Tag: animals

Crocodile-On-Chicken Savagery To Determine Australia’s Next Ruler

We already know that the Australian election coming up this weekend is just a way to kill time until the death of Elizabeth II unleashes anarchy on the country -- anarchy that can only end in "Thunderdome Law." ...

George Bush Would Drink Another O’Douls If He Really Had To

The Ohio Senate has had it up to here with all the humanoid-animal demon beasts manufactured almost every day in Toledo petri dishes. George Bush loved waterboarding Khalid Sheikh Mohammed. It was his favorite thing to do with Khalid,...

IT'S LEGAL TO SELL ANIMAL TORTURE VIDEOS AGAIN! Do you "get off" by watching videos in which "women in high-heeled shoes step on small animals," and kill the animals in this fashion? Or do you prefer to fap to...

Whoa, Wait, Don’t Foxes EAT Kitties?

It's always the War On Xmas somewhere, which is why we feel obligated to bring you this video of ... uh, a fox trying to move in on some cat food thrown around the entrance of a building? Yeah...

George Bush’s Dog, Barney, Wins War On Christmas

After dreaming about winning both an Olympic Gold Medal and golf's Ryder Cup tournament, in two-dimensions, George Bush's dog Barney is awoken by the president himself. "You better wake up fella," George Bush tells the dog. "There's a lot...

Nothing Fun Allowed At Obama’s Stadium Show

Good news, Obamatards with tickets to Barack Obama & the Decemberists' big concert at Mile High Stadium: You are encouraged to go through 10 miles of security lines and enter the INVESCO outdoor FEMA detainment camp at 1 p.m.,...

Americans Very, Very Worried About Our Homeless… Obese Cats

This is an actual fat cat named "Chunks" who is, of course, hiding under a chair in the green room of the MSNBC studio. Here's how this obese monster got famous: "BLACKWOOD, N.J. -- Turns out, the economy is...

Game-Altering Poll: Pet Owners Prefer McCain

A new poll from the venerable AP-Yahoo partnership shows that pet owners prefer John McCain over Barack Obama, 42% to 37%. (The other 21%, we assume, support pet-loving failure Mitt Romney.) Dog owners, especially, support John McCain by a...

When Animals Attack DC Fundraisers