Tag Archives: andrew breitbart

  The Treachery of Images

Breitbarterdammerung: The Final Reckoning

Communications theorist Howard Rheingold coined the term “smart mobs” to describe the potential for technology to bring people together in empowering, creative ways to do good in the world. Consider if you will the Twitter Revolutions in Tunisia and Egypt, for instance. Or, closer to home, the Great Justice that resulted when a bunch of nerds noticed that a tacky artistic tribute to dead poopyhead Andrew Breitbart was mostly filched from a promotional image of a downloadable character for the 2010 video game Assassin’s Creed: Brotherhood. Read more on Breitbarterdammerung: The Final Reckoning…
  wonkette investigates

Hideous $3999.95 Painting of Andrew Breitbart Actually Swiped from Video Game

Welcome to a very special guest post by long-time Wonkette reader “Doktor Zoom.” Enjoy! So, you know that painting by David Bugnon of Dead Guy Andrew Breitbart as a Teutonic Knight in Heaven, ready to take on commies, liberal scumbags, and innocent Department of Agriculture employees from beyond the grave? You know, the painting that one actual professional art critic called a “masterpiece of Outsider art, a veritable holocaust-tsunami of bad taste?” The painting that Patriot Depot is selling reproductions of for the bargain price of a mere $3999.95 for a limited-edition 36″ x 48″ giclee on canvas? The painting which The Patriot Update bravely calls, “The Painting Obama Fears?” Yeah, it’s not so much a painting as a Photoshop mashup of a stock photo of Andrew Breitbart and a character from the copyrighted computer game Assassin’s Creed: Brotherhood, with a pretty sunset-and-clouds background that probably also came from some stock photo website — no doubt somebody will find that soon, too. (NOW WITH UPDATE BELOW!) Read more on Hideous $3999.95 Painting of Andrew Breitbart Actually Swiped from Video Game…
  teen moms (not bristol)

Los Angeles Area High School Now Genociding Latinos By Giving Them Birth Control

What’s new in Planned Parenthood genociding? We aggregate Ghost Andrew Breitbart aggregating the Los Angeles Times for answers, and lord do we find them! Did you know Roosevelt High School, in a low-income, heavily Latino area (Boyle Heights, LA peeps), still has lots of teen motherhood? And that in order to do something about this, they are bringing Planned Parenthood on campus? And that the parents simply REFUSE to be SO ANGRY? What fresh horror is this??? Single motherhood rates among teens are down in Los Angeles County for the last several years; for teenagers 15-19, there were 29 births per thousand, vs. 37 per thousand in 2005. But at Roosevelt High School, located in a low-income, heavily Latino area, single motherhood is still out of control. So the school will now host Planned Parenthood on campus. Students do not need parental permission to receive either an abortion or contraceptive care in California. Planned Parenthood provides free contraceptive care, including a patch, a ring, pills, or a shot. “We don’t really experience the traditional narrative of angry parents not wanting access to reproductive care in the schools,” explained Planned Parenthood’s LA executive director, Sue Dunlap. “It’s really the opposite.” Our teeth, they are gnashed to stubs! Our hair, it is torn! Our 18-year-old son, he has not yet knocked anyone up in spite of his best efforts! Read more on Los Angeles Area High School Now Genociding Latinos By Giving Them Birth Control…
  shucking and jibing

Black Congresswoman Is Black

Ghost Andrew Breitbart simply does not care for this “screeching screaming song and dance” performed by Democratic (did we not already say she was black?) Congresswoman Gwen Moore. But why? What could they possibly have against this nice lady’s funny Def Jam Poetry about Scott Walker’s sleazy voter nullification and everything else he has ever done? Read more on Black Congresswoman Is Black…
 

Here Is A Painting Of Ghost Andrew Breitbart As A Nordic Knight

Patriot Depot, supplies for the conservative revolution, has what you crave, and that is seven different versions of this amazing portrait of Ghost Andrew Breitbart titled Fight. You could buy it in a pack of post cards; you could buy a giclee print; you could buy a $49.95 version, or a $3,999.95 version, because $4000 would just be a silly price to pay for this, but $3,999.95 is a steal! Read more on Here Is A Painting Of Ghost Andrew Breitbart As A Nordic Knight…
  dan abrams' mediaite

Dan Abrams Will Not Let His Mediaite Be Bullied By That Trollop Meghan McCain!

