arizona
Nice Time! Arizona State Rep. Gives Secular-Humanist Invocation, Has Not Yet Been Stoned
An atheist state legislator opened Tuesday afternoon’s session of the Arizona House of Representatives with an invocation in which he asked his colleagues to not bow their heads, referred to his secular humanist beliefs, and quoted Carl Sagan. Miraculously, no one shouted “You lie!” or even walked out in response to the invocation by state [...]
Hero Arizona Gov Jan Brewer Signs Bill Defending Right To Life Of Poor Defenseless Guns
Earlier this year, we learned of the sad fate of guns turned in at gun buyback programs, where people voluntarily gave up the weapons they had in their homes because they didn’t want them to fall into the hands of criminals or even law-abiding citizens (and toddlers) who might snap one day and “accidentally” shoot [...]
Arizona Fires Veterans’ Administration Secretary Just For Telling Truth About Ladies And The Rag
This fine specimen of Arizonianinity, Terri Proud, knows what is up with ladies on the frontlines, and that is that they get infections in foxholes. Wait, no, that was Newt Gingrich. Right, here is what Terri Proud, executive assistant to the director of Arizona’s Veterans Services department, said: “Women have certain things during the month [...]
You Can Pry The Smith & Wesson From Lady’s Cold Dead Hoo-Haw, And Other Notable Gun News
Oh hai! Welcome to this edition of Our Cold Dead Hands, Wonkette’s weekly look at the state of the gun debate in America, where evil liberals bent on controlling every aspect of your lives continue their efforts to disarm the brave patriots who are the only line of defense between you and the FEMA death [...]
Arizona Town Hall Folk Murder John McCain, Tear Lifeless Body To Shreds With Their Teeth
Visit NBCNews.com for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy That is sad, you guys. United States Senator John McCain is dead, murdered by these fat insane Arizonans for loving Messicans too much. “These people care for our babies,” he moaned, as the crowd descended upon him.
Steven Seagal, American Hero, Trains Armed Vigilante Posse In Arizona
We can all learn from Steven Seagal, American hero, who just keeps giving and giving and giving and then when you think he can’t give any more, BOOM, there he is, magnanimously creating jobs for female Russian masseuses, and then POW, don’t look now, but there goes Steven Seagal, shooting at (illegal) Mexicans in Texas, [...]
How Are Arizona Republicans Performing Patriot Fellatio Today? (SFW)
Hey! Want to get scared shitless today? That’s great, because Arizona still exists, and all we have to do is say, “What are they doing?” and boom things instantly get weird and awful. So… what are they doing? Well, there’s a Democrat who’s trying to make it a felony to intentionally give someone an STD, [...]
Arizona Woman Should Have Just Run Over Her Husband ‘With Votes’
So how’s things in Arizona these days, Phoenix New Times? Anybody from an obviously super best marriage snap once it became clear the South would have to secede all over again? Oh a lady ran her husband over with her Jeep, because it was his fault Obama won because he didn’t vote? Gee, that sounds [...]
A Children’s Treasury of Wacky Swing State Voter ‘Irregularities’
Greetings Wonketeers, and welcome to the day before the day before the beginning of the next four years of our lives! Yes, as of Tuesday we can hopefully stop hearing about Mitt Romney and Bronco Bama, and move on to either sighing with relief or planning our move to Canada. But first, let us pause [...]
Jon Kyl To U.S. Embassy: Stop Raping Yourself
Senator Jon Kyl (R-Arkham Asylum) had a very insightful analysis of the U.S. Embassy’s statement condemning religious bigotry. In a stunning combination of cluelessness, partisanship, and a basic misunderstanding of analogy, Kyl told a group of reporters It’s like the judge telling the woman who got raped, ‘You asked for it because of the way [...]
A Look Back At The Long Political Career of Ben Quayle
Dan Quayle’s weird kid, Congressman Ben, has had a long, fruitful tour through the halls of American power. He made his name writing pornography about all the bitchez he slammed in Scottsdale, for a blog. He made a comical ad where he called Barack Obama the worst president in history. He made more dumb creepy [...]
Hero Gov Jan Brewer Protects Arizona From Scourge Of DREAM Act Kids Getting Drivers Licenses
Well HI Arizona, what are you doing to be the greatest state in the union today? In one corner, we have Louisiana, which allows your child to learn about the Loch Ness monster in science class (except if your child is Islamic, and thus doesn’t deserve to learn about the Loch Ness monster), and in another [...]
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