Tag Archives: andrea mitchell

  Your Morning Maddow

Morning Maddow: Republican Congress Fiddles While Syria Burns (Video)

56 repeals of Obamacare!
Congratulations, Republicans! You’ve been running both houses of Congress for a month now, and so far, you’ve failed to pass your own bills on abortion and immigration, but at least you did pass a bill to demand building the Keystone XL pipeline — the same month as five other pipelines in the nation exploded or ruptured. And the House voted for the 56th time to repeal/restrict/delay Obamacare, so there’s that. Read more on Morning Maddow: Republican Congress Fiddles While Syria Burns (Video)…
 

Andrea Mitchell Is Why We Can’t Have Nice Things

Giving the orders for BENGHAZI?????!?!!!!?
Have you heard the story about the president who got a blowjob from a lady who wasn’t his wife? Sure you did. Because that blowjob would be old enough to drive a car by now, and lots of hack “journalists” cut their teeth typing out the scintillating details of semen stains and cigars. Which is why they are the one subspecies on this planet, and probably any other in the universe, that can never forget. The world marches on, a president leaves office, another one steals his seat, then another takes his place — but the Very Serious Journalists will never let go of The Blowjob. Read more on Andrea Mitchell Is Why We Can’t Have Nice Things…
  first day of school

Chuck Todd Meets The Press, Needs To Improve Listening Skills

Chuck Todd is so excited, you guys! It’s his first week as the new host of Meet the Press. That other guy with two first names failed his way into a $4 million buyout and NBC, looking to bring back the powerhouse once steered by Tim Russert, took the opportunity to slip Tim’s son Luke and Morning Misery Joe Scarborough in along with Chuck to lend the proper gravitas. We couldn’t wait to see Chuck’s debut Sunday morning, by which we mean we slept in and caught the late rerun. Read more on Chuck Todd Meets The Press, Needs To Improve Listening Skills…
  If it's Sunday David Gregory's sitting around unemployed

David Gregory Booted From NBC, At Least He Has $4 Million To Keep Him Company

This is definitely the saddest news of the day. No, the week. No, the century. Basically, it is the saddest thing ever. EVER. NBC’s David Gregory, best known for asking really great questions on “Meet the Press” and getting his objective journalist on by dancing with Karl Rove at the 2007 nerd prom, has been sacked. Ousted. Booted. Shit-canned. Read more on David Gregory Booted From NBC, At Least He Has $4 Million To Keep Him Company…
  no one saw it coming

Astonishing! Ted Cruz Turns Out To Be A Thin-Skinned Whiner-Boy!

Here is Andrea Mitchell recalling a little run-in that she had last spring with Sen. Ted Cruz (R-Poutine). Mitchell was on the Morning Joe gabfest yesterday, and said that Cruz appeared to be far more interested in pursuing his Presidential Destiny (as prophesized by his father), instead of making nice, being Senatorial, or passing laws: “Ted Cruz’s strategy is that he wants to be either a presidential nominee or part of the presidential process,” Mitchell said. “He has no strategy to get along and make friends and produce legislation in the Senate.” You would think that someone who wants to be preznit would know that Friendship is Magic, but that is apparently just not on Ted’s agenda, thank you very much, he is a busy man who has some very important grandstanding to do. Read more on Astonishing! Ted Cruz Turns Out To Be A Thin-Skinned Whiner-Boy!…
  stopped clock

Andrea Mitchell: Reagan Supported Gun Laws; Gun Dude: Who, That Senile Old Man?

Andrea Mitchell interviewed one of the gun lobby’s many useless idiots, Erich Pratt (heh) of Gun Owners of America, and did us all the service of pointing out that she’s not allowed to go on the teevee and call people fucking cunts no matter how bad she wants to. Nor can she go on television and announce the sailing dates of ships in wartime. (Only Geraldo Rivera can do that.) If the First Amendment is not “absolute,” why then would the Second Amendment be? Then she explainered that St. Ronald Reagan, sitting now at the right hand of the Father, and who will come again to judge the living and the dead, loooved gun control, maybe because he was shot with one? And the gun lobby stooge had a super good answer: that St. Ronald Reagan, sitting now at the right hand of the Father, etc., etc., was a senile old Frankenstein monster who was shoved around by his harpie of a wife. And he hated gun control despite all evidence to the contrary. (Spoiler: he was wrong!) Read more on Andrea Mitchell: Reagan Supported Gun Laws; Gun Dude: Who, That Senile Old Man?…
  may cause stupidity

Aspirin Has Other Exciting Off-Label Use Ladies Will Want To Know About

This ancient billionaire coot with the game show host grin is Foster Friess, the big bucks behind some Rick Santorum Super PAC, and he would like to tell you that America is far too obsessed with the fictional problem of reproductive health and not nearly concerned enough with the very real and urgent problem of “jihadist camps being set up in Latin America.” That is a good story! Tell us another story, old-timer! “Back in my day, they used Bayer aspirin for contraceptives. The gals put it between their knees and it wasn’t that costly,” he explains. Oooh, so that’s how the baby boomer generation happened. The more you know! Read more on Aspirin Has Other Exciting Off-Label Use Ladies Will Want To Know About…
  talkin' smack

Whoa: Hamid Karzai Is a Heroin Addict?

