Regular readers may remember a golden period of mockery over the summer regarding the American Family Association’s “Boycott McDonald’s” initiative, in which a bunch of fat slobs ceased taking their 12 kids to McDonald’s 78 times a week because some vice president gave money to some San Francisco gay cause once. There were funny comments and we laughed, because who were these fucking people just cold validatin’ every stereotype about Bitters? And yet, McDonald’s has now caved in to their demands to remain “neutral” in the “culture wars,” which these fundie idiots think is an actual hot war between Orcs and Dwarves. MORE »

Tree-destroying imperial corporation Hallmark recently decided to start selling same-sex wedding cards, because that’s something you can do in all of two (2) states now. In other words, the Hallmark company has just literally taken a piss on Jesus Christ’s tomb thingy. And guess who’s upset, yes, that’s correct, the mouth-breathing Fundies at the American Family Association, whose recent “Boycott McDonald’s” initiative produced some of the finest comedy in the history of the Internet. They have a petition site up now directed at Hallmark. “BoycottHallmark.com” doesn’t currently exist, but the AFA has bought the domain name and when it launches, PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE GOD let there be a comments section. [AFA, Examiner, Think Progress]

You’ve been waiting for it all day, and here it is: your “Tuesday Fun Link.” Today’s link directs you to “Boycott McDonald’s,” an effort from some terrible thing called the American Family Association. Naturally, these people are not boycotting McDonald’s because they are starting diets — on the contrary, we assume they are all fat fucks who continue to patronize the likes of Wendy’s, Burger King, and “Sonic” on a daily basis. They are boycotting McDonald’s because of this: “It is about McDonald’s, as a corporation, refusing to remain neutral in the culture wars. McDonald’s has chosen not to remain neutral but to give the full weight of their corporation to promoting the homosexual agenda, including homosexual marriage.” And GUESS WHAT? This website has a comments section!! MORE »

Agape Press got us all flustered a few days ago when they alerted us to the existence of the Sodomy Squadron, a previously unreported branch of the miliary that sent many Wonkette readers into whistful, day-long reveries. Now they’re upping the ante with a revelation about what happens when good Christian schools want to eject suspected lesbos: they get a litle visit from the sassy squadron’s muscular, fabulously-toned enforcement arm. The American Family Association’s Steve Crampton explains:

“I think this is a case in point,” he asserts, “where you have private schools, Christian businesses — and really employers of all types, whether specifically and overtly Christian or not — being given what amount to totalitarian edicts by the ‘tolerance police.’ This is not freedom — this is totalitarianism.”

Totalitarianism indeed! My advice to all you good Christians out there: stay in your shelters, practice your obscure, beleaguered faith in safety where “they” can’t find you, and I’m sure this will all blow over in a couple of years. We’ll let you know when it’s safe to come out… er, sorry, poor word choice. MORE »