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We don’t really have any comment on the Federal Prosecutor guy charged with actually trying to fuck a five-year-old girl. Said the assistant U.S. attorney from Florida: “I’ve done it plenty.” [Above The Law]
A stunning new poll finds that everybody’s a terrible racist except for you. The Zogby survey found that while no single individual will admit to, say, hating all the Moslems, most Americans hate all the Moslems. Also, while you would never avoid a black clerk at the store, 99% of everybody else would definitely prefer a white clerk — including, we guess, black people. That’s racist! MORE »
The Queen of England is still here, trying to surreptitiously take back the US for the British Empire under cover of darkness in a backroom deal with Dick Cheney, the Church of Scientology, a number of Freemasons, and Hitler’s brain. MORE »
By Alex Pareene
Wonkette Foreign Service
Friday, April 20, 2007; Page A01
WASHINGTON, April 19 — This was Tanko Bala’s life before the arrival of democracy: He had a steady job at a factory, a predictable supply of electricity in his home and a few of life’s indulgences. Milk with his morning tea. Movies in the evenings.
TIME magazine is cherished by seniors who can’t turn on the computer because they got a virus from the Earthlink modem in 1998 — in other words, “American voters.” But what if TIME was consciously trying to keep the elderly misinformed?
Read the rest of this post, after the jump.
Here’s some fun news from our neighbors in Virginia: A brand-new firefighting boat sank last night for no reason at all, tied up at the dock and never used once. We are pretty sure there is a bigger symbolic meaning to this stupid story. MORE »
A shocking new book proves Americans are simultaneously the most “religious” and the most religiously ignorant people in the developed world. Overwhelming majorities of Our Fellow Citizens don’t know anything about the Bible, the teachings of Jesus or even the 10 Commandments they want posted everywhere. (Could Christians want those ancient laws displayed at every government building so they can learn one or two?)
We’ve got a shameful list of things Americans don’t know about their beloved religion, after the jump.
Having decided that’s it’s just not funny anymore to have a heroic character called “Captain America,” Marvel Comics has killed off the famed comic-book “super soldier.” Created in the 1940s as a cartoon foe of Nazi Germany and Imperial Japan, the Captain has had some hard times. Nobody loves America and we aren’t exactly winning wars these days. Read the whole sad story, after the jump.
Michael Gromek, 19, is from Poland, a nation known world over for its godless hedonism and atheistic college students. So when Michael came to visit the US, the Good Lord placed him in the noble hands of a God-fearing Evangelical Christian couple in North Carolina, our second-holiest state.
Gromek, though, was not particularly grateful. So he bitched to Der Spiegel, favorite newspaper of German Marxists.
Things began to go wrong as soon as I arrived in my new home in Winston-Salem, where I was to spend my year abroad. For example, every Monday my host family would gather around the kitchen table to talk about sex. My host parents hadn’t had sex for the last 17 years because — so they told me — they were devoting their lives to God. They also wanted to know whether I drank alcohol. I admitted that I liked beer and wine. They told me I had the devil in my heart.
More of Michael’s harrowing tale, after the jump.
