Tag Archives: anger

  Way Down In The Hole

Rand Paul Can Fix Racism With Tax Cuts And More Republicans

Funny strange, not funny ha ha
Rand Paul continued his mavericky streak of being the only Republican who wants to reach out to black voters — or at least wave his hand in their general direction — with a speech Tuesday to Republicans in Baltimore, in which he made a very sincere effort to sound like someone who’s been briefed on the concept of empathy. Read more on Rand Paul Can Fix Racism With Tax Cuts And More Republicans…
  Baking soda has so many uses!

Idiot Nevada Rep Lady Will Wash That Cancer Right Outta Your Hair

We have absolutely no patience for dumb people who have special braindead ideas about how to cure cancer or AIDS or stubbed toes or anything else, so let us throw to the wolves (YOU, rabid Wonkette commenters!) Nevada Assemblywoman Michele Fiore, because she is a dumb dick, if there ever was a template for “dumb dick,” like if Mavis Beacon was trying to teach you how to type “dumb dick,” it would involve typing the letters of Fiore’s name over and over until you get it right, KEEP PRACTICING, YOU WILL GET IT: Read more on Idiot Nevada Rep Lady Will Wash That Cancer Right Outta Your Hair…
  despite all my rage i am still just a...that'll provoke more rage

Newsweek Explores ‘Muslim Rage’ Through Stupid Cover

Newsweek has moved beyond implied vegetable dick-sucking to weightier topics, like how Muslims are just REALLY FUCKING ANGRY ALL OF THEM. To kick off a masterful Ayaan Hirsi Ali column about Ayaan Hirsi Ali and how Ayaan Hirsi Ali did things, Newsweek decided to very, very carefully take a specific point about her experiences (with a lot of Salman Rushdie references thrown in) and just blow the whole thing up to… …Oh, shit, blow things up. NOT MEANT TO MAKE MORE MUSLIM RAGE, DUDES. Read more on Newsweek Explores ‘Muslim Rage’ Through Stupid Cover…
  like chick-fil-a but sour and bitter

Lindsey Graham Would Like To Feed On White Male Anger

After a convention in which literally every minority in the Republican Party gets to take the stage and chant about the things that “they” (read: the white people watching them) built, it’s time to reflect on how awesome it’s going to be when America is majority-minority and the GOP is ascendant. After all, Chuck Todd says that Democrats are super totes jeals over all the diversity at the GOP convention! Or not, because Lindsey Graham had to go open his stupid turdface mouth. “The demographics race we’re losing badly,” said Sen. Lindsey O. Graham (S.C.). “We’re not generating enough angry white guys to stay in business for the long term.” Whaaaa? Read more on Lindsey Graham Would Like To Feed On White Male Anger…
  vengeance is mine sayeth the lord

God Due To ‘Stand His Ground’ Against Tampa’s Republican Convention, With Hurricane Maybe

Everybody panic! Some dude at Examiner.com looked at a bunch of funny gifs of a maybe-hurricane and decided it might hit Tampa (and your Editrix!) just in time for the RNC! Where will we shelter from the possible storm? Probably a titty bar. But far more important than whether or not we (by which we mean “I”) are murdered by the vengeful weather is what could have angered the deity to call down this Old Testament (it is even named Isaac, we think?) smiting: Read more on God Due To ‘Stand His Ground’ Against Tampa’s Republican Convention, With Hurricane Maybe…
  rumors on the internets

Matt Taibbi Dumps Lloyd Blankfein, Finds A New Lady To Hate

Missouri is the Alamo/Gulf of Tonkin/Concord Bridge for Obamacare repeal. One of those things, whichever makes the most sense and makes Missouri sound the coolest. [RedState] Conservative legislators are not interested in providing free meals to malnourished children, because Jesus would have already made these children un-hungry if it was actually worth the effort. [Matt Yglesias] Read more on Matt Taibbi Dumps Lloyd Blankfein, Finds A New Lady To Hate…
  say it ain't so joe

John McCain’s Brother Cussed Out 911!

