Wonkette

• YOU’RE ALL SCREWED: The fine folks who have been working tirelessly to transition your Wonkette to a new home have informed your editors of a wonderful new technological “feature.” Now when we ban your commenter accounts, we have the Nuclear Option of an IP address ban! This means you won’t be able to sneak your way back in, ever. Good luck, suckers!

YOU GOT YOUR POLITICS BLOG IN MY ALT-WEEKLY: If you’re in LA you can get a whole week’s worth of national political scandal & shame by picking up the newly redesigned City Beat. The column is called … Weekette! [LA City Beat]

• UNACCEPTABLE WONKETTE AD NOTED, REMOVED: Argh, so we go out to dinner and come back to see the former nice Obama T-shirts ad “updated” with Barack Obama as a monkey. Sweet. Ad is deleted. Thanks for letting us know. UPDATE: All the ads are gone now, as we can’t get that one ad to vanish. All fixed @ 2:37 a.m.

COMMENTERS: WE FEEL YR PAIN! We are aware of the ongoing tragedy, in that many of Wonkette’s loyal, bestest commenters are still locked out of the system, even though they’ve tried to re-register, and did everything as instructed. Hold tight; the tech team is working to fix it, and like Hillary, we shall overcome (these minor technical difficulties). Will post an update as soon as the problems are resolved. Sorry!

Late in the European Night, a new baby Wonkette was born. It is, of course, terribly deformed. But modern technical medicine can turn it into a beautiful, vulgar little swan. Your editors can’t really put up posts right now, due to a kind of monster called a “Domain Name Server.” (Your editor is sending this from a crashed spaceship.) Luckily there is no politics this morning, hurray! TIPS: If this page looks extra screwy, go to Tools or Privacy or whatever your browser has, and EMPTY THE CACHE, and EMPTY THE DOWNLOAD HISTORY, and then restart your browser and try again. Thank you, and next week you won’t remember any of this. (We put a roofie in your coffee.)

Hello Peoples! Remember that whole thing about your Wonkette getting a new home, and all that? Well, it is still true — and tonight, Wonkette will suffer the miracle of transmigration. What will this mean? How will you, the Wonkette Community, be affected? Will it hurt “down there”? Find out, after the jump.

1. The site itself should look basically the same, and should function in basically the same way, only better.

2. But it’s a website, on the Internet, which is a computer-based system, so of course some stuff is going to be way fucked up. If you see something weird, do us a favor and check again in an hour. If it’s still weird/broken, please sends us a note to the tips@ address with the subject line WONKETTE ES BROKED REPORT. (And please include your browser, browser version and operating system.)

3. YOU MAY HAVE TO RE-REGISTER TO COMMENT. We don’t know, for sure. But we warned you, long ago, last month (?), that we would require a new comment system, as the old comment system is actually just our little corner of the massive, billion-user Gawker Media commenting system, and it was impossible to take that with us, plus it does not belong to us. It is Gawker’s. (So you will still have your Gawker commenter logins/post pages/etc.) We are trying to move over as many of the old comments as possible. Hopefully they’ll be there tomorrow. If you have a God, pray to it.

4. That’s about it. Moving a five-year-old politics site with tens of thousands of individual posts going back to when Howard Dean was running for president, that is no easy task. The very good people at Pressflex and BlogAds are making this happen, with the very nice help of the fine peoples at Gawker. Thank you Henry, Miklos, Gaby, Nick, Gabriela, Tom, Levente, Scott, Zoltan, Erin, Zsolt, Jory, Christopher ….

5. And thank you nice people for reading, and commenting, and forwarding, and tipping, and for your Patience during the move, the end.

NOTE TO COMMENTERS: It would be lovely if you all didn’t sound like a bunch of misogynist, racist jackasses. Give it a try.

So, anything happening in the media news today? Wait, WHAT? Yes it’s true: Wonkette is bravely leaving the Gawker Media nest, along with Gawker’s music and travel sites. Why on Earth is a beloved publication such as Wonkette taking this plunge — during the biggest, nuttiest presidential election in 48 years — and are we being pushed? Six million page views in March, a million monthly unique visitors who are “somewhat male, more affluent [and] more educated” and who “read Gawker and subscribe to Vanity Fair” …. Why does Corporate America hate the “somewhat male” demographic? The answers may shock you! MORE »

BERNANKE SUGGESTS FED MIGHT KEEP LOWERING A KEY INTEREST RATE: Continued housing and credit crises blamed for sluggish economy. Happy Valentine’s Day, we are all doomed! [AP]

Your newest Wonkette associate still confuses Barry Goldwater with that other guy, the Democrat (McGeorge Bundy?), and spends her free time watching surgery programs on The Learning Channel. In other words, she’s got that perfect combination of seasoned inside-the-beltway perspective and an intimate working knowledge of enlarged livers that makes her the right person at the right time for Wonkette, until she gets fired. Exciting and detailed personal information, after the jump! MORE »