MAYBE THIS WILL HUSH THEM UP: Ahh, here’s a much deserved article in the Washington Post about how insanely rude and distracting it is for people like Dick Cheney and Andy Card to be whining about how Obama is helping the terrorists win with his LACK OF A SUIT COAT during the first few weeks of a new administration, and an economic collapse. These people should imitate their suddenly more dignified ex-boss, George W. Bush, and shush. [WP]

The wicked liberals at the Huffington Post read about George W. Bush chief of staff Andrew Card’s completely inappropriate “whipping” of Barack Obama for not wearing a coat sometimes in the Oval Office and immediately found a single picture of Bush without a coat. Hooray, the Muslims lose! Also, check out the embarrassing photo of Bill Clinton in his flannel pajamas. [The Swamp]

Jack Goldsmith is some guy who used to work at the DOJ, and so, natch, he’s got a book coming out. It’s called something like “Why I’m a Good Conservative and Not an Evil One” or something like that. The New York Times published an excerpt today, and OMG, is it boring? This is supposed to be the juiciest stuff from the forthcoming remainder-bin mold-gatherer, and all we get is this: MORE »

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In testimony before the Senate yesterday, former deputy Attorney General James B. Comey did the unthinkable: he made us sympathetic to John Ashcroft. Wholda thunk? MORE »

Yesterday we asked you for guesses as to the identity of the senior administration official who confirmed, by email to the New York Times, “that President Bush had ordered the declassification of parts of a prewar intelligence report on Iraq, in an effort to rebut critics who said the administration had exaggerated the nuclear threat posed by Saddam Hussein.” MORE »

All we can say is that our Anonymous Hill Staffer needs to get laid. There is notable lack of actual sex and a surfeit of the simulated variety this week, as well as a couple lessons in increasing your word power (among other things).

AHS also let us know that he’d been drinking less than usual this week, because, apparently, a lot of work has to get done in Congress before everyone skips town on Friday. It’s Jesus’ fault, natch. “It’s his birthday or his anniversary coming up next week, so everyone’s going home to be act like they’re good Jesus-lovers.” On that note, this week’s installment of Ask A Hill Staffer is after the jump.

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Under the Dome: SNL’s Rachel Dratch is invited to fill in for Rep. Jean Schmidt (R-Ohio) at a primary debate. . . Sen. Orrin Hatch (R-Utah) says HBO’s “Big Love” is “just plain trash”. . . Frank Luntz: “Every time I see the Republicans on TV immediately I get a migraine headache. I’m allergic to Republican language.”. . . Peter Gabriel visits Capitol Hill today to advocate against human-rights abuses in Burma. [The Hill]
Lloyd Grove’s Lowdown: Andrew Card, Alberto Gonzales, Robert Mueller and Joe Albaugh have a less-than inconspicuous dinner out. [NYDN]

Normally we’d hold off and pass this along with the rest of our Wonk’d celebrity sightings. But since Andrew Card has been in the news a lot lately, after announcing his resignation as White House chief of staff last week, we wanted to pass it along without delay: MORE »

* Rep. Cynthia McKinney hits a Capitol Police officer with her cell phone. We’ve been all over this one — our coverage is collected here (scroll down). MORE »

Yesterday, after Andrew Card’s resignation was announced, we speculated that Treasury Secretary John W. Snow might be the next Administration official to step down. A reader offered this support for the gossip: “I live across the street from Sec’y Snow, and I never see him or his security detail anymore. The guy’s fuckin’ done.” MORE »