Terrible seething venomous rage runs in the McCain family, it appears. Whereas a normal person sitting in a traffic jam would say, “man, this sucks,” John McCain’s brother Joe calls 911 to complain and then says “fuck you” to the operator who is confused about why he’s calling an emergency hotline about a common everyday occurrence. Read more on John McCain’s Brother Cussed Out 911!…
  sir crapsalot

Maverick John McCain Isn’t Afraid To Chew Out Harmless Women At The Craps Table!

Well here is yet another tale of John McCain’s terrible anger and simmering rage and also his addiction to craps, a game of chance! Just three years ago, John McCain nearly assaulted a woman standing next to him at a craps table in Puerto Rico because she touched his arm. Nobody touches John McCain’s arms! Don’t they know who he is? Read more on Maverick John McCain Isn’t Afraid To Chew Out Harmless Women At The Craps Table!…
  harridans

Cindy McCain’s Angry Anti-Obama Rant Tape Discovered!

Why is Cindy McCain so angry all of the time? Can America afford to have a first lady who is such an angry angry harridan? What a terribly scary woman, with her angry rants! Ah well, at least she is not as terrifying as Michelle Obama, who has a classy hairdo and says classy things on Larry King Live all the time. [YouTube] Read more on Cindy McCain’s Angry Anti-Obama Rant Tape Discovered!…
 

Livid Bob Dole Sends Email Rant To Scott McClellan

Remember how Bob Dole used to be a pleasant old former politician who spent his retirement hawking little blue pills on the teevee? Well now he is very upset with Scott McClellan and let him know via the emails, which were invented several hundred years after Bob Dole first attained elective office. Quotations from his angry E-Communication after the jump. Read more on Livid Bob Dole Sends Email Rant To Scott McClellan…
 

ANGRY FLORIDA HIPPIE LEGISLATORS LOSE INTERNET: From the Miami Herald: “Partisan rancor erupted on the state House floor Friday morning as Democrats and Republicans feuded over procedural moves that led House Speaker Marco Rubio to angrily gavel the chamber quiet, order House guards to shut off Internet access and require members to quietly stay in their seats.” Meanwhile, homosexual state Rep. Bob “Twenty Dollar” Allen gets to check out Internet blowjob porn from his home! Who gets the last laugh now, moralists? [Miami Herald] Read more on …
 

McCain Called His Wife C-Word

No you silly hobos, it wasn’t “runt”! We all know how angry John “McNasty” McCain is, and since he only married Cougar Cindy for her beer money and firm bum bum, they would obviously have a dysfunctional relationship. According to Cliff Schecter’s new book, The Real McCain, this one time in 1992, he went all “Hanoi” on her and called her a cunt. That is what he called her. Read more on McCain Called His Wife C-Word…
 

Meet President McNasty

John McCain’s depressing tour of places where he used to be young has also reminded America of his high-school nickname, “McNasty.” Even before he was a brain-damaged old psychopath, McCain was a mean, angry creep. Let’s remember all the times Walnuts went nuts in public, so we can prepare for the inevitable campaign-trail explosion that will end his campaign to be America’s Oldest President. Read more on Meet President McNasty…
 

Sassy Teenager Makes Fun of McCain at Alma Mater

John McCain’s Straight Talk Express rolls on with Day Two of his “Service to America” tour, where he goes and visits the ol’ Prohibition-era haunts of his childhood (like old, depressed men do in movies). WALNUTS! went to his alma mater — the elitist Episcopal High School — in Virginia today. All of the students had to attend and watch him reminisce about towel-slapping his pasty racist friends in the steam room after a rowdy match of Kick the Can. Then one student had the nerve to ask what the hell this crap-on-a-stick biography tour had to do with them, and WALNUTS! naturally got fresh with the ingrate. Read more on Sassy Teenager Makes Fun of McCain at Alma Mater…
 

Insane Internet About To Commit Suicide Over Hillary Clinton’s Existence

Christ, the Pennsylvania primary isn’t until April 22 and at its current rate, the Internet will have long since committed suicide, over and over and over again. Over the last week, many bloggers have gotten so bored with the lack of actual news that they have become werewolves. Specifically, the level of violent rage directed at Hillary Clinton has reached that of Osama bin Laden in late 2001. Do not be surprised to see some of the bloggers below resort to self-immolation the next time Hillary Clinton says something on a radio show. Read more on Insane Internet About To Commit Suicide Over Hillary Clinton’s Existence…