.S. America's first female major party nominee
A year is plenty of time to stop being poor.

Arizona Hopes To Out-LePage Maine, Screw Poors Harder Than Any Other State

Arizona now has the most punitive restrictions on cash payments to poor families with kids. Don't worry, some other state is certain to steal that honor.

Attorney General Loretta Lynch ‘Bout To Have To Smack A Bunch More States Upside Their Heads

Oh look, a whole posse of bigot states are joining together to say 'EW TRANS PEOPLE'!

Tales Of Restaurant Employees Who Failed Spectacularly

Welcome back to Off The Menu, where we bring you the best and strangest food stories from my email inbox. This week, we’ve got more stories of restaurant employees whose crap was just in no way together. As always,...

Clinton And Sanders Unite To Sue Holy Hell Out Of Those Arizona Bastards: A Nice Time!

a href="http://wonkette.com/600701/bernie-and-hillary-agree-loudly-at-each-other-for-two-shouty-hours"Isn't it nice when primary candidates can move past their bickering and unite on issues that matter, like the need to improve health care (but not how) or to raise the minimum wage (but not how) or women's...
Whoops! (yes, it's shopped. Kansas is not tropical. Yet.)

Kansas Spanish Language Voter Guides Had Some Totally Tiny Errors, No Big Deal At All

In addition to all of Kansas's other teensy little roadblocks to voting -- like the bizarre two-tier registration system where it's possible for some voters to be registered to vote in federal elections but ineligible to vote in state...
Eeeeeee Haaawwwwwww!!

Arizona Congressjerk Will Save Grand Canyon From Barack Obama And Tyranny

There are two things you should know about Arizona teabagger Rep. Paul Gosar: He is a dentist who somehow made it into Congress, and he's one of the reasons we Can't Have Nice Things. Gosar is fighting a proposal...
NOPE!

Ted Cruz’s Allegedly Excellent Penis Adventures, Ew Gross. Your Weekly Top Ten.

Oh hey, WANKERS. It's time for your Saturday morning cocktail hour top ten list! And ugh, yeah, we sure did learn way more about what Ted Cruz's penis may or may not have done this week, and those stories...

What Disgusting ‘Food’ Stuffs Are Sports Stadiums Shoving Into Your Faces Today?

Major League Baseball released its list of stadium foods last Thursday, and we have only one question: who the hell let Guy Fieri design every ballpark food in America? In their quest to push the boundaries of stadium food science,...
Show everyone you voted

Arizona Wins Trophy For Effed-Up Primaries, Has Plenty Of Competition

Congratulations to Arizona's Maricopa County, which did the very best job so far in the 2016 election cycle of completely screwing up its primary election and screwing over urban voters. Thanks to the Supreme Court's 2013 recognition that racism...

Ted Cruz Had One Good Night, Will Never Shut Up Now

Ted Cruz finally managed to score a big win in Utah on Tuesday night. Yee haw for him, however you say that in Canadian-Cubanese. Dang near every Mormon and all their sister-wives turned out to cast their vote against Donald Trump, just...
Everybody jump on the sleaze stack!

Arizona, Utah And Idaho Voting Tonight, So Here’s Your Liveblog LOL As If

In a rare anomaly, all but one of this Tuesday's elections and caucuses are being held in the so-called "Mountain Time Zone," which as we all know is entirely as mythical as the presence of comments on Wonkette. And...
He is very excited about his new job!

Meet The Lady Who Just Might Kick Grumpypants John McCain Out Of The Senate

Welcome to an exciting new series from Yr Wonkette, in which we will spend the 30-plus remaining weekends between now Election Day looking at almost all of the 34 races for seats in what is sometimes called "The World's...
Image stoled from Wonkette Operative 'Little Bear'

Sundays With The Militias: How One Smart Cowboy Beats The Whole Federal Gummint

We have learned a very important lesson about book reviewing! You should never, ever write a two-part book review unless you've written both parts ahead of time! Or if you're doing a weekly series, of course. But here we...