Tag Archives: arabic

  Uncle Dumbass from Slidell

Confederate Loser Buys Delicious ISIS Cake From Walmart Bakery, Doesn’t Eat It

ISIS cake spokesmodel
Gather ’round, little children, for we have a heartwarming story about Walmart, ISIS, cake, and this one Louisiana dumbass named Chuck Netzhammer, who is very sad about how America is stomping all over his beloved traitor Confederate flag. So, because he thinks he is S-M-R-T, he went to the Walmart and said probably something along the lines of “please make me a cake with my favorite flag in the world on it, the one that represents the seditious loser nation that lost the Civil War, for if I do not get this cake, I fear I will never achieve erection again.” Walmart was like “nah, bro.” Netzhammer then had A Idea, so he changed tactics and requested the flag of ANOTHER loser “nation,” the Islamic State, also known as ISIS, or if you are a loser president like Obama, “ISIL.” Read more on Confederate Loser Buys Delicious ISIS Cake From Walmart Bakery, Doesn’t Eat It…
  E Plebnista Redux

New York School Profanes American Flag With Arabic Pledge, Burn It All Down!

These are Yang worship words! You will not say them!
Remember when you read in your high school history books about the wave of anti-German hysteria in America during the first World War, when publishers of German-language newspapers were hounded out of business, German street names were changed, some schools stopped teaching the German language, and idiots reportedly stoned dachshunds to death for being traitorous foreign doggies? Remember how quaint and provincial and xenophobic those people seemed? Read more on New York School Profanes American Flag With Arabic Pledge, Burn It All Down!…
  side haboob

Texans Don’t Care For Your Heathen Muslin Dust Storms, National Weather Service

Like the good, decent, patriotic paranoid wingnuts of Arizona a couple years back, the good, decent, patriotic paranoid wingnuts of Texas know a threat to all that’s good and holy and American when they see one, and what they saw on the Facebook page for Lubbock station KCBD last week was an invasion of creeping Sharia weather: the station reposted a National Weather Service bulletin that a Haboob was approaching the Lubbock area. And like decent Americans, they freaked the fuck out about the station using a “meddle eastern term [sic]” instead of the perfectly normal American “dust storm.” “Since when do we need to apply a Muslim vocabulary to a good ole AMERICAN dirt storm?? …I take great offense to such terminology! GO BACK TO CALLING THEM DIRT STORMS!!” “It’s called a dust storm..Texas is not a rag head country.” “Never had a haboob until we got that Muslim boob for POTUS.” “John Robinson [the station’s meteorologist] wants to call it a Haboob, let him MOVE to where a SAND STORM is called that!!!!!!!!!!” Sadly, the station appears to have scrubbed that particular post from their Facebook page, possibly because they just don’t want the evidence of their support for Muslin Weather to be public. Yr Wonkette is on the record as favoring the term “haboob,” because boobs. Read more on Texans Don’t Care For Your Heathen Muslin Dust Storms, National Weather Service…
  all the derp that's fit to herp

Derp Roundup: Your Weekly Cache Of Crazy

Happy Saturday, Wonkaroonies, and welcome to another installment of Derp Roundup, where we stomp on a bunch of stories that were too stoopid to ignore altogether, but not quite enough to do a full post on, to squeeze out whatever funny may still be in them. If the mixture tastes a little off, add booze. (This almost exactly how they make “Sunny Delight.”) Item Numero Uno is not strictly Political Derp, but we do Media Derp, too. Plus it is from Yr Dok Zoom’s own hometown of Boise, Idaho. On Thursday, KIVI teevee sportsball guy Paul Gerke did his entire four-minute segment in costume and character as Ron Burgundy, which we understand was a character played by the great comedic actor “Kevin Nealon.” It’s just about the most press that our fair city has gotten since the Broncos won the Siesta Bowl sportsball tournament a few years ago, so we are obliged to write about it. Thanks for the national attention, Deadspin! Nice for Idaho to get some attention that involves neither neo-nazis nor Senator Widestance. Video after the jump, for those of you who are into celebrity impressions that add a Minnesota accent to a character that didn’t originally have one. Read more on Derp Roundup: Your Weekly Cache Of Crazy…
  the birthers are now the ringers

WND: Obama Gay Married Islam

It’s been nearly…oh, a few days, maybe, since there was an insane conspiracy theory about Barack Obama, so of course there’s another one! Barack Obama has a wedding ring, and unlike a normal American male, it is slightly fancy with squiggles and shit. Dr. Jerome Corsi, Ph.D., has investigated the ring through blurry, pixelated pictures and also consulted noted Islamic ring expert Mark A. Gabriel (who has a doctorate in “Christian Education”) who says without a doubt that the pictures of the ring are almost entirely certainly Islamic. Egyptian-born Islamic scholar Mark A. Gabriel, Ph.D., examined photographs of Obama’s ring at WND’s request and concluded that the first half of the Shahada is inscribed on it. “There can be no doubt that someone wearing the inscription ‘There is no god except Allah’ has a very close connection to Islamic beliefs, the Islamic religion and Islamic society to which this statement is so strongly attached,” Gabriel told WND. Below, the indisputable pictorial evidence that will convince you beyond a doubt that Obama’s ring…has squiggles on it? Read more on WND: Obama Gay Married Islam…
  lol comments

American Web Commenters Very Upset About Arab-Speaking Nations Getting Terrorist Version of Internet

If you are an elitist internationalist with a nancy-boy education, the news that internet top-level domains will now be available in other alphabets was probably not a direct threat to your precious freedoms and sexuality. You probably didn’t even give a damn, right? Well, this is why you’re sitting around getting vegetarian-sushi recipes off your iPad while REAL AMERICA burns in its own toxic excrement. Types one important American commenter/thinker: “Geez. Now they can hatch their plots more easily! Seriously, who cares?” Yeah, right! Wait what? Read more on American Web Commenters Very Upset About Arab-Speaking Nations Getting Terrorist Version of Internet…
  should carry us through the week

Barack Obama, Speaking Arabic, Media Insanity, Etc.

Let’s get it out of the way: Barack Obama said a word in Arabic to the Saudi King! How many of these Arabic “words” does he secretly know? What we need is more Ed Henry-type reporter antiheroes to pin this down, before “Judgment Day.” Read more on Barack Obama, Speaking Arabic, Media Insanity, Etc….

The FBI Agent and the Naughty Librarians

Bassem Youssef used to play by the rules. As an FBI agent, he help coordinate the investigation into the first World Trade Center bombing; he infiltrated Sheik Omar Abdul Rahman’s terror organization in an undercover operation; and he worked out of the U.S. Embassy in Saudi Arabia coordinating the FBI’s relationship with 7 other countries. But, then, because there are so many incompetents at the FBI with foriegn-y sounding names (and several without), he got mistaken for someone who sucked and taken off important stuff. After that, it was a downhill slide for Bassem, right into the loving and subversive arms of the American Library Association. Read more on The FBI Agent and the Naughty Librarians…

Gossip Roundup: Back in the Classroom

Heard on the Hill: Sen. Bill Frist‘s middle son Jonathan has a Facebook profile, complete with “hunky photos” and strange group affiliations. . . Oxygen is recruiting for a reality show called “Capitol Hill Girls”. . . Jack Abramoff listed Rep. Bob Ney‘s golf handicap, but the congressman doesn’t even play. [Roll Call] Read more on Gossip Roundup: Back in the Classroom…