Recall the famed Halloween Book Burning Plot of the Amazing Grace Baptist Church, at which a piece of music’s or book’s very existence alone was enough to place it squarely on the side of the Devil, Satan. Satan was most displeased, for how would he convince people to come be homosexuals with him in hell without… contemporary Christian music! This is why the book burning was held indoors, in a single garbage can, where Satan has no jurisdiction. MORE »

• LIKE THE FARMER’S ALMANAC, BUT GOOD: Holy moly! We didn’t even bother to explore the rest of that burny church’s website at first, but it is nuts, man, it is a stone cold treasure, and we just hope someone in that asylum remembers to pay the Internets bill each month. [Amazing Grace Baptist Church: Sports News]