Tag Archives: americans for prosperity

  ain't no poors on ole rocky top

Tennessee Continues Long Tradition Of Hurting Poors, Totally Sucking

Volunteer this. Stupid poors.
Last year, Tennessee (state motto: We’re Vaguely Rectangular!) got into the hot new game of drug testing welfare recipients to make sure that none of them were spending their time having any fun. Because what good is having poor people if you can’t systematically scold and humiliate them for being poor? Now the results of the first six months of testing are in, and how are they? A rousing success, if your definition of success is busting a whopping 0.2 percent of people who applied for public assistance. Read more on Tennessee Continues Long Tradition Of Hurting Poors, Totally Sucking…
  we are all bozos on this bus

Heroic Koch Brothers Save Nashville From Dystopian Nightmare Of Rapid Transit

Here’s some welcome news! In addition to fighting to keep America safe from the nightmare of health insurance, sending out fishwives to scream at cute-milquetoast MSNBC hosts, and bringing rightwing lunacy to improvisational comedy, it would appear that the nice folks in the Koch Bros. squirrel factory have also managed to sponsor a bill aimed at killing a rapid-transit bus system in Nashville, Tennessee. Actually, the bill would prevent any city in the state from developing a rapid-transit bus system without state approval. You know, because local control is the best form of small government, except when it isn’t. Read more on Heroic Koch Brothers Save Nashville From Dystopian Nightmare Of Rapid Transit…
  property rights uber alles

Please Fund Our Kickstarter To Send Mike Huckabee To North Korea, Where He Can Be Free

Do you dig Mike Huckabee? Who doesn’t, really? If you do, you’ll definitely be into his speech at the Conservative Value Freedom Summit God Bless America Property Rights Jamboree thing over the weekend, sponsored, of course, by Citizens United and Americans For Prosperity. Huckabee, like every other conservative there, was stroking himself off to the thought that there might be an insurrection uprising shootout fun time over Cliven Bundy’s refusal to pay fees to graze his cattle on public land, because everyone knows that God meant for Americans to use every last bit of land for their personal gain whether they own it or not, because freedom. But Huckabee took his haranguing one step farther, and managed to do a conservative greatest hit concert and hit every imaginary grievance those people have. Oh, and he also decided he’d rather live in North Korea because of all their freedoms. Read more on Please Fund Our Kickstarter To Send Mike Huckabee To North Korea, Where He Can Be Free…
  come back betsy mccaughey all is forgiven

Crazy Homeless Lady Wanders Into Chris Hayes’s Studio, Claims To Be Koch Brothers Flunkie

Sweet eight-armed Ganesh, who is this horrible screeching banshee who looks as if she’s about to unhinge her jaw and swallow Chris Hayes whole like a python snacking on an Acehnese tribesman?* Glad you asked! That is one Jennifer Stefano of Americans for Prosperity, an apparently minor-league wingnut whose existence up to now we have been mercifully unaware of. See how great it is to write for Wonkette — you get to peer into the underbelly of an America that even Hunter S. Thompson couldn’t imagine in his worst ether-fueled nightmare. Kudos to Chris Hayes and his bookers for wandering into the King of Prussia mall and tracking the loudest voice there to the food court, where they found this toxic sack of wind that they then plied with Cinnabons and dragged off to a studio somewhere to scream incoherent lies about Obamacare and all its horrors for ten minutes. We tried to keep an accurate record of everything Stefano said so we could rebut at least some of it but gave up about the time the sound of this woman’s voice actually bored a hole into both our eardrums. We didn’t know sound could do that, and we listened to that Sarah Palin theme song yesterday through our headphones. So let’s just give you what we’re pretty sure is the official transcript of this interview. Read more on Crazy Homeless Lady Wanders Into Chris Hayes’s Studio, Claims To Be Koch Brothers Flunkie…
  She wants to not believe

Lady Who Will Die From Unaffordable Obamacare Actually Saving Money On Obamacare, Who Knew?