Dan Abrams, owner of the often-fun Mediaite, wants you to know right in his headline that he, Dan Abrams, questioned his writer, Noah Rothman, over what Abrams perceived as Rothman’s total-bullshit hack-job hit piece on Meghan McCain, wherein Rothman said McCain was a “bully” for saying Michelle Malkin was a syphilitic granny-raper and that Andrew Breitbart could spin on Satan’s dick. LIBEL! Malkin is not a granny raper! She will make love to your granny (who was asking for it). But that was before Meghan McCain proved Rothman’s point by referring constantly to Mediaite as “Dan Abrams’ Mediaite,” and if being associated with Mediaite is not bullying Dan Abram, then what on earth would be? (Unless it is Mediaite that is being bullied by its association with Dan Abrams? There is only one way to find out, and that would be to contact him, and therefore we will never, ever know.) Read more on Dan Abrams Will Not Let His Mediaite Be Bullied By That Trollop Meghan McCain!…
  big tents

Young Meghan McCain Speaks Ill Of Dead Andrew Breitbart, Live Michelle Malkin

Wonkette bestie Megs McCabe was on The Al Sharpton Show (because why wouldn’t she be?) and she simply does not care for the rest of her Republican party fellows treating her like a freak and a mutant just because she loves gay marriage and boning! More big tents for Megs! (Also, the Democrats do it too, Megs says, because there are no moderate Democrats anymore, mmhmm!) And who is to blame? People sowing fear and hate, specifically “hateful extremist” Ghost Andrew Breitbart and horrible hellbeast Michelle Malkin. “Those are bloggers?” Sharpton asks. Well, in a manner of speaking. Read more on Young Meghan McCain Speaks Ill Of Dead Andrew Breitbart, Live Michelle Malkin…
  dumb and dumberer

Breitbart’s Biggest Bombshell Yet: Someone Else’s SAT Scores Prove Obama Might Be Dumber Than Bush!

Ghost Andrew Breitbart never sleeps, there is too much VETTENING to be done! The latest, it will knock you out of your bobby sox, cats and kittens! But what is it? What VETTENING could keep spreading and growing, like the brain holes you get from syphilis? Oh, only THIS (prepaaaare yourselves!): President Barack Obama is hailed by his supporters and the mainstream media as one of the most brilliant men ever to hold the office. However, his refusal to release his academic records, his admitted deficiencies as a student, and his frequent factual errors–even in his chosen field of constitutional law–have cast doubt upon his supposed genius. Now, Breitbart News has established that Obama’s grades and Scholastic Aptitude Test (SAT) scores may have been even lower than those of his supposedly less capable predecessor, George W. Bush. May it, Ghost Andrew Breitbart? May it really? Well, as we all know, the fact that some people think it may proves how despereate the White House is, ergo Obama is tarded. But let us look at your evidence, together! Read more on Breitbart’s Biggest Bombshell Yet: Someone Else’s SAT Scores Prove Obama Might Be Dumber Than Bush!…
  boooooooo

You Don’t Gotta Tell Joe Arpaio About (Debunked) Literary Agent’s ‘Kenya’ Brochure, He’s Got This

Ghost Andrew Breitbart must be spinning in hell. He told these idiots that the “birther” stuff was “not a winning issue,” and what did these fuckwads at his ghost web empire do? They ran a total birther story with a long embarrassed introduction explaining that they weren’t birthers per se — um, let’s see — it’s about how Obama has portrayed himself differently at different times of his life. Almost as if, when he was a college student, he did not portray himself as president of the United States, and vice versa. It is very fishy how he has done that indeed! But uh oh! Within hours of posting their best VETTENING yet, a PDF of a Bammerz’s publishing company brochure SAYING HE WAS BORN IN KENYA, it turned out that some lady who was an assistant at the literary agency at the time (’91) said it was all her fault, sloppy fact-checking oopsie! An editorial assistant doing sloppy fact-checking? THE FUCK YOU SAY. As a Breitbart follow-up notes, though, Bamz’s erstwhile literary agent requests that you email her a biography you wrote about yourself, as would also obviously have been the case in 1991 as well, when nobody had email. How’d you get to this supposed “assistant,” Nobama? Which of your SEIU thugz did you send over threatening MURDER? Sheriff Joe Arpaio, who was recently sued by the Feds for being too awesome, would like to know! WND (because who else?) has the scoop! Read more on You Don’t Gotta Tell Joe Arpaio About (Debunked) Literary Agent’s ‘Kenya’ Brochure, He’s Got This…
  yup still dead

