Tag Archives: alliance defending freedom

  Reverend Receptionist

Baptists Find Neat Loophole To Fire Janitors Who Do Gay Stuff In The Butt

I thought Jesus saves
There’s a certain kind of rightwing creativity that comes into play when government tries to make bigots not behave like complete bigots to everyone, like when cities all over Virginia just shut down their school systems rather than integrate, or more recently, when several counties in Florida announced that they just won’t marry anyone at their courthouses, straight or gay, so it’s equal, all right? Well, they’re at it again. The Southern Baptists have written a manual explaining to churches how they can get away with all the discriminating they want: just make everyone who works for you a minister, and then you can fire them without worrying about troublesome lawsuits! Read more on Baptists Find Neat Loophole To Fire Janitors Who Do Gay Stuff In The Butt…
  Breakin' the law

Law-Breaking DC ‘Pro-Lifers’ Will Keep Firing Whores, For Jesus

You're fired!
Here is a fun fact for you: “pro-lifers”? They are mostly assholes. Even the ones who don’t try to murder doctors and bomb health clinics. In Washington DC, they’re taking a brief intermission from crawling up your vagina with a Bible and a stern look to announce to the world that they do not give a good goddamn about the district’s new dumb “law” that says employers cannot discriminate against lady workers or their families just for swinging by Planned Parenthood before yoga class: Read more on Law-Breaking DC ‘Pro-Lifers’ Will Keep Firing Whores, For Jesus…
  Know what else costs 30 pieces of silver? MY JESUS CAKES.

Washington Bigot Florist Will Frost Jesus’s Cakes In Heaven, No Gays Allowed

Just last week, Good Christian Bigot Barronelle Stutzman, the owner of Arlene’s Flowers, Inc., received some bad news when a Washington Superior Court judge told her that no, her “relationship with Jesus” was not a good excuse for discriminating against The Gay, in violation of the state’s Consumer Protection Act. Stutzman had begged the judge to pretty please make all the lawsuits against her go away because her refusal to provide flowers for a gay customer’s gay wedding whose gay money she’d happily been taking for nearly a decade was all just a “misunderstanding.” The judge agreed that yes, there was indeed a misunderstanding, by Stutzman, of how the law works. Read more on Washington Bigot Florist Will Frost Jesus’s Cakes In Heaven, No Gays Allowed…
  Dear Tucker: This One Time At FEMA Camp...

Idaho Christians Going To Jail For Standing Up To Homosexuals, Just Like Martin Luther King

Looks like the pogayto will be getting a lot of work now
Nobody could have seen this coming.┬áThe second Idaho got marriage equality, the crazed liberals who rule that state started oppressing supporters of traditional marriage right and left. Just look at this screaming headline from Tucker Carlson’s Internet Rage-a-torium: “Idaho City To Christian Pastors: Perform Same-Sex Weddings Or Face Jail.” It’s just like the Culture Warriors predicted! Merely standing up for the Bible is now a criminal offense! Let’s see exactly how terrible the oppressin’ is! Read more on Idaho Christians Going To Jail For Standing Up To Homosexuals, Just Like Martin Luther King…
  I Am Mad About A Thing

Wingnut Nurse Sues Family Planning Center For Not Giving Her Job Just Because She Says She Won’t Do Job

Let’s play a game. It is sort of a choose-your-own-adventure make-believe game. Costumes optional. You are about to graduate from Thing-Doing School and apply for a job as a professional Thing-Doer, as one does after attending Thing-Doing School. You inform your potential employer that you are interested in the Thing-Doing job but will be unable to perform Thing-Doing duties because of your religious beliefs. Your potential employer tells you, “LOL, that’s hilarious, but we are actually looking for a real Thing-Doer who is willing to perform Thing-Doing duties, because that is the job. Thanks but no thanks.” Do you: A) Say, “Well, that is a very good point, I understand why you would want to hire a Thing-Doer who is capable and willing to Thing-Do, I shall now re-examine my goal of being a Thing-Doer but not actually Thing-Doing”? (Turn to page 132 and pat yourself on the back because that is a very smart answer.) B) Get yourself some fancy lawyers and sue the unholy bejesus out of the no-longer potential employer because your unwillingness to perform Thing-Doing duties should not disqualify you from being hired as a Thing-Doer? (Turn to page 666 and die in a fire.) C) Laugh and roll your eyes because that is SO RIDICULOUS it cannot even be real, what kind of moron would apply for a job that requires doing things to which said moron objects because JESUS? (Throw the book away and write a bad review on Amazon because this book sucks.) If you chose “C,” I don’t blame you because in a just world, that would be the correct and only option, but sorry, you lose because this IS real, and there IS such a moron who would do such a thing, and her name is Sara Hellwege and yes, she is suing SO hard. If you haven’t already choked on your own vomit by now, keep reading. Read more on Wingnut Nurse Sues Family Planning Center For Not Giving Her Job Just Because She Says She Won’t Do Job…
  blowvember

Anti-Gay Christian Lawyer Lady Spread Gospel, Teen Girl’s Legs With (Alleged) Cross-Border Child Porn

It has been at least a week since someone involved in an anti-gay Christian group was found with a hooker’s penis in his bottom or (allegedly) diddling a child, and a week is five years in Blowvember-time. Luckily, Lisa Biron, a New Hampshire lawyer associated with the “Alliance Defending Freedom,” has gotten herself into a doozy of drugs and weapons and taking teenage girls across international borders, the better to star them in child pron! But wait! Is that even illegal? Read more on Anti-Gay Christian Lawyer Lady Spread Gospel, Teen Girl’s Legs With (Alleged) Cross-Border Child Porn…