• Heard on the Hill: Dick Cheney attends ceremony for, but doesn’t personally give award to Plamegate reporter Tom DeFrank… Website declares John Thune “hottest” sentator. [Roll Call]
• Under the Dome: Rep. Bill Young’s wife auctions off shirt she was escorted from SOTU for wearing… Gresham Barrett (R-SC) holds “Shag n’ Eat” fundraiser today. [The Hill]
• Reliable Source: Documentary producer tells Al Gore, “I’m one of the producers of Fuck.” … Andy Card was literally hung from the flagpole at U.S. Merchant Marine Academy. [Reliable Source]
• Rush & Molloy: Barbara Bush attends Radiohead’s New York show. Thom Yorke says had he known, he would’ve had her bounced. [NYDN]

This week’s pre-Memorial Day edition of Wonk’d has everyone’s favorite White House golden boy, Karl Rove, and original press nightmare, Ari Fleischer, in good seats watching the Nationals. Some of the senior citizens in our government, like Antonin Scalia and Donald Rumsfeld, must think baseball is for kids — they only go to fancy parties. Maybe when Scooter Libby and Matt Cooper learn to dress properly, they’ll get invited out too. If he needs to get somewhere, Matt will probably be on Metro, along with his buddy Andy Card, as opposed to being chauffeured everywhere like carbon-hoarding Barack Obama. It’s three whole days before any more Wonk’d, so get everything you can now, after the jump!

So many games, festivals, and parties in Washington these days, and the in-crowd can’t stay away. If you see one of them, let us know by email, with “Wonk’d” or “Sighting” in the subject line, along with the powerbroker’s (or shill’s, or actor’s, of foreign head-of-state’s) name. You send ‘em, we print ‘em - everybody wins!

MORE »

• Reliable Source: The last episode of the West Wing was filled with mistakes. . . Ted Olson will defend Michael Skakel. . . Michael Hayden spotted at the Bombay Club. . . Andy Card and his family seen at Maggiano’s Little Italy in Tysons Corner. [WP]
• Heard on the Hill: McCain jokes that Sen. Jack Reed (D-R.I.) was a bastard child. . . Congress will consider naming Clinton’s birthplace as a National Historic Site. [Roll Call]
• Cindy Adams: Pataki will fundraise for Jeanine Pirro. [NYP]
• Page Six: Chelsea took Hillary to “The Pajama Game” for Mother’s Day. [NYP]

* Reliable Source: Fitness instructor who joked about Bush told friends that he voted for him. . . Stephen Colbert: “This administration is SOARING! They’re rearranging the deck chairs on the Hindenburg.”. . . Laura Bush spotted at Smith & Hawken in Georgetown. . . Andy Card is looking “perky” now that he can sleep in — until 5 a.m. [WP]
* Heard on the Hill: Tony Snow has referred to Bush as “something of an embarrassment,” “impotent,” and not “truly special”. . . Fitness instructor who offended the Bush twins will go on spinning. [Roll Call]
* Page Six: Smithsonian portrait of Bill Clinton doesn’t include his wedding ring. Responds Hillary flack, “Can you just quote me giving you a different finger?” [NYP]
* Cindy Adams: Bob Woodward is being “kept on a short leash” at the Washington Post. [NYP]
* Lloyd Grove’s Lowdown: Rumsfeld did not attend the retirement ceremony of Eric Shinseki, the former Army Chief of Staff who has been critical of war planning. [NYDN]

* Disapproval of Bush could drive a rejection of Republican candidates in November. GOP pollster: “Democrats will have an easier time of getting out their vote because of their intense disapproval of the president. That means we Republicans are going to have to bring our ‘A’ turnout game in November.” [WP]
* Rumsfeld’s “grip on the Defense Department is slipping as some uniformed officers increasingly chart their own course.” [W$J]
* Republicans back Rumsfeld on Sunday talk shows. [NYT, USAT]
* 48 American troops have died in Iraq so far this month. [USAT]
* If Roe were overturned, 22 states are likely to “impose significant new restrictions on abortion.” [USAT]
* Josh Bolten officially takes office today; he gave Andy Card an Egg McMuffin on his way out. [USAT]
* Time magazine names Sens. Thad Cochran, Kent Conrad, Dick Durbin, Ted Kennedy, Jon Kyl, Carl Levin, Richard Lugar, John McCain, Olympia Snowe, and Arlen Specter as the nation’s best; Sens. Daniel Akaka, Wayne Allard, Jim Bunning, Conrad Burns, and Mark Dayton considered the worst. [Time]
* Immigration rallies “have also energized those who support a crackdown on illegal immigration.” [NYT]
* Can Rep. Tom DeLay be a lobbyist next? [WP]
* Sen. Ted Stevens (R-Alaska) brings sadness to Washington state in an effort to take down Sen. Maria Cantwell (D-Wash.). [WP]
* Supreme Court justices spark laughter just from speaking funny. [USAT]

Yesterday we asked you for guesses as to the identity of the senior administration official who confirmed, by email to the New York Times, “that President Bush had ordered the declassification of parts of a prewar intelligence report on Iraq, in an effort to rebut critics who said the administration had exaggerated the nuclear threat posed by Saddam Hussein.” MORE »

Normally we’d hold off and pass this along with the rest of our Wonk’d celebrity sightings. But since Andrew Card has been in the news a lot lately, after announcing his resignation as White House chief of staff last week, we wanted to pass it along without delay: MORE »

* Rep. Cynthia McKinney hits a Capitol Police officer with her cell phone. We’ve been all over this one — our coverage is collected here (scroll down). MORE »

Yesterday, after Andrew Card’s resignation was announced, we speculated that Treasury Secretary John W. Snow might be the next Administration official to step down. A reader offered this support for the gossip: “I live across the street from Sec’y Snow, and I never see him or his security detail anymore. The guy’s fuckin’ done.” MORE »

Now that Andrew Card has resigned as White House chief of staff, the parlor game has begun. Everyone is speculating: Is this just the first of a string of resignations? If so, who will be heading out the door next? MORE »

This Times piece provides the absolute best in bullshit speculative “reporting” that the Press Corps has to offer. From the desperate attempt to claim to that the President’s dismissive answer to Ms. Bumiller’s “gray-beard” question on Tuesday (”Look, [Congress] have got some ideas that I like and some I don’t like”) could be construed as a vague affirmative, to the classic “there is no news in this news story” disclaimer that comes in graf 6: MORE »