HEY, CINDY McCAIN, LET’S MEET ON THE BEACH & TAKE PILLS TOGETHER: Your editor will soon kiss the Mexican Border for good luck (and magic Swine Flu immunity) and begin walking 1,200 miles up the coast of California, for art. MORE »

MEET BABY K. SMITH: Wonkette Editor Sara K. Smith has officially spawned. Secret husband “Dan” writes: “little Charlie was born healthy at 8 lbs 2 oz. Sara is healthy and delivered in 3 or 4 hours without any drugs.” Sara, man, she’s an animal. Congratulations to all!

SAY GOOD-BYE TO JULI & HELLO TO RILEY: Our beloved intern Juli Weiner has left us for new assignments, at both the New Yorker and N+1. Really. We hope to see her back again in Wonkette-land, eventually. But now it’s time to meet your highly qualified Summer 2009 Wonkette intern, Riley Waggaman. MORE »

Guess what happened on April 14 of years past? Well, on April 14 of 1912, the Titanic struck an iceberg, hooray! And on April 14 of 1846, the Donner Party began their journey to California, hip hip hooray! And exactly a year ago today, your Wonkette shook itself free from the uterus of Gawker Media and just cold went indie — and the past 12 months turned out to be the biggest year ever, in terms of readers and page views and traffic and visitors and even advertising! MORE »

ANNOUNCEMENT OF INTENT TO LIVEBLOG: Join us at 8:30 p.m. Eastern Time as we begin a long evening of liveblogging Barack Obama’s special money speech to Congress, and Little Bobby Jindal’s special response (Jindal is a minority, too!), and all the usual jabbering dildos on the cable news. REMEMBER TO STOP AT THE LIQUOR STORE AND SPEND ALL YOU HAVE, ON THE LIQUOR. [Tonight's Drinking Game]

Here’s something you don’t see too often, these days, during the Great Big Depression: the launch of a new publication! It’s called Wonkabout, and it’s your guide to all that is fun and interesting and weird and tasty and boozey in Washington D.C., the new capital of the world. Yes We Can! MORE »

• OH NOES, LAST DAY TO VOTE FOR THE BLOGGIES! And awards season will finally end, forever, as long as you’ve kindly voted for Wonkette, in all three (3) categories, at this 2009 Bloggies site and received your Confirmation Email, which can be exchanged for two (2) hobo beans in 2010, at the White House. [2009 Bloggies]

Let’s see, Oscar nominations, who cares … oh look, nominations for the 2009 Bloggies are out, and whoa, jesus christ, your Wonkette is nominated for Best Weblog About Politics, Most Humorous Weblog and Best Group Weblog. Yikes! Thank you, good peoples, for nominating us, for these magical invisible trophies. MORE »

OKAY NOW IT IS TIME FOR THE REAL BLOGGIES: We don’t even know what that other Weblog Awards thing is about, other than you should keep voting for us, because why not? But the real true authentic Weblog Awards Thing is back, and accepting nominations for all your favorite categories of websites such as “Best Mexican Blog” and “Best Blog About Trig Palin’s Birth Records.” MORE »

Oh look, now you can click this computer graphic of a computer, and then, magically, you can vote for your Wonkette, so we can post a different computer graphic of a computer, but this time designating your Wonkette as the whatever-of-the-year — this time around, we are nominated for “Prettiest Libtard Blog.” We are being MURDERED by Crooks & Liars some blog we have literally never heard of, called “Confluence,” right now. Please put a stop to this outrage. MORE »

• THE MEMO GOT LOST: Oh, right. In case it wasn’t obvious these past two days, your Wonkette is resting for the tragedy that will be 2009 through the New Year, meaning we’re on a “limited posting schedule” for the rest of 2008. WAIT DON’T LEAVE… we’ll still be posting every day, even on Jesus’ Birthday, but with only one editor per day. And today it’s your male associate editor! So prepare yourself for more aggravating nonsense.