Allen West

Wow, how could this cover of Allen West’s probably terrible new book be any better? More eagles, maybe, like a live one excreting digested fish sludge on Allen West’s head. That’s good luck, we hear! Oh, it could be a Blingee! With pictures of guns and dancing aliens smoking marijuana, yes!

Professional conservative victim Allen West took to Fox News yesterday to condemn the incredible insensitivity and unspeakable atrocity of a “despicable, demeaning, and disgusting” email by Florida congressman Alan Grayson that compared the Tea Party to the KKK. West, whose job is to condemn all liberals for mentioning racism until it’s time for him to […]

Walking bucket of resentments Allen West is “leaving his job” at wingnut media concern PJ Media after getting shouty at a female staff member and calling her a “Jewish American Princess,” according to BuzzFeed. The internal PJ Media email that BuzzFeed got ahold of pretty much has “Comforting euphemism memo” written all over it: “In […]

Welcome to another edition of our Derp Roundup, that collection of virtual floor sweepings that are too stoopid to completely ignore but not worth a full-length post. To start with, let’s give an Excellence In Trolling medal to the sometimes-funny Andy Borowitz, whose New Yorker piece this week was characteristically meh, but managed to fool […]

So, you may have heard about the awful murder of an Australian baseball player by three teens in Duncan, Oklahoma. The killers more or less admitted to killing Chris Lane for the fun of it as he was out for a jog. It’s sick and disgusting. But what’s really outrageous, according to Fox & Friends, […]

Following Barack Obama’s speech Friday on the Trayvon Martin killing, former Florida Rep. Allen West just wanted to clarify that America doesn’t have a racism problem, it has a scary black president problem: “I am a black male who grew up in the inner city of Atlanta and no one ever followed me in a […]

Serious question, Wonkvilleins, because the conservative ladeez of “Politichicks” have put together a Conservative Men Swinging Dicks contest that for real includes Rush Limbaugh, Jonah Goldberg, Joseph Farah and Neil Cavuto, COME ON. (To be fair, those bloated piles of pig anus feature in subcategories like “New Media” and “Rush Limbaugh” and did not final.) […]

Hey, here’s somebody we haven’t heard from in a while! Must be Bid For Relevance Week for losing GOP candidates! Retired Army colonel and failed Florida Rep. Allen West, whom you may remember from his unabashedly patriotic efforts to protect America from communist tyranny by pushing for the installation of a military junta. He’s back though, sputtering nonsense […]

Hey, lissen up, guys, Michele Bachmann is being THREATENED and we need to PROTECT her! Darn it, no matter how much we disagree with someone, we certainly don’t want them to be threatened… So tell us more about these threats, former weakest member of the 1986-1992 SNL cast Victoria Jackson, on your sloppily formatted webpage: […]

Last summer, then-as-yet-undefeated-congressman Allen West took his whirlwind American diplomacy tour to the Council on American Islamic Relations, which sent him a letter asking him to distance himself from the prominent Islamophobes he’d been palling around with. West, seeing an opportunity for prejudice-fueled grandstanding, sent a response to CAIR: It said, simply, “NUTS.” You may […]

Let’s “open the kimono” here for a minute: Your Wonkette does not want this great nation of ours to be run by perverts and crazies; but, in another sense, your Wonkette needs this to be the case, because pervert/crazy politicians bring in the pageviews and associated ad moneys. That’s why the endless vote-recounting wackiness in […]

At long last, we just might maybe have a possibly-final result for the race for Florida’s 18th U.S. Congressional District. We think. As you may be aware, Florida does not have the most competent election system in the Union, which has led to a wee bit of uncertainty about whether wingnut torture-lover and Muslin-disliker Allen […]

We almost went a day without a “stupid Florida” story. Almost. In case you have already forgotten and moved on, there was an election eight days ago, and going into it everybody was quite fixated on a small number of states, Florida being one of them. As it turned out, Florida didn’t matter because Obama […]

Here is an incredibly stupid story for you! A teacher named Juliet Hibbs at Deerfield Beach High School in Broward County, Florida, was standing in her classroom one day, teaching some nonsense or other, who knows. (Because “Florida.”) As she stood there, she saw one of her students, an 18-year-old woman, slinking lower and lower […]

Today’s lesson in religious tolerance comes to us from Florida, where we are talking about Islam, so, just a heads up, today’s lesson is going to be awful. The request was to close Broward County schools for two Muslim holidays, the end of Ramadan and the end of Hajj, for the same reason that the […]