The AP has a funny article up about rich Arab princes buying camels for beauty pageants. Either the AP writer or her editor was masturbating furiously when thinking about these hot, slutty camel minxes, because look at the glorious camel typo:

Camels are registered for beauty contest in several categories, defined by age and skin color. The owners of the top three camels in each category split a $US2 million price fund and each receive a car from a pool of more than 100 4×4 vehicles and pickup trucks.

Five judges asses the camels’ bodies as a whole and their necks, heads, lips, noses, humps, legs and feet separately.

GO ON… [AP] MORE »

This is John McCain at his shanty in Arizona, which he represents in the Senate. [Getty Photo]

APRIL FOOL’S, GOT YOU: It’s actually an AP photo. Haw haw haw!

Mitt Romney joined his “successful” nemesis John McCain on the campaign trail yesterday, and they raised some cash from Mormon Fat Cats and other mountain men in Denver and Salt Lake City. They even rode together on John McCain’s stupid little plane. But Mitt wants to be McCain’s vice president, and McCain wants to woo the “Romney Wing” of the Republican party — Space Elves — so they had to play it nice for the cameramen. Look at how gay they were with each other yesterday, ha ha! The full gay photo tour, after the jump. MORE »

So the AP is doing this big feature on our Five Glorious Years of War In Iraq, and the story will be called, obviously, “Five Years In Iraq: The Blogger War.” And it is illustrated with, of course, a file photo of this Broadway theater during the thrilling run of the musical celebration Hitler’s Children, featuring the legendary blogger Xavier Cugat and, necessarily, the comedic stylings of Henny Youngman. The question is, Who do we need to go back in time and kill in order to prevent all of this from happening? MORE »

Remember the hilarious dance routine Bush did last week to distract us all from his endorsement of Elderly nut John McCain? There is video proof, thanks to the Associated Press! Enjoy this while we wait for the video of Bush’s gay-cowboy Broadway debut. [Associated Press]

Oh, hi Mr. President George W. Bush with the 19% approval rating. What the hell are you doing? Maybe the AP photo caption can help us understand your current problem. Here we go: This three-picture combination of photographs shows President Bush dancing on the North Portico of the White House in Washington, Wednesday, March 5, 2008, as he awaits the arrival of Republican presidential nominee-in-waiting, Sen. John McCain, R-Ariz. (AP Photo/Charles Dharapak). He just can’t stop dancing! Let’s enjoy all the photos of this historic thing that just happened — you know, when Bush Jr. endorsed a tiny little elderly dwarf — after the jump. MORE »

Here’s your beloved president, just after he landed in Waco, Texas. That’s where he goes for his vacations. Loves it there. Loves his dog, too. Good dog. Name’s Barney. “See over there, Barney? That’s where Clinton killed them Branch Koreans. Good people.” MORE »

Lest we get overly concerned with the Texas and Ohio firewall primaries on March 4, the real contest that day is up in heathen Rhode Island, where Hillary spent her Sunday! She donned a yellow sweater that bore the name of that very same state. But what is her plan to win that state? Let’s see if we can determine it through this batch of revealing AP photos. MORE »

The best AP article ever, in its entirety:

WASHINGTON (AP) — The Senate Ethics Committee says Idaho Sen. Larry Craig acted improperly in a men’s room sex sting. In a letter Wednesday, the ethics panel says Craig’s attempt to withdraw his guilty plea in a June arrest at a Minneapolis airport was an effort to evade legal consequences of his own actions.

The letter says Craig’s actions brought discredit on the Senate.

The panel took no further action.

Zing? [AP/Google]

In a story titled “Bush, Congress hit bottom in AP poll,” the dutiful AP scribe, Alan Fram, offers some breakthrough analysis in his lede: “WASHINGTON - It’s almost as if people can barely stand the thought of President Bush and Congress anymore.” Is that you, Fram, or just the terrorists talking? [AP/Yahoo]

Hey look, a bunch of wire photographers went to harass Barack Obama’s grandmother, Sarah Hussein Obama, at her chicken home in Kenya today! I suppose this has some sort of… historical significance about the changing face of American politics and the international dialogue on race and what not? All I see is Barack’s grandma and a damn rooster running around. [AP Photo]