And now, dear Wonketteers, a headline that is quite simply tailor-made for Your Wonkette: TWO ALLIGATORS, A POLE DANCER AND POT AT OLYMPIA AREA SHOOTING SCENE Jesus Christ, this is what the internet was made for. Do we even have to write a story to go along with that? Actually, we do!

Our Michelle Obama just likes to surprise us every day, mostly with bad news about how we’re all killing ourselves, eating things that are probably not classified as “food” by any branch of science. But she also likes to surprise us by showing up places where a FLOTUS would not be expected to appear, like […]