Wonkette

Time flies when you’re getting jabbered at by a lightly furred ballsack! Wolf Blitzer has apparently been hosting CNN’s Late Edition for ten wonderful years, and this Sunday America will get to enjoy two whole hours of decadent Blitzerian retrospectives. Relive Wolf’s proudest Journalistic Moments, after the jump. MORE »

This weekend marks the passing of yet another year in our thousand-year Mesopotamian adventure. Just yesterday it seemed our little Iraq War would be smothered in its crib, too fragile to survive more than a few months. But it surprised us all with its moxie and stick-to-it-iveness, and now our tiger is old enough to go to War Kindergarten. MORE »

America’s quietest Supreme Court justice Clarence Thomas has boldly endured two solid years of never saying anything, ever, in oral arguments, and is now entering the third year of his quest. The last time he spoke was in a death penalty case on February 22, 2006. Since then, Cocktobers have come and gone; nations have risen and fallen. So what has this man been doing with all that time he isn’t wasting on the ol’ blah blah blah? MORE »

You’d never guess our little Katrina is two years old today. Why? Because it looks like that hurricane and terrible flooding happened just days ago! Who would think a major American city would still be in ruins two fucking years after it was deluged and half-abandoned? MORE »

This is some sort of breakthrough: MORE »

It was four short years ago that American troops freed the beautiful city of Baghdad from years of tyranny. On this day in 2003, a Bluto-esque motorcycle enthusiast impulsively grabbed a sledgehammer and single-handedly took down a nearby statue of Saddam Hussein, with help from a convenient American tank and winch, and with photographers and TV crews coincidentally set up to record the moment. MORE »

• President marks September 11th anniversary with visits to all three crash sites, as do victims’ families, emergency response workers, and conspiracy theorists. [WP, NYT]

• In prime-time speech last night from the White House, President says, “the safety of America depends on the outcome of the battle in the streets of Baghdad.” [WP, NYT]
• The big papers analyze the speech and context in which it was given, find him to be both at his “Reaganesque best” and “most dangerous.” [WP, NYT]
• Condoleezza Rice offers Iran, “a suspension for suspension,” no more uranium enrichment for no more UN sanctions. [NYT]
• New study finds Americans’ have “four distinct views of God’s personality.” [USAT]
• Even internet dating can’t help frustrated Iraqis looking for love among increasing sectarian divisiveness. [WP]
• DC primaries (only election that counts) today, expectations are for “a watershed election for DC.” [WP]

• A cabin in Montana and a copy of Newsweek is all you need to forget this world forever. [The Carpetbagger Report]

• Economics wonks: “9-11 was not that big an event.” DOES THEIR CONTRARIANISM KNOW NO BOUNDS? [Freakonomics]
• The Rude One pens his power ballad at ground zero, finds roses still thorny. [Rude Pundit]
• Freaks don’t just come out at night, they are also regular attendees of disaster anniversaries. [Little Green Footballs]
• White House maintaining policy of admitting to things 18 months after The New Yorker finds them out. [The Cool Honey]
• Bill Richardson eats cheetah steaks for breakfast just because it’s so baller. [The Corsair]
• Abu Ghraib prisoners now torturing selves over complaining about American torture, which apparently isn’t close to Iraqi torture. [Telegraph]