Tag Archives: anna nicole smith

  the new arts

Your First Look At McCain-Palin’s America

Thanks to Wonkette fine arts operative “Kevin” for sending us this sneak peek of the official new McCain-Palin poster. It is an image for the New America. Don’t hope for Change — Photoshop it. Read more on Your First Look At McCain-Palin’s America…
  venerable beards

Wolf Blitzer Celebrates Glorious 10th Anniversary

Time flies when you’re getting jabbered at by a lightly furred ballsack! Wolf Blitzer has apparently been hosting CNN’s Late Edition for ten wonderful years, and this Sunday America will get to enjoy two whole hours of decadent Blitzerian retrospectives. Relive Wolf’s proudest Journalistic Moments, after the jump. Read more on Wolf Blitzer Celebrates Glorious 10th Anniversary…
 

Fox News Attacks ‘Iraq Snobs’ For Supporting the Troops

Fox News tool John Gibson is disgusted by Anderson Cooper’s “news-guy snobbery,” because the handsome CNN anchor keeps reporting on stupid Iraq! Bravely defending the constant cable-news coverage of a fat drug-addict porno gal’s death, Gibson told his radio audience that Cooper is just trying to be a fancy snob with all this “U.S. troops killed every day” stuff, which is totally boring compared to a brain-damaged 800-pound heroin addict in awful clown make-up: Read more on Fox News Attacks ‘Iraq Snobs’ For Supporting the Troops…
 

Gossip Roundup: Tubes, Tied

* Reliable Source: Britney Spears: What does Danny Bonaduce think? … Robert Duvall vs Stephen Hunter! Fight! [WP] * Yeas and Nays: A bunch of Congresspeople will be in a Shakespeare spoof during some benefit that we’ll be skipping, thank you… Arab news channel Al-Arabiya called up a former DC columnist for insight into Anna Nicole Smith. [Examiner] * The Sleuth: Ted Stevens’ campaign website hacked with crazy nonsense — HOW COULD THEY TELL LOL! [WP] Read more on Gossip Roundup: Tubes, Tied…
 

Gossip Roundup: Tiger in Your Tank

* Reliable Source: Who’s Anna Nicole Smith’s baby-daddy? Yes, it’s President’s Day Weekend… Which bits of Breach are real and which are made-up? Take a quiz… More juicy Woodrow Wilson gossip! [WP] * Yeas and Nays: Virginia hates Hillary, loves Barry Obama… Mos Def wore an “Obama: So Fresh, So Clean” shirt the other night… Rep. Roscoe Bartlett wants everyone to stop calling it Presidents’ Day, because it’s clearly Washington’s birthday… Newt Gingrich will not announce his intention to lose the Republican nomination until September. [Examiner] * Washington Whispers: Mike Huckabee’s daughter is following him around keeping him out of trouble… Bushies still attempting to stack the courts, hope to get one more on SCOTUS before they’re run out of town… Arlen Specter called the Supreme Court lazy. [USN&WR] Read more on Gossip Roundup: Tiger in Your Tank…
 

Gossip Roundup: Next Friday

* Heard on the Hill: Senate Foreign Relations staffers sends out an email about the President of Liberia. Email .sig is, naturally, a still from Friday with a hilarious and racially-insensitive quote beneath it… Phil Gingrey admitted to being the father of Anna Nicole Smith’s baby. [Roll Call] * Reliable Source: Former Spanish PM Jose Maria Aznar canceled a lunch at Nathans when he learned that Spanish reporters would be there… Libby trial jurors all wore matching red t-shirts with white hearts on Valentine’s Day. [WP] * Yeas and Nays: Ward 2 Council Member Jack Evans wants more Indian movies filmed in DC… Who’s to blame for yesterday not being a snow day? Office of Personnel Management Director Linda Springer. [Examiner] * Under the Dome: Rahm Emanuel’s photo still hangs prominently at DCCC headquarters… Rep. Dan Burton apologized for skipping work to play golf. [The Hill] * Shenanigans: Roy Blunt has a YouTube channel! But they’re deleting all the comments on the videos for bad language… Outgoing NATO Afghanistan commander Gen. Karl Eikenberry says we’re all at war with the “Islamist militant extremist fascist movement.” … Rep Wally Herger (R-CA) gave Rep. Roger Wicker (R-MS) a book of Mormon. Wicker’s a baptist. [Politico] Read more on Gossip Roundup: Next Friday…
 

