• If you thought Marion Barry could dance, think again! Because Al Sharpton is nimble as a ballerina. [Michelle Malkin]
• With all its student loans and Mongolian hordes of credit card debt, California is having a hard time paying the bills! But that hasn’t stopped the California State Legislature from jerkin’ the gherkin and debating into the wee hours about COW TAILS and other issues concerning cow anatomy, like, for example, why they have tails and we don’t? Sounds like a job for a new ad-hoc committee! Oh dear, Arnold Schwarzenegger IST SEHR ANGRY. [Hit & Run]
• Andrew Sullivan, his keyboard still dipped in Hezbollah green, continues to blog for freedom, in his bathrobe. And just like everyone else who fights the Man, Andrew Sullivan listens to the hip-hop. Behold: the KRS-One of Iran. Woop-Woop! [Andrew Sullivan]
• A few deeply concerned Republican lawmakers held an intervention for Michele Bachmann, because they were justifiably worried all the paint huffing was taking its toll. But who are you going to listen to, Michele? These Republican faggots, or Alex Jones? [HuffPost]
• The other day we reported that Matt Yglesias was writing a blog about all the fun he was having reading Infinite Jest. Well looky here! The game is the same, but the rules have changed! [Read Infinite Jest Until Ken Layne's Book Is Published]

• CNBC Jamaican Financial Psychic Jim Cramer just wants to do his televised Tarot reading in peace, but Barack Obama keeps calling in and asking tiresome questions about the future. Enough already! [Think Progress]
• There is Andrew Sullivan, Heir of Isildur, who hails from the faraway Atlantic. And then there is Anonymous, your teenage son, who comes from the Basement. They are part of the Fellowship of the Internet, and they must stop Sauron from stealing the election in Iran. [AMERICAblog]
• You look stressed. Why don’t you light a few candles, hop in the tub and relax to the celebrated album Whale Sounds and Michelle Malkin? The first track — “Closing Guantanamo is the easy and lazy thing to do” — always puts us in a magical Enya-like trance. [Michelle Malkin]
• For today’s RedState Bible Study we will be reading 1 Kings 3:16-28, The Judgement of King Obama: “And two women appeared before Obama and began to bicker in a most incommodious manner, both insisting they were the mother of some unborn baby, which wise King Obama knew was impossible. Finally, the King rose from his gilded throne and bellowed, ‘Bring the unborn child to me, so that I may abort it with my sword.’ And then King Obama swatted a fly that landed on his arm. The End.” [RedState]

We know a little bit about disputed elections and revolutions and riots and such, and they all have one thing in common, throughout human history: Twitter. This is why Andrew Sullivan demanded that the always-broken Twitter not undergo some crucial scheduled maintenance tonight. MORE »

Such turbulence today on America’s favorite autistic British Tory blog, Andrew Sullivan’s Daily Dish! He discovered that he loves Twitter after all, then the Ayatollah launched a digital fatwa on his servers, then he just cold made everything green, and now he has launched war on Twitter for having to perform maintenance tonight. COWARDS! Well, maybe everyone should use the occasion to grab dinner and resume with the riot-twatting afterward, kind of like a Middle East stolen election version of “adult swim.” [Andrew Sullivan]

• OBAMA TO TALK IRAN, MAYBE, LATER: Barack Obama is scheduled to hold a press conference with Italy’s leathery clown king, Silvio Berlusconi, at 5 p.m. today, to discuss Stuff. In other words, a bunch of reporters will harass him about Iran. His options are to either declare war on Iran or allow John McCain and Andrew Sullivan to do it themselves, on Twitter. [Swampland]

Those of you who follow “actual news” in the “real world” probably noticed that Iranian election deal on Friday, and the accompanying freakout when Ahmadinejad was very suspiciously re-elected by a wide margin despite pre-election polls showing the other guy, Mousavi, winning. Anyway Andrew Sullivan has been so on top of this story you could be forgiven for wondering if Trig Palin’s birth records were buried somewhere in there with the Iranian election returns, but now The Daily Dish is loading hella slowly, possibly because of a digital attack. And THAT is what you get for messing with Sarah Palin. [The Daily Dish]

The important conservative political philosophy bloggers at Power Line WON THE MORNING Saturday by writing a pornographic blog post about the sexual meaning of “teabagging,” which their fathers perhaps had taught them the night before. One writes, “What we’re seeing here is the ascendancy of the Low-Life Left. Vulgar, ignorant, profane and abusive, it started on the internet at sites like Daily Kos, Democratic Underground and Wonkette. Discourse at sites like these abandoned all traditional norms of political conversation.” Bah! And now that smut has made its way onto liberal cable news television outlets like MSNBC and CNN! Which leads another writer to conjecture that this sexual act is something invented by 2.5 homosexuals — Rachel Maddow, Andrew Sullivan, and Anderson Cooper — because you know how mean they are. MORE »

• Dylan plugs in!: Plot Functions Weekly centerfold Nate Silver is moving to Brooklyn, of all places. [FiveThirtyEight]
• Obama has a new website, Financialstability.gov, which means Joe Biden will presumably be on the talk show circuit this week, hyping his new daguerreotype flipbook, financeeconomy.website. [The Caucus]
• What we talk about when we talk about waterboarding: Andrew Sullivan calls out the Washington Post for being the Dick Cheney propaganda organ it really is. [Andrew Sullivan]
• It appears there is much confusion within Obama’s new defense against the dark arts team over whether they are still allowed to publicly speak of the “global war on terror.” [Ben Smith]
• New polls, which Nate Silver will now be analyzing from a really chill independent socialist coffee shop, show that for whatever reason, people are feeling better about the economy. [CNN Political Ticker]

• House Republican Eric Cantor responded to some of his critics with the most verboten of language, a sinful technical foul of our Constitution that just last month forced beloved Rod Blagoveich to perform for mercy on the David Letterman program. [HuffPost]
• Another reprehensible instance of GOTCHA!-prepared-statement-giving-to-the-editorial-board-of-a-newspaper from the so-called “MSM”: Steve Austria, the Republican Kaiser of Ohio, blames America’s original great depression (”The Great Depression”) on FDR, despite FDR taking office four years after its start. [Matthew Yglesias]
• Barack Obama has now taken to ambiguously insulting Joe Biden — incidentally and in an off-puttingly earnest way — in public. All this is to avenge Justice Roberts’ honor. [Los Angeles Times]
• About half of America believes that a bunch of possible random names selected from the phone book — a group that in all likelihood would consist solely local mid-priced Italian restaurants — could do a better job in Congress than actual Congress. [Hit & Run]
• George W. Bush: kind of hot in high school. Andrew Sullivan prefers Dick Cheney though, which, ew. [Daily Dish]

You might have heard something about America’s new President, Captain Chesley B. “Sully” Sullenberger. He landed a plane on the Hudson, and was able to repeat the Oath of Office correctly, and now he is famous. Hooray! But how quickly America forgets its original Sully, a one Mr. Andrew “Sully” Sullivan, a Briton whom King George III put in charge of the colonies’ Internet in 1772. Where does one Sully begin and the other Sully end? See Wonkette’s official chart for your very own exciting answers! MORE »

Here it is, the ultimate Andrew Sullivan “Daily Dish,” about vomiting in Christopher Hitchens’ bathroom, which is, of course, symbolic. Thanks to Serolf Divad for sharing. [Andrew Sullivan]