Be Very Afraid: The Only Witness To Death Of Breitbart Has ‘Vanished’

Well, that seals it. Barack Obama’s body count is now almost as high as the murderous Clinton Crime Family’s! Whom is he capping? (That is gang talk, because Barack Obama is a Chicago thug.) Anybody and everybody who might have led to the Ghost of Breitbart releasing something way awesomer about Bill Ayers than the sad dud “Vettening” he posthumously laid. WingNutDaily, having first brought us the news of the mysterious death by maybe-poisoning of a coroner’s tech who may or may not have worked on the case of Dead Breitbart (he didn’t), now has another link in this case of murder most foul, and it really ties the whole room together. What’s the latest SCOOP? They couldn’t find the “sole witness” to his death, because he might have moved. That is a mysterious “vanishing” indeed! Read more on Be Very Afraid: The Only Witness To Death Of Breitbart Has ‘Vanished’…
  old gaffey joe

Somehow It Is A Gaffe For Joe Biden To Talk About Domestic Violence, We Guess

We do not get this Breitbart.com post at all. Not like, haha, they are stupid and illogical (as per usual); no, we literally have absolutely no idea what they are trying to say here. Did they accidentally hire the Fox Mole to post audio of Joe Biden talking about the courage of women who call the cops on their abusers, his speech interrupted by wild applause? What exactly is their problem here? Your guesses, surely, will be better than ours. Here is the entirety of Breitbart’s post (plus the video, which is after the jump): “Last time I was down, I had them turn on one of the calls. And a young women, a young women was on the phone saying “I’m calling. Oh my god, oh my god. I see him, he’s coming. I’m standing between Radioshack and Gap. I’m in the mall Please, please, oh god!” That’s the reality. And I love these people who why don’t these women have the courage to get up and leave. Can you imagine the courage it takes to pick up that phone and make the call. We should all have so much courage.” That is their whole post, presumably because it speaks for itself? Haha? What an idiot? We guess? Read more on Somehow It Is A Gaffe For Joe Biden To Talk About Domestic Violence, We Guess…
  murder most fowl

Whom Did Obama Murder Now? Breitbart’s Coroner, Probably

Uh oh you guys. A forensic technician for the Los Angeles coroner died and it might have been poison. And he may or may not have personally worked on Andrew Breitbart’s corpse. And it was the same day good ol’ Sheriff Joe “announced probable cause for forgery in President Obama’s birth certificate.” And this is all in the same story because? Can’t help you there, dudes. Just, you know, “WND.” Read more on Whom Did Obama Murder Now? Breitbart’s Coroner, Probably…
  and here and here and here

Andrew Breitbart Tribute Video ‘Breitbart Is Here’ Is Quite Something

Out of respect for the late Andrew Breitbart, it is not right to make fun of (the legacy of the ghost of) Breitbart as it pertains to this tribute video for Breitbart by one Chris Cassone, but the truth is, that is not even necessary, because the video itself is where the most Breitbart-ghost-legacy-related fun can be found…to make. “Breitbart Is Here” has so much to offer: disobedience of the basic laws of perspective, practiced by all self-respecting artists since the mid-15th century, an unhealthy but not at all unexpected penchant for rhyming, leading to curious and bad lyrics, an egregious amount of visual symbolism meant to convey puppets, talking heads, monkeys and such, and an overly literal portrayal of just where the spirit of Breitbart “is,” these days, as illustrated by Breitbart fliers, which in the video are affixed to visibly liberal real-world locations such as the New York Times building. And rather business-savvily, it looks like this video is the natural progression of the BREITBART IS HERE “brand,” which began with an “iconic” poster/t-shirt thing. So smart! Read more on Andrew Breitbart Tribute Video ‘Breitbart Is Here’ Is Quite Something…
  hard out here for a pimp

WONKETTE EXCLUSIVE! James O’Keefe Depos: Breitbart Paid Pimp, Ho Mad Cheddar For ACORN Videos

