Wonkette

Arkansas, our greatest state, has produced our nation’s favorite fat politicians (Mike Huckabee and Bill Clinton) while not really being part of Western Civilization. Proof? Mayor James Valley, “of Helena-West Helena,” just shut down his town’s animal shelter and set all the dogs loose in St. Francis National Forest. MORE »

Mitt Romney’s got a big problem! He squandered his family’s wealth on a doomed campaign to be the liberal Mormon president, but he’s got five hungry sons to feed and no identifiable source of income. What to do? In trying times, experts say it’s best to find something you really enjoy, and then think of a way to turn that into a career. Trouble is, Mitt only loves counting money and torturing dogs while driving his car. MORE »