Tag Archives: announcements

  Your Morning Maddow

Morning Maddow: Brian Williams Gets Six Months, Jon Stewart Gets Life (Video)

Whaaat?
Tuesday night was just one big bucket of breaking media news, what with NBC news anchor Brian Williams getting suspended without pay for six months, effective immediately, and Jon Stewart announcing that he is leaving the Daily Show forever, effective eventually. Brian Williams has got to be feeling pretty darn lucky about the timing — Maddow leads with his suspension, of course, but what people will be talking about is Stewart’s departure. In fact, following her own show, Maddow went over to Lawrence O’Donnell’s studio and sat in on the panel discussing the changes — the Williams announcement got five or ten minutes, and the Stewart news took up the rest of the program. Read more on Morning Maddow: Brian Williams Gets Six Months, Jon Stewart Gets Life (Video)…
  Schock Week

Aaron Schock’s Staffer Resigns To Spend More Time Being Racist Jerk On Facebook

Aaron Schock Aaron Schock Aaron Schock Aaron Schock Aaron Schock
Aaron Schock Aaron Schock Aaron Schock Aaron Schock Aaron Schock. On Thursday, Think Progress posted a series of Facebook posts from Benjamin Cole, dreamy non-gay wingnut Aaron Schock’s press secretary or spokesman or communications director or senior aide or senior communications aide spokesdirector or whatever his title is — nobody seems to know for sure, wow, Schock and his staff sure like secrets, HUH? Read more on Aaron Schock’s Staffer Resigns To Spend More Time Being Racist Jerk On Facebook…
  not far enough from the tree

Liz Cheney Will Waterboard Wyoming Until It Makes Her Senator

Since Fox News does not (yet) have representation in the United States Senate, torture fan┬áLiz Cheney announced Tuesday afternoon that she is willing to let the state of Wyoming elect her in 2014, especially now that she owns a house there and everything. We now find ourselves in the curious position of kind of half-heartedly rooting for Mike Enzi, the conservative three-term senator whom Cheney will face in a primary next year, unless her dad taught her to do that thing where she holds her hand out in front of her and Enzi’s windpipe just collapses and she says she finds his lack of faith disturbing. That could happen, too. Read more on Liz Cheney Will Waterboard Wyoming Until It Makes Her Senator…
  important announcements regarding your wonkette

Your Wonkette Has a New Wonkette Publisher/Editor, For Freedom!

Good morning from your Wonkette editor since, oh, 2006. It has been an exciting (terrible?) six years, hasn’t it? There was old what’s his name, and Iraq, and the Great Recession, and then the sexy president with his singing and dancing all the time. And now your longtime editor will finally stop disappearing for months at a time and officially hand over this Important American Publication to a deserving and talented political writer/editor, Ms. Rebecca Schoenkopf. She is a feared and respected Liberal Woman, so the wingnuts will just love her (as they plot to send her to Gitmo). Also, Rebecca is a fancy book-writin’ author and is famous for being “Commie Girl,” the newspaper columnist who drove California Republicans insane for the OC Weekly. Wonkette.com is obviously going to become just like National Review’s “The Corner,” which was always the plan? Read more on Your Wonkette Has a New Wonkette Publisher/Editor, For Freedom!…
  important announcements regarding your wonkette

Everybody Please Prepare To Have Jim Newell Back At Wonkette, Next Week

HOORAY! That is what your semi-managing editor has to say about this important news, from your beloved past-and-future Wonkette typing monster of Capitol Hill, Jim Newell: An Important Announcement Regarding Your Gawker Political Desk: Goodbye Read more on Everybody Please Prepare To Have Jim Newell Back At Wonkette, Next Week…
  because facebook and twitter aren't enough

There Is Wonkette On Tumblr Now!

Somehow, there is a Wonkette on the Tumblr. It is here. It is not quite this Wonkette. But, still, it is Wonkette. Mostly “funny pictures,” because what is Tumblr if not “funny pictures.” Go see it, if you dare! [wonkette.tumblr.com] Read more on There Is Wonkette On Tumblr Now!…
  hate to jump on the bandwagon but ...

Happy Anti-Censorship Day, Internet!

Do you know what’s happening, all over the Internet? Sites such as this one, your Wonkette, are taking part in a massive protest action against the SOPA/Protect IP bills, one of which is probably going to become The Law unless a whole lot of us raise hell today. Click the blacked-out “STOP CENSORSHIP” link at the top of this page and you’ll be redirected to the Fight for the Future protest site. From there, you can very quickly and easily let Congress know how you feel about giving the government the power to shut down any website for no reason at all. Will political websites be targeted? Of course they will. Read more on Happy Anti-Censorship Day, Internet!…
  oh hello!

