Everyone very politely say “hello” to John King, who will be taking over journalism now that Lou Dobbs is no longer with us. King’s current gig is hosting State of the Union, which exists. According to Michael Calderone, one of “the good ones” at POLITICO: “The move reflects the network’s stated ambitions to be viewed as non-partisan in the evenings, as opposed to MSNBC and Fox, which boasts more outspoken commentators on the left and right.” However, Lou Dobbs will secretly stay on as Legitimate John King. [Michael Calderone]

Absolutely nothing to do with politics here — “an enjoyable post,” in other words — but here is Ernie Anastos, an anchor at the local Fox station in New York, telling his weatherman to “keep fuckin’ that chicken.” ???. Then they show a clip of ladies exercising and he’s like, I want to bone all of them immediately. OH and while we are in this lovely apolitical oasis, today is the best day since whenever because PAVEMENT is getting back together for a world tour! Anyway… “Republicans suck.” [YouTube]

• LAMERS: The Huffington Post hears from secret NBC people that America’s Safe Pick, David Gregory, has been tapped to host Meet The Press, replacing interim host Tom Brokaw, who can finally retire and fulfill his lifelong dream of fighting in World War II. If Gregory ends up being the official pick, then… then this really won’t affect our lives much at all. [HuffPo]

Due to not watching much teevee your Wonkette editors were generally spared the spectacular series of meltdowns Chris Matthews and Keith Olbermann enjoyed during the conventions, but we understand it was pretty nuts: catty hand gestures and bickering like old lesbians and finally Keith Olbermann refusing to go to St. Paul for fear he would be “assassinated.” Now we can all breathe a sigh of relief because they will not be anchoring the debates or election night for MSNBC. MORE »

So “NewsBusters” worked their ears to the bone to pick out every intelligible remark in today’s now-legendary CNN gaffe. The only important thing they picked up that we missed is this: MORE »

No wonder Fox’s hurricane coverage won the news-channel ratings sweepstakes: They know what the people want, and the people want news correspondents subjected to life-threatening winds and debris. There’s actually a clip reel on the Fox News site that is nothing but wet whipped men. It’s like weatherporn bukkake, only with less dignity. MORE »

Yes, we saw this blind item in the NYDN yesterday:

Which square-jawed anchor — and not the one at CNN or Fox that you’rethinking of — surprised a spywitness recently when he was caught in a clinch with a handsome male companion?

And we had the same reaction, too: Why so mean to Daryn Kagan? Then we realized the Daily News was talking about a boy anchor, which takes all the fun out of it. How many anchors are there whose main identifying feature is a square jaw? Exactly one. Comparison shop at right, going from feline and pointy to lantern-like….Who else could it be? MORE »

Because who doesn’t love a whipped wet man:

• Have you missed Bill Hemmer and his cute non-prescription spectacles? They’ll be on Fox Monday around noon. Also: cable news bloggers have their claws out. . . for each other! [ICN and TVNewser]
• Aaron Brown rumored to be on the outs at CNN; Klein’s deft touch at work again? [The Cable Game]
• Advice to the young newsreader: “Gaining trust takes a lot more than leaning back during the closing credits and smoking a pipe.” [TVSpy]
• Jon Stewart on the “Crossfire” clip: “It was definitely viral. I felt nauseous afterward.” [Wired]
• Is there such a thing as news junkie fan fiction? If it does exist, there is a soundtrack: “Does anyone know of any good, downloadable news music done by fans / amateur musicians? Fan music can sometimes be surprisingly good, so I’m curious if anyone has attempted to compose news themes…” [TVNewsTalk]