Tag Archives: arizona

  Nice state you've got there -- shame if something were to happen to it

Corporations And Celebrities Agree: Anti-Gay Indiana Can Get Bent

On Thursday, wingnut Indiana Gov. Mike Pence signed his state’s Fuck The Gays bill into law, which basically says that as long as your religion tells you Jesus’s first and only question on Judgment Day will be “and how many of my gay children did you personally abuse?”, you are free to use those beliefs to deny LGBT people service and accommodations in the forgotten, godforsaken state of Indiana. Gov. Pence did so because apparently the threat of losing tourism dollars and business is less important than making sure nobody forces Aunt Lurlene to bake a pie for a fag. This is called Religious Freedom, and it is somehow what this great nation was founded upon, according to idiots. Read more on Corporations And Celebrities Agree: Anti-Gay Indiana Can Get Bent…
  You Got Your Jesus In My Gun Bill!

Arizona Wingnut Senator: We Can’t Make You People Go To Church, So Have Some Guns Instead

Jesus is actually registered in her district
Look, all you screamy liberals, Arizona state Sen. Sylvia Allen is NOT introducing legislation to make going to church on Sunday mandatory, so stop your exaggerating and whining. She just thinks that such a mandate would be an excellent idea, is all. Read more on Arizona Wingnut Senator: We Can’t Make You People Go To Church, So Have Some Guns Instead…
  Not intended to be a factual law

Arizona Passes Bill To Make Doctors Lie About Abortion To Ladies For Ladies’ Own Good

Just lay back and enjoy the bullshit
Oh hey there, Arizona, how are you being terrible this week? Trying to help poors by taking away their health care so they learn how to not be poor? Nah, that was weeks ago! This week, the Arizona House and Senate have passed a bill to restrict abortion — yes, again — that includes a creative amendment requiring abortion providers to inform their patients: Read more on Arizona Passes Bill To Make Doctors Lie About Abortion To Ladies For Ladies’ Own Good…
  But in a good way!

Christian Church Will Take Convention To Better State Than Anti-Gay Indiana, For Religious Freedom

The Disciples of Christ denomination's cup runneth over, even for gays!
Yesterday we learned that the organizers of Gen Con, a huge gamer convention that brings about $50 million a year in tourism moneys to Indianapolis, are threatening to pick up and leave Indiana once their contract with the state expires, because Gov. Mike Pence promised to sign a backward bill that says it will guarantee “religious freedom,” but is in a reality a license for the most horrible residents of Indiana to discriminate against LGBT people by denying service, accommodations and whatnot. Gov. Pence has now made good on that promise, signing the bill Thursday morning in a “private ceremony.” Good for the Gen Con folks, because an Indiana with a “Fuck You Gays” bill doesn’t deserve tourism money. But now a true House Of The Lord is ALSO threatening to take their convention to a better state. Yes, you read that right. A Christian denomination, the Disciples Of Christ to be exact, wrote a letter to the governor saying, “Sorry, we follow Jesus,” because apparently a law designed to discriminate against a minority goes against their Sincerely Held Religious Beliefs: Read more on Christian Church Will Take Convention To Better State Than Anti-Gay Indiana, For Religious Freedom…
  This Fuckin' Guy

This Is Just Getting Ridiculous: Obamacare-Hatin’ Sheriff Ups His (Not-Begging) Ask To A Cool $60 Grand

Ritchie Mack, he's a sheriff down in 'Zona
Obamacare-hatin’ Sheriff Richard Mack has already clarified that he is not looking for charity, and also, thank you for all the charity, please send more charity. Now, Sheriff Mack’s supporters have reached down, grabbed the Sheriff’s bootstraps, and announced that they want DOUBLE the amount of other people’s money they originally said they wanted. Read more on This Is Just Getting Ridiculous: Obamacare-Hatin’ Sheriff Ups His (Not-Begging) Ask To A Cool $60 Grand…
  Aggravated Doing Unto Others

Christian End Times Family Band Gunfighting With Cops For The Lord

C'mon Get Raptured!
Several members of a Christian family band from Boise, Idaho, got into a brawl and gunfight with police in a Walmart parking lot in Cottonwood, Arizona, on Saturday night, leaving one member of the family dead and the rest in police custody. The group, which called itself “Matthew 24 Now” (GET IT???*) looked forward to the coming End Times, and apparently felt the need to hurry up the schedule a little when they attacked police and fired on them. Maybe they just loved the smell of cordite in the evening. Read more on Christian End Times Family Band Gunfighting With Cops For The Lord…
  Nepotism Is A Family Value

Arizona Wingnut Senator Not Big On Worker Rights Except Maybe For Her Son-In-Law’s

Syvlia llen at a 'Nullify Now!' event in Phoenix
Arizona state Senator Sylvia Allen is a wingnut’s wingnut who likes guns and state militias and “constitutional conservative” sheriffs like Richard Mack, the guy who wanted women and children up front at the Bundy Ranch in case shooting started. In 2009, she supported uranium mining in Arizona because uranium and people and animals have all been together for the entire 6,000 years of the Earth’s existence, and God never saw fit to require regulations on uranium in the Garden of Eden. Read more on Arizona Wingnut Senator Not Big On Worker Rights Except Maybe For Her Son-In-Law’s…
  Ain't Too Proud To Beg But Definitely Too Proud To Admit To It

