Tag: appalachian trail

Mark Sanford Leaves The Appalachian Trail; Also, That Chick He Was Banging

Here's a great way to round out the week: A trillion-word Ode To My Sorrowful Self by our favorite trail-hiking-enthusiast-slash-lovah, the dishonorable Rep. Mark Sanford (R-"Appalachia"). I apologize for the length of this post, but given the gravity of the...

Mark Sanford Not Allowed To Fly Airplanes At His Children Anymore

When Mark Sanford -- the disgraced former governor of South Carolina, wannabe-but-not-gonna-be congressman from the state's 1st Congressional District, and the world's most enthusiastic trail-hiker EVER -- isn't losing a debate to a cardboard cut-out of Nancy Pelosi, or...

Mark Sanford Just Can’t Stop Doing Stupid Things In Public, Trespassing Edition

Oh, Mark Sanford, your personal life is really an unending delight. There was the disappearance mid-governorship, which gave us a delightful euphemism for sexytime that we can use now and forever more. There was the divorce. There was the...

Mazel Tov And L’Chaim To That SC Governor Who Ran Off To Argentina And His New Mistress Betrothed!

Oh happy day! We awake to the joyous tidings that former governor Mark Sanford (R-Appalachian Trail) and his lady love, that chick he was flying off to South America to bang, have sealed their passions with an engagement! It's...

CHILDREN'S STORY HOUR: "Mr. Sanford’s spokesman, Joel Sawyer, just sent out a notice saying the governor would hold a news conference at 2 p.m. in the Statehouse." Oh yes, we will liveblog this, provided some television networks carry Governor...

Sanford Went On Sexy Solo Vacation To Buenos Aires, Not Appalachia

What in holy Hell has Mark Sanford been up to? He did NOT go nude tree-humping with a bunch of federally funded nature queers on the Appalachian Trail this weekend; instead, he went to Buenos Aires. Anybody who has...

Mark Sanford Will Pretend To Return Tomorrow

We feel a bit sorry for treefucker Mark Sanford's communications department, like this harried spokesperson Joel Sawyer, who probably knows only these facts: Sanford grabbed a pair of keys at some point Thursday, told everyone in the office, "Enjoy...

Welfare-Nature Queer Mark Sanford Using Stimulus Money On Appalachian Trail

South Carolina granola hippie Mark Sanford just couldn't take the pressure, man, so he put on his Tevas and headed up to the mountains to clear his head. Nothing like some Kinhin walking meditation to get the fear of...

Where The Dickens Is That Rascal Mark Sanford?

As the authorities trace his phone calls so as to locate him and his wife "Jenny" drinks bottle after bottle of zinfandel and morphine in sweatpants while watching her programs, South Carolina Governor Mark Sanford, a "2012 presidential hopeful,"...