Former UN envoy Peter Galbraith just said on MSNBC that Afghanistan’s weirdo president, Hamid Karzai, is a junkie. “He can be very emotional, act impulsively,” Galbraith said on the Andrea Mitchell show. “In fact, some of the palace insiders say that he has a certain fondness for some of Afghanistan’s most profitable exports.” Ha ha, you should’ve seen the look on Chuck Todd’s face. In fact, you can do that, by watching this video clip: Read more on Whoa: Hamid Karzai Is a Heroin Addict?…
  she's no hillary clinton

Andrea Mitchell, New Gay Icon

Hey guess what! All the news today is about the STIMULUS PACKAGE, which is too boring/complicated/serious to actually make jokes over. So it is with profound delight and relief that we find this utterly useless piece over in the New York Observer about how The Gays, as a monolithic group with a single well-defined set of tastes, all worship Andrea Mitchell, unequivocally. Read more on Andrea Mitchell, New Gay Icon…
  for the record

SO THERE’S THAT: A-ha, Andrea Mitchell reports that Rahm Emanuel has accepted the offer to become Obama’s chief of staff! O-ho, Andrea Mitchell is wrong! Whoa hey! Now go back to your jobs people, nothing to see here. [MSNBC] Read more on …
  boom-boom

Andrea Mitchell Nearly Killed By John McCain’s War Balloons

Here is the highlight of John McCain’s big acceptance speech extravaganza last night: that time Andrea Mitchell was nearly murdered in a sneak balloon attack, and all of her supposed “friends” on the MSNBC coolly mocked her and called her “Boom Boom,” which is code for “old-timey boxing hero cut down in her prime by elitist balloons.” It is always a tragedy, for America, when news anchors have to interact with the physical world. [YouTube] Read more on Andrea Mitchell Nearly Killed By John McCain’s War Balloons…
  media ethics

Andrea Mitchell Is Definitely A Shill For Either The Democrats Or The Republicans

Someday Andrea Mitchell will publish her memoirs and it will be the most rollicking account of a sassy girl reporter navigating our nation’s halls of power since Barbara Walters’ book came out. It will be all about crazy three-ways with Objectivists and that time she shared a spliff with Spiro Agnew. But in the meantime, everybody is constantly being mean to Andrea Mitchell because she’s always shilling for the other guy. Read more on Andrea Mitchell Is Definitely A Shill For Either The Democrats Or The Republicans…
  98 more days

Rick Davis Gets Snippy With Andrea Mitchell On TeeVee

Here’s a lengthy segment from MSNBC today, where lovely anchor/reporter Andrea Mitchell talks on the telephone to McCain campaign manager Rick Davis, the adult retarded child responsible for that hilarious memo yesterday about Obama’s food choices, excercise regimen and overall popularity everywhere. He’s a twit. He tells Andrea that the McCain campaign has always been positive and not Trivial; it is focused on Important Issues like offshore drilling. Andrea’s like, “you’re an idiot, you stupid idiot” and Rick’s like, “no Barry Obama is an idiot.” The best part is when they talk about peanut butter snacks 12 minutes in. Peanut butter snacks… [MSNBC] Read more on Rick Davis Gets Snippy With Andrea Mitchell On TeeVee…
  journalistic integrities

Andrea Mitchell Angry That Press Wasn’t Invited To Obama’s Basketball Game

The Obama campaign is all about IMAGE CONTROL these days and GOOD OPTICS, which is why nobody can wear a green Hamas shirt around the candidate. Now Barack Obama is stone cold ignoring the press on his Middle Eastern Hope ‘N Basketball Tour, leaving it to some military nobody to hold the camera while he shoots three-pointers when really such hard-hitting news coverage should be left to trained journalistic professional nobodies. Read more on Andrea Mitchell Angry That Press Wasn’t Invited To Obama’s Basketball Game…
 

MSNBC, CNN Call It for Barack

Andrea started hinting about 10 minutes ago, but it’s now official on MSNBC and CNN: they’re both projecting Obama (or, as Chris Matthews loves to say “Barack Hussein Obama”) to win the Iowa caucuses. Andrea notes that turnout, which was expected to be about the record 150,000 people, has topped 200,000 caucusers which worked against Hillary. Young women, who Hillary has been doggedly pursuing, have been voting for Obama in droves as she feared. Also, I think Chris Matthews said that we’re all voting for Obama because we want to date him, but they were showing a picture of Obama at the time and I heard birds singing and bells ringing and missed it. Read more on MSNBC, CNN Call It for Barack…
 