Obamacare-Hatin’ Sheriff Begs For More Filthy Liberal Money, Is Not A Beggar

Obamacare-hatin’ Sheriff Richard Mack called into the Thom Hartmann Program, and while the Sheriff’s cardiovascular system is still recovering from a heart attack, his balls still appear to be plump, healthy, and clad in the highest-quality brass. Mack insists that he don’t need no handouts, and also thank you for all the handouts, please keep ‘em comin’. Read more on Obamacare-Hatin’ Sheriff Begs For More Filthy Liberal Money, Is Not A Beggar…
  Just heal yourself with bootstraps

Arizona Wants To Help The Poors By Taking Away Their Medicaid

He's here to protect the taxpayers
Arizona’s new Republican governor, Doug Ducey, sure is in a hurry to undo all the socialism the state’s previous radical liberal Marxist Obama-lovin’ governor, Jan “Judas” Brewer, did when she was still in charge of the place. Read more on Arizona Wants To Help The Poors By Taking Away Their Medicaid…
  how many rounds per minor?

Arizona Not About To Take Away Kids’ Rights To Accidentally Shoot People With Uzis

=what i shot on my summer vacation
Last summer, a nine-year old child accidentally killed an Arizona gun range instructor who let her fire an Uzi, because isn’t it every little girl’s dream to experience the recoil of a large automatic weapon? And Holy Mother of Pearl! We finally have an Arizona politician attempting to address the senseless death. Read more on Arizona Not About To Take Away Kids’ Rights To Accidentally Shoot People With Uzis…
  Ten Thousand Applicants One Cup

Welfare Drug Tests Don’t Work, So Now Republicans Want Them Everywhere

We might go see a band named 'Welfare Piss Test'
In an enormous surprise to nobody who saw it fail miserably in Florida, it turns out that drug-testing applicants for welfare doesn’t work well anywhere else, either. Think Progress reviewed the seven states that currently require applicants for Temporary Assistance for Needy Families (TANF) and found that they’re all spending a huge amount of money to “ferret out very few drug users.” Imagine that! In addition to being found unconstitutional, at least in Florida so far, the programs don’t find many drug users: a far smaller percentage than in the general population. But that’s not stopping about a dozen other states — including Montana, Texas, West Virginia, and the libertarian paradise that is Wisconsin, of course — from proposing such programs, because slapping poor people around is always politically popular. Read more on Welfare Drug Tests Don’t Work, So Now Republicans Want Them Everywhere…
  takers

Obamacare-Hatin’ Sheriff Wants You To Pay His Medical Bills For Him, Because He Ain’t Got No Obamacare

Ha, and also ha.
Former Arizona sheriff Richard Mack is the man who proposed using women as human shields at the Bundy Ranch last year. As you might expect, he’s an older “gentleman,” and he does not care for Obummercare. Pity that, since both he and his wife are recovering from serious illnesses, and they’re learning firsthand just how painful medically induced bankruptcy can be. Unfortunately, Sheriff Mack’s principles simply will not allow him to save tons of money and also maybe his own life and that of his wife by enrolling in an ACA-approved plan. So, like any self-reliant rugged individualist, he is begging people to give him money. Talking Points Memo tells us more. Read more on Obamacare-Hatin’ Sheriff Wants You To Pay His Medical Bills For Him, Because He Ain’t Got No Obamacare…
  A Plague O' Both Your Houses

Jeff Flake’s Dog-Suffocating Son Sues Joe Arpaio; Can We Root For Both Sides To Lose?

Please don't send me to the Bad Kennel!
Now here’s a moral quandary for you: Who are the least loathsome characters in this little drama playing out in Maricopa County, Arizona? Is it Austin and Logan Flake, who were temporarily in charge of a dog-boarding facility last summer when 21 dogs died of heat exhaustion after the air conditioning failed in a shed where the dogs were housed? Probably not! But that would leave as the least loathsome character Maricopa County Sheriff Joe Arpaio, so … [BRAINS EXPLODE]. Read more on Jeff Flake’s Dog-Suffocating Son Sues Joe Arpaio; Can We Root For Both Sides To Lose?…
  Born Arky sneering at you from just the other side of the Mississippi

Arkansas Does Not Need Your Gay Business, Gays!

