Allen West

You guys, there is some serious UN-AMERICAN activity happening, and we bet you don’t know about it! According to Allen West on Fox & Friends, there is a secret Muslim plot in America to… wait for it… become politically organized in order to push for policies that are more friendly towards Muslims. Now is the […]

Allen West’s terrible new book is finally out, although the cover photo has been kicking around since November. Frankly, when we saw articles about West’s “new book” we thought maybe this was a rushed sequel. But no, it just turns out that West’s exciting memoirfesto, Guardian of the Republic: An American Ronin’s Journey to Faith, […]

See if you can follow the logic on this one, kids: On Fox’s Hannity Wednesday night, automated mobile grievance unit Allen West suggested that the Fort Hood shootings were the inevitable result of Barack Obama’s failure to recognize that America has international enemies. Now, by the time the program aired, it was pretty clear that […]

Did you watch Super Sportsball Spectacular yesterday? Were you rooting for the Broncos? If so, you are probably not reading this because you committed ritual suicide after that game. Those of you who remain are still watching wingnut heads explode over the goddamn gall of Coca-Cola to have a commercial that had many different languages. […]

Voters in Florida’s 18th Congressional District face a difficult decision in August — should they try to find a viable Republican candidate to face Patrick Murphy, who defeated Allen West in 2012, or should they try this guy: Ilya Katz, a self-described “political refugee of the Soviet Union” who claims to have spent “ten years […]

Remember when General Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff Secretary of State Colin Powell was awesome (Powell Doctrine) and then he wasn’t awesome (bullshit “testimony” at the United Nations about “WMD”) and then he was sort of awesome (endorsing Obama) and then he became a total dirty Nazi Marxist hippie commie from Commiestan because […]

There’s just no end of wingnutty goodness in Allen West’s weekend column claiming that the Obama administration is out to Kill Freedom (again) by “forcing” the closure of the only lead smelting plant in the U.S. in 2010. There’s the beautiful opening: I am one who steers very clear of tinfoil hat conspiracy theories. I […]

Did you watch the American Music Awards, America? Did you sink into a pit of existential gloom about the whole thing? Will you be more or less gloomy if we now have to talk about Allen West, the one-term Congresscritter from Florida who now just terrorizes us via his web site and Fox News? It […]

Remember last week, or this week probably, who even knows anymore Dok is on vacation and we are high on the pot, when we told you about Allen West’s hilarious new book, How To Shoot Guns Next To Detainees’ Heads And Influence People, or something? Well, a friendly tipster/artist/ne’er-do-well, one Mr. Brian J. Crowley, sent […]

Wow, how could this cover of Allen West’s probably terrible new book be any better? More eagles, maybe, like a live one excreting digested fish sludge on Allen West’s head. That’s good luck, we hear! Oh, it could be a Blingee! With pictures of guns and dancing aliens smoking marijuana, yes!

Professional conservative victim Allen West took to Fox News yesterday to condemn the incredible insensitivity and unspeakable atrocity of a “despicable, demeaning, and disgusting” email by Florida congressman Alan Grayson that compared the Tea Party to the KKK. West, whose job is to condemn all liberals for mentioning racism until it’s time for him to […]

Walking bucket of resentments Allen West is “leaving his job” at wingnut media concern PJ Media after getting shouty at a female staff member and calling her a “Jewish American Princess,” according to BuzzFeed. The internal PJ Media email that BuzzFeed got ahold of pretty much has “Comforting euphemism memo” written all over it: “In […]

Welcome to another edition of our Derp Roundup, that collection of virtual floor sweepings that are too stoopid to completely ignore but not worth a full-length post. To start with, let’s give an Excellence In Trolling medal to the sometimes-funny Andy Borowitz, whose New Yorker piece this week was characteristically meh, but managed to fool […]

So, you may have heard about the awful murder of an Australian baseball player by three teens in Duncan, Oklahoma. The killers more or less admitted to killing Chris Lane for the fun of it as he was out for a jog. It’s sick and disgusting. But what’s really outrageous, according to Fox & Friends, […]

Following Barack Obama’s speech Friday on the Trayvon Martin killing, former Florida Rep. Allen West just wanted to clarify that America doesn’t have a racism problem, it has a scary black president problem: “I am a black male who grew up in the inner city of Atlanta and no one ever followed me in a […]