American Family Association
Super-Christian Radio Guy Generously Remains ‘Neutral’ On Whether Shooting Federal Agents Is A Good Thing
We all know that Bryan Fischer is El Douche Grande at the American Patriarchy Association, but let us not forget that they have a whole second string of less-famous douchitos as well! Consider for instance radio-show guy Buster Wilson, who last graced Yr Wonkette when he espoused the entirely sane opinion that Barack Obama is [...]
Female SCOTUS Justices Gettin’ Mighty Uppity With Their ‘Questions’ And Such
In 1978, future Associate Justice of the Supreme Court and most awesome woman in the entire galaxy Ruth Bader Ginsburg was giving a presentation to that same esteemed body for a case dealing with how gender should be treated by the equal protection clause (an issue which has always been kind of been a bugaboo [...]
American Family Association Puts End To Travesty Of Children Being Nice To Each Other
What marvelous thing has the American Family Association done for Western civilization now? Oh, just succeeded in getting upwards of 20 elementary schools to drop out of “Mix It Up At Lunch Day,” an annual program that teams up kids who normally wouldn’t sit together at lunch, and makes them sit together at lunch. Does [...]
Bryan Fischer: Sikh-Temple Shooter Hated Herman Cain, Was A Liberal, Q.E.D.
Doodly doodly doo, twitter twitter twitter. Oh, what’s this? Bryan Fischer, of the wonderful and loving and Christian in totally the best sense of the religion American Family Association, do you have some Thoughts on the Sikh temple massacre, which you think would be important to share with the world? FANTASTIC. But hmmm, we are [...]
Idiots On Aurora, Part Douche: God Was The Second Gunman And Many Victims Went to Hell
A time of national tragedy is a time to come together as Americans, a time to heal, a time to put aside partisan differences and seek common ground. For instance, it is a time to remember that no man is an island, that we are all connected by bonds of community and love, and that [...]
Bryan Fischer Shares Jesus’s Plan For The Poor: Hospitals, Turn Them Away
In a plain case of “Blessed are the poor for Bryan Fischer wants them dead,” the radio host and director of issues analysis at the American Family Association recently overshared some characteristically Deep Thoughts on fixing godless heathen Obamacare. The following Guide to A Good Christian’s Healthcare may prove helpful. Hospitals should send the poor [...]
Bloodthirsty Lesbian Spokesmodel Ellen Degeneres Murders Nice Christian Ladies ‘One Million Moms’
Having already been totally slaughtered, the Warriors for Tolerance, Empathy and Good Taste known as “One Million Moms” (seven moms) have declared victory against Ellen Degeneres (Saddam Hussein) in their fight against her Manchurian Candidate stealth mission to educate Americans to the benefits of the Jaclyn Smith Kardashian Kollection Olsen Twins fashion line. And that’s [...]
Bill O’Reilly Compares Ellen Boycott to McCarthyism, Universe Explodes
Poisonous creature of the deep Bill O’Reilly did a segment on his show Tuesday about One Million Moms’ boycott of Ellen DeGeneres’ spokesperson deal with JC Penney. Strangely, the segment was, for the most optimistic among us, some evidence that world peace will happen before the world ends (which is this year). Ellen recently signed [...]
American Family Association Freaks Out Over Ice Cream Named After Testicles
The humorless testicle-phobes at the American Family Association have gotten wind of this new flavor of Ben and Jerry’s ice cream named “Schweddy Balls.” Here is their press release via Right Wing Watch, which quotes the word “balls” no fewer than 10 times, for mysterious reasons: Ben & Jerry’s announced their newest ice cream flavor [...]
Rick Perry’s Weepy Sing-Along Hate Party Didn’t Save America
Rick Perry and his gang of 30,000 sweaty, tearful homophobes spent Saturday singing and rolling around on the floor and eating pig anus sausages and nachos in a football stadium, so America is now “cleansed” according to its usual ritual standards. Was there *enough* hating of the gays and abortion doctors for God to finally [...]
AFA: Christian Women Are Heathen Witches For Doing Yoga
Sure, yoga may seem like a calming form of exercise to you, but you must have forgotten that everything in the world that was not created by Christians is inherently evil. According to American Family Association writer Marsha West, many American Christian women see nothing wrong with going to a yoga studio instead of laying [...]
Bryan Fischer Opines On Lady Gaga, Admits He May Be Turning Into a Gay
The 2012 Republican presidential field’s favorite Jesus-band radio host, the American Family Association’s Bryan Fischer, routinely professes to the world how disgusting gay people are, just in case people forgot and briefly thought he may enjoy penises being inserted into his rectum. But this latest column is a bit of a departure. He leads off [...]
Bryan Fischer: Jesus Had Disciples So They Would Become GOP Politicians
“Jesus’ entire discipleship program with his apostles was an academy designed to prepare them for service in the political arena.” Oh, right, of course, Bryan Fischer. Christianity is really nothing more than one bearded guy’s boutique political consulting/candidate training shop. “I will wash your feet, then you go forth and wash the feet of wealthy [...]
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Rick Perry’s Porno Stocks Don’t Count Since He Sold Them Before AFA Noticed
by Kirsten Boyd Johnson
FROM: American Family Association TO: tips@wonkette.com DATE: Tue, Aug 23, 2011 at 10:02 AM PRESS RELEASE FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE Contact: Cindy Roberts 662-844-5036 x227 August 23, 2011 AFA boycott of Movie Gallery began five years after Rick Perry sold his stock The media, including even the international press, has accused Texas Gov. Rick Perry of [...]