Gossip Roundup: Only the Lonely

* Heard on the Hill: It is possible to vaguely connect the death of Anna Nicole Smith to Congress. [Roll Call] * Reliable Source: In what might be the single weirdest Reliable Source item we’ve ever seen, Amy and Roxanne uncover a heretofore unpublished love letter from Woodrow Wilson to his eventual wife. Woodrow signed it, “Tiger.” [WP] * Yeas and Nays: Darrell Issa asked grieving widows testifying before Congress who wrote their opening statement… The National Association of Manufacturers accidentally scheduled their congressional reception on Valentine’s Day… Nancy Pelosi added the first anniversary of Dick Cheney shooting that guy to the calender she sent to Democrats last week. [Examiner] * Washington Whispers: “Top secret” religious right group (members include Tim LaHaye and James Dobson) prefers Mike Huckabee to Mitt Romney 60-40. [USN&WR] Read more on Gossip Roundup: Only the Lonely…
 

Rumors On The Internets: Put ‘Em On Da Marble Ceiling

* Nancy Pelosi’s mothering powers are so great she can excrete children at will. [Comedy Central Insider] * Media coverage of Anna Nicole as lop-sided as she was. [Think Progress] * Jack Cafferty takes a hack dig at Wolf, who by now has surely come up with something witty he could have said. [Passport] * Cheney’s office now exists as a “super branch” outside the Governmental space-time continuum. [The Carpetbagger Report] * Marky Mark Warner won’t gun for Johnny John Warner’s Senate seat, may go for VA governor spot, again. [Vivian Paige] * Lots more Republican scandals on the way, don’t change that URL! [The Blotter] Read more on Rumors On The Internets: Put ‘Em On Da Marble Ceiling…
 

‘Somebody-somebody-somebody, an actress with a TV show…’

In the chaotic and heroic media frenzy that’s greeted the death of America’s Sweetheart, Anna Nicole Smith, only one crazy anonymous emailer (not Nadine, alas, but just as tuned-in to the real story) has managed to get to the truth: Smith was killed, possibly by the Kennedys, or Nancy Pelosi, to cover up President Bush’s affair with… Michele Bachmann. Tony Blair, the Queen of England, and MSNBC are all involved too. Read the terrifying tale in its entirety, after the jump. Read more on ‘Somebody-somebody-somebody, an actress with a TV show…’…
 

National Day of Mourning For Anna Nicole Smith?

As our nation mourns this tragic loss, we urge you to share your memories and baseless opinions here in the comments. There is no word, yet, on whether or not federal offices will be closed Friday — but you can assume they will be, so don’t worry about going to work. Our flagpoles are all at half-mast tonight. Read more on National Day of Mourning For Anna Nicole Smith?…
 

Supreme Court Icon Anna Nicole Smith Drops Dead

Perhaps the greatest symbol of our nation’s highest court, the dope-addict floozy Anna Nicole Smith keeled over dead in a Florida hotel about an hour ago. We’ve been too upset to post, obviously — plus it took a while to come up with a possible Wonkette angle. Turns out we’ve posted dozens of items about the beloved entertainer! She was basically the American Dream in the flesh. Let’s pay our respects to “Mrs. Smith Who Came To Washington,” after the jump. Read more on Supreme Court Icon Anna Nicole Smith Drops Dead…
 

Anna Nicole Smith: One Merry Widow

This morning the Supreme Court ruled unanimously in favor of Anna Nicole Smith, the luscious ex-Playmate seeking a fair share of her late husband’s estate. We’re not terribly surprised, having predicted this outcome; but we are pleased for her. (It seems the justices were unable to resist Smith’s audacious strategy of proceeding pro se before them.) Okay, this is the paragraph where we’d block quote a key excerpt from the opinion. But we won’t do that, since it’s kinda boring. Yes, Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg wrote the opinion, but this time it’s not her fault. Despite the high-profile parties, the subject matter of the litigation — the extent of the “probate exception” to federal jurisdiction — is less-than-scintillating. We’ll spare you the details, and you can thank us later. (If you’d like some actual legal analysis of the decision, check out SCOTUSblog, among many other fine blawgs.) With a widely expected outcome and a soporific, technical legal issue, we don’t have much to say. Two quick observations about the case appear after the jump. Read more on Anna Nicole Smith: One Merry Widow…
 

Gossip Roundup: Friends in High Places

* Washington Whispers: Kerry raises $250,000 for three Democratic candidates in 24 hours. . . Washington-based Al Jazeera news channel, which launches late this spring, finds “friends in the administration”. . . Anna Nicole Smith “has done for probate what O.J. did for illegal police search and seizure,” says Chris Lehane, Democratic strategist. [USN&WR] * Inside the Beltway: National Black Republican Association launches a political magazine. [WT] Read more on Gossip Roundup: Friends in High Places…
 

Wonkette’s Week in Review

* Duke Cunningham gets the longest sentence ever given to a congressman: 8 years and 4 months. * Blackberry users, exhale. * A Wonkette exclusive: a new Hurricane Katrina briefing video, which exonerates everyone! Maybe it will boost the president’s approval rating, which has reached an all-time low. Read more on Wonkette’s Week in Review…
 

