animals
Literally Thousands Of RNC Convention-Goers Did Not Throw Peanuts At A Black Woman And Call Her An Animal
After last night’s stirring RNC tribute to small business people who did not receive any help from the government except for government loans and grants and a taxpayer-funded stage to pimp their businesses, it is difficult to be more inspired than we already are. But here is a positive, hopeful story that will put a [...]
Bo Obama Wears Bunny Ears Almost Long Enough to Distract From Michelle Obama’s New Hairstyle
Coming off a very sparkly appearance at Nickelodeon’s Kids’ Choice Awards last weekend (that’s the one where they commemorate all their teevee stars who are now teen mothers and/or using heroin, and then Justin Bieber dumps lime green human waste on everyone, we think!) our FLOTUS is working it for the spotlight this month. Her [...]
Mitt Romney’s Son Kept Fish In Water Bottle During Cross Country Trip
Animal people listen up! Mitt Romney’s son Craig, of shirtless fame, kept a lil’ fish in his water bottle during his 2009 cross-country trip, just like they strapped that dog on the roof. But is it really “just like” that? No one cares about a fucking fish.
Mitt Romney’s Google Results Sabotaged With Dog Poop
Your Wonkette was performing its routine of googling “Romney” at the start of each morning for daily affirmation when lo, what was this third result that appeared? “SpreadingRomney.com,” a dictionary page defining the verb “Romney” as “defecating in terror.” This refers to his dog on top of the family car. When will the Internet grow [...]
Jon Huntsman Donating To Himself For a Few Days
Republican fringe-moderate candidate Jon Huntsman sent out an e-mail to supporters the other day announcing that he would match any donations received until midnight on January 4, that being the first day of the rest our lives following tonight’s roll in the Iowa hay. While perfectly legal — there’s no limit to the amount of [...]
Cops Now Hunting Escaped Zoo Monsters
How are things in the American Heartland this morning? Very terrible, according to this video news report from … a comedy blog? A superhero musical? No, it’s from the Associated Press.
Steve King Waterboards Helpless Mole Creatures
Looks like Steve King ate two servings of high-fructose Crazy for breakfast and then began to indiscriminately kill all the poor animals he could find, with his garden hose and “gig.” And in the spirit of ending things with Latin non sequitur-gibberish, rigor mortis = et cetera. [The Hill]
Animal Rights Activist Sent Back To Prison For Facebook-Friending Animal Friends
Are you worried that “poking” people on Facebook might be a violation of your parole? Well it is, so don’t do it: The longtime radical animal liberation activist Rod Coronado has been sent back to prison for four months after a US district judge in Michigan ruled he had violated the terms of his parole. [...]
Important Political Video You Must Watch: Deer Drinking Beer
Crocodile-On-Chicken Savagery To Determine Australia’s Next Ruler
We already know that the Australian election coming up this weekend is just a way to kill time until the death of Elizabeth II unleashes anarchy on the country — anarchy that can only end in “Thunderdome Law.” But now the civilized world has learned exactly how the Aussies intend to determine the winner of [...]
IT’S LEGAL TO SELL ANIMAL TORTURE VIDEOS AGAIN! Do you “get off” by watching videos in which “women in high-heeled shoes step on small animals,” and kill the animals in this fashion? Or do you prefer to fap to pit bulls tearing each other apart in dog-fight videos? Either way, America’s Supreme Court is furiously [...]
Whoa, Wait, Don’t Foxes EAT Kitties?
It’s always the War On Xmas somewhere, which is why we feel obligated to bring you this video of … uh, a fox trying to move in on some cat food thrown around the entrance of a building? Yeah but the cat is all I do not think so, you fuck. Anyway, don’t miss the [...]
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