Allen West

Serious question, Wonkvilleins, because the conservative ladeez of “Politichicks” have put together a Conservative Men Swinging Dicks contest that for real includes Rush Limbaugh, Jonah Goldberg, Joseph Farah and Neil Cavuto, COME ON. (To be fair, those bloated piles of pig anus feature in subcategories like “New Media” and “Rush Limbaugh” and did not final.) […]

Hey, here’s somebody we haven’t heard from in a while! Must be Bid For Relevance Week for losing GOP candidates! Retired Army colonel and failed Florida Rep. Allen West, whom you may remember from his unabashedly patriotic efforts to protect America from communist tyranny by pushing for the installation of a military junta. He’s back though, sputtering nonsense […]

Hey, lissen up, guys, Michele Bachmann is being THREATENED and we need to PROTECT her! Darn it, no matter how much we disagree with someone, we certainly don’t want them to be threatened… So tell us more about these threats, former weakest member of the 1986-1992 SNL cast Victoria Jackson, on your sloppily formatted webpage: […]

Last summer, then-as-yet-undefeated-congressman Allen West took his whirlwind American diplomacy tour to the Council on American Islamic Relations, which sent him a letter asking him to distance himself from the prominent Islamophobes he’d been palling around with. West, seeing an opportunity for prejudice-fueled grandstanding, sent a response to CAIR: It said, simply, “NUTS.” You may […]

Let’s “open the kimono” here for a minute: Your Wonkette does not want this great nation of ours to be run by perverts and crazies; but, in another sense, your Wonkette needs this to be the case, because pervert/crazy politicians bring in the pageviews and associated ad moneys. That’s why the endless vote-recounting wackiness in […]

At long last, we just might maybe have a possibly-final result for the race for Florida’s 18th U.S. Congressional District. We think. As you may be aware, Florida does not have the most competent election system in the Union, which has led to a wee bit of uncertainty about whether wingnut torture-lover and Muslin-disliker Allen […]

We almost went a day without a “stupid Florida” story. Almost. In case you have already forgotten and moved on, there was an election eight days ago, and going into it everybody was quite fixated on a small number of states, Florida being one of them. As it turned out, Florida didn’t matter because Obama […]

Here is an incredibly stupid story for you! A teacher named Juliet Hibbs at Deerfield Beach High School in Broward County, Florida, was standing in her classroom one day, teaching some nonsense or other, who knows. (Because “Florida.”) As she stood there, she saw one of her students, an 18-year-old woman, slinking lower and lower […]

Today’s lesson in religious tolerance comes to us from Florida, where we are talking about Islam, so, just a heads up, today’s lesson is going to be awful. The request was to close Broward County schools for two Muslim holidays, the end of Ramadan and the end of Hajj, for the same reason that the […]

Oh, yeah, sure, say Obama “saved the economy” or whatever, and maybe unemployment is “on the way down,” by and large, if you’re into numbers or blah blah blah, but listen up, little Cleverpants you, because there are people who lost their jobs not two days ago. They are Republicans, booted out the door by […]

Never let it be said that Your Wonkette is anything but sex-positive and pro-freaky-deakiness. But when it’s Allen West and he’s writing to his wife from Iraq right around the time he is having people beaten and then shooting guns next to their heads, and he is so weird and Allen West-like, well … here, […]

Oh, man, Allen West gave us one helluva knee-slapper yesterday. The president addressed the United Nations, so logically West had to address Facebook. And he decided to give us a treat! Not only did he offer some commentary on the speech, but he also did a rip-roaring impression of himself that is such a good […]

Remember when we told you about how the DNC delegates did that voice vote about putting God and Jerusalem in the platform, and the mayor of Los Angeles just made up the results, and then it kind of looked like the Democrats were booing God? Don’t worry, somebody noticed. Though the stupid fake voice vote […]

Are you black, and a Republican? Congratulations! Oh, you didn’t hear? You’ve just been named to the Romney campaign’s Black Leadership Council. Your duty: to say the exact same Republican talking points as everyone else, while being black. Now since the polls show Romney earning the support of a whole 0% of the African American […]

But which jerkwad thing did Allen West do to black people, you might ask? He delivered Chick-fil-A to a Congressional Black Caucus meeting. They were not appreciative. A Democratic lawmaker says Rep. Allen West (R-Fla.) offended the entire Congressional Black Caucus by delivering Chick-fil-A chicken and biscuits to their weekly meeting — and then walking […]