Tag Archives: andrew breitbart

  news you can't use

Ghost Andrew Breitbart Helped Convince John Boehner That Nobody Was Going To Overthrow Him

As it turns out, the plot to overthrow John Boehner and replace him with someone who didn’t actually know they were up for Speaker of the House was larger than previously thought. The short version is that there were a lot more crazy GOP Representatives plotting to get rid of Boehner than just the ones who picked random names to vote for, but everyone rebuffed them, and they were super secretive about it. Blah blah blah parliamentarian tactics that weren’t going to work but here’s the hilarious part, guys, ok? Notably, the attempt was plotted independently from, and without the knowledge of, a public effort led by a young conservative activist and former GOP Rep. Jeff Landry, which created buzz about Boehner’s possible ouster in conservative media. Landry lost re-election to Boehner ally Rep. Charles Boustany Jr., R-La., in a member-vs.-member contest brought about by redistricting. Breitbart.com covered the Landry effort extensively, and one Republican member who participated in the larger coup attempt said Breitbart’s coverage of the smaller push actually helped keep their effort hidden because it suggested to Boehner and his allies that talk of a coup wasn’t serious. Members of the larger coup plot deliberately excluded top aides from deliberations to enhance secrecy and to protect them from recrimination. Read more on Ghost Andrew Breitbart Helped Convince John Boehner That Nobody Was Going To Overthrow Him…
  Passing the Baton

Ghost Andrew Breitbart Welcomes Moonie ‘Investigative Reporter’ For All Future Racism Debunkings

Lest anyone think that the continued twitchings of the Breitbart Empire represent some sort of chant du cygne, the crew at Big Government want you to know that there’s a danse macabre in the old dame yet! That is to say, just as Dick Cheney continues to feed on the souls of the living, Ghost Breitbart is still bringing in new blood. Just last week, they acquired Matthew Boyle for their important “black people are thugs” beat, and now, they’ve scored “investigative journalist” Kerry Picket from the Moonie Times. We’re pretty sure that we won’t accidentally call her “him” anymore! Read more on Ghost Andrew Breitbart Welcomes Moonie ‘Investigative Reporter’ For All Future Racism Debunkings…
  Circular Shootout at the Big Breitbart Corral

Ghost Breitbart’s ‘Happy Cult’ Degenerates Into Sad Mess Of Confusion And Backbiting

As we all know from the plot of virtually every big Hollywood gangster movie ever made, when there’s a gang of loutish thugs and the head lout is removed, the remaining loutish thugs invariably turn on each other in a frenzy of loutishness and thuggery. This is apparently what is going on at rightwing internet concern Breitbart.com following the sudden death of Andrew Breitbart on March 1 of this year, according to this juicy Buzzfeed story by McKay Coppins, which says the late lout’s “web empire” is now “plagued by an unusual degree of disorganization and rampant infighting as his disciples battle for ownership of his legacy.” Golly. No one could have seen THAT coming! Read more on Ghost Breitbart’s ‘Happy Cult’ Degenerates Into Sad Mess Of Confusion And Backbiting…
  the rated r superstar

Hollywood Liberals Conspire To Give R Rating To Children’s Film About Andrew Breitbart

Sorry, kids, but Pixar’s newest release, Hating Breitbart, will be rated R, so you will have to either sneak in with fake IDs or wait for it to appear on Encore in, oh, three months. The Daily Caller smells a conspiracy! Producers of the biographical documentary “Hating Breitbart” got news last week that their film received an “R” rating from the Motion Picture Association of America. And with that move official Hollywood, long the preserve of liberal culture warriors, has had what appears to be the last laugh on the late Andrew Breitbart. Oh, yes, the MPAA, that sterling bastion of cultural libertines. (Ask Kevin Smith about getting an NC-17 for language, right after he finishes his guest post at Pajamas Media.) Read more on Hollywood Liberals Conspire To Give R Rating To Children’s Film About Andrew Breitbart…
  sex drugs and real estate

Romney Camp To Take Up Breitbart’s Torch In Obama Vettening

Watch out, Barack Obama! You’re in for a good old-fashioned VETTENING! “[Romney] has said Obama’s a nice fellow, he’s just in over his head,” [a Romney] adviser said. “But I think the governor himself believes this latest round of attacks that have impugned his integrity and accused him of being a felon go so far beyond that pale that he’s really disappointed. He believes it’s time to vet the president. He really hasn’t been vetted; McCain didn’t do it.” Is it twue? Did Obama Hug A Black Guy? Romneyland will get to the bottom of it! “I mean, this is a guy who admitted to cocaine use, had a sweetheart deal with his house in Chicago, and was associated and worked with Rod Blagojevich to get Valerie Jarrett appointed to the Senate,” the adviser said. Read more on Romney Camp To Take Up Breitbart’s Torch In Obama Vettening…
  allahu akbar and stuff

