* Sam Brownback figures if he spends the night in jail, he’ll have to get some nutsack to butt-crack lovin’. [Political Ticker]
* Donald Rumsfeld is even in denial about the American Civil War. [Think Progress]
* “Experts” are now “evaluating” Ted Haggard’s gayness. [Pandagon]
* Laura Bush is too classy to slap the bitch that was wearing her same dress — she just had highly trained Secret Service agents go and fetch her another one. [Boozhy]
* “The greatest actor, ever” shares his wisdom on how to defeat terrorism, and defeat it the F.A.G. way. [HuffPo]
* Everything William Jefferson does is shady as shit. [MyDD]
* Noam Chomsky “could fart and it would smell like wisdom.” [Power, Seduction and War]

• Conservative British economists endorse Pelosi, enjoy her adherence to “pinkies out” style of tea drinking. [Democracy in America] MORE »

• Justice Scalia speaks out against “homosexual sodomy,” boy/girl buttlove still totally awesome. [Raw Story]

• That feeling of dying a little on the inside you get when you read about the latest thing the President has done? Yea, his father gets it too. [The Carpetbagger Report]
• Iraq is now in full-scale civil war. American troops will be unaffected as their orders remain, “just shoot everybody.” [The Swamp]
• If Venezuela gets the open seat on the UN Security Council, they will, “cockblock John Bolton at every turn.” [The Corsair]
• Cindy Sheehan planted her surgically removed uterus in the ground in Crawford, TX. [Hot Air]
• Bush now mining the fertile fields of late ’80s Tom Cruise movies for talking points. [HuffPo]
• Japan reconsidering nuclear weapons — if created, the warheads would be stored in a 5-missle changer available in either black or silver. [Captain's Quarters]

• Republican strategists accept possibility of losing control of Congress in midterm elections, but not the responsibility for it — that’s Foley’s fault. [WP, NYT]

• FBI knew about Foley emails in July, concluded they “did not rise to the level of criminal activity.” [WP]
• Independent spending by political organizations out paces candidates’ own campaign expenditures in closest races. [WP]
• Bush happy to raise money for any Republican Congressional candidates that will have him. [NYT]
• George Tenet did brief Condoleezza Rice about a “looming” (NYT) and “imminent” (WP) threat from Al Qaeda (NYT) or al-Qaeda (WP), in July 2001. [WP, NYT]
• Lewinsky blowjob jokes once common among Capitol Pages, to be replaced by Foley anal sex jokes. [LAT, USAT]

• George Bush wants to stick all 4 inches of his ” fat headed stub” into your ass, and not like metaphorically over gas prices or anything. [Fleshbot]

• Osama Bin Laden totally not dead, just filming new episodes for this season’s Survivor: Waziristan. [Stop The ACLU]
• Scooter Libby, who would be late to his own funeral, was late to his hearing today, and avoided his own funeral. [TalkLeft]
• 7-Eleven terminating supply contract with Venezuelan owned CITGO gasoline to sell its own brand of gas that will presumably come in “Motormelon” and “Octane Chill” varieties. [Hot Air]
• Cancel the Mandarin classes, China’s going bust. [Global Guerrillas]
• Katherine Harris’s campaign office in Sarasota is a great place to get your drink on, says omniscient Google maps. [Herald-Tribune]
• Rising expectations infect bloggers, being invited to the White House no longer good enough. [Hotline on Call]
• Washington Times HR Director tries to lay his hands on some underage human resources. [Fishbowl DC]

* The lion meat sold at Alexandria’s 2941 was a one time offer, however; side orders of giraffe dung are available daily at the zoo. [Freeride] MORE »

* Ohh, this new blog is very shiny and has so many things to click! [Freeride] MORE »

The Advocate today drew attention to the testimony of Karl Rove aide Israel Hernandez before the Plame investigation grand jury on Friday. Naturally, the buzz is about the ever-tightening noose around Rove and what that means for the president who promised to “restore honor and integrity to the office.” And The Advocate would like us to know that Hernandez is a big gay. MORE »

Thanks to those who have submitted ideas for the special Wonkette edition of Star Spangled Ice Cream (though, we hasten to note, they haven’t actually committed to the project). Some of you went with flavors that might referred to our lefty ideals, others went the ass-fucking, uhm, route. Some of the best: MORE »

The nice folks at the somewhat less-than-ubiquitious Star Spangled Ice Cream company wrote to thank us for the blurb the other day in our “Blogging About Ice Cream” roundup (we’re thinking regular feature, no?). Most bestest part?

You’d make a terrific poster girl for the brand — I think I’ll tell Richard Lessner, the Executive VP and my office mate — former executive director of the American Conservative Union — that he should name a flavor after you. 

Our own ice cream flavor! It’s not edible underpants, but it’s close. What flavor, though? We’re torn. “Pinko Lemonade” or maybe “Moonbat Pie” would certainly describe our political allegiances, but who could resist “Fudge Tunnel”? MORE »