Ha ha, we promised you more news from the Annals of Anal today, and here we have it, the blessed nuptials of the Washingtonienne! This young lady, Jessica Cutler, was briefly famous for keeping a blog about all the gentlemen in Washington she had dirty sex with. She got a book deal (whee!) and a lawsuit (boo!) and then she met some guy in a bar and she married him, early this week, wearing a “tasteful grey suit.” Mazel tov, kids! (Also note that Gawker’s sole and soon-to-be-gone female writer appears to be getting work from the Observer, which is nice.) [New York Observer]

A University of Utah psychologist is displeased with her research being used inappropriately to bolster some nutty “you can think your way out of gayness” argument. But that is not the point. The point is that conservatives are obsessed with anal sex. [Salt Lake Tribune]

Hey Minnesota, would you like to learn more about “oral-anal sex”? Just answer the phone! Chances are you’ll eventually be on the receiving end of a bizarre robo-call from the Minnesota Family Council that warns people against buttsecks, rimming, and other horrors. Apparently the liberals want to give your children hands-on demonstrations of biblically forbidden acts, in school, using fetal pigs and Thai hookers. MORE »

There’s some big news coming out of North Dakota State University, America’s college. The school’s “Saddle and Sirloin Club” held a Mr. NDSU contest recently, and some strange things happened: “People who attended said a pageant contestant from Saddle and Sirloin dressed as a woman from the Internet video ‘I Got a Crush on Obama’ and performed [a lap dance] for another student who was wearing dark makeup and an afro wig. In the background, two male students dressed as cowboys simulated anal sex while holding an Obama sign that one student ripped at the conclusion of the 30-second performance.” Too much Sirloin for the Saddle, as Hillary Clinton likes to say about penises. [Bismarck Tribune]

You don’t have to be a laboratory scientist or explosives expert to know the “Gatorade/iPod Bomb Plot” was total bullshit from Day One; you just need to be able to read and comprehend the simple explanations provided by said laboratory scientists or explosives experts.

We need to bring our coffee back on the airplanes. We need our laptops and DVD players and iPods on those murderous transatlantic flights. We need you help, Washington media elite, so please join us after the jump.

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A Wonkette operative alerts us to a curious example of TSA terror-liquid leniency: While you can’t bring hand lotion or even lip gloss in your carryon, you can carry “up to 4 oz.” of “personal lubricants.” MORE »