Such turbulence today on America’s favorite autistic British Tory blog, Andrew Sullivan’s Daily Dish! He discovered that he loves Twitter after all, then the Ayatollah launched a digital fatwa on his servers, then he just cold made everything green, and now he has launched war on Twitter for having to perform maintenance tonight. COWARDS! Well, maybe everyone should use the occasion to grab dinner and resume with the riot-twatting afterward, kind of like a Middle East stolen election version of “adult swim.” [Andrew Sullivan]

• OBAMA TO TALK IRAN, MAYBE, LATER: Barack Obama is scheduled to hold a press conference with Italy’s leathery clown king, Silvio Berlusconi, at 5 p.m. today, to discuss Stuff. In other words, a bunch of reporters will harass him about Iran. His options are to either declare war on Iran or allow John McCain and Andrew Sullivan to do it themselves, on Twitter. [Swampland]

Those of you who follow “actual news” in the “real world” probably noticed that Iranian election deal on Friday, and the accompanying freakout when Ahmadinejad was very suspiciously re-elected by a wide margin despite pre-election polls showing the other guy, Mousavi, winning. Anyway Andrew Sullivan has been so on top of this story you could be forgiven for wondering if Trig Palin’s birth records were buried somewhere in there with the Iranian election returns, but now The Daily Dish is loading hella slowly, possibly because of a digital attack. And THAT is what you get for messing with Sarah Palin. [The Daily Dish]

The important conservative political philosophy bloggers at Power Line WON THE MORNING Saturday by writing a pornographic blog post about the sexual meaning of “teabagging,” which their fathers perhaps had taught them the night before. One writes, “What we’re seeing here is the ascendancy of the Low-Life Left. Vulgar, ignorant, profane and abusive, it started on the internet at sites like Daily Kos, Democratic Underground and Wonkette. Discourse at sites like these abandoned all traditional norms of political conversation.” Bah! And now that smut has made its way onto liberal cable news television outlets like MSNBC and CNN! Which leads another writer to conjecture that this sexual act is something invented by 2.5 homosexuals — Rachel Maddow, Andrew Sullivan, and Anderson Cooper — because you know how mean they are. MORE »

• Dylan plugs in!: Plot Functions Weekly centerfold Nate Silver is moving to Brooklyn, of all places. [FiveThirtyEight]
• Obama has a new website, Financialstability.gov, which means Joe Biden will presumably be on the talk show circuit this week, hyping his new daguerreotype flipbook, financeeconomy.website. [The Caucus]
• What we talk about when we talk about waterboarding: Andrew Sullivan calls out the Washington Post for being the Dick Cheney propaganda organ it really is. [Andrew Sullivan]
• It appears there is much confusion within Obama’s new defense against the dark arts team over whether they are still allowed to publicly speak of the “global war on terror.” [Ben Smith]
• New polls, which Nate Silver will now be analyzing from a really chill independent socialist coffee shop, show that for whatever reason, people are feeling better about the economy. [CNN Political Ticker]

• House Republican Eric Cantor responded to some of his critics with the most verboten of language, a sinful technical foul of our Constitution that just last month forced beloved Rod Blagoveich to perform for mercy on the David Letterman program. [HuffPost]
• Another reprehensible instance of GOTCHA!-prepared-statement-giving-to-the-editorial-board-of-a-newspaper from the so-called “MSM”: Steve Austria, the Republican Kaiser of Ohio, blames America’s original great depression (”The Great Depression”) on FDR, despite FDR taking office four years after its start. [Matthew Yglesias]
• Barack Obama has now taken to ambiguously insulting Joe Biden — incidentally and in an off-puttingly earnest way — in public. All this is to avenge Justice Roberts’ honor. [Los Angeles Times]
• About half of America believes that a bunch of possible random names selected from the phone book — a group that in all likelihood would consist solely local mid-priced Italian restaurants — could do a better job in Congress than actual Congress. [Hit & Run]
• George W. Bush: kind of hot in high school. Andrew Sullivan prefers Dick Cheney though, which, ew. [Daily Dish]

You might have heard something about America’s new President, Captain Chesley B. “Sully” Sullenberger. He landed a plane on the Hudson, and was able to repeat the Oath of Office correctly, and now he is famous. Hooray! But how quickly America forgets its original Sully, a one Mr. Andrew “Sully” Sullivan, a Briton whom King George III put in charge of the colonies’ Internet in 1772. Where does one Sully begin and the other Sully end? See Wonkette’s official chart for your very own exciting answers! MORE »

Here it is, the ultimate Andrew Sullivan “Daily Dish,” about vomiting in Christopher Hitchens’ bathroom, which is, of course, symbolic. Thanks to Serolf Divad for sharing. [Andrew Sullivan]

You know who’s having a doggone humdinger of an Inauguration weekend is that Christopher Hitchens, the ex-Trotskyist drink-soaked popinjay war columnist for Slate, Vanity Fair… wherever else! The Internet is awash with stories of his shenanigans this weekend, including a sexy kiss with fellow British anger bear Andrew Sullivan at the Slate party and some hip-hop dancing at the party for Slate’s black people website, The Root! THE GUY’S A MANIAC. MORE »

Oh jesus christ, Bill fuckin’ Kristol, he’s now bragging about his sexy dinner with Obama and Peggy Noonan: “Yesterday, he met with the liberal columnists. And they had a pleasant hour in the conference room in his office. They got some coffee in some styrofoam cups. We had a pleasant dinner at George’s house, and they had some coffee from the machine in the office. But I wouldn’t read too much into that.” Andrew Sullivan, meanwhile, is extraordinarily upset about being called a “liberal columnist” and uses this as another opportunity to plug his book. And the world continues to rotate on an axis. [Think Progress]

• After going out to dinner with the Conservative Columnists, Obama took Maureen Dowd, Frank Rich, Rachel Maddow, Eugene Robinson, etc. out to lunch. Tomorrow he will drunkenly text Ron Paul and Wayne Allyn Root at 1 AM and invite them over to “watch a movie.” [The Caucus]
• Osama bin Laden has made his own YouTube fireside chat in which he sort of teases Barack Obama, but the subtext is “I’m not dead.” [Crooks and Liars]
• Andrew Sullivan wants you to know he has received a lot of emails asking about his off-the-record tryst with Obama but all he will say is that he feels “relief.” Ew. [Andrew Sullivan]
• Bush and Co. have been ordered to surrender their emails from March 2003 to October 2005 to America. This order comes on the heels of concerns that the administration has probably deleted most emails from March 2003 to October 2005. [HuffPost]
• Apparent human-in-beta Caroline Kennedy is the most unpopular person in the history of New York. [CNN Political Ticker]