Tag Archives: andrea mitchell

  Your Morning Maddow

Morning Maddow: Republican Congress Fiddles While Syria Burns (Video)

56 repeals of Obamacare!
Congratulations, Republicans! You’ve been running both houses of Congress for a month now, and so far, you’ve failed to pass your own bills on abortion and immigration, but at least you did pass a bill to demand building the Keystone XL pipeline — the same month as five other pipelines in the nation exploded or ruptured. And the House voted for the 56th time to repeal/restrict/delay Obamacare, so there’s that. Read more on Morning Maddow: Republican Congress Fiddles While Syria Burns (Video)…
 

Andrea Mitchell Is Why We Can’t Have Nice Things

Delete your account, NYT
Have you heard the story about the president who got a blowjob from a lady who wasn’t his wife? Sure you did. Because that blowjob would be old enough to drive a car by now, and lots of hack “journalists” cut their teeth typing out the scintillating details of semen stains and cigars. Which is why they are the one subspecies on this planet, and probably any other in the universe, that can never forget. The world marches on, a president leaves office, another one steals his seat, then another takes his place — but the Very Serious Journalists will never let go of The Blowjob. Read more on Andrea Mitchell Is Why We Can’t Have Nice Things…
  first day of school

Chuck Todd Meets The Press, Needs To Improve Listening Skills

Chuck Todd is so excited, you guys! It’s his first week as the new host of Meet the Press. That other guy with two first names failed his way into a $4 million buyout and NBC, looking to bring back the powerhouse once steered by Tim Russert, took the opportunity to slip Tim’s son Luke and Morning Misery Joe Scarborough in along with Chuck to lend the proper gravitas. We couldn’t wait to see Chuck’s debut Sunday morning, by which we mean we slept in and caught the late rerun. Read more on Chuck Todd Meets The Press, Needs To Improve Listening Skills…
  If it's Sunday David Gregory's sitting around unemployed

David Gregory Booted From NBC, At Least He Has $4 Million To Keep Him Company

This is definitely the saddest news of the day. No, the week. No, the century. Basically, it is the saddest thing ever. EVER. NBC’s David Gregory, best known for asking really great questions on “Meet the Press” and getting his objective journalist on by dancing with Karl Rove at the 2007 nerd prom, has been sacked. Ousted. Booted. Shit-canned. Read more on David Gregory Booted From NBC, At Least He Has $4 Million To Keep Him Company…
  no one saw it coming

Astonishing! Ted Cruz Turns Out To Be A Thin-Skinned Whiner-Boy!

Here is Andrea Mitchell recalling a little run-in that she had last spring with Sen. Ted Cruz (R-Poutine). Mitchell was on the Morning Joe gabfest yesterday, and said that Cruz appeared to be far more interested in pursuing his Presidential Destiny (as prophesized by his father), instead of making nice, being Senatorial, or passing laws: “Ted Cruz’s strategy is that he wants to be either a presidential nominee or part of the presidential process,” Mitchell said. “He has no strategy to get along and make friends and produce legislation in the Senate.” You would think that someone who wants to be preznit would know that Friendship is Magic, but that is apparently just not on Ted’s agenda, thank you very much, he is a busy man who has some very important grandstanding to do. Read more on Astonishing! Ted Cruz Turns Out To Be A Thin-Skinned Whiner-Boy!…
  stopped clock

Andrea Mitchell: Reagan Supported Gun Laws; Gun Dude: Who, That Senile Old Man?

Andrea Mitchell interviewed one of the gun lobby’s many useless idiots, Erich Pratt (heh) of Gun Owners of America, and did us all the service of pointing out that she’s not allowed to go on the teevee and call people fucking cunts no matter how bad she wants to. Nor can she go on television and announce the sailing dates of ships in wartime. (Only Geraldo Rivera can do that.) If the First Amendment is not “absolute,” why then would the Second Amendment be? Then she explainered that St. Ronald Reagan, sitting now at the right hand of the Father, and who will come again to judge the living and the dead, loooved gun control, maybe because he was shot with one? And the gun lobby stooge had a super good answer: that St. Ronald Reagan, sitting now at the right hand of the Father, etc., etc., was a senile old Frankenstein monster who was shoved around by his harpie of a wife. And he hated gun control despite all evidence to the contrary. (Spoiler: he was wrong!) Read more on Andrea Mitchell: Reagan Supported Gun Laws; Gun Dude: Who, That Senile Old Man?…
  may cause stupidity

Aspirin Has Other Exciting Off-Label Use Ladies Will Want To Know About

This ancient billionaire coot with the game show host grin is Foster Friess, the big bucks behind some Rick Santorum Super PAC, and he would like to tell you that America is far too obsessed with the fictional problem of reproductive health and not nearly concerned enough with the very real and urgent problem of “jihadist camps being set up in Latin America.” That is a good story! Tell us another story, old-timer! “Back in my day, they used Bayer aspirin for contraceptives. The gals put it between their knees and it wasn’t that costly,” he explains. Oooh, so that’s how the baby boomer generation happened. The more you know! Read more on Aspirin Has Other Exciting Off-Label Use Ladies Will Want To Know About…
  talkin' smack

Whoa: Hamid Karzai Is a Heroin Addict?