Obamacare, man. Isn’t it so the worst? Hardly a day goes by that Republicans, and their katrillionaire backers like the Koch brothers, aren’t telling us the American horror stories of people who had golden balls insurance until that sumbitch Obama did socialism to them with his government health care — just like Hitler! — and now they do not have insurance, and they cannot keep their doctors, and they do not have health care, and also sluts don’t have co-pays for birth control (which is basically like 9/11 and Pearl Harbor) and it’s all a distraction from Benghazi. IMPEACH! Funny thing, that. Seems like every time one of these victims comes forward with their tale of woe, some smartass journalist out there does some gay wizard math and proves that no, actually, said victim — or should we say “victim” — is actually benefitting from Obamacare. It’s socialist magic! Step right up, Ms. Julia Boonstra, and tell us your tale. A Dexter cancer patient featured in a conservative group’s TV ad campaign denouncing her new health care coverage as “unaffordable” will save more than $1,000 this year. Julie Boonstra, 49, starred last month in an emotional television ad sponsored by Americans for Prosperity that implied Democratic U.S. Rep. Gary Peters’ vote for the Affordable Care Act made her medication so “unaffordable” she could die. Gosh. That is terrible. Basically, she’s getting death paneled by Obama. Now we has a sad. Except that if we put her story through the reality-o-meter (caution: it has a liberal bias), we find a totally weird weirdness that is weird. Read more on Lady Who Will Die From Unaffordable Obamacare Actually Saving Money On Obamacare, Who Knew?…
  double downer

Obamacare Victim Standing By Her Astroturf Men In War Against Affordable Insurance, Facts

Remember that Michigan lady with leukemia, Julie Boonstra, who couldn’t afford her Obamacare insurance because it cost $500 less per month than her old plan that Obama personally death paneled? The one in the Americans for Plutocracy Prosperity ad? The one that Harry Reid spit on when she returned home from Vietnam? Well, you probably thought that after the Washington Post’s Glenn Kessler found her story to be somewhat reality-challenged, that she was licked. Well, she’s NOT licked, and she’s going to stay right here and fight for this lost cause, even if teh Internetz gets filled with lies like these here not-lies. Boonstra is continuing to dance on the Koch brothers’ strings stick it to The Man, with a NEW AFP video that Fights Back against the Chicago-style thug tactics of Rep. Gary Peters, who is running for Senate in Michigan in the little spare time he has left over from breaking the kneecaps of local TV station owners. This hard-hitting (Oscar bait?) film shows a lone, brave woman, attended only by an entourage of paid lobbyists with professional video equipment, marching right up to the door of Peters’ lair and leaving a letter shoved in the door handle. BOOM! Ya burnt, yo! Boonstra then vows not to be silenced, which we would be a little more worried about if “silenced” didn’t mean “discouraged from running provably false political ads on broadcast teevee.” Mainly, we had questions, like why didn’t she call ahead to see if Peters was home, or just e-mail him like a normal person? Or buy a stamp, for crissake; the Postal Service is BEGGING you. Read more on Obamacare Victim Standing By Her Astroturf Men In War Against Affordable Insurance, Facts…
  if you like lying about obamacare you can keep lying about obamacare

Terrible Lefties Attack Woman With Cancer In Dumb Lying Tea Party Ad

It’s ben a little while since we’ve looked at a dumb lie about Obamacare, so how about we look at Americans For The Koch Brothers Prosperity and the foofaraw over their dumb ad claiming that Obamacare is killing a nice Michigan lady named Julie Boonstra, who has leukemia. It’s a pretty sad story, in which Ms. Boonstra says Obamacare made her lose her insurance, and now she just can’t afford her new plan’s out-of-pocket costs. The ad ran in Michigan and urged viewers to call Rep. Gary Peters, who’s running for the Senate, to tell him to stop killing nice Julie Boonstra with Obamacare. As it turns out, the Washington Post determined the AFP ad to be Pinnochio-on-fire bullshit. Boonstra didn’t have to switch doctors, and despite claiming that her out-of-pocket costs are “unaffordable,” she actually now has a much lower monthly premium, a savings that equals her plan’s out-of-pocket $6,350 maximum. Even so, could she keep her old plan? She could not! INPEACH. To make matters worse, says AFP, mean old Rep. Peters is trying to “intimidate and silence Julie Boonstra”! What a monster he is, trying to silence Ms. Boonstra like that! What did he do, send a goon squad to tell her to shut up? Read more on Terrible Lefties Attack Woman With Cancer In Dumb Lying Tea Party Ad…
  all the derp that's fit to herp

A Children’s Treasury Of Derp: Your Labor Day Loonworld Roundup

Welcome to a special Labor Day edition of picked-up pieces, a baggy collection of stories that were too stoopid to ignore altogether, but that we couldn’t quite manage a full post on. Or just didn’t wanna. At the top of the list, Tucker Carlson snoozing on the set of Fox & Friends, because there’s really not much more to say about it, other than “Hey, look at this professional teevee idjit sleeping on a couch!” Carlson’s thoughts on the matter were limited to “Is this honestly live?” and “I was having these happy thoughts and I dozed off … Is this honestly on TV?” There’s probably a metaphor here, we think.  Stay in school, kids. Read more on A Children’s Treasury Of Derp: Your Labor Day Loonworld Roundup…
  burn dummy burn

