It’s a bit early in the day, but if you can stomach it here is a short clip featuring three (3) of our favorite charlatans: Ann Coulter, Geraldo Rivera, and Al Sharpton. Apparently Geraldo calls Coulter an “opportunist” toward the end of this thing, but we were distracted by our own speculation about what happened to the old Al Sharpton, the one who would have eaten this shrunken new morsel of an Al Sharpton for breakfast along with some grits and white gravy. [The YouTubes]

Watching this weirdly edited video clip makes us feel like we just downed a coffee mug full of Liquid Vicodin, but perhaps you people will get something deeper, or maybe your heads will explode, just like poor Al Franken’s … or, Senator Al Franken’s head, right? [The Connecticut Forum]

• LET’S JUST FUEL THIS MEGHAN MCCAIN/ANN COULTER FEUD FOR A FEW MORE MINUTES AND THEN KILL OURSELVES: Speaking of death, have you heard about this thing where Ann Coulter and Bill Maher are on a “debate tour” with Mark Halperin serving as moderator? Does one actually pay to attend this? In any event, Halperin asked Coulter today in New York what she thought about Meghan McCain’s trite, confused stream of spittle yesterday, and Coulter was like, “Who cares?” and then Halperin went and begged Drudge for a link while Bill Maher complained about Jesus. Next stop, Boston, or wherever. [Raw Story]

Sooooo it seems that Meghan McCain, famous for being a young blonde person with the last name “McCain,” is writing a regular Monday column for Tina Brown’s online Ponzi scheme La Bête Noire, which is just great, because we’ve been lacking a hilarious Monday dump of pageview-whoring ever since Bill Kristol was fired from the New York Times. As with her other columns, today’s output is extremely careful to mention hundreds of times that Meghan is NOT LIKE OTHER REPUBLICANS YOU SEE IN THE NEWS — she is cool, and other Republicans could be cool too if they were more like her. The topic is that she still can’t get laid, because her father in John McCain. No! It is that she *doesn’t* like Ann Coulter, because her father is John McCain. MORE »

Wow, this gal is a quick healer! Less than a month ago her jaw was wired shut, and here she is talking again. She says it’s good that newspapers are going bankrupt, because this is how competition works in the Free Market, and competition is good, because people want more choices rather than less, and so offering people fewer choices in print media is … awesome? Whatever, nobody ever said Ann Coulter had to make sense. [YouTube]

• WHY WE WILL NOT BE WRITING ABOUT ANN COULTER: Because Ann-Coulter-bashing is a very tired sport, and all of your comments will either be dull or just objectionable. So now we will turn off the comments on this post and you can just go batshit on some other comment thread about ha ha, she is a scary skeleton with man-hands. [Page Six]

Jesus christ why is everybody sending this terrible picture around? We don’t know the “back story” but it appears that Ann Coulter was just running out for a few cartons of cigarettes and amphetamines when she sort of stumbled on these steps somewhere and had her baby! The father is Sarah Palin’s baby. [Huffington Post]

Ann Coulter held a book-signing at South Carolina’s Furman University last night, and the University placed her signing desk in the toilet. Word around campus is that Coulter was on her period or something and out of diapers. [Palmetto Scoop]

It’s never too early to do a little Christmas shopping for your worst enemies, especially when the “shopping” is free! Send the people you hate a shitty poster of these beloved “conservative women” bloggers. Ha ha it’s funny because wingnuts are always complaining about “loose women” or whatever. Choose from Ann Coulter smoking on the balcony, Michele Malkin in the woods with a liberal computer, or Keith Richards. (PS — Don’t really do this because the “free” posters actually cost $7. Just print up a few at work. Use all the color cartridges. After all, you’ll be giving them to the people you hate most: the people you work for.) [Free "Luce Lady" Posters]

IMPOVERISHED ANN COULTER SHOPS AT PUBLIX WITH BAD CREDIT CARD: Skeletal hobo queen and occasional conservative commentator Ann Coulter embarrassed herself in a Palm Beach supermarket this weekend when her credit card was declined. An observer reported, “She just paid with cash and ran out of there. But at least she’s eating.” [Page Six] MORE »

Hey there, -pedia fans! Do you think that Wikipedia’s too played out and Conservapedia too gay? Then you’ll love Chickipedia, which, as if you don’t know, “is the world’s largest web-based, women-based, wiki-based database of hot chicks on the planet.” Readers input a host of detailed information for each subject, including hookups, hobbies, vices, “dudes she worked with,” and “chicks she worked with.” But while the current user base is good at supplying data on Anna Ortiz and Cameron Diaz and the like, their “Politics” category is sorely lacking! After the jump, we take you through the hellscape, and show you how you can help. MORE »