Introducing: Cartoon Violence

Is the cartoon riot thing over yet? We don’t remember hearing about it this week at all. That’s always a good sign, right? Good work Hitch and Sully! We do hope that episode ended, or fizzled out, or whatever. ‘Cause we don’t think people should be blowing up Danes, sure, but also because we want to go back to the world where no one gave a shit about cartoons. The world of, like two months ago. When editorial cartoonists, secure in their obscurity, could repeat the jokes they stole from 1950’s Herblock cartoons with crosshatching and textual labeling of strained metaphors straight outta vintage Thomas Nast. We miss that innocent time. And so does our buddy the Comics Curmudgeon. CC’s been blogging about daily, non-political comics for a while now, so we asked him to take the impressive skills he’s developed as America’s Premier Comic Strip Mocker and train them on the political cartoonists of our nation’s newspapers. His analysis is after the jump. Read more on Introducing: Cartoon Violence…
 

Anna Nicole Smith: The Morning After

(Actually, the afternoon after; but hey, she’s probably just waking up now…) Do we know our hotels, or do we know our hotels? Yesterday we speculated that Anna Nicole Smith — she of the “substantial” assets, to quote Chief Justice John G. Roberts — was staying at the Four Seasons Hotel in Georgetown. As it turns out, we were right. Read more on Anna Nicole Smith: The Morning After…
 

Daily Briefing: Just a Moment

* Republicans are breaking with Bush over homeland security issues, once thought to be his chief selling point. Senior White House official: “We’ve got a period of time when the news that’s dominating the headlines is not good and some Republicans are going to feel free to distance themselves from the president, but at the end of the day, I don’t think the breach is deep or lasting because this is the president’s strong suit. I think it’s about this moment in time. I don’t think it’s fundamental.” [WP, NYT, WT] * Gonzales implies that warrant-less eavesdropping is more widespread than Bush suggested. [WP] * Supreme Court justices “seemed aware of stepping into an epic soap opera” starring Anna Nicole Smith; Chief Justice John Roberts mentions the “substantial amount of assets” involved. [WP, USAT] * Administration officials “could find no shelter” from questions about Dubai port deal. [WP] * Bush stands by port deal on principle. [WP, NYT] Read more on Daily Briefing: Just a Moment…
 

Remainders: Mangoes, Granite, Bowties, and Ducks

Some pretty random items, to close out a pretty random day: * While Donna Shalala has been living the high life in her Coral Gables mansion, eating fresh mangoes from her garden, janitors at the University of Miami have been trying to win a living wage. Tomorrow they’re going on strike. [Miamity] Read more on Remainders: Mangoes, Granite, Bowties, and Ducks…
 

Where to Stalk Anna Nicole Smith Tonight

An Anna-Maniac reader asked us if we knew where Mrs. Smith might be staying tonight. We pointed out the Reliable Source item noting that Anna Nicole Smith checked into a Georgetown hotel with her manager yesterday — and speculated that it might be the Four Seasons, since only that would do for a star of Smith’s proportions (newly downsized thanks to TrimSpa, of course). Read more on Where to Stalk Anna Nicole Smith Tonight…
 

“All Rise! Worship of Anna Nicole Smith Is Now In Session!”

“God save that voluptuous hottie — and this honorable Court, too!” Would YOU turn down her petition for certiorari? Yeah, we didn’t think so. It’s finally over. Anna Nicole Smith, stripper-turned-widow-turned-diet-product-spokeswoman, had her day in the U.S. Supreme Court. Smith appeared before the justices dressed in a black, knee-length dress, accessorized with high heels, a white scarf, and black sunglasses — as well as a chunky silver crucifix. While it’s certainly an improvement over showing up to court in a pink T-shirt — with the word “SPOILED” spelled out in rhinestones, across her ample and heaving bosom — today’s look may have come across as a little “trying-too-hard-not-to-look-like-a-gold-digging-ex-stripper-hussy.” Smith looked on — occasionally in tears, when her late husband was discussed — as her attorney, Kent Richland, vigorously advanced her position. Richland argued that the Texas state court that screwed Smith out of her dead husband’s fortune shouldn’t have the final word in the matter. Instead, federal courts — including bankruptcy court, where Anna Nicole flirted up a storm with the judge (no joke) — should have some say. Although it was not a party to the case, the federal government cheerfully intervened on Smith’s behalf, providing her with enthusiastic support for her position. Justice Department attorney Deanna Maynard argued that the appeals court ruling in favor of Pierce Marshall — the late J. Howard Marshall’s evil and greedy son — was flawed and overbroad. After the jump, an eyewitness account of Anna Nicole Smith’s visit with the Supremes. Read more on “All Rise! Worship of Anna Nicole Smith Is Now In Session!”…