WONKET EXCLUSIVE! MUST CREDIT WONKETTE!!1! Very independent citizen-journalist James O’Keefe and his equally self-funded co-star in the ACORN stings, Hannah Giles, got real paid shortly after finishing their videos in the early fall of 2009, according to depositions taken three weeks ago. The pair admitted under oath to signing contracts with (the now recently deceased) Andrew Breitbart and his business partner, attorney Larry Solov, for the sum total of $120,000. Pretty shocking, right? You could buy a fairly high-end sex boat with that kind of cash. Or, one could, anyway. The depositions were taken this past March at the Washington, D.C. offices of Planet Depos — a third-party supplier of certified court reporters and legal videographers that is really, actually named that, which is totally great. The depositions were taken as part of an ongoing lawsuit filed by Juan Carlos Vera, a former ACORN employee secretly recorded by O’Keefe and Giles during their sting at the community organizing group’s San Diego offices. (Recording confidential conversations without the consent of all parties is a violation of section 632 of the California penal code.) Read more on WONKETTE EXCLUSIVE! James O’Keefe Depos: Breitbart Paid Pimp, Ho Mad Cheddar For ACORN Videos…
  bigsadness

Breitbart’s Ghost: Obama Exploited Catholics By Being Endorsed By Them

It is War on Catholics Day here at your Wonkette HQ, because there is nothing Barack Obama won’t do to Ruin Easter. He hates Catholics so much that he worked for a super-anti-Catholic Catholic Cardinal, at whose Catholic-hating knee he learned to make war on Catholics in the first place. And now Ghost of Breitbart’s The Vetting Two: Moar Vettening reveals even more of his dastardly plan to make war on Catholics by working to enact the Catholics’ anti-Catholic plan for universal healthcare. (Oh yeah, even Pope Nazi, the least favorite pope of “liberal Catholics” as if there could ever even be such a thing, says nations must provide healthcare for their citizenry because it is a moral imperative and one of the “inalienable rights” of man, because he is anti-Catholic too.) Anyhoo, here is how the newest Vettening begins. (Please remove all children and pregnant ladies from the room. Viewer precaution is advised.) Read more on Breitbart’s Ghost: Obama Exploited Catholics By Being Endorsed By Them…
  K-Lo will be your new Inquisitor

Breitbart’s Ghost: Obama Learned How To War On Catholics From Catholic Cardinal At War With Catholics

You guys, the Ghost of Breitbart is back with MOAR VETTENING, and the newest installment is AWESOME. Perhaps you have been wondering just when Barry O’s hard-on for ETERNAL WAR against the Papists began? Well it began because he ACORNED for liberal Catholics in Chicago, including the then-liberal Chicago Cardinal (the Church kind, not the beisbol kind) Joseph Bernardin, who okayed his travel expenses and such. How liberal was this Cardinal Bernardin? He said Gorbachev deserved the credit for the breakup of the USSR, NOT REAGAN!!!1! Read more on Breitbart’s Ghost: Obama Learned How To War On Catholics From Catholic Cardinal At War With Catholics…
  hollywood square

‘Bad Boy’ Breitbart Guy Who Grilled Bono (Impersonator) Now Has Whole Book About Celebrities

Remember like a week ago, when “bad boy” Breitbart reporter Jason Mattera turned out to be “bad” at his job? There he was, just cold grillin’ Bono about being a big huge hypocrite for, we don’t know, probably “taxes and Africa,” and he was all GOTCHA! and Sean Hannity was all yes, please, let’s put that on television, but then it turned out “Bono” was some pudgy schlub who didn’t even have a fake Irish accent. Well, be excited, because Jason Mattera now has an entire book where he can not recognize all the Hollywood celebrities in the whole wide world! (Jason, if you want to ask Michael Jackson about “Africa and taxes,” there are two of him outside Grauman’s right now, with Spider-Man. You are welcome!) Now let us review Ghost of Andrew Breitbart’s book review about this book, Hollywood Hypocrites, because it is even better than the real thing baby! A Review of “‘HOLLYWOOD HYPOCRITES’ REVIEW: BRUTAL TAKEDOWN OF TINSEL TOWN’S BIGGEST MOUTHS” By Jason Mattera by Kurt Schlichter by Wonkette Read more on ‘Bad Boy’ Breitbart Guy Who Grilled Bono (Impersonator) Now Has Whole Book About Celebrities…
  waiting for a miracle

