Tag Archives: ari fleischer

  Trigger warning for GWB

George W. Bush Emerges From Spider Hole To Trash-Talk Obama’s Middle East Strategy. Really.

Him?
Ever since leaving the White House, the worst president in America’s history has mostly kept his stumbling idiot wordhole shut, because he is a man of integrity, and he would never stoop so low as to criticize President Obama, as he explained in 2009: Read more on George W. Bush Emerges From Spider Hole To Trash-Talk Obama’s Middle East Strategy. Really….
  Definitely Not Safe For Work

You Need This Sex Toy To Never Forget 9/11

Never forget BRANDS
How are you Never Forgetting that today is the 13th anniversary of the worst crime committed on American soil (not counting American history before 2001, but shhhhhh, un-American America-haters, we shall not discuss that)? Read more on You Need This Sex Toy To Never Forget 9/11…
  the content of their 140 characters

Poll Suggests Ari Fleischer’s Nifty Twitter Conspiracy Theory Just Might Catch On Among Republican Voters

For about an hour the other day, former George W. Bush spokesman Ari Fleisher had himself a nice case of righteous indignation when he thought he saw something nasty in the Twittershed: Could it be, he asked, that Barack Obama got special privileges on the Twitter box? Turns out that Fleischer was kinda sorta just plain wrong — he’d copypasted the POTUStweet into another document and included the “@BarackObama” part, and then went and had a very embarrassing Public Huff. Read more on Poll Suggests Ari Fleischer’s Nifty Twitter Conspiracy Theory Just Might Catch On Among Republican Voters…
  Who Will Save Us from the Scourge of Affordable Coverage?

Some DHHS Report Says Affordable Care Act Even More Affordable Than Expected. It’s Also Better Than Ari Fleischer’s Twitter Math

No matter how much Ted Cruz desperately tries to defund Obamacare with fake filibuster talks about spiffy black tennis shoes, or White Castle burgers, or his dad’s dish pan hands, or even how much dead Dr. Seuss (he’s a doctor, y’all) hates it, it looks like this Obamacare thing is going to happen. And guess what? It’s maybe gonna suck even less than Ted Cruz lied about it sucking. It looks like, according to a report released by the Department of Health and Human Services, that the, ahem, Affordable Care Act is even more affordable than the government thought: When uninsured Americans begin enrolling in Obamacare’s new health care exchanges on Oct. 1, the overwhelming majority — 95 percent — will face health care premiums that are 16 percent lower, on average, than the government had previously projected, according to a new report released on Wednesday by the Obama administration. 16% lower on healthcare premiums sounds like a good thing? And wait, this starts on October 1? We really do not know anything about Obamacare. Someone tell Ted Cruz that he can calm down, because we are sure when he hears about this he will understand and shut up? There are some particular things about Obamacare that make it cheaper by state too, like competition and choice. And Republicans always love competition and (anything not pro-choice) choice. Or, maybe only sometimes? Read more on Some DHHS Report Says Affordable Care Act Even More Affordable Than Expected. It’s Also Better Than Ari Fleischer’s Twitter Math…
  Wait You Mean Press Secretaries Are Evasive?

Scoop Of The Century At Yahoo! News: Jay Carney Is A Press Secretary!

Now that “Obama is terrible” has taken hold as the dominant media narrative of this instant, expect to see a lot more stories like this one: “The top 9,486 ways Jay Carney won’t answer your questions (interactive)”. Yes, “interactive,” which means “We embedded a scrolly thing of Jay Carney’s press conference transcripts with some words highlighted.” Oh Yahoo! News, you path-breaking new media juggernaut, you! What’s next, a dancing baby? Well, here’s yr Wonkette’s EXCLUSIVE stop press bombshell: this article is useless. Read more on Scoop Of The Century At Yahoo! News: Jay Carney Is A Press Secretary!…
  Gettin the band back together

