Tag Archives: ann romney

  Meanwhile Hillary's measuring the drapes

Mitt Romney’s Summer Camp Teaches Republicans How To Lose Like Mitt Romney

We're laughing at you, not with you
Doesn’t this sound like a marvelous time? Sunning and funning and fancy horseback riding at a luxurious five-star lodge in Deer Valley, Utah, and learning how to not become president, from America’s foremost expert himself, Mitt Romney! Read more on Mitt Romney’s Summer Camp Teaches Republicans How To Lose Like Mitt Romney…
  let's challenge her to a rap battle

Ann Romney May Be In A Gang, Hide Your Kids! Your Weekly Top Ten.

Don't hate the playa, hate the game.
WELL HELLO THERE, Wonketariat! It is Sunday, which means it’s time for us to go to brunch and also gossip with you about the week’s top stories, but before we get to that, we feel compelled to quickly discuss the picture above, which Ann Romney, wife of Mitt, shared on the Twitter after her husband’s charity boxing match with Evander Holyfield. Is Ann Romney in a gang now? PROBABLY, because she is so street. She told the Twitter that she was very excited to be part of “Mitt’s posse.” Anybody who coughs up a video of Romney (husband OR wife) twerking wins an “Obamaphone.” Read more on Ann Romney May Be In A Gang, Hide Your Kids! Your Weekly Top Ten….
  Mitt 2016!

Mitt Romney Has ‘Thoughts’ On Baltimore And Hillary Clinton, Still Not Running For President (Wink Wink)

Watch the latest video at video.foxnews.comIf you are a perpetual loser of the Republican persuasion, there’s really no better place to go for some tender loving ball-fondling than Fox News. So Mitt Romney spent some quality time with “Fox & Friends” non-blond host Brian Kilmeade, to talk about his big charity boxing match with Evander Holyfield later this month, and to sneak in a “serious conversation about what’s happening in the country, and what’s happening in politics”: the alleged murder-by-cop of Freddie Gray in Baltimore; how much Hillary Clinton sucks; the Republican Party’s need for a fresh face like, say, Jeb Bush; and how beloved he and Ann are (no, he is not joking). Read more on Mitt Romney Has ‘Thoughts’ On Baltimore And Hillary Clinton, Still Not Running For President (Wink Wink)…
  Noooooooooooooooo!

Mitt Romney Decides He’s Cool With Losing White House Just The Two Times, Thanks

We are all sad today
Mitt Romney has decided to deprive U.S. Amercians of the pleasure of kicking his ass a third time, the selfish bastard. Typical. On a conference call with Ann and his “supporters” (most of whose names end in “Romney,” we are pretty sure), Mitt explained why after all that teasing and making us laugh so hard, he is not going to run against Hillary Clinton — from the left! — in 2016: Read more on Mitt Romney Decides He’s Cool With Losing White House Just The Two Times, Thanks…
  Lifestyle Pages

Mitt Romney Meets With Old Campaign Chums For No Special Reason, Why Do You Ask?

Gather round, kids, and listen good
Mitt Romney gives a lecture about 2016 election at Stanford University. Pic by Stelio Ropokis via Twitter Mitt Romney has been keeping busy since our wayward nation made the biggest mistake of her life by walking away from the blissful comfort of his mechanical, Downy-scented embrace two years ago. Mitt is the forgiving type and has remained in the background of our political lives, just being our friend, because he would hate to think he and the American voters couldn’t be friends anymore. And he’s been meeting up with some of his best buds who, by total coincidence, played integral roles in his last run for president, just to say hi. Read more on Mitt Romney Meets With Old Campaign Chums For No Special Reason, Why Do You Ask?…
  MittWatch '16

Mitt Romney Still A Dumb Jerk, Some More, Again

Mitt Romney's advisers try to talk the candidate into another run after his crushing 2012 loss.
Business Insider has yet another entry in the ongoing saga that is MittWatch ’16. Another “member” of the “inner circle” of that cock tease the Duke of Salt Lake, Willard Mitochondria Phlegmatic Hustings Coffeepot Romney XII, leaks that the Rombot met this past week in New York with “key financial backers” of his past losing campaigns. Which means he is probably definitely likely running for president again in 2016. Or he’s a rich retired guy jetting around the country to enjoy the perks of being a rich retired guy, like watching a New York Jets game from the owner’s skybox at the team’s stadium. Which, considering it’s the Jets and the stadium is in New Jersey, doesn’t sound to us like a perk. It sounds like one of Dante’s more minor circles. Read more on Mitt Romney Still A Dumb Jerk, Some More, Again…
  Walker 2016

Some Of Scott Walker’s Best Friends Are Women

Hey, ladies of Wisconsin! With the election that decides his political future coming up next week, your feminist hero Gov. Scott Walker has remembered that you’re allowed to vote, just in time for him to put one of your kind on TV to make a not-at-all disingenuous play for your support. Read more on Some Of Scott Walker’s Best Friends Are Women…
  Loser Romney Still Loser ... With Mayo