Ghost Andrew Breitbart Is Your New Che

Hey hepcats and coeds! Are you looking for a new saint and/or martyr to silkscreen on your unwashed Tee? Well stop it, because you do not need to look because He is all around you, and He is right “here.” Wait, what? Who? Ghost Andrew Breitbart, that’s who! Are you perhaps milling about outside the Supreme Court, trying to get into some fisticuffs? Then you have seen Him. He is everywhere. He is legion. He Is Here. Read more on Ghost Andrew Breitbart Is Your New Che…
  great moments in journalism

Breitbart’s Ghost: Weiner’s Wiener Was More Important Than (Limited) Time With My Children

That’s sad, you guys: Ghost Andrew Breitbart is out with a new book (coming soooooon!) about Anthony Weiner’s wiener, and it is all about how he totally ignored his kids because of the IMPORTANT WORK daddy had to do … in chasing a story about Anthony Weiner’s underweared junk. Sure, he bagged a feared lib Congressman, but knowing then what he knows now about life’s precious shortness and stuff, well, it seems like maybe he should have chosen differently. If only he had watched that kinda good (don’t tell anyone) Adam Sandler movie (Blink? Click? Something) or listened to that Harry Chapin song! Gonna have a good time then, Dad! You know we’ll have a good time then! Sadly, no. Read more on Breitbart’s Ghost: Weiner’s Wiener Was More Important Than (Limited) Time With My Children…
  she said/it said

Misunderstood Gentleman James O’Keefe Sues Former ‘Accomplice’ for Raping His Computer

Former James O’Keefe “accomplice” Nadia Naffe — no, not that former accomplice, a different one — has now come out with Part Two of her Erotic Suspense Thriller “The Night in the Barn,” and James O’Keefe, as any defamed and belibeled Christian gentleman would do, he is a-suin’! What does Nadia say happened that night in the barn? That James O’Keefe was a whiny, petulant manchild whose dander went up at her sexual rejection of him, possibly roofied her beer, wouldn’t leave the barn where she was to stay and then once she couldn’t walk abandoned her in said barn, showed back up only when she insisted he get her to a train station or she’d call the police, called all their mutual friends and said she was a filthy whore, and (at a different time) totally secretly taped sexings between him (?) and a Mystery Lady named Emma. What does Young Master O’Keefe say happened? Read more on Misunderstood Gentleman James O’Keefe Sues Former ‘Accomplice’ for Raping His Computer…
  critical racist theory

Race Provocateur Condoleezza ‘Al Sharpton Jr.’ Rice Claims Society Is Still Racist

Whoa whoa WHOA there, Ms. Al Sharpton Jr. and OJ Simpson Jr. Combined! Andrea Mitchell Reported on Andrea Mitchell Reports that known African-American confirmed bachelorette and former Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice, when asked about the Trayvon Martin case perpetrating in Florida, said that we are not a race-blind society. HOW DARE SHE AND ET CETERA! What is she going to do next, claim that there is still institutional racism, particularly at the intersection of race, the courts and the law? How will Tucker Carlson and Ghost Andrew Breitbart feel about this? Will they call her a race pimp? Will they taint everyone who’s ever hugged her with guilt-by-hugging? For some reason, we do not think so. They might even pretend to forget that Condi staunchly defended Affirmative Action too — along with fellow whiny-ass titty-baby Colin Powell — but will they ever be able to get over the fact that she does not even bother to explain that the worst racism is pointing out when something is racist? OUTRAGING video and transcript, after the jump! Read more on Race Provocateur Condoleezza ‘Al Sharpton Jr.’ Rice Claims Society Is Still Racist…
  to the pain

James O’Keefe Might Possibly Have a Problem With Women

The fine people at Mediaite have an excellent ‘splainer braiding together the threads of onetime James O’Keefe comrade Nadia Naffe, her harassment complaint against him, the “night in the barn,” her upcoming tell-all, and other assorted completely unhilarious doings. They are better men than your editrix, who can barely read Naffe’s original harassment complaint without a long pull of Pepto and a Silkwood shower. Read more on James O’Keefe Might Possibly Have a Problem With Women…