Wonkette

They’ve been talking about it for a while, but the ACTIVIST judges of the Supreme Court today struck down Washington, D.C.’s ban on handgun ownership, voting along Ideological Lines. Hooray! Because we all have guns, and now we don’t have to hide them under our pillows with the safety off anymore, which was not safe in the first place. Justice Antonin Scalia’s majority opinion went along the lines of: “If a bunch of blacks in Anacostia shoot each other, how the hell does that affect me, Tony Scalez?” [Washington Post]

Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia would like all you Sad Sallies who are still sore over the 2000 election (which he personally decided, on a bet) to hike up your panties and get over it. “That was like so ten minutes ago,” he tells 60 Minutes‘ Leslie Stahl in an interview to be aired this weekend. Scalia explains that he is great friends with Ruth Bader Ginsburg and other known liberals whom he has had the graciousness not to murder or even jail in their many years on the Supreme Court. And then he lets loose with a shocking revelation! MORE »

Guess who else is a drunky driver? The 45-year-old daughter of Supreme Court Justice and heterosexual ass-fucking activist Antonin Scalia, that’s who! MORE »

The Supreme Court is currently hearing Scott v. Harris, which is deciding whether a cop who rammed a speeding car used unnecessary deadly force. Which sounds pretty ho-hum, sure, but this one has a kick-ass car chase video. MORE »

* President’s Day trip to Mount Vernon inspires George W. Bush to say of George Washington, “He is I, and I am him.” [NYT]
* Hillary Clinton swallows the “you go, girl” sloganeering, impresses black voters in South Carolina. [WP, NYT]
* John McCain was also in South Carolina yesterday, flip-flopping and cracking Rumsfeld jokes to the delight of morons everywhere. [AP]
* The rise and fall of Richard B. Cheney, “confrontationalist, warmonger, and happy talker.” [WP, NYT]
* The knee-slapping hilarity of “series of tubes” has subsided, leaving “series of pipes” to fill the vacuum. [WP]
* Freshman Rep. Kirsten Gillibrand works hard to prove she’s not just another MoCILF. [NYT]
* Forrest Gump, Rachel Green, James “Thunder” Early, and Malcom X write fat checks for Barack Obama. [NYT ]
* The ascendant Justice Scalia: tolerating pussy judges no more. [LAT]

Yes, we know that Antonin Scalia’s daughter was arrested last night for drunk driving. MORE »

* Justice Scalia has never known the agony of interpreting the Constitution on an empty stomach, wants the same for impoverished Federal Judges. [Outside the Beltway]
* The best idea Tom DeLay has to drive traffic to his blog is blaming Reagan for the Iraq war. [The Carpetbagger Report]
* Even if it was Reagan’s fault, the 109th Congress would gleefully name another half-dozen Post Offices after him. [Political Ticker]
* CNN holiday party had a kissing booth where Wolf Blitzer would say your name followed by, “Tonight, on the Make-Out Room.” [Fishbowl DC]
* Ted Nugent gets a little older and a little wiser today, still backs the “Nagasaki them” plan for Iraq. [Axis of Evel Knievel]

* Iraq Study Group leaks its non-binding recommendations: they want to withdraw American troops, offer no timetable. [WP, NYT, LAT]
* President Bush also ignored by Iraqis, as Prime Minister Nuri Kamal al-Maliki ducks him at their so-called summit. [NYT]
* Bill Frist won’t run for president in 2008, cites influential Pete Seeger lyrics in announcement of decision. [WP, NYT, LAT]
* Majority of Americans think: Iraq is in civil war, Donald Rumsfeld’s ouster was needed, and that Robert Gates probably won’t be able to really change anything over there. [WSJ]
* One of “the most difficult and important” recommendations of the 9/11 Commission will be largely ignored by the Democratic Congress. [WP]
* Supreme Court hears first case on Greenhouse gas emissions. Antonin Scalia says, “I don’t want to have to deal with global warming.” [WP, NYT]
* States will try to bolster the public’s “fragile trust” in electronic voting machines before 2008. [WSJ]

• Justice Scalia speaks out against “homosexual sodomy,” boy/girl buttlove still totally awesome. [Raw Story]

• That feeling of dying a little on the inside you get when you read about the latest thing the President has done? Yea, his father gets it too. [The Carpetbagger Report]
• Iraq is now in full-scale civil war. American troops will be unaffected as their orders remain, “just shoot everybody.” [The Swamp]
• If Venezuela gets the open seat on the UN Security Council, they will, “cockblock John Bolton at every turn.” [The Corsair]
• Cindy Sheehan planted her surgically removed uterus in the ground in Crawford, TX. [Hot Air]
• Bush now mining the fertile fields of late ’80s Tom Cruise movies for talking points. [HuffPo]
• Japan reconsidering nuclear weapons — if created, the warheads would be stored in a 5-missle changer available in either black or silver. [Captain's Quarters]

• House GOP leadership must admit to A. possible criminal conspiracy, B. complete incompetence, or C. a lingering hope that one day Mark Foley would start liking cocks with a little hair on them. [The Left Coaster]

• Brian Ross: a careerist Democratic mastermind who lied to influence the elections, and who even now sits at home rapping his fingers on a desk made from the bones of his crushed enemies. [The Jawa Report]
• Iranian uranium tourism to start soon, ribbon cutting by Johnny Knoxville. [Al Jazeera]
• There’s no fooling Justice Scalia, he knows no Mexican can resist the primordial call of the Cuervo. Further Scalia questioning concerned funny hats and laziness. [Above The Law]
• Don Sherwood wants you to know his drunken whoring never interfered with his tax cutting. [Hotline On Call]
• New Google “Truth Predictor” to instantly analyze bullshit from politicians, tell you if its brown and solid or green and runny. [Captains Quarters]
• Old Bush rips into young Bush’s Presidential style, or just forgets to mention his name — old people, can’t trust ‘em. [HuffPo]
• But you can count on them to keep a pulse going in the dead-tree news business, just ask Howard Dean’s mom. [Gawker]

• WMATA to hand out free bottles of water tonight at Dupont Circle station, after your sweaty ass foots it up the broken escalator they can’t figure out how to fix. [Metroblogging DC]

• WaPo reporter and HGTV decorator in pissy little pissing match. [Fishbowl DC]
• Never, ever underestimate the stupidity of tourists. [Eavesdrop DC]
• Venerable Italian restaurant closing, forcing Justice Scalia’s blood to return to only 40% pure parmigiana. [Metrocurean]