Fox News Mixing Up All Its Scary Muslims

Egypt democratically elected her first president yesterday, Mohamed Morsi, a former member of the Muslim Brotherhood’s Guidance Office and president of their Freedom and Justice Party. We say former because as soon as his election was announced, as he promised, he resigned from both of these positions in order to convince secularists and Christians that he will serve ALL of Egypt, not just his MB pals. Egyptians still wait for him to ban all alcohol, close all the bars and make all the women wear veils. Nervous jokes on Twitter included some guy’s hash dealer telling him to stock up on smoke since that may be all he can get for a while. Read more on Fox News Mixing Up All Its Scary Muslims…
  The Treachery of Images

Breitbarterdammerung: The Final Reckoning

Communications theorist Howard Rheingold coined the term “smart mobs” to describe the potential for technology to bring people together in empowering, creative ways to do good in the world. Consider if you will the Twitter Revolutions in Tunisia and Egypt, for instance. Or, closer to home, the Great Justice that resulted when a bunch of nerds noticed that a tacky artistic tribute to dead poopyhead Andrew Breitbart was mostly filched from a promotional image of a downloadable character for the 2010 video game Assassin’s Creed: Brotherhood. Read more on Breitbarterdammerung: The Final Reckoning…
  wonkette investigates

Hideous $3999.95 Painting of Andrew Breitbart Actually Swiped from Video Game

Welcome to a very special guest post by long-time Wonkette reader “Doktor Zoom.” Enjoy! So, you know that painting by David Bugnon of Dead Guy Andrew Breitbart as a Teutonic Knight in Heaven, ready to take on commies, liberal scumbags, and innocent Department of Agriculture employees from beyond the grave? You know, the painting that one actual professional art critic called a “masterpiece of Outsider art, a veritable holocaust-tsunami of bad taste?” The painting that Patriot Depot is selling reproductions of for the bargain price of a mere $3999.95 for a limited-edition 36″ x 48″ giclee on canvas? The painting which The Patriot Update bravely calls, “The Painting Obama Fears?” Yeah, it’s not so much a painting as a Photoshop mashup of a stock photo of Andrew Breitbart and a character from the copyrighted computer game Assassin’s Creed: Brotherhood, with a pretty sunset-and-clouds background that probably also came from some stock photo website — no doubt somebody will find that soon, too. (NOW WITH UPDATE BELOW!) Read more on Hideous $3999.95 Painting of Andrew Breitbart Actually Swiped from Video Game…
  teen moms (not bristol)

Los Angeles Area High School Now Genociding Latinos By Giving Them Birth Control

What’s new in Planned Parenthood genociding? We aggregate Ghost Andrew Breitbart aggregating the Los Angeles Times for answers, and lord do we find them! Did you know Roosevelt High School, in a low-income, heavily Latino area (Boyle Heights, LA peeps), still has lots of teen motherhood? And that in order to do something about this, they are bringing Planned Parenthood on campus? And that the parents simply REFUSE to be SO ANGRY? What fresh horror is this??? Single motherhood rates among teens are down in Los Angeles County for the last several years; for teenagers 15-19, there were 29 births per thousand, vs. 37 per thousand in 2005. But at Roosevelt High School, located in a low-income, heavily Latino area, single motherhood is still out of control. So the school will now host Planned Parenthood on campus. Students do not need parental permission to receive either an abortion or contraceptive care in California. Planned Parenthood provides free contraceptive care, including a patch, a ring, pills, or a shot. “We don’t really experience the traditional narrative of angry parents not wanting access to reproductive care in the schools,” explained Planned Parenthood’s LA executive director, Sue Dunlap. “It’s really the opposite.” Our teeth, they are gnashed to stubs! Our hair, it is torn! Our 18-year-old son, he has not yet knocked anyone up in spite of his best efforts! Read more on Los Angeles Area High School Now Genociding Latinos By Giving Them Birth Control…
  shucking and jibing

Black Congresswoman Is Black

Ghost Andrew Breitbart simply does not care for this “screeching screaming song and dance” performed by Democratic (did we not already say she was black?) Congresswoman Gwen Moore. But why? What could they possibly have against this nice lady’s funny Def Jam Poetry about Scott Walker’s sleazy voter nullification and everything else he has ever done? Read more on Black Congresswoman Is Black…
 

Here Is A Painting Of Ghost Andrew Breitbart As A Nordic Knight

Patriot Depot, supplies for the conservative revolution, has what you crave, and that is seven different versions of this amazing portrait of Ghost Andrew Breitbart titled Fight. You could buy it in a pack of post cards; you could buy a giclee print; you could buy a $49.95 version, or a $3,999.95 version, because $4000 would just be a silly price to pay for this, but $3,999.95 is a steal! Read more on Here Is A Painting Of Ghost Andrew Breitbart As A Nordic Knight…
  dan abrams' mediaite

Dan Abrams Will Not Let His Mediaite Be Bullied By That Trollop Meghan McCain!

