ann romney

Watch the latest video at We already know you are not going to watch the video, above, of Ann Romney getting interviewed on Fox New’s “America’s Newsroom.” (Only valid for certain values of “America.”) So you do not absolutely need to tell us in the comments about how you are not going to watch […]

Average guy Mitt Romney and his wife Egg went on the CBS This Morning teevee Showcase of Disgrace to talk about why he lost so badly in the last “America’s Next Top Figurehead” contest. Oddly, he said a thing that is arguably true: “The place that my campaign and I fell short was probably in […]

Egg Romney woke up to a new and strange feeling. Could it be? She wiggled her toes, grazed her fingers on the 1000-count sheets, interwoven with threads of gold. For once, the gosh darn sheets weren’t abrading her ultrasensitive skin. Why, they almost felt soft! Egg Romney wrinkled her little princess nose. She smelled something […]

Ann Romney. Bubbeleh. (Or “Mi’lady,” if you prefer, and you know you do.) After your husband, the worst candidate for president your humble penpal has ever seen and she has seen Alan Keyes, took a drubbing at the polls last year because of how people did not like him or you, it is considered unseemly […]

In her quest to build a modest 11,000-square-foot cottage not in anyone’s way at all right there on that public beach, Ann Romney is starting to sound a little like America’s most favoritest belovedest totally great lady, one Barbara “gentle murmurs” Bush. Neighbors may be unhappy over the Romneys’ … hmmm … lack of politesse […]

Aw, cute! Ann Romney, the unintentionally comedic wife of uber-loser Mitt, took a break from watching her classier-than-thou horse do ballet to eggsplain to the San Diego City Council why it can kiss her pampered ass because it did not approve the permit for her bazillion dollar beachfront mansion expansion in a way befitting Her […]

Pretenders to the throne (no, really – we assume they pretend they won the 2012 election all the damn time, like with presidential cosplay and stuffs) Highness Mittens and Princess Romney went on Fox News on Sunday. BIG SURPRISE. I mean, what is more relevant right now than giving losers a chance to explain how […]

We know you Wonkers are a persnickety lot, and man are you good at hate! But let’s take a moment to give a Malbec-soaked shout-out to some people we hate while remembering their common humanity. Wait! Where’d you go???

HER?  12:38 pm February 3, 2013

Yes, Please

by Rebecca Schoenkopf

Look outside. A moment ago, was it bright, and warm, and sunny? Did a cloud just move across the sky and block out the sun completely? Did a monstrous shiver just rack your body, as though somewhere a Great Evil had been loosed upon the world? That is because some idiot claims people want Ann […]

The esteemed gentleman from Arizona, last seen spitting fury at Hillary Clinton, who was not impressed, had a nice lunch date today with his old friends His Lord High Hairgel Mittens of Romney, and his wife, the Lady Egg! What do you think they talked about at their lunch, these two men, one cunt, who […]

Wonket’s Hu-Man of the Year was a hard-fought contest. There were strong cases to be made for Donald Trump, and Rick Santorum, and the cast of Fox & Friends. But in the end only one hu-man provided such grand doses of befuddled misanthropy, who proved to be SO FUCKING BAD AT HIS JOB, who could […]

Mitt Romney is SO VERY SAD, you guys. All he wanted was to be President. That’s it. He had a dream, just a simple dream, and You People crushed it. So now he spends his days alone, shuffling around in his $1000 bathrobes, talking to secret service personnel that aren’t there. And Ann! This has […]

How come the liberal media never talks about stupid LIEBERALS warring on women, huh? It is like, one side is full of elected officials trying to make it legal for business owners to deny their workers slut pills and hating equal pay for equal work and loving rape, and the other side is an actor […]

Oh boy, we have now reached our favorite part of the election cycle: the end! It’s great because (a) the stressful part is over and (b) all the low-level staffers for both campaigns start telling secrets to the reporters that they most want to sleep with. And so it was that the lucky folks at […]

Is this Chinese ad for Durex condoms, featuring Michelle Obama and Egg Romney, real? We think so! And that is good enough for us. []