Tag: apocalypse

Boob Says 'Titties'

Republicans Really Worried Their Guy Might Become President

Some Republican consultants are all kinds of worried about the Trumpenstein's Monster their party has unleashed. Poor things.

MRA Dude Is Gonna Be SO COOL After The Apocalypse, You Don’t Even Know

He might even get to have sex! (Maybe.)
Jesus needs to fix everybody in this week's Top Ten.

Dumb Duggars, Bristol Palin And Gross Kevin McCarthy. Your Weekly Top Ten!

Oh hi, Wonkers! It's Sunday afternoon, which means we're going to yammer at you for a minute before we go eat bloody marys for brunch. We hope you are having a nice weekend and your favorite sportsball team is playing in a...
Hello, IT. Have you tried forcing an unexpected reboot?

Doomsday e-Church Tries Turning Apocalypse Off And On Again: Your Saturday Nerdout

Happy Saturday, nerds! As you may have noticed, the world did not end Wednesday, even though it was very definitely supposed to, and it seems that the only people surprised by this development were the members of the eBible...
If it's one thing I can't stand, it's people groveling.

God Tells Televangelist Felon To Wear Black Panties, Probably Means World IS Ending

Oh hi! Are you still here? UNPOSSIBLE, because we told you the world is ending today, this day, Wednesday the seventh day of the tenth month of the year of your lord, two thousand ’n change. This is according...
Hunka Hunka Burnin' Planet

World’s Going To End Wednesday. Wear Something Nice!

You may have been pretty relieved when we dodged the Mormon Apocalypse last week, what with the supermoon lunar eclipse not ushering in any Utah-destroying earthquakes or United Nations invasions. Well, wouldn't you know it, another, completely different bunch of...

End Of World Off To Slow Start

Hey, everybody, better get your butts out of bed and off to your jobs after all, because it looks like the Mormon Apocalypse has failed to materialize. At least, so far. As we noted in our earlier story, some...

Reverend Billy Graham, Devil-Expert Charlie Daniels Totally Sure The Rapture-Christ-Pocalypse Is Near, For Real This Time

Aw yeah, it's that time again folks. The end times, you hear? Time to get right with the Lord and take stock of your personal relationship with Jesus Christ, because the apocalypse trend is back again, hotter than hell-fire....

What’s Bringing On The Apocalypse This Week? How About Immigration Reform?

Just in case plain old hating Messicans wasn't enough reason to oppose immigration reform, Texas wingnut extraordinaire Cathie Adams, the former state GOP chair and current president of Texas Schlafly Rangers Eagle Forum, has found a new reason: on...

Bolivia Expels Coca-Cola Because of the Apocalypse

Sometimes your Wonkette gets so carried away lamenting the ills of American politics that we ignore the bigger picture: The Mayan Apocalypse is coming at the end of the year, and then we won't have to worry about any...

California Destroyed By Blustery Day

Back when California used to have the nation's top public schools (instead of the worst) and biggest state park system (instead of locked-gate meth-lab forests) along with lots of good-paying jobs and an entire population of fit, beautiful, tattoo-free...

Massive U.S. Power Outages To Get Much Worse, More Frequent

Oh, sad face again: Millions are still without power in the U.S. Northeast, for about the fifth time this year. Whether caused by hurricanes, October blizzards, tornadoes, earthquakes or mysteriously unknown reasons, the East Coast has been slammed by...

500 Riot Cops Attack #OccupyOakland With Tear Gas, Rubber Bullets

What will it be like when America's tensed-up trigger-finger cops are finally let loose upon the populist demonstrations all over the country? We got a pretty good preview early this morning in Oakland, where the Darth Vader-masked shock troops...

Cops Now Hunting Escaped Zoo Monsters

How are things in the American Heartland this morning? Very terrible, according to this video news report from ... a comedy blog? A superhero musical? No, it's from the Associated Press. In other news, the Founders of Democracy over...

Eric Cantor Will Just Say It Already: No Hurricane Relief Without Cuts

Welcome to Hurricane Irene's "Rapture Part 2!" Haha, does anyone ever get the feeling that the news media is praying for the apocalyptic demise of America's populous cities harder than Pat Buchanan? We read the news this morning (especially...