Tag Archives: amercia

  kochsuckers in the news

Koch Brothers Buying the Liberal Media Now

Hey, who’s tired of reading actual “information” in the handful of remaining legitimate news outlets quietly dying out in America? Persecuted swamp monsters Charles and David Koch are growing tired of watching their feudalist political philosophies maligned in the media, so they have looked around and said to themselves, “oh shit, let’s just buy the media.” Koch Industries is in talks to buy the Tribune Company’s eight newspapers. We, for one, are excited to see Chuck Norris’s work in the opinion pages of the Los Angeles Times. For information, however, we are pretty much going to rely on official press releases,  Reddit crowdsourcing, and blogs from here on out. USA! USA! USA! Read more on Koch Brothers Buying the Liberal Media Now…
  keeping us safe

Michele Bachmann Still On House Intelligence Committee

Did you feel safer sometime around 11 a.m. Eastern on Friday? Almost as though someone (or someones!) very capable was keeping an eye on our enemies, both foreign and domestic? Of course you did, this is because John Boehner has put Michele Bachmann on the House Intelligence Committee again. Aren’t we lucky, Amercia? USA! USA! No, the demands to have her removed aren’t because she is stupid, because there are plenty of other stupid people doing incredibly important things these days, (see, for example, most of the people on the Committee on Science, Space, and Technology), and this is the new normal. Stupid people doing important things are all the rage these days, no one can be bothered about it. No, that’s not it, people are upset about this particular stupid person because she has made “controversial” statements, which has made “some people” have some “concerns:” Minnesota Republican Rep. Michele Bachmann has been reappointed to the House intelligence committee despite concerns about some of the controversial statements she has made. Read more on Michele Bachmann Still On House Intelligence Committee…
  regulate women not markets

Paul Ryan Focusing On Jobs With New Bill About One-Celled Embryos

Lucky you, Amercia, Paul Ryan (R-Complete Tool) is back at work and ready to focus on the issues. After all, Paul Ryan is a Very Serious Person who is Very Concerned about Jobs and The Economy! So when he was campaigning we were all bereft of his leadership on these and other pressing issues, and it was sad, and surely we suffered mightily for it. But today we bring you good news, for he is BACK, you guys, and now that he is back, he is dedicated to his number one legislative priority: cosponsoring legislation that promotes job growth  protects one-celled embryos. Read more on Paul Ryan Focusing On Jobs With New Bill About One-Celled Embryos…
  mitt's time

Mitt Romney: Why Can’t Amercia Be More Like China?

Oh goody, more incriminating audio from a Mitt Romney fundraiser. This one is  from a fundraiser he and his wife attended at the Irvine, California, home of David Horowitz (a different David Horowitz) back in March, and although Mittens didn’t insult half of the nation, he DID say that Obama considers businesspeople “a necessary evil” and his wife said that the president is not a “grown-up.” Also, did you know that China is a better place to do business than the U.S. (which surely has nothing to do with all those young women who are locked into Romney factories at night)? And that Obama wants half of the economy to be “controlled by government”? Well, now you do. Read more on Mitt Romney: Why Can’t Amercia Be More Like China?…
  trickling down

Ryan Plan: Mitt Romney Would Create All The Jobs If We Taxed Him Only .82 Percent

Hello, have you all spent this weekend getting used to a world in which a Romney/Ryan presidency is an actual possibility? Well, given that you’ve probably gotten used to a world in which Romney not paying taxes is an actual possibility, we’d say you’ve made some serious progress! See, under the Paul Ryan plan, Mitt Romney’s tax rate would IN THEORY be 10%, but in PRACTICE it would be somewhere between 0 and 1%. Now before you get pissy about that, just stop and think of all the jobs Romney would be able to create if he paid a .82% tax rate instead of 13.9%! Oh, how the wealth would trickle down! Car elevators and dancing horses for everyone! Read more on Ryan Plan: Mitt Romney Would Create All The Jobs If We Taxed Him Only .82 Percent…