A Childrens’ Treasury Of People You Never Wanted To Think About Ever Again

Since this month marks the ten-year anniversary of the War to Soothe George W. Bush’s Daddy Issues, and because our blood pressure has not skyrocketed to the point where it blew out the cuff the nurse strapped around our arm at our last physical, your Wonkette thought it would be fun to take a look back at the architects of that colossal fuck-up. Who were these paragons of American exceptionalism, and what are they doing today? Living quiet lives of reflection and repentance? Working every day with the wounded veterans who are such a large result of their policies? Standing in the dock at the Hague? Committing seppuku, the ritual suicide by disembowelment practiced by Japanese samurai when they brought shame and dishonor upon themselves and their nation? To the Google! Read more on A Childrens’ Treasury Of People You Never Wanted To Think About Ever Again…
  axis of fantasy

Never Forget The Summer Bin Laden Briefly Distracted Us From Saddam Hussein

In the summer of 2001, while most Americans were first and foremost worried about shark attacks, our newly installed neocon foreign policy leaders had their eyes on the real enemy, the one man who was working tirelessly to destroy us: Saddam Hussein. This evil dictator, whose plans for world conquest had received a minor setback a decade earlier when the vast majority of his armed forces and military hardware were destroyed, was assembling a fearsome arsenal of chemical, biological, and nuclear weapons to strike at us. The only thing that could sap America’s resolve to finish the job and kill the guy who tried to kill the president’s father after the president’s father tried to kill him? Why, Saddam Hussein’s very best friend, Osama bin Laden, who spent much of 2001 running a disinformation campaign (with the liberal CIA’s help) meant to stop our heroic march to Iraqi victory. Read more on Never Forget The Summer Bin Laden Briefly Distracted Us From Saddam Hussein…
  at least it's a freaking ethos

Greek Neo-Nazis Win 21 Seats, Charm Nation With Reminder It Is ‘Time To Fear’

While America’s been focusing this week on incredibly important issues like Rush Limbaugh’s induction into the Missouri Hall of Flame, Obama’s no-shi moment, how Obama’s gayness will be the end of him and how undercover bathhouse boy will save us from the gayz, and how gas prices are all Obama’s fault but not really but yes they are… we’ve been bizzy too, over here in Yore-up. Greek political parties failed to agree (for the fourth time) on a coalition government and announced they’re heading for yet another general election. Even this weekend’s coalition talks were close to impossible, because Alexis Tsipras (who is freaking handsome and should just win, OK?), the leader of the the Radical Left Coalition, Syriza, refused to sit at the same table with the neo-Nazi “Golden Dawn” party. Read more on Greek Neo-Nazis Win 21 Seats, Charm Nation With Reminder It Is ‘Time To Fear’…
  think before you pink

Ari Fleischer, Ex-Bush Spokesman, Secretly Involved In Komen Disaster

Question for the ages: Why do so many former Bush flunkies simply refuse to STAY FLUSHED? Ex-Bush spokesman Ari Fleischer, for example, continues to circle the Beltway bowl as a human resources intern or some such at the Susan G. Komen Foundation. What a mighty non-coincidence, indeed, that a refugee from the colossally failed Bush administration would find himself orbiting yet another organization collapsing upon itself like a stupid and inexplicably pro-life dying star. Marvel at your universe today. Read more on Ari Fleischer, Ex-Bush Spokesman, Secretly Involved In Komen Disaster…
  things we knew

TIGER WOODS ALSO BONING ARI FLEISCHER: America’s Productive Economy: “Two sources in the golf community have told The Post that Ari Fleischer, the former presidential advisor to George W. Bush and the man who was brought in to help repair the steroid-shattered image of Mark McGwire, has been huddling with Woods, plotting a strategy for his return to golf — at the Arnold Palmer Invitational starting March 25 at Bay Hill in Orlando.” What strategy? Doesn’t he just sign up and play golf? There’s no need for firecrackers and kick-the-can on an aircraft carrier. (Maybe.) [NY Post] Read more on …
  rumors on the internets

