Allen West

Reince Priebus tweeted out an invitation today to go “Pick who you want to be the next president,” via the RNC’s excellent new survey toy. And what a broad selection of fine candidates there is, even though no one’s announced yet, even at this late date. The choices include people who will almost definitely run […]

Hey, remember Allen West? He’s this guy who negotiated “retiring” from the Army instead of getting court-martialed for torturing an Iraqi cop, and then ran on an “Iraqi cop-torturing” platform all the way to the US House of Representatives. Well, he not only got to avoid up to 11 years in the pokey, while serving […]

OMG you guys! Disgraced former torturer Allen West, super-patriot and Muslim-Hunter extraordinaire, has been tipped off to some earth-shattering proof of Muslim perfidy and scary creeping — or galloping! — sharia law! After spending the weekend calling Sgt. Bowe Bergdahl a “deserter” and hinting that there’s something “nefarious” about his release from the Taliban, and […]

Allen West knows the truth about Benghazi, because he was on an airplane and a guy told him he knew a guy who was there, and that the CIA had been told to stand down, and also people are being threatened, and there was a drawing of schematics, impeach Obama QED. Today as I returned […]

American torture hero and semiemployed former congressjerk Allen West is very, very concerned about this “Tammy Duckworth” person having agreed to be on the Big BenghaziPalooza Special Committee, because how can Americans be sure she actually loves America, and is not some kind of legless traitor like Max Cleland?

There’s just nothing funny about the incredible clusterfuck unfolding at the Phoenix Veterans Administration Hospital (autoplay video at link), where as many as 40 vets may have died while waiting to get care, and it also appears that administrators tried to cover up the mess by shredding files and faking records to hide the delays […]

You guys, there is some serious UN-AMERICAN activity happening, and we bet you don’t know about it! According to Allen West on Fox & Friends, there is a secret Muslim plot in America to… wait for it… become politically organized in order to push for policies that are more friendly towards Muslims. Now is the […]

Allen West’s terrible new book is finally out, although the cover photo has been kicking around since November. Frankly, when we saw articles about West’s “new book” we thought maybe this was a rushed sequel. But no, it just turns out that West’s exciting memoirfesto, Guardian of the Republic: An American Ronin’s Journey to Faith, […]

See if you can follow the logic on this one, kids: On Fox’s Hannity Wednesday night, automated mobile grievance unit Allen West suggested that the Fort Hood shootings were the inevitable result of Barack Obama’s failure to recognize that America has international enemies. Now, by the time the program aired, it was pretty clear that […]

Did you watch Super Sportsball Spectacular yesterday? Were you rooting for the Broncos? If so, you are probably not reading this because you committed ritual suicide after that game. Those of you who remain are still watching wingnut heads explode over the goddamn gall of Coca-Cola to have a commercial that had many different languages. […]

Voters in Florida’s 18th Congressional District face a difficult decision in August — should they try to find a viable Republican candidate to face Patrick Murphy, who defeated Allen West in 2012, or should they try this guy: Ilya Katz, a self-described “political refugee of the Soviet Union” who claims to have spent “ten years […]

Remember when General Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff Secretary of State Colin Powell was awesome (Powell Doctrine) and then he wasn’t awesome (bullshit “testimony” at the United Nations about “WMD”) and then he was sort of awesome (endorsing Obama) and then he became a total dirty Nazi Marxist hippie commie from Commiestan because […]

There’s just no end of wingnutty goodness in Allen West’s weekend column claiming that the Obama administration is out to Kill Freedom (again) by “forcing” the closure of the only lead smelting plant in the U.S. in 2010. There’s the beautiful opening: I am one who steers very clear of tinfoil hat conspiracy theories. I […]

Did you watch the American Music Awards, America? Did you sink into a pit of existential gloom about the whole thing? Will you be more or less gloomy if we now have to talk about Allen West, the one-term Congresscritter from Florida who now just terrorizes us via his web site and Fox News? It […]

Remember last week, or this week probably, who even knows anymore Dok is on vacation and we are high on the pot, when we told you about Allen West’s hilarious new book, How To Shoot Guns Next To Detainees’ Heads And Influence People, or something? Well, a friendly tipster/artist/ne’er-do-well, one Mr. Brian J. Crowley, sent […]