Dan Abrams, owner of the often-fun Mediaite, wants you to know right in his headline that he, Dan Abrams, questioned his writer, Noah Rothman, over what Abrams perceived as Rothman’s total-bullshit hack-job hit piece on Meghan McCain, wherein Rothman said McCain was a “bully” for saying Michelle Malkin was a syphilitic granny-raper and that Andrew Breitbart could spin on Satan’s dick. LIBEL! Malkin is not a granny raper! She will make love to your granny (who was asking for it). But that was before Meghan McCain proved Rothman’s point by referring constantly to Mediaite as “Dan Abrams’ Mediaite,” and if being associated with Mediaite is not bullying Dan Abram, then what on earth would be? (Unless it is Mediaite that is being bullied by its association with Dan Abrams? There is only one way to find out, and that would be to contact him, and therefore we will never, ever know.) Read more on Dan Abrams Will Not Let His Mediaite Be Bullied By That Trollop Meghan McCain!…
  big tents

Young Meghan McCain Speaks Ill Of Dead Andrew Breitbart, Live Michelle Malkin

Wonkette bestie Megs McCabe was on The Al Sharpton Show (because why wouldn’t she be?) and she simply does not care for the rest of her Republican party fellows treating her like a freak and a mutant just because she loves gay marriage and boning! More big tents for Megs! (Also, the Democrats do it too, Megs says, because there are no moderate Democrats anymore, mmhmm!) And who is to blame? People sowing fear and hate, specifically “hateful extremist” Ghost Andrew Breitbart and horrible hellbeast Michelle Malkin. “Those are bloggers?” Sharpton asks. Well, in a manner of speaking. Read more on Young Meghan McCain Speaks Ill Of Dead Andrew Breitbart, Live Michelle Malkin…
  dumb and dumberer

Breitbart’s Biggest Bombshell Yet: Someone Else’s SAT Scores Prove Obama Might Be Dumber Than Bush!

Ghost Andrew Breitbart never sleeps, there is too much VETTENING to be done! The latest, it will knock you out of your bobby sox, cats and kittens! But what is it? What VETTENING could keep spreading and growing, like the brain holes you get from syphilis? Oh, only THIS (prepaaaare yourselves!): President Barack Obama is hailed by his supporters and the mainstream media as one of the most brilliant men ever to hold the office. However, his refusal to release his academic records, his admitted deficiencies as a student, and his frequent factual errors–even in his chosen field of constitutional law–have cast doubt upon his supposed genius. Now, Breitbart News has established that Obama’s grades and Scholastic Aptitude Test (SAT) scores may have been even lower than those of his supposedly less capable predecessor, George W. Bush. May it, Ghost Andrew Breitbart? May it really? Well, as we all know, the fact that some people think it may proves how despereate the White House is, ergo Obama is tarded. But let us look at your evidence, together! Read more on Breitbart’s Biggest Bombshell Yet: Someone Else’s SAT Scores Prove Obama Might Be Dumber Than Bush!…
  boooooooo

You Don’t Gotta Tell Joe Arpaio About (Debunked) Literary Agent’s ‘Kenya’ Brochure, He’s Got This

Ghost Andrew Breitbart must be spinning in hell. He told these idiots that the “birther” stuff was “not a winning issue,” and what did these fuckwads at his ghost web empire do? They ran a total birther story with a long embarrassed introduction explaining that they weren’t birthers per se — um, let’s see — it’s about how Obama has portrayed himself differently at different times of his life. Almost as if, when he was a college student, he did not portray himself as president of the United States, and vice versa. It is very fishy how he has done that indeed! But uh oh! Within hours of posting their best VETTENING yet, a PDF of a Bammerz’s publishing company brochure SAYING HE WAS BORN IN KENYA, it turned out that some lady who was an assistant at the literary agency at the time (’91) said it was all her fault, sloppy fact-checking oopsie! An editorial assistant doing sloppy fact-checking? THE FUCK YOU SAY. As a Breitbart follow-up notes, though, Bamz’s erstwhile literary agent requests that you email her a biography you wrote about yourself, as would also obviously have been the case in 1991 as well, when nobody had email. How’d you get to this supposed “assistant,” Nobama? Which of your SEIU thugz did you send over threatening MURDER? Sheriff Joe Arpaio, who was recently sued by the Feds for being too awesome, would like to know! WND (because who else?) has the scoop! Read more on You Don’t Gotta Tell Joe Arpaio About (Debunked) Literary Agent’s ‘Kenya’ Brochure, He’s Got This…
  yup still dead

Be Very Afraid: The Only Witness To Death Of Breitbart Has ‘Vanished’

Well, that seals it. Barack Obama’s body count is now almost as high as the murderous Clinton Crime Family’s! Whom is he capping? (That is gang talk, because Barack Obama is a Chicago thug.) Anybody and everybody who might have led to the Ghost of Breitbart releasing something way awesomer about Bill Ayers than the sad dud “Vettening” he posthumously laid. WingNutDaily, having first brought us the news of the mysterious death by maybe-poisoning of a coroner’s tech who may or may not have worked on the case of Dead Breitbart (he didn’t), now has another link in this case of murder most foul, and it really ties the whole room together. What’s the latest SCOOP? They couldn’t find the “sole witness” to his death, because he might have moved. That is a mysterious “vanishing” indeed! Read more on Be Very Afraid: The Only Witness To Death Of Breitbart Has ‘Vanished’…