McCAIN TRYING TO STEAL WONKETTE’S PAGE VIEWS: As your Wonkette staggers under the heavy load of a trillion people trying to find Sarah Palin pictures online, the evil anti-capitalist McCain Campaign is attempting to steal our precious web traffic with this Google Ad: “Sarah Palin Photos: Get Official Campaign Photos of Governor Sarah Palin Today! JohnMcCain.com/Palin.”

Besides her sudden disappearance from tonight’s RNC lineup, there are many other signs that Sarah Palin will be the first major-party veep nominee to drop off the ticket since George McGovern dumped Thomas Eagleton for being crazy, way back in 1972. What are the other chilling new signs of Snowbilly Loserdom? MORE »

Why did mean old John McCain ruin our favorite Klondike Snow Bunny’s happy life? It’s another day, which means it’s another day of embarrassing revelations about Alaskan Gov. Sarah Palin — last week she was America’s Hottest Governor, and this week she’s a disaster! MORE »

WHY IS McCAIN RUINING THIS LADY’S LIFE? “As a cheap political stunt, McCain dragged this nice lady he doesn’t even know into his doomed campaign, and already the TV commentators and op-ed writers are calling her a dimwit, an amateur, a hapless tool. McCain is such a cruel creep that he’s making Sarah Palin debate Joe Biden.” [Political Machine]

Wonkette’s favorite GILF has now graduated to a losing ticket for vice president. Hooray for Sarah Palin, the new fake Hillary Clinton! And like the Clintons, Palin and her husband, “Todd,” are involved in a horrible scandal in their corrupt nothing state, and it’s about troopers. So let’s offer a brief background about this epic scandal which has ruined her reputation in Alaska, where she used to have 90% approval ratings. And then you will realize exactly how creepy Alaska is where they would care about such a thing. MORE »

Some student at the Univeristy of Alaska-Fairbanks has built a Lego replica of one of the campus’ buildings, and here he depicts Alaska’s hot governor Sarah Palin attending the groundbreaking. She’s even hotter as a freakish piece of plastic. [Ty Keltner, News-Miner]

Ding ding ding, the bun’s out of the oven! “America’s Hottest Governor” and the one and only GILF of Alaska, Sarah Palin, has delivered her fifth child and second son! Here is the statement from the Governor’s office about their new boy, which they have awkwardly named Trig Paxson Van Palin. “Trig is beautiful and already adored by us. We knew through early testing he would face special challenges, and we feel privileged that God would entrust us with this gift and allow us unspeakable joy as he entered our lives. We have faith that every baby is created for good purpose and has potential to make this world a better place. We are truly blessed.” Congrats to Sarah, her husband, and Trigger Von Bill Paxton Palin. Enjoy making No. 6, Mr. Palin! [Alaska Report]

Beloved Alaskan Governor and hot maverick Sarah Palin is seven months pregnant with her fifth kid! She just announced the happy news, and now John McCain’s latest hope for a popular female maverick Republican governor on the GOP ticket is gone forever. People will really do just about anything to avoid being John McCain’s lady vice presidential candidate who will lose with him in November. MORE »

Way back in December 2006, we awarded Alaska’s Sarah Palin the coveted Wonkette title of “America’s Hottest Governor.” Now it’s a year later and Alaska Magazine agrees that Governor Palin is truly our nation’s hottest gubernatorial offering. If you’re in Alaska anytime soon, grab a copy and tell us what the story’s about! [Alaska Magazine]