appalachian trail

When Mark Sanford — the disgraced former governor of South Carolina, wannabe-but-not-gonna-be congressman from the state’s 1st Congressional District, and the world’s most enthusiastic trail-hiker EVER — isn’t losing a debate to a cardboard cut-out of Nancy Pelosi, or losing a debate to his actual opponent Elizabeth Colbert Busch, or violating the terms of his […]

Oh, Mark Sanford, your personal life is really an unending delight. There was the disappearance mid-governorship, which gave us a delightful euphemism for sexytime that we can use now and forever more. There was the divorce. There was the soulmate. There were the emails of wooing that we hope never to read again.  There was […]

Oh happy day! We awake to the joyous tidings that former governor Mark Sanford (R-Appalachian Trail) and his lady love, that chick he was flying off to South America to bang, have sealed their passions with an engagement! It’s like a fairy tale, you guys! The [Argentine] paper [Clarin] said Sanford arrived early at the […]

CHILDREN’S STORY HOUR: “Mr. Sanford’s spokesman, Joel Sawyer, just sent out a notice saying the governor would hold a news conference at 2 p.m. in the Statehouse.” Oh yes, we will liveblog this, provided some television networks carry Governor Sanford’s brief and fanciful explanation for his prolonged absence this weekend. [The Caucus]

What in holy Hell has Mark Sanford been up to? He did NOT go nude tree-humping with a bunch of federally funded nature queers on the Appalachian Trail this weekend; instead, he went to Buenos Aires. Anybody who has left the house thinking they’d like to go on a local nature hike and ended up […]

We feel a bit sorry for treefucker Mark Sanford’s communications department, like this harried spokesperson Joel Sawyer, who probably knows only these facts: Sanford grabbed a pair of keys at some point Thursday, told everyone in the office, “Enjoy working, losers, I’ll be back in a week or whenever,” smacked the secretary’s ass on his […]

South Carolina granola hippie Mark Sanford just couldn’t take the pressure, man, so he put on his Tevas and headed up to the mountains to clear his head. Nothing like some Kinhin walking meditation to get the fear of The Man — that man, the prez — out of your soul. At least out here […]

As the authorities trace his phone calls so as to locate him and his wife “Jenny” drinks bottle after bottle of zinfandel and morphine in sweatpants while watching her programs, South Carolina Governor Mark Sanford, a “2012 presidential hopeful,” is currently getting cover from his staff for his insane disappearance. They’ve been claiming all day […]