And you thought it was hard being an old person! Imagine being an innocent jet, of either the fighter or the passenger variety. You would be completely penniless, thanks to a pack of flightless bipeds in the United States Congress. MORE »

You know what John McCain hates, even more than trollops and socialism? EARMARKS, which generally constitute a very small amount of any budget bill. Yesterday he threw a fit on the Senate floor about how Barack Obama did not hate earmarks enough, and then he introduced an amendment to banish all earmarks from the government funding bill now making its way through Congress. That amendment failed, of course. MORE »

Apparently, the Senate Retirement Home Resident Life Committee has noticed that Senator Robert Byrd is old. Really, really old. And despite being so old he can’t really get around or run an Appropriations Committee hearing without the assistance of aides, he’s still chairing the committee- which, you’ll recall, hasn’t been able to complete its sole task of passing appropriations bills. This has some people plotting, naturally.

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Did you think it was only arch-conservatives who wanted us all to stop fucking? Citizens For Government Waste examined all the earmarks in the Labor-HHS appropriations bill and found $882,025 in earmarks for abstinence-only education programs in Pennsylvania. What nefarious conservative put in all 25 earmarks? Why, “moderate” Pennsylvania Senator Arlen Specter. Money well spent, sir. It’s not like those programs are completely ineffective or anything. [Citizens for Government Waste, Congressional Research Service]