Tag: Allen West

So, about that whole 'civilian control of the military' thing...So, about that whole 'civilian control of the military' thing...

Trump Could Do Worse Than Secretary Of Defense James Mattis. In Fact, It’s Shocking He Didn’t

Donald Trump seems to have almost accidentally found a competent candidate for Secretary of Defense. Maybe.
The Ludlow Massacre -- now THAT's worth a holiday

We Bet Allen West Would Still Like Labor Day To Honor Robber Barons And Scabs

It's another Labor Day blast from the past, as Allen West remembers how nice labor was before unions messed everything up.

Jerk America-Haters Won’t Wish Allen West Happy Independence Day

Allen West is here to police your holiday greeting habits.
Still the dumbest book cover in the history of U.S. America

Silly Goose Allen West Casually Death Threats President Obama For Grabbing His Guns

GRRR ARGH RAGE MAD OBAMA'S TAKIN' YR GUNS BUT NOT IF ALLEN WEST CAN STOP IT OOH AHH ANGRY WORDS GRRRR!!!!!!!ELEVENTY!!!!!! So, failed congressman, disgraced soldier, dirty whore pervert and all around human erectile dysfunction Allen West is mad about a...

Sarah Palin Says Donald Trump Is Jesus, Basically

We already know Donald Trump makes Sarah Palin so moist in her granny panty g-string, because of how he is a hero, a gen-u-ine hero just like John McCain, only without the going to war. And we know that...
Stupidest living human? Why not.

Mike Huckabee: Can We Shut Up About Racism And Talk About My Lord And Savior Jesus Christ?

When Mike Huckabee was first asked whether the Confederate flag should fly in South Carolina, he said Americans don't "want  to weigh in on every little issue in all 50 states that might be an important issue to the people...
Unfortunately Carlton Banks is not running.

GOP Would Like A Shot With The Blacks Once They’re Done Making Love To Barack Obama

It is of course a Science Fact that black people only voted for Barack Obama because he was black. This is why Alan Keyes and Allen West have also been president of America for several decades each, because all the...
What Allen West sees when he closes his eyes.

Allen West Got Sharia Law All Over Him In The Walmart Checkout Line

Look, disgraced torturer Allen West is scared of Muslims. They're everywhere! It used to be they were just in Iraq, and he could handle the situation by pretending to kill them and discharging bullets right next to their heads,...
Imagine that.

Surprise, Military Even More Rapey Than We Thought

As we've mentioned once or twenty times, the Pentagon has a bit of a problem with rape. Just how bad a problem with rape? Hard to say -- a 2013 Defense Department report estimated that about 26,000 members of the...
Gossiping cat has thoughts to share.

It’s Sunday Funday At The Wonkette, Let’s Sit Next To Each Other And Talk Sh*t About People

Happy Sunday, Wonketariat! We hope this love note finds you fat and happy. We should take a moment before we go get ACTUAL brunch, to do internet brunch gossip about the Most Popular Stories of the week. You all were all...
Still the dumbest book cover in the history of U.S. America

Allen West Can Keep Football Players From Getting Hurt, Just By Saying A Little Prayer!

Allen West, the Guardian of the Republic vile, disgraced torture fetishist and congressional race-loser who is also a creepazoid sex pervert, took some time off from those activities recently to discuss football injuries, and the best way to prevent them....
Hey Baby. Want to wrap your legs around an American legend?

Internet’s Stupidest Man Chuck C. Johnson: Disgraced Torturer Allen West Also A Big Horndog

So file this under shocking maybe mildly surprising if true: "Award-Winning Journalist" Chuck C. Johnson, the newly crowned Stupidest Man on the Internet, accuses conservative icon and disgraced former Army Colonel and one-term-only congressman Allen West of having done...

New House Speaker Louie Gohmert Will Fix America, Depose Dumb Drunk RINO John Boehner

Texas congressman and casual House-floor snacker Louie Gohmert delivered blessed news to the nation on the first Sunday of the new year: he will finally rise to be the savior America needs by defeating John Boehner to become the new Speaker of...
Finally a place for his talents

Allen West To Head Up ‘Think’ Tank. Stop Laughing, You Guys, It’s Not Funny.

Congratulations to disgraced torturer ex-Rep. Allen West on finding a jerb! (We were going to say "honest work," but this is Allen West we're talking about, after all.) According to a big ol' press release, come Jan. 2, 2015, the former disgraced...
Everybody needs a nap now and then

Wingnuts Pretty Mad At Obama For Letting Himself Be Killed Like That

This Secret Service thing, huh? It's quite a mess, and by golly, the right is just outraged that the agency is doing such a crappy job of defending the president they hate. Thank heavens they know who's responsible for...
Will not cause cancer probably

Good News, Ladies, Your Bra Won’t Give You Cancer And Other News You Can Maybe Use

Good news, bad news, old news, new news -- Yr Wonkette has it all, for all your news needs. In case you were worried that your over-the-shoulder-boulder-holder was doing cancer to your lady lumps, breathe a sigh of relief because...