Perhaps the greatest symbol of our nation’s highest court, the dope-addict floozy Anna Nicole Smith keeled over dead in a Florida hotel about an hour ago. We’ve been too upset to post, obviously — plus it took a while to come up with a possible Wonkette angle. Turns out we’ve posted dozens of items about the beloved entertainer! She was basically the American Dream in the flesh.

Let’s pay our respects to “Mrs. Smith Who Came To Washington,” after the jump.

MORE »

One-point-six billion says the baby’s not Souter’s. MORE »

This morning the Supreme Court ruled unanimously in favor of Anna Nicole Smith, the luscious ex-Playmate seeking a fair share of her late husband’s estate. We’re not terribly surprised, having predicted this outcome; but we are pleased for her. (It seems the justices were unable to resist Smith’s audacious strategy of proceeding pro se before them.)

Okay, this is the paragraph where we’d block quote a key excerpt from the opinion. But we won’t do that, since it’s kinda boring. Yes, Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg wrote the opinion, but this time it’s not her fault. Despite the high-profile parties, the subject matter of the litigation — the extent of the “probate exception” to federal jurisdiction — is less-than-scintillating. We’ll spare you the details, and you can thank us later. (If you’d like some actual legal analysis of the decision, check out SCOTUSblog, among many other fine blawgs.)

With a widely expected outcome and a soporific, technical legal issue, we don’t have much to say. Two quick observations about the case appear after the jump.

MORE »

* Washington Whispers: Kerry raises $250,000 for three Democratic candidates in 24 hours. . . Washington-based Al Jazeera news channel, which launches late this spring, finds “friends in the administration”. . . Anna Nicole Smith “has done for probate what O.J. did for illegal police search and seizure,” says Chris Lehane, Democratic strategist. [USN&WR]
* Inside the Beltway: National Black Republican Association launches a political magazine. [WT]

* Duke Cunningham gets the longest sentence ever given to a congressman: 8 years and 4 months. MORE »

Is the cartoon riot thing over yet? We don’t remember hearing about it this week at all. That’s always a good sign, right? Good work Hitch and Sully!

We do hope that episode ended, or fizzled out, or whatever. ‘Cause we don’t think people should be blowing up Danes, sure, but also because we want to go back to the world where no one gave a shit about cartoons. The world of, like two months ago. When editorial cartoonists, secure in their obscurity, could repeat the jokes they stole from 1950’s Herblock cartoons with crosshatching and textual labeling of strained metaphors straight outta vintage Thomas Nast.

We miss that innocent time. And so does our buddy the Comics Curmudgeon. CC’s been blogging about daily, non-political comics for a while now, so we asked him to take the impressive skills he’s developed as America’s Premier Comic Strip Mocker and train them on the political cartoonists of our nation’s newspapers. His analysis is after the jump.

MORE »

(Actually, the afternoon after; but hey, she’s probably just waking up now…) MORE »

* Republicans are breaking with Bush over homeland security issues, once thought to be his chief selling point. Senior White House official: “We’ve got a period of time when the news that’s dominating the headlines is not good and some Republicans are going to feel free to distance themselves from the president, but at the end of the day, I don’t think the breach is deep or lasting because this is the president’s strong suit. I think it’s about this moment in time. I don’t think it’s fundamental.” [WP, NYT, WT]
* Gonzales implies that warrant-less eavesdropping is more widespread than Bush suggested. [WP]
* Supreme Court justices “seemed aware of stepping into an epic soap opera” starring Anna Nicole Smith; Chief Justice John Roberts mentions the “substantial amount of assets” involved. [WP, USAT]
* Administration officials “could find no shelter” from questions about Dubai port deal. [WP]
* Bush stands by port deal on principle. [WP, NYT]

MORE »

Some pretty random items, to close out a pretty random day: MORE »

An Anna-Maniac reader asked us if we knew where Mrs. Smith might be staying tonight. We pointed out the Reliable Source item noting that Anna Nicole Smith checked into a Georgetown hotel with her manager yesterday — and speculated that it might be the Four Seasons, since only that would do for a star of Smith’s proportions (newly downsized thanks to TrimSpa, of course). MORE »

“God save that voluptuous hottie — and this honorable Court, too!”

Would YOU turn down her petition for certiorari? Yeah, we didn’t think so.

It’s finally over. Anna Nicole Smith, stripper-turned-widow-turned-diet-product-spokeswoman, had her day in the U.S. Supreme Court.

Smith appeared before the justices dressed in a black, knee-length dress, accessorized with high heels, a white scarf, and black sunglasses — as well as a chunky silver crucifix. While it’s certainly an improvement over showing up to court in a pink T-shirt — with the word “SPOILED” spelled out in rhinestones, across her ample and heaving bosom — today’s look may have come across as a little “trying-too-hard-not-to-look-like-a-gold-digging-ex-stripper-hussy.”

Smith looked on — occasionally in tears, when her late husband was discussed — as her attorney, Kent Richland, vigorously advanced her position. Richland argued that the Texas state court that screwed Smith out of her dead husband’s fortune shouldn’t have the final word in the matter. Instead, federal courts — including bankruptcy court, where Anna Nicole flirted up a storm with the judge (no joke) — should have some say.

Although it was not a party to the case, the federal government cheerfully intervened on Smith’s behalf, providing her with enthusiastic support for her position. Justice Department attorney Deanna Maynard argued that the appeals court ruling in favor of Pierce Marshall — the late J. Howard Marshall’s evil and greedy son — was flawed and overbroad.

After the jump, an eyewitness account of Anna Nicole Smith’s visit with the Supremes.

MORE »