Tag: andrea mitchell

Dear Media: HI! GO FUCK YOURSELF!

Thanks a lot, media, for literally helping turn the world's greatest democracy over to a fucking tyrant.

Gary Johnson Knows Learning Things Is A Gateway Drug To Knowing Things

This idiot does not give stoners a good name.

RNC Day Two: Some Business Went Down At The BuzzFeed Party, We Guess!

Also, Wonkette made America great again, because it was on our hat.
Caramba!

NH Primary Down To Donald Trump’s Watermelon-Sized Balls, Ted Cruz’s Vagina

In Manchester, New Hampshire, Monday night, Donald Trump continued an unbroken string of getting away with crap that would have sunk any other campaign in history, enthusiastically repeating a supporter's shout that Ted Cruz is a pussy for hesitating...

MSNBC: Let’s Invade San Bernardino Suspect’s Mom’s Privacy, For ‘Journalism’

Hey ALL THE MEDIA, you still having fun investigatin' the San Bernardino terrorist attack? (Yes, we can call it that now, because the FBI confirmed it. See how that works, Fox News?) Have you come up with any new...
What is she hiding? WHAT IS SHE HIDING?

Hillary Clinton Apologizes For Whatever It Was She Did While Being Hillary Clinton

Hillary Clinton apologized Tuesday for having used a private email server while she was secretary of state, acknowledging in an interview with ABC News, “As I look back at it now, even though it was allowed, I should have...
56 repeals of Obamacare!

Morning Maddow: Republican Congress Fiddles While Syria Burns (Video)

Congratulations, Republicans! You've been running both houses of Congress for a month now, and so far, you've failed to pass your own bills on abortion and immigration, but at least you did pass a bill to demand building the...
Delete your account, NYT

Andrea Mitchell Is Why We Can’t Have Nice Things

Have you heard the story about the president who got a blowjob from a lady who wasn't his wife? Sure you did. Because that blowjob would be old enough to drive a car by now, and lots of hack...

Chuck Todd Meets The Press, Needs To Improve Listening Skills

Chuck Todd is so excited, you guys! It's his first week as the new host of Meet the Press. That other guy with two first names failed his way into a $4 million buyout and NBC, looking to bring...

David Gregory Booted From NBC, At Least He Has $4 Million To Keep Him Company

This is definitely the saddest news of the day. No, the week. No, the century. Basically, it is the saddest thing ever. EVER. NBC's David Gregory, best known for asking really great questions on "Meet the Press" and getting his...

Astonishing! Ted Cruz Turns Out To Be A Thin-Skinned Whiner-Boy!

Here is Andrea Mitchell recalling a little run-in that she had last spring with Sen. Ted Cruz (R-Poutine). Mitchell was on the Morning Joe gabfest yesterday, and said that Cruz appeared to be far more interested in pursuing his...

Andrea Mitchell: Reagan Supported Gun Laws; Gun Dude: Who, That Senile Old Man?

Andrea Mitchell interviewed one of the gun lobby's many useless idiots, Erich Pratt (heh) of Gun Owners of America, and did us all the service of pointing out that she's not allowed to go on the teevee and call...

Aspirin Has Other Exciting Off-Label Use Ladies Will Want To Know About

This ancient billionaire coot with the game show host grin is Foster Friess, the big bucks behind some Rick Santorum Super PAC, and he would like to tell you that America is far too obsessed with the fictional problem...

Whoa: Hamid Karzai Is a Heroin Addict?

Former UN envoy Peter Galbraith just said on MSNBC that Afghanistan's weirdo president, Hamid Karzai, is a junkie. "He can be very emotional, act impulsively," Galbraith said on the Andrea Mitchell show. "In fact, some of the palace insiders...

Andrea Mitchell, New Gay Icon

Hey guess what! All the news today is about the STIMULUS PACKAGE, which is too boring/complicated/serious to actually make jokes over. So it is with profound delight and relief that we find this utterly useless piece over in the...

SO THERE'S THAT: A-ha, Andrea Mitchell reports that Rahm Emanuel has accepted the offer to become Obama's chief of staff! O-ho, Andrea Mitchell is wrong! Whoa hey! Now go back to your jobs people, nothing to see here.