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Posts Tagged ‘antonin scalia’

OUR FLOURISHING JUDICIAL BRANCH

Scalia Goes Nuts During Christian-y Court Case

Thursday, October 8th, 2009

The prettiest memorial of allOne of the very very important court cases the Supreme Court is tackling during its first week back is Salazar vs. Buono, about “whether a 5-foot cross on federal government land in the Mojave National Preserve violates the Constitution’s Establishment Clause.” This dumb cross is a memorial to World War I, specifically, and it is currently BOARDED UP because one religion or another got mad at the Christian religion. These people are all completely insane. But most insane is Antonin Scalia, who got all hot and bothered during Tuesday’s hearing! MORE »


WISE LATINA OWLS

Oh, and Sonia Sotomayor Is Now a Supreme Court Justice

Tuesday, September 8th, 2009

We are ALL wise Latinas now.
What with all the youth indoctrination and the video death panels and the actual Hitler plot to provide basic health care for working Americans, we almost forgot it was also Sonia Sotomayor’s fake first day on the nation’s highest court! No real work today, just a photo op, and here’s the touching photo! The only real question is WHAT THE HELL IS SCALIA UP TO? HE IS CREEPING US OUT. Maybe he’s just happy for real, because there’s finally another Italian on the Supreme Court? Anyway, remember all the bogus outrage about Sotomayor, a million years few weeks ago? All forgotten. Let the SCOTUS-controlled redistribution of wealth commence! [White House Flickr]


NASTY IMPOLITE QUESTIONS

Scalia Outraged By Student’s Offensive Question About Cameras

Thursday, February 5th, 2009

The student has been extradited to Guantanamo.If you have ever tuned to CSPAN late at night, hoping for something truly dull to put you to sleep, you have probably wondered why you never see Supreme Court arguments. The reason is that Justice Scalia doesn’t like cameras, or informing the public! A college junior recently asked him at a luncheon put on by the Palm Beach County Forum Club and Bar Association why he doesn’t like cameras in the courtroom, and he got totally shirty with her. MORE »


LEGISLATIN' FROM THE BENCH

Supreme Court Strikes Down D.C. Handgun Ban, Immediately Shoots At Random People

Thursday, June 26th, 2008

They’ve been talking about it for a while, but the ACTIVIST judges of the Supreme Court today struck down Washington, D.C.’s ban on handgun ownership, voting along Ideological Lines. Hooray! Because we all have guns, and now we don’t have to hide them under our pillows with the safety off anymore, which was not safe in the first place. Justice Antonin Scalia’s majority opinion went along the lines of: “If a bunch of blacks in Anacostia shoot each other, how the hell does that affect me, Tony Scalez?” [Washington Post]


REPUBLICANS

Scalia Tells Haters To Get Over Bush v. Gore

Friday, April 25th, 2008

He wins, you loseSupreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia would like all you Sad Sallies who are still sore over the 2000 election (which he personally decided, on a bet) to hike up your panties and get over it. “That was like so ten minutes ago,” he tells 60 Minutes‘ Leslie Stahl in an interview to be aired this weekend. Scalia explains that he is great friends with Ruth Bader Ginsburg and other known liberals whom he has had the graciousness not to murder or even jail in their many years on the Supreme Court. And then he lets loose with a shocking revelation! MORE »


SUPREME COURT

Scalia’s Daughter Gets DUI, Fails To Kill Her Children

Thursday, May 31st, 2007

dunce.jpgGuess who else is a drunky driver? The 45-year-old daughter of Supreme Court Justice and heterosexual ass-fucking activist Antonin Scalia, that’s who! MORE »


SUPREME COURT

Scott v. Harris Most Thrilling, Chilling SCOTUS Case Since The People v. Mad Max

Monday, February 26th, 2007

Appeal for speed -- granted! - WonketteThe Supreme Court is currently hearing Scott v. Harris, which is deciding whether a cop who rammed a speeding car used unnecessary deadly force. Which sounds pretty ho-hum, sure, but this one has a kick-ass car chase video. MORE »


JOHN MCCAIN

Daily Briefing: The Biggest Nuts

Tuesday, February 20th, 2007

* President’s Day trip to Mount Vernon inspires George W. Bush to say of George Washington, “He is I, and I am him.” [NYT]
* Hillary Clinton swallows the “you go, girl” sloganeering, impresses black voters in South Carolina. [WP, NYT]
* John McCain was also in South Carolina yesterday, flip-flopping and cracking Rumsfeld jokes to the delight of morons everywhere. [AP]
* The rise and fall of Richard B. Cheney, “confrontationalist, warmonger, and happy talker.” [WP, NYT]
* The knee-slapping hilarity of “series of tubes” has subsided, leaving “series of pipes” to fill the vacuum. [WP]
* Freshman Rep. Kirsten Gillibrand works hard to prove she’s not just another MoCILF. [NYT]
* Forrest Gump, Rachel Green, James “Thunder” Early, and Malcom X write fat checks for Barack Obama. [NYT ]
* The ascendant Justice Scalia: tolerating pussy judges no more. [LAT]


CRIME

Justice Scalia’s Daughter, Like Father, Danger to Self, Others

Wednesday, February 14th, 2007

Justice Scalia and two chicks who aren't his daughter - WonketteYes, we know that Antonin Scalia’s daughter was arrested last night for drunk driving. MORE »


TOM DELAY

Rumors On The Internets: Kill What You Eat, Eat What You Kill

Wednesday, December 13th, 2006

* Justice Scalia has never known the agony of interpreting the Constitution on an empty stomach, wants the same for impoverished Federal Judges. [Outside the Beltway]
* The best idea Tom DeLay has to drive traffic to his blog is blaming Reagan for the Iraq war. [The Carpetbagger Report]
* Even if it was Reagan’s fault, the 109th Congress would gleefully name another half-dozen Post Offices after him. [Political Ticker]
* CNN holiday party had a kissing booth where Wolf Blitzer would say your name followed by, “Tonight, on the Make-Out Room.” [Fishbowl DC]
* Ted Nugent gets a little older and a little wiser today, still backs the “Nagasaki them” plan for Iraq. [Axis of Evel Knievel]


IRAQ

Daily Briefing: Ignorance is Pissed

Thursday, November 30th, 2006

* Iraq Study Group leaks its non-binding recommendations: they want to withdraw American troops, offer no timetable. [WP, NYT, LAT]
* President Bush also ignored by Iraqis, as Prime Minister Nuri Kamal al-Maliki ducks him at their so-called summit. [NYT]
* Bill Frist won’t run for president in 2008, cites influential Pete Seeger lyrics in announcement of decision. [WP, NYT, LAT]
* Majority of Americans think: Iraq is in civil war, Donald Rumsfeld’s ouster was needed, and that Robert Gates probably won’t be able to really change anything over there. [WSJ]
* One of “the most difficult and important” recommendations of the 9/11 Commission will be largely ignored by the Democratic Congress. [WP]
* Supreme Court hears first case on Greenhouse gas emissions. Antonin Scalia says, “I don’t want to have to deal with global warming.” [WP, NYT]
* States will try to bolster the public’s “fragile trust” in electronic voting machines before 2008. [WSJ]