Oh, we are SNEERING at our home state of Arkansas right now, so hard. You see, we grew up in Little Rock during the days of Bill Clinton, back when Arkansas was Democrat Tuff, in a very blue dog way of course, but never mind. Now it’s been overrun by the same extremist wingnuts who have taken over state legislatures and governors’ mansions all over the South and beyond, with all the stupid that naturally follows those takeovers. Right now, Arkansas is ready to let a horrid, stupid bill become law, SB 202, wherein towns and hamlets and cozy, scenic criks will be banned from passing ordinances protecting LGBT citizens from discrimination. Why this big government intrusion from Little Rock? Because, of course, gays are gross, and we have to protect reg’lar Arkansans from the “chaos” that would ensue if LGBT people were treated equally: Read more on Arkansas Does Not Need Your Gay Business, Gays!…
 

Judge To Obama: Stop Letting In All Those Immigrants Who Are Already Here!

Screw you, huddled masses
Wednesday was supposed to be the day President Obama officially rolled out the Kenyan welcome mat for all them illegals who’ve already snuck across our border to infect us with diseases and their strange foreign languages. But oh no, you can un-unfurl that Hispanic flag over the White House, Mr. Thinks He’s So President, because United States District Judge Andrew S. Hanen has put a stop to that nonsense, at least for now. Read more on Judge To Obama: Stop Letting In All Those Immigrants Who Are Already Here!…
  You Can't Spell CRAZY Without R-AZ

Arizona Senate Committee Votes To Make Federal Government Optional

Arizona's new state mascot
A committee in the Arizona Senate voted Tuesday to advance several bills aimed at making the federal government mind its own darn business and just leave Arizona alone. One bill would invalidate any federal gun laws that Arizona decides violate the Second Amendment (and would also punish the city of Tucson for passing its own laws governing firearms). Another measure would forbid state and local governments from helping federal agencies collect Arizonans’ phone or email metadata without a warrant — and anyone who helped the feds would be forbidden from holding any state office, forever, for reals. Read more on Arizona Senate Committee Votes To Make Federal Government Optional…
  Let's All Civics Each Other!

AZ Mandates High School Civics Test, We Do Not Even Have A Problem With That

could you pass this?
Arizona Governor Doug Ducey (R) signed into law yesterday a bill requiring Arizona high school students to correctly answer 60 of the 100 questions in the civics section of the Immigration and Naturalization test for US citizenship in order to graduate or receive a GED. Although we are always suspicious when Republicans require citizen-related tests, all of the writers at yr Wonkette love civics very much, and it is our hobby that consumes all of our waking hours. And we love it when high school students do civics on each other, so that is probably a good thing to require of them! Really, the more civics the better, and if learning about civics creates voters who are informed about important things, like how democracy should work, and how it actually works, and how important it is to vote, then we think everyone should spend much more time learning civics by reading Wonkette, and also possibly by reading many other publications as well, plus also Wonkette. Read more on AZ Mandates High School Civics Test, We Do Not Even Have A Problem With That…
  Politigation

With No Other Problems In Sight, GOP Will Spend 2015 Fighting Obamacare

Pic via sugarfreeglow Welcome to 2015, Republicans! With the changing of the year, we assume you’ll be turning over a new leaf, looking toward the future and leaving behind the petty bickering and toddler-like tantrums that characterized 2014. Ha ha, just kidding, of course. Read more on With No Other Problems In Sight, GOP Will Spend 2015 Fighting Obamacare…
  All Dogs Go To Phoenix

Arizona Senator’s Dog-Neglecting Son Goes Free For Now, Vows To Find Real Killer

Tired of stories about cops getting away with killing human beings and escaping prosecution? Here’s a story of private citizens getting away with killing 21 dogs and escaping prosecution. You’re welcome. Oh, and the private citizens happen to be the son and daughter-in-law of Arizona Sen. Jeff Flake, although only an embittered cynic would think that fact played any role in the decision to (at least temporarily) drop animal cruelty charges against Austin and Logan Flake. Read more on Arizona Senator’s Dog-Neglecting Son Goes Free For Now, Vows To Find Real Killer…
  Your Lump Of Christmas Clean Coal

Dumb New Mexico Hippies Refusing To Burn Their Fair Share Of Coal

Princess Celestia is going to be SO pissed about this...
Image by Daniel Nadelbach, Mother Earth Living In what’s just the latest of several similar moves to make customers who have rooftop solar electricity systems “pay their fair share” for being less polluting, the largest utility in New Mexico, PNM Resources, has proposed a surcharge on home solar customers, aimed at keeping those damned greenies from getting a free ride for the cost of their connection to the power grid. Read more on Dumb New Mexico Hippies Refusing To Burn Their Fair Share Of Coal…
  You Know He Knows Just Exactly What The Facts Is

AZ Sheriff (Not Joe Arpaio) Will Take County Full Somalia. Congratulations, New Somalia!

Ritchie Mack, he's a sheriff down in 'Zona
From the old “Derp Springs Eternal” file, we bring you news of the remnants of Cliven Bundy Freedom Spring 2014. You may remember former Graham County (Arizona) Sheriff Richard Mack from that little to-do in the Nevada desert; Mack’s the guy who came up with the brilliant plan to put all the women at the front of the Bundy lines if a shootout with federal agents broke out, so the world would see how murderous the feds were. Read more on AZ Sheriff (Not Joe Arpaio) Will Take County Full Somalia. Congratulations, New Somalia!…