Tag: ap

Trump Advises Advisers He Doesn’t Want Their Advice. Wonkagenda for Thurs., Aug 17, 2017

Trump is mad at people telling him what to do, Bannon is showboating, and Trump's lawyer fires off a creepy racist email. Your morning news brief.

Trump Can’t Stop, Won’t Stop! (Spilling Secrets.) Wonkagenda For Wed., May 17, 2017

Even Jason Chaffetz is pretending to grow a spine. Plus you see this crazy shit with the Turkish dictator's bodyguards kicking protesters' asses on DC's Embassy Row?

Donald Trump Thought Presidenting Would Be Easy As Grabbing This Pussy

REALLY? ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING US RIGHT NOW? FOR REAL?

The 83 Most Embarrassing Moments In Donald Trump’s AP Interview

This is the leader of the world's sole superpower, everyone. TAKE A BOW.
Get ready to be sick of winning

Donald Trump Saves Eight Congressional Ethics Jobs From Going To Mexico! (OR DOES HE?)

DEAR MEDIA: STOP GIVING DONALD TRUMP CREDIT FOR THINGS HE DIDN'T DO.

Ocean About To Run Out Of Bluefin Tuna, Life Not Worth Living Any More

So yeah. That's a thing now. BRB, weeping profusely and lamenting the downfall of everything worthwhile in the universe. The AP got their hands on a draft summary of a report from International Scientific Committee for Tuna and Tuna-like Species...
Sad Brazil fan is sad.

Sportsball Year In Review: It Was Mostly Awful!

Sports! Oh man, sports, aren't they great? Shut up, they are too. Here now is your 2014 Wonkette Sportsball Year In Review, because why not? Off-field Hits Plague NFL Sorry to break this to you, Wonketeers, but the NFL remains the...

If This Dog Were Black, The AP Would Say It ‘Looted’ This Wallet

The AP reports -- via the Juneau Empire -- that Maltese pup "Lady Bunny" "found" a dude's wallet, which last he saw was right in his pocket. The AP, calling the dog's deed "great," does not even question whether Lady...

AP Retracts Story Claiming Terry McAuliffe Did A Fraud Because He Did Not Do The Fraud

It's perfectly understandable how someone might see the initials "TM" on a legal document and instantly think "candidate for governor of Virginia and former Clinton jerk Terry McAuliffe!" and then write a widely circulated story about how Terry McAuliffe...

Celebritrash Side-Boob Rag: Obama Worse Than Nixon!

The patriots at Globe Magazine have been warning us from the very start that this Obama was a menace, but did we listen? No, and shame be upon us! Where the hell were we back in February of 2008,...

Murderous Charlatan Donald Rumsfeld Still Terrible At Math

Here is a link to a video, since CNN's embed code is totally borked, for anyone who cares what a disgraced and discredited old sociopath thinks about anything. It is your third most favorite unindicted war criminal, Donald Rumsfeld!...

Alberto Gonzales Offers Totally Hypothetical Example Of How To Investigate, Say, A Leaked CIA Agent’s Name

Well, this is ... this is ... we don't even ... FUCK! So, there is a bit of kerfuffle and a hullabaloo about the Department of Justice getting a very narrow slice of two months' worth of phone records from...

Nice Time: Joe Biden Does Thing

Hey friends! Have you been fighting with your fellow commenters, and all your Twitter friends, and every other liberal in the universe over whether ERIC HOLDER NEEDS TO FUCKING GO, or whether if you say the president did a...

Anchor Baby Michelle Malkin So Mad About Immigrants For A Change

Anchor baby Michelle Malkin is flabbercensed, y'all, about the Associated Press changing its stylebook to avoid namecalling immigrants who don't have all their paperwork in one sock put the final nail in the Lamestream Media's coffin. Not only...

New AP Poll: Americans Are Dumb And Petty, Like Always (And Also Romney Is Winning)

OH CRAP ROMNEY'S AHEAD BY TWO POINTS IN THE LATEST AP POLL AND THE LADIES ALL LOVE HIM NOW TIME TO FREAK OUT??? No, don't worry, libs, your math and numbers boyfriend Nate Silver still has Barry with a...