On Friday night the New York Times, a well-known snarky DC gossip blog, suggested that a guy who briefly dated Mark Sanford’s ladyfriend may have leaked a bunch of emails to Sanford’s hometown newspaper. But now Sanford’s ladyfriend is denying it, saying that the accused leaker in question “is an excellent, respectable and honorable man incapable of making anything similar to that.” So who is responsible for sharing these embarrassing emails with the world? MORE »

Mark Sanford! You might remember this guy from a few days ago, when he cruelly Michael Jackson ex machina’ed what was supposed to be the Summer of Becton. His insane emails were of a more pornographic persuasion than those of Becton, so out of obligation to democracy, all of America’s GChat statuses then changed to reference Sanford. Alas! Tables turned again, with Michael Jackson playing the role of “Michael Jackson,” and everyone forgot about Mark Sanford and his Argentinian inamorata. That about brings us up to speed, to today, when Sanford and Sons and Wife took separate cars to some Faulknerian Camp David, which is, according to Sanford, symbolic of why Sanford is not resigning from his governorship or his marriage. In fact, according to a one “Tom Davis,” who controls all South Carolina politics from his Michael Crichton-themed masturbatorium under Sanford’s porch, SC lawmakers are looking to Jenny Sanford for clues about how angry they should be, at Mark, for cheating.  MORE »

NEW YORKER STAFFERS QUITE FAMILIAR WITH EXCLUSIVE NEIGHBORHOOD OF MARK SANFORD’S MISTRESS: Sparkin’ Sanford’s Buenos Aires’ pied-à-terre is in a rather lovely area where the better people congregate. “The well-kept doorman buildings feature underground parking garages and balconies. It’s winter now in Argentina, but in summer you can smell the animals in the zoo across the street from my grandfather’s balcony—and from Maria’s place as well, no doubt. Guido’s bar and restaurant at 2843 is probably the street’s most iconic feature, a quirky Italian place with no actual menu, where you are at the mercy of your waiter. The surrounding neighborhood, Palermo, is a fashionable residential neighborhood featuring a large namesake park, a major shopping district, bars and restaurants. We’ve yet to find out much about Sanford’s mistress, but the charms of her neighborhood are obvious.” [New Yorker]

Well here is a sort of sad but interesting angle on the Sanford Firecracker Love Scandal, straight from The State reporter Gina Smith, who drove 200 miles to corner the exhausted governor of South Carolina at 6:15 in the morning yesterday as he was arriving back at the Atlanta airport, probably all morning breath-y. MORE »

• SOMEONE’S BEEN SITTING ON A STORY: Important journalism newspaper The State has released some e-mails between Sanford and “Maria” that they obtained (how??) last December. Fap away! [The State]

One or more of you commenter people have linked to an article about crying sex person Mark Sanford in an Argentinian newspaper, La Nación. “Argentina” is very proud to have had an American slave state leader come to its big city and sex its women! Maybe? It’s hard to tell, because we do not speak Spanish. The Internet does, though, and has translated for us some of the article’s comments. Are the Argentinian Internet’s commenters as erudite as the “Real American” commenters? Perhaps even more! MORE »

Republican star Mark Sanford pretty much came clean during his press conference! That is a rare thing with these people, and as a result, liberals everywhere are oohing and aahing, “Oh it’s true love he wasn’t even fucking street urchin boys as far as we know, he should just ditch his awful wife and children,” etc. MORE »

We cannot write a better introduction than this: “A town in South America is living in fear after several sightings of a ‘creepy gnome’ that locals claim stalks the streets at night. The midget — which wears a pointy hat and has a distinctive sideways walk — was caught on video last week by a terrified group of youngsters.” This sidling wicket goblin, who is terrorizing Argentinian Mexicans, made one teenager “so scared after seeing that thing that we had to take him to the hospital.”

Hmm… a hobbit gnome terrorizing illegals? This is no mystery at all. MORE »

Four men were charged in Miami this week with attempting to funnel $800,000 in illegal campaign donations (in cash, in a suitcase) to now-President Cristina Fernandez from high levels of the Venezuelan government. Fernandez is claiming a smear job, the Venezuelans (with whom she’s promised better relations) aren’t talking and the four dudes who arranged the transaction are facing major jail time. The dude that carried the suitcase o’ cash, though, is definitely not getting extradited to Argentina any time soon. Guess we know who the cooperating witness is! [Yahoo News]

Guess who’s maybe getting engaged to Karl Rove’s former intern? The great Holocaust author Jenna Bush, that’s who! MORE »

We’ve got more than three amigos for you this week because Wonk’d doesn’t take snow days, even in a celebrity storm like this one: Vicente Fox doing his Borat impersonation, Bill Cosby not eating at Ben’s, Fred Barnes with his head in the ground, and Joe “That’s Right Motherfuckers” Lockhart partying with some girls who are way past wild and into ludicrous, also Ludacris.

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