Mitt Romney Finds Entirely New Explanation For ’47 Percent’ Remarks, In Own Ass

Ah, mittens, come on back and tell us all about it
Now that Mitt Romney has let it be known through “supporters” and “his wife” that he is definitely serious about not winning the White House at least one more time, he is also letting it be known that he has learned some things from the last multiple times he did not win the White House. Read more on Mitt Romney Finds Entirely New Explanation For ’47 Percent’ Remarks, In Own Ass…
  dancing horse race politics

Mitt Romney Totally Gonna Run Again In 2016; Wonkette Erections To Never Subside

Will we have Mitt Romney to kick around in 2016 after all? Lately the Romney camp and its allies have been floating so many trial balloons with the conservative media you could attach gondolas and sell tickets for the ride. And we’d buy those tickets, because how much fun would we have watching the Earl of Braintree, His Lord High Hairgel Willington Mittens Forsooth Toothpaste VIII, stumbling his way through a third losing presidential campaign? All of the fun, people. All of it. Read more on Mitt Romney Totally Gonna Run Again In 2016; Wonkette Erections To Never Subside…
  Her horse is still classier than you people

Ladies, Stop Offending Ann Romney With How Stupid You Are

Offended Egg is offended
How many times does Her Royal Horse-Riding Majesty Ann Romney have to explain this to YOU PEOPLE? Sheesh! This so-called “war on women” claptrap Democrats can’t stop blah blahing about is so dumb and so 2012 and so not even real anyway, so why are women — who are so much smarter than Democrats think they are — so stupid as to keep falling for it? HUH? Read more on Ladies, Stop Offending Ann Romney With How Stupid You Are…
  try devil's weed instead

Virginia’s Grifty Former First Lady Offered To Cure Ann Romney’s MS With This One Weird Trick

Does not cure indictments
Gather round, kiddies, it’s time for another installment of the As The Grift Turns, the tragic tale of the former Lord and Lady McDonnell of Virginia, now on trial for being corrupt, greedy, generally awful, and dumb enough to get caught, all because Her Majesty Maureen really wanted an Oscar de la Renta gown for her husband’s inaugural, and also they had “an unconscionable amount in credit card debt.” One thing led to another, as such things do, and suddenly they were awash in fabulous gifts and prizes from Richmond businessman Jonnie Williams Sr., for the basement-bargain price of maybe breaking a few laws here and there by pimping his company’s magical tobacco-based “dietary supplement” Antabloc. Allegedly. Read more on Virginia’s Grifty Former First Lady Offered To Cure Ann Romney’s MS With This One Weird Trick…
  where's the teeth?

Here Is A Picture Of Mitt Romney’s Grandchildren Inside A Giant Vagina

Mitt Romney went camping and he was all blah blah blah the American West and air conditioning and there’s nothing more important than family, also the Ukraine. Honestly, you don’t need to read it, it is boring and lame and it doesn’t even say anything unintentionally hilarious and his wife Egg didn’t even say anything about how UNLIKE MICHELLE OBAMA, she loves her family. Good god, that woman is a fucking cunt. Read more on Here Is A Picture Of Mitt Romney’s Grandchildren Inside A Giant Vagina…
  the egg and i

Ann Romney Just Cannot Stop Being Classy

Watch the latest video at video.insider.foxnews.com We already know you are not going to watch the video, above, of Ann Romney getting interviewed on Fox New’s “America’s Newsroom.” (Only valid for certain values of “America.”) So you do not absolutely need to tell us in the comments about how you are not going to watch it. Deal? Cool. So, what did you miss when you refused to watch the lovely and amazing Ann Romney talking about new documentary Mitt? Oh, just what a bunch of losers Americans are by not voting for her husband, that’s all, no big. Read more on Ann Romney Just Cannot Stop Being Classy…
  mittens

Mitt Romney Acknowledges He Did Not ‘Speak Openly And Effectively To Minority Populations,’ Fails To Note Wetness Of Water

Average guy Mitt Romney and his wife Egg went on the CBS This Morning teevee Showcase of Disgrace to talk about why he lost so badly in the last “America’s Next Top Figurehead” contest. Oddly, he said a thing that is arguably true: “The place that my campaign and I fell short was probably in being able to speak openly and effectively to minority populations. We didn’t get as many African-American voters as we should have, didn’t get as many Hispanic voters as we should have.” We’re not so sure about the “openly” part, because when he did speak “openly” it was kind of disastrous for him. But effectively, sure. Romney was certainly not as effective at lying to minorities as he was with the white men, who unaccountably seemed to believe that Mitt Romney was the guy who would help them become or remain rich and powerful. Then again, people believe gay marriage is caused by supernatural hell-beasts, so maybe it’s not that weird after all. Read more on Mitt Romney Acknowledges He Did Not ‘Speak Openly And Effectively To Minority Populations,’ Fails To Note Wetness Of Water…