Tag: Allen West

The Ludlow Massacre -- now THAT's worth a holiday

Allen West Would Like Labor Day Honoring Robber Barons And Scabs, Please

Great American Allen West has just about HAD IT with the shallowness of American three-day-weekend holidays, especially Labor Day, which he pretends to give a good goddamn about in a column published Monday. You see, Mr. West, who used...
Why can't more operas be about American Exceptionalism?

Wingnuts Will Save You Poor Jews From Getting Pogromed By Metropolitan Opera

Time for an Arts Update! The editor of Superpatriot and disgraced torture aficionado Allen West's blog is so mad at the Metropolitan Opera that she's just about ready to go to New York's Lincoln Center and stage a mock...

Allen West All Het Up About The Preverts

Listen: Allen West is worried about perverts. It's right there in the headline of his latest blog post: "Our government is populated by perverts." And yet, for a change, he's not freaked out about teh gheys -- it turns...

Why Wait For The Primaries? GOP 2016 Poll Lets You Pick Terrible Candidates Now

Reince Priebus tweeted out an invitation today to go "Pick who you want to be the next president," via the RNC's excellent new survey toy. And what a broad selection of fine candidates there is, even though no one's...

Allen West Tortured Iraqi Cop, Avoided Court-Martial, Kept Pension. Hey, It’s Not Like He Was Gay

Hey, remember Allen West? He's this guy who negotiated "retiring" from the Army instead of getting court-martialed for torturing an Iraqi cop, and then ran on an "Iraqi cop-torturing" platform all the way to the US House of Representatives....

Allen West Pretty Sure Bowe Bergdahl’s Dad Made The White House A Mosque

OMG you guys! Disgraced former torturer Allen West, super-patriot and Muslim-Hunter extraordinaire, has been tipped off to some earth-shattering proof of Muslim perfidy and scary creeping -- or galloping! -- sharia law! After spending the weekend calling Sgt. Bowe...

Allen West Heard About Benghazi From A Guy On A Plane Who Knew A Guy, And That’s What I Call ‘Q.E.D.’

Allen West knows the truth about Benghazi, because he was on an airplane and a guy told him he knew a guy who was there, and that the CIA had been told to stand down, and also people are...

Torture Hero Allen West Just Asking If Legless Vet Congresswoman Tammy Duckworth Is ‘Loyal’ Is All

American torture hero and semiemployed former congressjerk Allen West is very, very concerned about this "Tammy Duckworth" person having agreed to be on the Big BenghaziPalooza Special Committee, because how can Americans be sure she actually loves America, and...

Phoenix V.A. Hospital Mess May Prove Actual Distraction From Benghazi

There's just nothing funny about the incredible clusterfuck unfolding at the Phoenix Veterans Administration Hospital (autoplay video at link), where as many as 40 vets may have died while waiting to get care, and it also appears that administrators...

Allen West, Fox & Friends Expose Muslim Plot To Jihad America With Votes

You guys, there is some serious UN-AMERICAN activity happening, and we bet you don’t know about it! According to Allen West on Fox & Friends, there is a secret Muslim plot in America to… wait for it… become politically...

Allen West’s New Book-Shaped Object Full Of Slavery And Fake Founding Fathers Quotes

Allen West's terrible new book is finally out, although the cover photo has been kicking around since November. Frankly, when we saw articles about West's "new book" we thought maybe this was a rushed sequel. But no, it just...

Allen West Explains How Crimea Made Obama Do The Fort Hood Shootings

See if you can follow the logic on this one, kids: On Fox's Hannity Wednesday night, automated mobile grievance unit Allen West suggested that the Fort Hood shootings were the inevitable result of Barack Obama's failure to recognize that...

Allen West Will Be Haunted By The Horror Of The Coca-Cola Superbowl Ad For The Rest Of His Life

Did you watch Super Sportsball Spectacular yesterday? Were you rooting for the Broncos? If so, you are probably not reading this because you committed ritual suicide after that game. Those of you who remain are still watching wingnut heads...

Watch Out, Florida: ‘Satirist’ Hopes To Win Allen West’s Former District

Voters in Florida's 18th Congressional District face a difficult decision in August -- should they try to find a viable Republican candidate to face Patrick Murphy, who defeated Allen West in 2012, or should they try this guy: Ilya...

Disgraced Torturer Allen West Can No Longer Heart Disgraced Colin Powell Now That’s He’s A Total Commie

Remember when General Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff Secretary of State Colin Powell was awesome (Powell Doctrine) and then he wasn't awesome (bullshit "testimony" at the United Nations about "WMD") and then he was sort of awesome...

Allen West’s ‘EPA Is Doing Gun Control’ Column Isn’t Just Loony, Tin-Foil-Hatty, It’s Also Very Plagiarized

There's just no end of wingnutty goodness in Allen West's weekend column claiming that the Obama administration is out to Kill Freedom (again) by "forcing" the closure of the only lead smelting plant in the U.S. in 2010. There's...