GOP: Not Having Health Insurance Is The New Black

Bamz care is coming. Bamz care is coming! BAMZ CARE IS COMING! If you’re not an idiot or an incredibly rich person that just buys new body parts when the old ones wear out, you’ve probably been sorta kinda digging the fact that maybe you could buy insurance and not be cockblocked from coverage because once you had a pre-existing condition like a hangnail. You’ve probably been grooving on the fact that even if you freelance or are jobless, you don’t have to play the “doctor’s visit or food” game quite as often. But that is because you are not a terrible person and are not the modern-day GOP: With the Obama administration poised for a huge public education campaign on healthcare reform, Republicans and their allies are mobilizing a counter-offensive including town hall meetings, protests and media promotions to dissuade uninsured Americans from obtaining health coverage. Read more on GOP: Not Having Health Insurance Is The New Black…
  face: punched

Never Forget! Union Thugs Push Down Koch Brothers Tent, Punch Steven Crowder In Face

Like the mighty towers of the World Trade Center, a tent belonging to the Michigan chapter of Americans for Prosperity fell in Lansing today because it was attacked by terrorists who hate our freedom…to not pay union dues but still receive the protection organized labor provides workers. Labor protesters, angry about Michigan’s passage of a Right to Work law, destroyed AFP’s tent thing today. Or maybe that’s what THEY want you to think! Maybe AFP wrecked their own tent to make labor protesters look bad on Drudge Report. Was 12/11 an inside job? Read more on Never Forget! Union Thugs Push Down Koch Brothers Tent, Punch Steven Crowder In Face…
  let them eat stock

Union Thugs Terrorize Michigan Cops’ Pepper Spray Canisters, With Their Faces

“Protestors stormed the Michigan capital yesterday on Thursday, prompting the police to use pepper spray,” says the police stenographer reporter over a video of people walking around in a fairly orderly fashion as they chant hey HEY, ho HO, et cetera cetera, like common terrifying thugs. Sadly, Pepper Spray Cop did not see fit to give any “food product” to the fellows from the Koch Brothers’ “grassroots” Americans for Prosperity, who broadcast old Gipper speeches for the education and benefit of the union president’s brothers. Read more on Union Thugs Terrorize Michigan Cops’ Pepper Spray Canisters, With Their Faces…
  a purpose-driven life

Karl Rove’s Charity Has Very Charitable Purpose Of Buying Election For Mitt Romney

Hello, bleeding heart liberals, we know you are already very excited about hating SuperPACs but could you perhaps make room in your heart to hate some specific non-profits as well? Because — and we hate to be the ones to break it to you — non-profit organizations are just as capable of spending massive amounts of money on elections as are SuperPACs and Incorporated Americans, and they also can do it without disclosing donors, and without paying taxes. This, of course, begs several important questions! Such as: non-profits are tax exempt, so does this automatically mean they are the engines of economic growth and job creation, due to the fact that they pay no taxes? Also, given that these non-profits donate to (mostly conservative) political causes and (mostly Republican) candidates without reporting contributions, and are able to do so under the guise of engaging in “public welfare,” should we be concerned that Mitt Romney might accidentally become ensnared in a culture of dependency, which is what happens when you give people welfare? Read more on Karl Rove’s Charity Has Very Charitable Purpose Of Buying Election For Mitt Romney…
  kochsuckers

Americans For Prosperity’s Insane Ad Against Popular Housing Bill Is Insane

The New Jersey legislature is pushing a bill that “would establish a temporary agency, the New Jersey Foreclosure Relief Corp.,” which “would acquire houses in foreclosure and make them available to towns, non-profit groups, or private investors as low- and moderate-income housing.” The corporation would be similar to the RTC, which helped clean up the mess left behind by the savings and loans crisis; and this proposal has the backing of the “state League of Municipalities, the New Jersey Builders Association, the Housing and Community Development Network of New Jersey, the New Jersey Bankers Association, and other groups not often found lined up together.” Sounds good. What’s the problem? There isn’t one… but according to this lovely ad from Dave & Chuck Kochs’ Americans for Prosperity, this bill will FORCE DRUG ADDICTS, EX-CONS, SEX OFFENDERS AND HOMELESS MONSTERS INTO YOUR NEIGHBOR’S HOUSE, TO KILL YOU. Read more on Americans For Prosperity’s Insane Ad Against Popular Housing Bill Is Insane…