Tag: ari fleischer

Bob Dole Stands Erect For Taiwan; Firmness Achieved By All This Money On The Nightstand

Congratulations to Bob Dole on achieving a hard position on U.S.-Taiwan relations and keeping it up so long.

How Bad Is Donald Trump Pissing In China’s Corn Flakes Over Taiwan? THIS MANY BAD.

It's a YOOGE FREAKING DEAL, and not in a good way.
First they came for the presidential candidates...

Donald Trump Just Joshing About Jailing Opponent! Tip Your Waitstaff! Is This Mic On?

Good presidents turn chants like 'Lock her up!' into policy, don't they?

Peyton Manning Hires Ari Fleischer To Ensure No One Believes A Word He Says

Over the weekend, a big thing happened in sportsball, which you know we are always on top of here at yr Wonkette. Turns out that the freedom-haters over at Al Jazeera declared jihad on All-American Hero Denver Broncos quarterback Peyton...
To be fair, he looks pretty safe there

Never Forget (Except For The Stuff They Wish We’d Forget, Go Ahead And Forget That Stuff)

What is it we're supposed to never forget again? George W. Bush, August 6, 2001: Bush listened to the briefing , Suskind says, then told the CIA briefer: “All right. You’ve covered your ass, now.” George W. Bush, March 13, 2002: just...
Him?

George W. Bush Emerges From Spider Hole To Trash-Talk Obama’s Middle East Strategy. Really.

Ever since leaving the White House, the worst president in America's history has mostly kept his stumbling idiot wordhole shut, because he is a man of integrity, and he would never stoop so low as to criticize President Obama, as he...
Never forget BRANDS

You Need This Sex Toy To Never Forget 9/11

How are you Never Forgetting that today is the 13th anniversary of the worst crime committed on American soil (not counting American history before 2001, but shhhhhh, un-American America-haters, we shall not discuss that)? You could be remembering how it is...

Poll Suggests Ari Fleischer’s Nifty Twitter Conspiracy Theory Just Might Catch On Among Republican Voters

For about an hour the other day, former George W. Bush spokesman Ari Fleisher had himself a nice case of righteous indignation when he thought he saw something nasty in the Twittershed: Could it be, he asked, that Barack...

Some DHHS Report Says Affordable Care Act Even More Affordable Than Expected. It’s Also Better Than Ari Fleischer’s Twitter Math

No matter how much Ted Cruz desperately tries to defund Obamacare with fake filibuster talks about spiffy black tennis shoes, or White Castle burgers, or his dad's dish pan hands, or even how much dead Dr. Seuss (he's a...

Scoop Of The Century At Yahoo! News: Jay Carney Is A Press Secretary!

Now that "Obama is terrible" has taken hold as the dominant media narrative of this instant, expect to see a lot more stories like this one: "The top 9,486 ways Jay Carney won’t answer your questions (interactive)". Yes, "interactive,"...

A Childrens’ Treasury Of People You Never Wanted To Think About Ever Again

Since this month marks the ten-year anniversary of the War to Soothe George W. Bush’s Daddy Issues, and because our blood pressure has not skyrocketed to the point where it blew out the cuff the nurse strapped around our...

Never Forget The Summer Bin Laden Briefly Distracted Us From Saddam Hussein

In the summer of 2001, while most Americans were first and foremost worried about shark attacks, our newly installed neocon foreign policy leaders had their eyes on the real enemy, the one man who was working tirelessly to destroy...

Greek Neo-Nazis Win 21 Seats, Charm Nation With Reminder It Is ‘Time To Fear’

While America's been focusing this week on incredibly important issues like Rush Limbaugh's induction into the Missouri Hall of Flame, Obama's no-shi moment, how Obama's gayness will be the end of him and how undercover bathhouse boy will save...

Ari Fleischer, Ex-Bush Spokesman, Secretly Involved In Komen Disaster

Question for the ages: Why do so many former Bush flunkies simply refuse to STAY FLUSHED? Ex-Bush spokesman Ari Fleischer, for example, continues to circle the Beltway bowl as a human resources intern or some such at the Susan...

TIGER WOODS ALSO BONING ARI FLEISCHER: America's Productive Economy: "Two sources in the golf community have told The Post that Ari Fleischer, the former presidential advisor to George W. Bush and the man who was brought in to help...

Ari Fleischer Declares Mission Accomplished In Iran, While Aboard The U.S.S. Chowderhead

After starting a rumor that Senator Robert Byrd had passed away, Caroline Kennedy did her civic duty and volunteered herself as the third senator from New York. Guano faucet Ari Fleischer doesn't want to take all the credit for...