Gingerbread Woman

Each week, veteran Condiwatcher Peter Huestis (also known as Princess Sparkle Pony) provides a summary of the searing wit and infinite wisdom of America’s Favorite Princess Diplomat™! So you know what the best, most exciting part of last week was? Waiting for Elizabeth Bumiller’s Condiography to finally come out on Tuesday! You know what the worst, most boring part of last week was? Reading it! OMG, so boring! It was a pretty uneventful Condiweek, though, so I’ll be filling up space in this column with some alternative marketing strategies for Ms. Bumiller’s opus. I mean, just because the inside’s boring, it doesn’t mean the outside has to be! Plus! Condoleezza Rice gingerbread cookies fresh from the oven of the Washington Post! All that and Rush Limbaugh, too, after the jump! Read more on Gingerbread Woman…
 

To Do: Fishtails on the Beltway

* After she delights and amuses Judge Walton, Andrea Mitchell will (probably) drag her ass to the Smithsonian for a book promotion/interview with Gwen Ifill. $25 at 8PM. [Smithsonian] * Learn ballroom dancing in the “Corcoran’s famed interior.” Includes the Fox Trot, the Cha-Cha and the Tango. For you hand-sweaters, free champagne. Cocktail attire is encouraged. $45 solo, $75 for a couple at 7PM. Do it for the Tuckster, “I’m 37. I’ve got four kids. I have a steady job. I don’t do things that I’m not good at very often. I’m psyched to get to do that.” [Corcoran] * Apples in Stereo, Casper & The Cookies at the Black Cat. $15 at 8PM. [Black Cat] * Stellastarr and Soft Complex at the Rock & Roll Hotel. $14 at 8PM. [R&R] * Or just stay in and lock your door and for godssake STAY OFF THE ROADS — there’s SNOW! Read more on To Do: Fishtails on the Beltway…
 

To Do: You Scoundrel

* Paul M. Barrett talks about cleavage and his new book American Islam. [P&P] * $20 to see NBC’s chief foreign correspondent, Andrea Mitchell, give an “unprecedented behind-the-scenes view of the television news industry and the Washington political elite. Following the talk, she signs copies of her book, Talking Back…to Presidents, Dictators, and Assorted Scoundrels.” 7:30PM at the Corcoran. [Corcoran] * Jake Laufer and Greg Roth at Galaxy Hut. [MySpace] Read more on To Do: You Scoundrel…
 

Wonk’d: Yglesias Don’t Play That

Bold facers display their blithe indifference to the common man in this week’s Wonk’d as Alan Greenspan laughs uproariously at the unsuspecting pawns in Borat, Bill Clinton ignores dead bodies in the street, and fey Karl Rove won’t even give a guy a courtesy nod. James Baker still keeps it real by hanging at bars – but only if they’re really classy. At least there’s always Marion Barry, who’s hip to the hot spots, and down with the cool styles. All these celebrity drinking habits, plus Grover Norquist reduced to buying last season’s irregular suits off the rack, after the jump. Read more on Wonk’d: Yglesias Don’t Play That…
 

Chatology: Riding the Nuclear Tiger

Editors’ note: Don’t miss Ana Marie Cox’s Washington Post live chat, starting today at 11:30 AM. You can access it here, where you can also find a link for submitting questions to the Original Wonkette about BlackBerry disaster averted. Happy chatting! Chatology this week slightly enlivened by the appearance of Stephen Colbert, though it was offset by Chairman of Joint Chiefs Peter Pace doing a half-Ginsburg; he has the kind of whispery monotone that made us fall asleep during filmstrips in health class. Most notable segment: Bill Kristol channeling Arianna Huffington in his disappointment in the administration, causing massive freakout on the Fox set and Chris Wallace to utter the Quote of the Week: “My whole universe has been rocked.” Top topics: Potential (or ongoing?) civil war in Iraq; Katrina tapes; Dubai port deal. One hit wonders: Two hits for the criminal investigation into Pat Tillman’s death (MTP and FNS); Oscar talk on “This Week” Quotes to live by: • Stephen Colbert on his Oscar expectation: “a lot of jokes [about] abortion… it’s a funny word, like guacamole.” • Peter Pace moderates his view on Iraq: “I wouldn’t put a great big smiley face on it.” • Juan Williams on DHS/FEMA infighting: “I’m going to put that off to two big boys having something in the back yard.” Well, someone saw “Brokeback Mountain.” Full coverage continues after the jump. Read more on Chatology: Riding the Nuclear Tiger…