Having successfully completed a hilarious stack of FAIL on Tax Day, the Teabagging Cultists will next flap their testicles against the mouth of 9/11, our nation’s most holy day of remembrance. Just six months or so from right now, the fantastic teabagging momentum will strike again, as America sheds its tears over the anniversary of the September 11, 2001 attacks on the places wingnuts and teabaggers hate most: Washington DC and New York City. MORE »

A transition of power, combined with the crumbling economy, leaves America very vulnerable to the Terrorists. It is very clear to them, the Terrorists, that we do not have our shit together, at all. We have three presidents and 42 cents of real wealth; we grow a lot of corn. If you were a Terrorist looking at this, you’d just want to fucking bomb it, right? This is why we should have elected Republicans, America, because they know two things: (1) camels are from the Middle East and (2) filthy Mexicans are always sneaking into our country and then giving AIDS to our children. And yesterday two camels were seen wandering around a Mexican border city, trying to blend in, acting all cool, keeping it real discreet-like. It’s pretty clear, then, that the Arab Terrorists are coming from Mexico to, uh, eat yr brains. MORE »

The sleeping beast sleepeth no more, DO YOU SEE? Weekly Standard editor and New York Times dandy Bill Kristol appears to have flipped the website back on for the Project for the New American Century (PNAC), the famous congregation of neocons who love declaring war on all Arabs, always. WHAT EVIL THINGS WILL THEY PLAN NOW? Why the election of Sarah Palin, of course! [Wonk Room]

Toby Keith, the terrible country music singer who has spent the last seven years laughing at Arabs for getting killed by American bombs (2002 lyric: “we lit up your world like the Fourth of July”), is inexplicably a Democrat who supports Obama. This makes no sense. Perhaps he is one of those “Peter Beinart Democrats” who saturated our magazines and newspapers in the years after 9/11 — you know, like “we want sweeping health care reform, but we also really like bombing the shit out of Arabs.” Joe Lieberman is the worst … Wait, what was the question? Oh yes: weird redneck Toby Keith is a Democrat for Obama. [AP]

Thanks to Wonkette niche blog operative “Colin” for introducing us to the blog “BLACK MEN FOR MCCAIN.” Who knew! Unfortunately one of these black men is pissed as all get-out at McCain’s Online Store. He notes that the store sells tee shirts for the following groups — Women For McCain, Irish For McCain, Jewish Americans For McCain, Hispanics For McCain, Asian & Pacific Islanders For McCain, and Arab Americans For McCain — but none for our swarthiest brethren. He writes, “I’m black, proud, and I want a damn T-shirt. I have contacted the McCain campaign and received no reply. I think it’s safe to assume that if Arab Americans get their own shirt, Black Men are not asking too much…” It’s rather impressive (impressive?) that neocon bomb & blood fetishist John McCain expects more ARAB votes than black votes. [Black Men For McCain]

America’s finest opinion-writer-of, Peggy Noonan, recently visited an airport somewhere — possibly in West Texas, Oklahoma or Central California. She is the Merle Haggard of the Jet Age, the Woody Guthrie of business travel. Also, she is an old white lady and the TSA minorities are sticking the beeping wand between her withered old thighs, and that ain’t right! It’s unnatural, as she is not even an Arab! Let’s enjoy an Okie-Dog of Metaphors with the Op-Ed Princess of Bloomingdale’s, after the jump.

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* One bald man will beat another. [Wizbang Politics]
* The real victim in the whole Valerie Plame thing was Norman Pearlstine. [Fresh Intelligence]
* We all hate Hillary and Rudy, so of course they’re way, way ahead. [Election Central]
* The Jews that run the media and the Democratic Party are out to destroy Fred Thompson. [Hot Air]
* US should stop teaching Iraqis how to kill people until US troops get out of the way of the bullets. [Iraq Slogger]
* German people are angry because some Arabs are building a very tall mosque. [LGF]
* Any day now Sam Brownback is going to make a comeback. [Political Insider]
* Though George Bush is sure to be vindicated by history, the short term may need some other kind of solution. [Redstate]

Hey everybody, Michele Malkin somehow went even crazier. America’s least-favorite self-hating immigrant now thinks her name is “John Doe” because … well, we have no idea why. It’s Malkin, so anything can mean anything at any time. But whatever she’s up to usually has something to do with her firm belief that Invisible Liberal Arabs need to be locked up in World War II concentration camps.

Take our exciting quiz and win an invisible Arab prize, after the jump.

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A Wonkette operative notes that Santorum’s people are filling a dumpster with unwanted books from his Senate offices. What kind of stuff do they like in Rick’s World? Scary books about The Gays, that’s what! These are allegedly actual books being tossed out today: MORE »