Former UN envoy Peter Galbraith just said on MSNBC that Afghanistan’s weirdo president, Hamid Karzai, is a junkie. “He can be very emotional, act impulsively,” Galbraith said on the Andrea Mitchell show. “In fact, some of the palace insiders say that he has a certain fondness for some of Afghanistan’s most profitable exports.” Ha ha, you should’ve seen the look on Chuck Todd’s face. In fact, you can do that, by watching this video clip: Read more on Whoa: Hamid Karzai Is a Heroin Addict?…
  she's no hillary clinton

Andrea Mitchell, New Gay Icon

Hey guess what! All the news today is about the STIMULUS PACKAGE, which is too boring/complicated/serious to actually make jokes over. So it is with profound delight and relief that we find this utterly useless piece over in the New York Observer about how The Gays, as a monolithic group with a single well-defined set of tastes, all worship Andrea Mitchell, unequivocally. Read more on Andrea Mitchell, New Gay Icon…
  for the record

SO THERE’S THAT: A-ha, Andrea Mitchell reports that Rahm Emanuel has accepted the offer to become Obama’s chief of staff! O-ho, Andrea Mitchell is wrong! Whoa hey! Now go back to your jobs people, nothing to see here. [MSNBC] Read more on …
  boom-boom

Andrea Mitchell Nearly Killed By John McCain’s War Balloons

Here is the highlight of John McCain’s big acceptance speech extravaganza last night: that time Andrea Mitchell was nearly murdered in a sneak balloon attack, and all of her supposed “friends” on the MSNBC coolly mocked her and called her “Boom Boom,” which is code for “old-timey boxing hero cut down in her prime by elitist balloons.” It is always a tragedy, for America, when news anchors have to interact with the physical world. [YouTube] Read more on Andrea Mitchell Nearly Killed By John McCain’s War Balloons…
  media ethics

Andrea Mitchell Is Definitely A Shill For Either The Democrats Or The Republicans

Someday Andrea Mitchell will publish her memoirs and it will be the most rollicking account of a sassy girl reporter navigating our nation’s halls of power since Barbara Walters’ book came out. It will be all about crazy three-ways with Objectivists and that time she shared a spliff with Spiro Agnew. But in the meantime, everybody is constantly being mean to Andrea Mitchell because she’s always shilling for the other guy. Read more on Andrea Mitchell Is Definitely A Shill For Either The Democrats Or The Republicans…
  98 more days

Rick Davis Gets Snippy With Andrea Mitchell On TeeVee

Here’s a lengthy segment from MSNBC today, where lovely anchor/reporter Andrea Mitchell talks on the telephone to McCain campaign manager Rick Davis, the adult retarded child responsible for that hilarious memo yesterday about Obama’s food choices, excercise regimen and overall popularity everywhere. He’s a twit. He tells Andrea that the McCain campaign has always been positive and not Trivial; it is focused on Important Issues like offshore drilling. Andrea’s like, “you’re an idiot, you stupid idiot” and Rick’s like, “no Barry Obama is an idiot.” The best part is when they talk about peanut butter snacks 12 minutes in. Peanut butter snacks… [MSNBC] Read more on Rick Davis Gets Snippy With Andrea Mitchell On TeeVee…
  journalistic integrities

Andrea Mitchell Angry That Press Wasn’t Invited To Obama’s Basketball Game

The Obama campaign is all about IMAGE CONTROL these days and GOOD OPTICS, which is why nobody can wear a green Hamas shirt around the candidate. Now Barack Obama is stone cold ignoring the press on his Middle Eastern Hope ‘N Basketball Tour, leaving it to some military nobody to hold the camera while he shoots three-pointers when really such hard-hitting news coverage should be left to trained journalistic professional nobodies. Read more on Andrea Mitchell Angry That Press Wasn’t Invited To Obama’s Basketball Game…
 

MSNBC, CNN Call It for Barack

Andrea started hinting about 10 minutes ago, but it’s now official on MSNBC and CNN: they’re both projecting Obama (or, as Chris Matthews loves to say “Barack Hussein Obama”) to win the Iowa caucuses. Andrea notes that turnout, which was expected to be about the record 150,000 people, has topped 200,000 caucusers which worked against Hillary. Young women, who Hillary has been doggedly pursuing, have been voting for Obama in droves as she feared. Also, I think Chris Matthews said that we’re all voting for Obama because we want to date him, but they were showing a picture of Obama at the time and I heard birds singing and bells ringing and missed it. Read more on MSNBC, CNN Call It for Barack…