Introducing Liz, From Canada and Possibly Returning There Soon Forever

Oh hello! Now that you’ve witnessed me talking about other “people” for a day, it’s time for me to introduce myself. I’m Liz and I live in the curious town of Berkeley, California, among other things a retirement community for people who consider New York work and California reclining in the sun without a care in the world, never getting in a car, talking to the hummingbirds who land on your palm seeking romantic advice, and plucking money from grapefruit trees whenever you need it. Read more on Introducing Liz, From Canada and Possibly Returning There Soon Forever…
  testing ... testing

Participatory Journamalism Experiment: Submit & Vote On Wonkette Stories!

Hello comrades. We have a mission for you, should you choose to click/accept it, etc. Wonkette Propaganda Industries & Co. is preparing a Digg-style story submission system to replace our current unwieldy and underutilized tips@wonkette mail list. What this means is simply that we would like to gauge interest in such a public forum where you would use your existing commenter accounts to submit stuff for Wonkette. And readers could vote the things up or down, a la Reddit/Digg, and your comments about whatever ridiculous/outrageous newslinks would add to the fun/horror. (Sensitive/anonymous tips will always be accepted and appreciated through the usual tips line.) Read more on Participatory Journamalism Experiment: Submit & Vote On Wonkette Stories!…
  flotus files

Michelle Obama Tricks Obese Into Boycotting The Olive Garden

Who is the latest casualty in Michelle Obama’s war against calories and fun? Prepare yourselves, because this one is a huge blow to this country’s Proud Obese and their important culture and lifestyle: the Darden Restaurant Corporation is what will now murder your children with mixed greens. You might not have heard of this Darden, but this is the thing that owns Olive Garden and Red Lobster, the restaurants that revolutionized the obesity epidemic by taking the ideas behind the fast food diabetes factories we all came to love, adding a tablecloth and silverware, and charging a few extra dollars for the same increased blood pressure. The Never Ending Pasta Bowl is American innovation at its best, so why doesn’t Michelle Obama want to Win the Future, through sheer body mass? Read more on Michelle Obama Tricks Obese Into Boycotting The Olive Garden…
  meet your new wonkette pal!

Meet Your Newest Wonkette, Kirsten Boyd Johnson, From Mexico!

FAITHFUL READERS: Here is a quick note from your newest patriot/Wonkette contributor. Hello, you! I just spent the last four years as an expatriate journalist in Mexico, this popular beach colony whose most famous exports are the swine flu and Republican talking points about space aliens. No one told me to go to Mexico, but I did, and I would recommend it if you can deal with horrible problems like the terrible Internet speed and the fact that there is nothing to eat at 3 a.m. besides tacos al pastor anywhere in Mexico, at all, ever. Probably you shouldn’t be out in the street at 3 a.m. there, though. At least I didn’t get swine flu, which is good, because apparently you can’t write for Wonkette unless you’ve got a recent “don’t have swine flu” card. Read more on Meet Your Newest Wonkette, Kirsten Boyd Johnson, From Mexico!…
  mr. phoney baloney

Mittens Is In: Romney Officially Declares, Finally

Capping off perhaps the most exciting pre-campaign campaign since fictional candidate Tim Pawlenty’s campaign was accidentally announced on a website on a Sunday night, Mitt Romney today announced he was really doing that thing he has been doing non-stop since approximately 1996: running for president. The health-reform Mormon returned to his roots in liberal Massachusetts New Hampshire (where he bought rented a giant farm specifically so he could do this in New Hampshire), where he woodenly recited his talking points and was politely applauded by paid staffers and family members. Read more on Mittens Is In: Romney Officially Declares, Finally…
  important changes regarding your wonkette

Goodbye Forever! Also: No More War, Please

Hello, friends! After nearly two years of writing weird stuff on the Internet, it’s time for “Intern Riley” to “cut and run.” Where are we going? Who knows! At any rate: Writing for Wonkette completely transformed our life, in a good way, we think. We remember when Ken Layne emailed us our WordPress Login Info, when we first started at this blog, in the Summer of 2009. The password that Ken gave us was: “$ummer^666.” He ended his email with a short note. “Change your password, if you want.” We knew right away that a lot more than just a password was going to change. Anyway, Thank You! Read more on Goodbye Forever! Also: No More War, Please…
 

Wonkette’s Jack Stuef Is In Tokyo For Some Reason

Really. He wanted to get away from the crushing free-lance grind for a while, so he bought a ticket to Japan. And then, the day before he left for a fun vacation with Pokemon or whatever — Jack grew up with Pokemon, he says — the worst-ever earthquake/nuclear disaster hit Japan. But, it turns out, you can still go to places even when something terrible happened. Maybe you wouldn’t have gone if you knew … but we knew a lot less on Friday. Read more on Wonkette’s Jack Stuef Is In Tokyo For Some Reason…