Ari Fleischer Declares Mission Accomplished In Iran, While Aboard The U.S.S. Chowderhead

After starting a rumor that Senator Robert Byrd had passed away, Caroline Kennedy did her civic duty and volunteered herself as the third senator from New York. [RedState] Guano faucet Ari Fleischer doesn’t want to take all the credit for exporting freedom to Iran, but hey, modesty is its own reward. [Think Progress] Read more on Ari Fleischer Declares Mission Accomplished In Iran, While Aboard The U.S.S. Chowderhead…
 

Scott McClellan’s A Big Hit!

SEE WHAT EVERYONE’S SAYING ABOUT SCOTT MCCLELLAN’S NEW #1 BOOK, GEORGE BUSH JR. MADE VAGUE ERRORS! “I would think if he harbored such deep feelings about things he wouldn’t have and shouldn’t have accepted the press secretary job in the first place.” — ARI FLEISCHER, bald press secretary before Scott McClellan.“Total crap.” — DAN BARTLETT, former White House communications director.“Left-wing logger.” — KARL ROVE, White House turd blossom.“I totally agree.” — NANCY PELOSI, known Liberal.“Why don’t you learn something about the monument.” — HILLARY CLINTON, civil rights leader. WHAT A BOOK! (Now let us never speak of it again.) Read more on Scott McClellan’s A Big Hit!…
 

Libby Jury Made Up of Idiots

The more we learn about the Libby jury, the more we hope we’re never tried by a jury of his peers. From the post-it notes asking “what are the charges again?” to their stupid Valentine’s Day shirts (the one lady with enough sense to avoid that awkward mess was kicked off the jury), it’s been apparent for weeks that Scooter Libby’s fate would be decided by a white-collar DC Apple Dumpling Gang. Trying to convince us of the jury’s intelligence, Eric Lipton at the Times instead leaves us more confident than before of their idiocy. Relevant quotes and comments, after the jump. Read more on Libby Jury Made Up of Idiots…
 

Journos: Ari Did It

Walter Pincus revealed today at the Scooter Libby trial that Mr. Ari Fleischer, the slimiest former administration official of all, leaked Pincus the Valerie Plame story, not Scooter. Fleischer, of course, cut a deal to testify for the prosecution in exchange for immunity from prosecution, so this revelation comes as a surprise to absolutely no one. Read more on Journos: Ari Did It…
 

Daily Briefing: Assembly of Experts

* EPA and OSHA now dummy fronts for White House policies. [NYT] * John Kerry and Christopher Dodd have a fire in the belly from the death of the only American soldier in Iraq that was willing to talk to them. [WP] * President Bush: “I’m not that good at pronouncing words.” [WP] * Ari Fleischer reminds us how much we miss him, gives testimony that conflicts with Scooter’s sworn statement. [NYT, LAT] * Mahmoud Ahmadinejad is the bizarro world Bush. [WSJ] * Ben Bernanke’s all up in your city, not doing shit. [NYT] * Swiss cheese border with Mexico won’t become muenster anytime soon. [LAT] Read more on Daily Briefing: Assembly of Experts…
 

Rumors On The Internets: And Club a Baby Seal While You’re At It

* Matt Damon wants to do things to Dick Cheney that Jason Bourne hasn’t even heard of. News Busters] * James Baker grabs ass and ankles for Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, hilarious historically poignant metaphor ensues. [YouTube] * Macaca: man of the year. [Salon] * Soldiers choose John Kerry’s wind-bagging over peeling potatoes, learn hard lesson about regret. [Blackfive] * Iraq:Afghanistan::War on Christmas:War on Hanukkah. [Radosh] * Ari Fleischer wants to be a congressman. [Political Wire] * Damn the man! Save the interwebz! [YouTube] Read more on Rumors On The Internets: And Club a Baby Seal While You’re At It…